"You don't need to protect me."
Those were the last words that Aaron had said to Robert, trying to put on a brave face. All he really wanted though was the complete opposite. He wanted, needed even, Robert to take him in his arms and never let him go. To promise him that everything was going to be ok. That they wouldn't lose each other. That Robert wouldn't leave him. Of course he knew, sitting here now, even after 17 pints and counting that he couldn't lose Robert - because Robert wasn't his to lose. He never had been. Not really. This time tomorrow Robert would no longer be a 'free man' and would have the life that every man wished for. Wife, money, a stable career. Except for Aaron. He had never wished for such a life. He'd always been one for settling for whatever life threw at him. That was until Robert appeared and changed the whole direction of Aaron's life - turning it upside down and round and round several times - until it reached the point that Aaron was so dizzy that he couldn't cope a second of being without Robert.
As Aaron sat in his room, his 18th pint in one hand, he thought about the events of last night. He so badly wished that he had just cherished his last moments with Robert but he knew that if he'd have gone through with it he wouldn't have been able to let Robert go. Saying goodbye to Robert had hurt him like nothing ever had before because he was so sure that what he and Robert had was magic. Real. But when Robert had handed Aaron an envelope of money as a 'thank you' he felt as though all their time together had been a lie and as Aaron shoved Robert out of the door all Robert heard was
"You don't need to protect me... good...bye!"
As Aaron remembered the events and tears began to run down his face, there was a knock at the door, interrupting his thoughts. He knew there was no one else in the house but Aaron didn't have the energy, physically or emotionally, to move off the edge of his bed. However the persistent knock at the door was not leaving so he dragged himself off the bed and stumbled down the stairs. He opened the door and could not believe his eyes. Was he dreaming? Was it the drink? No. It was real! Robert, on the night of his own stag do, was standing at Aaron's door. But Aaron being his-typical-stubborn-self demanded
"What are you doing here? It's your stag night! Go home Robert!"
Robert stood his ground "No Aaron, I'm not going anywhere until you here me out!" and with that he forced his way through the door and upstairs to the all too familiar setting of Aaron's bedroom. Aaron had no choice but to hear him out. And deep down he wanted to know what Robert had to say.
"Look... I know I was wrong about the money" Robert began, "But I'm sorry, I thought I was doing the right thing... I can see now I wasn't... My head is all over the place"
"That makes two of us!" Aaron responded, not wanting to seem too eager to cooperate in the conversation.
"You know I'm no good at all this feelings talk... so I'm just gonna come out and say it" Robert continued "You're the only person that I've ever been able to be truly myself around. I don't know what this is between us but I don't want it to end. I don't want this life without you. I don't want to live a miserable life with Chrissie when I've only ever been happy when I'm with you...and I know you feel the same... I know you do!"
Aaron tried to cut in but Robert held his hand up to stop him
"...no... you were right last night you don't need me to protect you... But I WANT to protect you, more than anything... that's gotta count for something right? Aaron please say you'll forgive me?"
There was a long pause. Aaron didn't quite know what to say or how to respond. But he knew one thing. He needed Robert. Here. Now. And forever. He took Robert's hand in his own and began
"Of course I forgive you. But do you really mean it? If you don't please walk away now, and leave me to get on with my life." Aaron pleaded.
Robert removed his hand from Aaron's and placed his own two hands on Aaron's face, cupping his cheeks and stroking the left side of his face with his thumb, something that only he knew relaxed Aaron.
"I never want to lose you Aaron Livesy, my life is worth nothing without you... I... I... I love you!"
And before Aaron knew it Robert's lips were, once again, crashing into his and they both collapsed onto Aaron's bed, allowing the darkness to swallow them up, into their own familiar little bubble.