Man, I should probably stop posting a jillion stories now. I just want to do something neeeew~ Whatever. I'm SO close to 100 chapters of His and Her Broken Bones. FDSJSFDAFDAS I CAN'T BREATHE IT'S SO AWESOME.

Bathroom idea. This will be short, probably only a few chapters.

Valkyrie Cain kissed Skulduggery Pleasant goodbye, his hands and lips probably lingering on her longer than normal.

"You have to go and meet your Elder friend," she muttered.

Skulduggery smiled with his waxy skin. "Ghastly hates it when you call him that," he replied. "And besides, he probably forgot, what with the fact that he's had his hands all over Tanith lately. Makes me wonder why I haven't abandoned everything to spend my moments with you."

"Oh, excuse me, I'm dying and gagging from that last line."

"I do have a way with words."

Valkyrie smiled, leaning against the doorway to Gordon's mansion. "Leave," she said to the skeleton who had just begun forcing himself inside the house.

"But my house is cold. And I don't like it. And it doesn't have you," he partially whined, sagging when Valkyrie shook her head.

"You have to go right now, and I have to go to bed and sleep because I'm tired because you woke me up at five this morning because you're an idiot."

Skulduggery frowned and rested his head against Valkyrie's shoulder. "Fine, I'll go. I'm not happy, though."

"Okay, yeah, bye then."

Valkyrie quickly shoved Skulduggery from the house and shut the door. She laughed as Skulduggery huffed sadly, and then turned and headed into the kitchen. She grabbed a glass of water and shuffled upstairs. She quickly showered and put on her pajamas.

Creeeeeak!

Valkyrie rotated on the spot slowly, setting her hairbrush down. She stared at her suddenly open window, absolutely positive that it wasn't open a few minutes ago. Valkyrie shut and bolted the window. She looked over to her now open closet door.

"I think I need more sleep," she mumbled to herself, shutting the door with a slam. She reached for her water, but suddenly stopped at horrifying sound.

Screeeeeeech!

Valkyrie spun quickly, clicking a fireball into her hands so she could see through the dark. She watched in utter horror as a figure dressed head to toe in black emerged from the closet. They had long black hair, with coal colored eyes. Her skin was white as snow, and the only color on her was her blood red lipstick.

Valkyrie remained frozen, realizing exactly who that was. "You can't touch me," she said weakly, dropping her glass of water. "You aren't real, and I'm not afraid of you."

Darquesse grinned, crunching her thick boots on a thigh bone. "Are you sure? Perhaps you're not real. You're the fake and naïve girl before I was created. People only know about Darquesse, not silly Valkyrie Cain.

"I – You can't – !" Valkyrie attempted, but she was cut off when Darquesse flew across the room to her. She swung a fist, catching Valkyrie square in the jaw. Defenseless and scared stupid, Valkyrie allowed herself to be cornered. Darquesse loomed over her. Her shadows coiled around her, rising and disappearing into puffs of smoke. Tendrils snaked through her silky hair, lifting it up, like a breeze would. Valkyrie took a breath and raised her own fist, but Darquesse stopped it with her shadows. Her hands caught Valkyrie's neck and throat, stopping her from talking.

"You're stupid," Darquesse simply said. "You could be much more than whatever the hell you're doing with your life now. Seriously, what are you doing? I mean, for starters, you're together with Skulduggery, which is just weird. He's always loved you, just in that platonic sort of way."

Valkyrie squirmed, but Darquesse kept her grip. "You're absolutely pathetic. I should just kill you right now."

Her shadows instantly sharpened. Before they could stab Valkyrie, she kicked her legs up and shot Darquesse across the room. She snarled, waving her hand and sending the blackness towards Valkyrie. Valkyrie, however, managed to dodge the shadows, seeing in how she knew what Darquesse would do, as they were one of the same. Valkyrie stumbled forward and cracked the glass of water she had dropped over Darquesse's head. She gripped her arms and pulled on them hard, putting her knees onto her back. Darquesse struggled against Valkyrie's bonds, but she couldn't break free.

"You'll never be as great as me, you know," she sputtered. "Everyone would know your name, and there'd be nothing pulling Skulduggery away from you."

"Shut up."

Darquesse cracked a smile, and then ripped her arms from Valkyrie's grip and dashed back into the closet. Valkyrie growled, getting up and marching over to her closet. She thrust open the door, but there was no crazy, murderer version of herself there; just clothes and shoes.

She sighed heavily and resolved to never tell a soul that her very worst nightmare came to life.

Like? Hate? Neutral? Do tell!

I'm gonna be away for a few days (actually, just the rest of Saturday, all of Sunday, and then a bit of Monday). But point is that I won't answer any reviews or whatever.

I'm sorry this is kinda weird and stupid and short. I didn't really want anything to make sense, because it'll all make sense later. I think. Most likely.

Kay, thanks for reading and sorry for any mistakes! :D