Disclaimer: Not mine. If it were, the episodes would have more whump.

For Merlin7 AKA Shelly.

Phantoms tag

Thank you to Alipeeps for being my beta on this one

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A twig snapping near him had Sheppard jolting out of his restless sleep, slick with sweat, heart pounding and fingers curling around the trigger of his P90 in one practised move.

As he blinked the sleep from his eyes, he saw Ronon returning to the mouth of the cave where he had been keeping watch.

"Hey," he said when he saw that Sheppard was awake and staring at him with wide, enquiring eyes.

"Hey," Sheppard said as he pushed himself up to sit. He cast a glance over Teyla who was sleeping soundly beside him and then returned his gaze back to Ronon, "You wanna sleep for a few hours? I can take watch."

Ronon shook his head, "I'm fine."

Sheppard licked his lips and looked over to where Beckett was propped up against a rock, his arms crossed and his chin resting on his chest. Kagan was sleeping through induced sedation and Mckay's chest was rising and falling in confirmation that he was still alive. Sheppard felt guilt wash over him as he got up to his feet and stretched.

"I can't sleep anymore," Sheppard supplied as he deliberately took his hands off his P90 and let it dangle on his vest.

"I can't sleep," Ronon provided in an emotionless voice. He sat back against the rocks, knees up to his chest, arm resting across them and holding his own weapon.

The two men regarded each other, fingers twitching, eyes narrowing, and then a noise drew their attention and plucked them from their private reveries. Sheppard moved swiftly over to Mckay's side and placed a comforting hand on his shoulder.

"You okay?" Sheppard whispered as Mckay blinked slowly.

Mckay turned to him, confusion apparent in his eyes, and then he went rigid, forcing Sheppard to retract his hand.

"Sorry," Sheppard offered contritely.

"For shooting me?" Mckay asked sullenly. He shifted against a throb of pain and sucked in his breath through his teeth.

"You want me to wake Carson?"

"No," Mckay said, deliberately avoiding his gaze.

"I'm sorry I shot you Rodney."

"I know. You weren't really here," Mckay said waving his hand dismissively.

"No, I mean it." He looked down at his boots and closed his eyes momentarily. He was tired and his back ached from being hurled forward by the blast of Leonard's suicidal grenade. He moved his hands, their fidgeting a product of fear; fear that they would take on a life of their own and end up pulling the trigger on another friend.

"You're a crazy son of a bitch, you know that?

Sheppard's eyes widened, as he was overwhelmed with a pervading fear. That voice.

It sounded like Holland, but it couldn't be him. He had never really been there, which only meant one thing… He felt his breathing quicken as he raised his head and the air rushed from his lungs when he saw Holland lying in front of him, blood crusted at his nose, face bruised and battered. Sheppard could smell avionic fuel in the air, feel the sand beneath his boots, and the sun on the back of his neck.

He clamped his eyes shut and opened them to find Mckay staring up at him, with an enquiring expression.

"Are you okay?" Mckay repeated.

Sheppard took in a steadying breath and looked up to scan his surroundings to ground himself into reality. "I'm fine," he lied as he stood up shakily. It was the vestiges of a nightmare, nothing more.

"Sheppard?"

He turned to Ronon to find him standing up and drawing his gun. It was pointed straight at him.

"Sheppard?"

"Ronon, I am Sheppard," he said, putting his hands up, his posture placating.

Ronon eyes were wide and unseeing; he was held within his own personal nightmare, not hearing Sheppard's voice.

"Sheppard?" he called out again.

"Ronon, buddy. Listen, it's me."

"Oh my god," he heard Mckay say from behind him, "You're still hallucinating aren't you? Carson….Carson!" McKay tried to move but felt the distant pull on his wound and was reduced to a quivering wreck as he fought to stave off unconsciousness. Beckett opened his eyes and saw Ronon advancing on Sheppard, whose hands were raised in surrender.

"Rodney?"

"They're hallucinating." Mckay said in a panicked voice.

Beckett got up onto his knees and breathed a sigh of relief when neither man turned on him. He raised his own hands and looked between Ronon and Sheppard.

"Ronon. You need to wake up."

The wraith was standing in front of him, hands up, an eerie smile curving its lips.

"You're a wraith," Ronon spat, "What have you done with Sheppard?"

"Damn it, I am Sheppard!" Sheppard was getting progressively more irate. The raised hands were lowering slightly.

"Okay," said Beckett, rising to his feet very slowly.

"What's happening, Carson?" Mckay was saying.

"I don't know. Maybe it takes a while for the brain chemistry to be return to normal…I don't know."

"Teyla," Mckay shouted into the darkness, "Teyla!"

"It's no use," said Beckett quietly, "I gave her a light sedative to sleep. She's not waking up anytime soon." He paused, "Ronon, you need to put the weapon down."

Ronon flinched but didn't react to Beckett's voice. Beckett watched as Sheppard started to move his own hand towards his side arm, creeping it inch by inch until he could get a firm hold.

Sheppard un-holstered his weapon. He was trying to remain focused on Ronon, but he was having a hard time remaining lucid. He could feel himself retreating further into his nightmare. He stiffened when he heard the sound of a jeep in the distance. He craned his neck to look around, heart beating hard in his chest.

Beckett seemed to notice the imperceptible change in Sheppard's eyes, "John?"

Sheppard blinked and the world changed for him. He was back in the desert, Holland lying at his feet, an Afghan soldier moving towards him with an automatic weapon. He could hear someone speaking to him, their voice sounded hollow and foreign and it couldn't penetrate his vision. He pulled out his side arm and aimed it forward.

Beckett watched as Sheppard pulled his side arm free, unlatched the safety and aimed it at Ronon. He wasn't seeing the truth before his eyes, and Beckett didn't know what to do, or how to intervene. Either way, this didn't look as though it was going to end well.

The wraith was going for its self-destruct. It was going to try and take him out with him. He wouldn't let that happen. "You're dead," Ronon snarled.

The Afghan had the nerve to keep moving forward. He was going to kill him and Holland if he didn't act first. He would act first. Sheppard depressed his finger on the trigger slightly and said, "I don't think so."

He had to stop that wraith from self-destructing. If it was going to die, it was going to die by Ronon's hand.

Ronon suddenly rammed his entire weight into Sheppard, knocking him down to the ground with his great, hulking form. Their guns clattered ineffectually to the mud and both men abandoned them as they tried to regain balance. Sheppard held his fists up and Ronon took an initial swing that Sheppard ducked.

"You're both hallucinating!" Beckett said as he scrambled on his hands and knees towards the guns.

Ronon jumped up high and slammed his fist into the wraith's face on the way back down to earth.

Sheppard crumbled from the blow of the Afghan, down onto the floor and in front of Beckett before he could get to the guns.

Sheppard grabbed the doctor roughly by his collar and shouted, "Get out of here Holland!" before getting back onto his feet and kicking out at Ronon. Blood was streaming from his nose as he ducked another punch, the droplets falling like rain as the two of them moved in a rhythmic dance of violence.

"Carson, do something!" Mckay pleaded from the floor. He felt useless and Teyla hadn't stirred to help. Before Beckett could intervene, Sheppard and Ronon bent simultaneously, each retrieving a gun and pointing it at the other. They were locked in a stand off, both panting hard and sweating profusely.

"Colonel Sheppard!" Beckett tried again, "What you are seeing, is not real!"

Sheppard spoke to him without turning his head, "Holland. You got a death wish?" and then wiped away the blood from his nose with the back of his hand.

"Ronon," Beckett shouted as he tried a different tact, "Ronon!"

Sheppard took a few steps to his left as Ronon mirrored him. The air was laced thick with tension.

"Sheppard! Just drop the gun!" Mckay shouted as he pushed himself up onto his elbows.

Ronon and Sheppard continued to stare at one another. There was a split second before Sheppard depressed the trigger on his gun and Ronon pulled his. Ronon, stunned, collapsed to the ground silently. Sheppard felt the initial impact of the bullet tear through his vest and dropped to his knees, the gun slipping from his grasp as he elicited a groan.

He looked out at the desert, down at the wounded Afghan and watched the red spread through his fatigues.

"This didn't happen," he muttered as he felt the combination of lowering adrenaline levels and blood loss make his head go dizzy. The vestiges of his hallucination disintegrated before his eyes. Sheppard looked down at the blood and raised his eyebrows in confusion.

"Carson?" he said before he tumbled backwards onto the mud. His mind sought to connect with events. He was in pain. It was excruciating and radiating outwards throughout his body. Something tickled the back of his throat as black spots danced in front of his vision. He coughed hard, the move jolting his body, and fought to breathe.

Beckett was at Sheppard's side in seconds, ripping open his vest and applying pressure to the wound. "Sheppard, are you with me?"

Sheppard blinked woozily and watched as the sun washed landscape morphed into the night time gloom, "Carson?" he asked with a perplexed expression.

"You were having a hallucination."

Sheppard groaned as the pain began to flare up, "Tie us up," he said in a strained voice.

"What?"

"Take our weapons, all of them, and tie us up," Sheppard rasped as he felt the pain in his chest ebb and flow like the tides. He couldn't pull in enough oxygen. It felt as though he was sucking it in through a straw.

"Colonel, you're injured. You have a massive wound in your shoulder."

"Carson, I'm not asking; I'm ordering." He coughed again and bought his hand up to grip Beckett's shoulder. "We can't be trusted," he said. He looked over to where Mckay was lying and for a moment saw Holland instead. He blinked and McKay was looking back at him with panicked eyes, face red as he fought with his own pain.

"Sheppard?" Mckay said as he looked at Sheppard's pale features.

"See, now we're even," Sheppard choked out. He coughed again and felt blood dribble down his cheek. He took a last breath and felt it catch in his chest.

Beckett cast a surreptitious glance over to where Ronon was lying as he worked on Sheppard. His professionalism had been compromised earlier by his foray into his hallucinatory world and there was no way that he was going to lose Sheppard now. He delved into what limited medical supplies he had.

"Sheppard!" he said as he pressed down some gauze onto the wound. Blood was everywhere, slicking his fingers, pooling on the ground; everywhere. "Stay with me Colonel." He gave him a light tap on his cheek, "Colonel?"

Sheppard had stopped moving, his chest was still and when Beckett felt for a pulse he couldn't find one. He leaned over the Colonel, his ear to Sheppard's chest; no breath sounds. Nothing. Desperately, he started chest compressions.

"No!" he shouted. He looked over his shoulder to where Mckay was watching him intently.

"Carson?"

"Sheppard! Damn it."

"What's happening?" Mckay was shouting. Beckett's back was to him, blocking his view, and obscuring his ability to see what was happening with Sheppard.

"He's stopped breathing. I need to give him some epinephrine."

"Carson?"

"Rodney, I'm trying to bloody work!" He found what he was looking for in his medical supplies and prepped the needle. He injected the contents of the syringe and rubbed the area to encourage a quick release of the drug. He placed his hands at Sheppard's throat and felt no pulse.

"Carson?"

Beckett got up and moved over to his other supplies. He tore open bags until he found what he was looking for. Mckay kept his eyes trained on Sheppard. Something wasn't right. Beckett returned with the defibrillator and began to charge it.

"Carson!" Mckay shouted.

"I'm working, Rodney!" Beckett shouted as he exposed Sheppard's chest further and moved his dog tags to the side. He was completely immersed in his work. He lubricated the paddles and then placed them into position over Sheppard's chest.

"Carson!"

"Rodney!" His finger was poised to discharge the volts that would bring Sheppard back to life. It was the pitch of Mckay's voice, fraught with panic, which had him finally turn to him, "What Rodney?"

Mckay was deathly pale. "He's alive!"

"He's not-" Beckett dropped the defibrillators and blinked. He scrubbed a hand over his face, unbelieving of what he saw. He could see that Sheppard was staring up at him with unblinking, panicked eyes; blood was still pooling out around his shoulder.

"Oh my god." He pressed his hand down onto Sheppard's wound, "I thought you were-"

"This is the Daedalus. Are you ready for pick up?"

Beckett jolted upright and reached for his radio, "Doctor Beckett here."

"Where's Colonel Sheppard?"

"He's……..he was shot. I need a medical team on standby. I gave him a shot of epinephrine. It's important that we get his heart monitored for any side effects caused by the drug," he said as he looked down at his blood-coated hands.

"Is everything okay down there?"

"No," Beckett forced out through his constricted throat. "We've been experiencing some residual hallucinations. We'll need to be detained once we're transported on board."

"Doctor Beckett?"

"Colonel Sheppard's orders. We can't be trusted."

"We've located you. Standby for transport."

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Elizabeth entered the infirmary and cast a weary glance over the four beds. She found Beckett in his office, sitting in his chair and looking up at the ceiling with a thoughtful expression on his face. She knocked the doorframe, "Carson?"

He was slow to come out of his thoughts, and blinked a few times before speaking, "Elizabeth."

"Shouldn't you be in bed?"

"Aye, probably," he said as he ran his hand along the line of stubble on his chin. "I'm not really sleepy at the moment."

Elizabeth hooked a thumb over her shoulder, "How are they doing?"

Beckett got up stiffly from his chair and walked around to join her in the doorway. "Teyla is recovering well. She picked up a minor infection but I'm treating it with antibiotics and plenty of fluids so she'll be fine. Ronon's wound was a superficial graze, which I have cleaned up and stitched. Rodney had an intra-abdominal bleed which we managed to stop, though he's going to be recovering quite a while before he's ready to go back on duty. Kagan is out of the woods and…" he sighed, "Colonel Sheppard is-"

Elizabeth reached for his shoulder, "Don't blame yourself."

"He's doing remarkably well considering I nearly killed the poor bugger."

"Carson," Elizabeth warned.

Beckett rubbed his tired eyes.

"And how are you?"

"I'm disturbed by it all," he admitted. "I'm going to talk to Kate about what happened. In fact, we should all talk to Kate about it. I doubt it's anything we'll all forget any time soon."

They stood in silence for a few minutes, until it was filled with voices from across the room.

"Finally, you're awake," he heard the whining voice of Mckay say.

"He was severely injured," Teyla said with a note of exasperation.

"Guys? What happened?" Sheppard asked in a sleepy voice.

"You were shot."

"What?"

"You don't remember?"

"No. Evidently not, Rodney."

Silence.

Sheppard spoke, "Who?"

"Ronon," Mckay supplied.

"Ow," Sheppard muttered.

"You shot him first."

"What?"

"Okay, not shot but stunned."

"He okay?"

"This is Ronon we're talking about."

"What about Kagan?"

"I'm fine, Sir."

"Okay, so now everyone has shot everyone?" Sheppard clarified.

"Yes," Teyla said.

"Good. I was feeling left out."

"We're never going to live this down," Mckay griped.

THE END