She finds the flat on Sunday, after a week of fruitless searching with Mickey and Jake. Mickey is still asleep when she slips out, but his flat is stifling her and she's tired of not being able to breathe. she remembers this feeling, and a rocket and a black hole and "Do you have a Rose Tyler on board?" and she thinks it's been months since she has been able to breathe properly She is heading for the park, but after 20 minutes she realizes her feet have led her somewhere else entirely and she is utterly lost. and she remembers this feeling, and a laugh, and a hand outstretched and "Come on!" and she thinks it's been years since she laughed
The street is older than the one Mickey lives on, older than any of the ones she has seen, but there is something about it that feels familiar, even if she recognizes nothing. It's another three or four houses before she sees it, but in an instant she knows it's hers. The sign on the door that says "For Rent" also says "See next door" and so she clatters one set of steps and up the next and knocks sharply three times and attempts to quell the fluttering of her heart. Its only when the door opens that she remembers that it is barely 6 o'clock in the morning, Sunday morning, and she is only wearing striped pajamas and she remembers this feeling, and a spaceship, and a wink, and "So I'm the Doctor now?" and she thinks she's never loved like that and that this, standing on a strange street in her pajamas at 6 in the morning is the last thing she should be doing right now. She starts babbling, words rushing out too fast and bumping into each other and mixing up and she feels like a fool and it takes more strength than she thinks she has to keep from sobbing.
The old man who answers the door doesn't seem to mind, however. He lets her talk unhindered for a moment before he interrupts with an "I was up anyway," and then he shrugs, and introduces himself as John Smith and wonders would she like a cup of tea? Her heart lurches and for a moment the sidewalk spins in place, but the hand on her elbow pulls her back to reality. She accepts his offer not so much because she needs the tea but because she needs a minute, a chance to breathe and think and she remembers this feeling, and a smirk and an alien, and a "You gave up on me!" and she thinks she has never been so scared and it takes another breath to keep the tears back.
The tea is milky and only lukewarm, but it's soothing anyway and she drinks alone in the kitchen while John Smith disappears into the living room to find the keys to the flat next door. He takes long enough that she finishes her tea and her stomach is more settled and she feels less like she wants to cry and more like she wants or needs to be there. She suspects he took a while on purpose because he gives her a hesitant smile when he returns, eyes searching her face and when she returns it, he grins. She follows him next door and he unlocks the faded blue door and she holds her breath when it squeaks. It's bigger than she thought from seeing it outside, and suddenly the urge to cry is back, only she is not sure whether its sadness or something else. and she remembers this feeling, and a strange blue box, and a plastic boyfriend and "Yes, it is" and she thinks she's never been so alive It's narrow, but long, two bedrooms, one bath, tiny kitchen, small living room. He apologizes for the color scheme "coral" with a grimace but all she can say is "it's beautiful." The heater in the kitchen hums slightly, and the whole place is a little banged up and not quite new and it's perfect.
When she finally makes it back to Mickey's, Jake is in the living room on the phone and Mickey is putting his shoes on and she can hear her Mum's voice from where the receiver is pressed against Jake's ear and her own phone is vibrating on the kitchen counter and she realizes, belatedly, that she hadn't left him a note, and that she has never been out on her own, here, before, and that he might have been worried and now her Mum is going to come round, and she's upset her dad but all she can do is smile.
"I've found a flat."
