A/N

This is full of spoilers. Don't even bother if you haven't finished the game.

Although Serge is a silent protagonist in Chrono Cross, he narrates Radical Dreamers. I'm trying to take his personality from that, and I hope this exercise helps me get better at writing different first-person voices. Still, the carefree camaraderie Serge and Kid shared has been tested by time and tragedy, and the characters and their relationship have grown and changed. For a Radical Dreamers fic that does the characters perfect justice, I direct you to Lerayl's "Recollections."

This fic will be finished in a few weeks and amount to four or five parts. I wanted to post it as a oneshot, but I haven't been motivated to finish the story yet. I think I'll be more motivated if people read and review. ;)

Orphan of Flame

Part the First: A Light Already Lost

Serge

Coming back to my senses, I realized I was coughing. Then I felt the floor under my knees. Reached out, grasped wood, stood. It was the headboard of a bed. Spots before my eyes, the afterimage of... of what? Falling, falling. I gasped and tried to focus my eyes. They were full of tears, and it wasn't just because of the smoke.

Kid. She was sitting up, staring at the wall. For a moment I saw the little girl she had been, tear-stained and covered in ashes. I wiped my eyes and breathed her name. Her eyes flew to me and she jerked away in almost animal fear. Then I understood in horror. "Kid, Kid, it's me, it's Serge. I'm not him. He's dead, Kid. I killed Lynx. He can't hurt you anymore." I wanted her to understand but I didn't know what to do, so I bent and put my arms around her awkwardly. Maybe I'd expected her to burst into tears, but she just sat there, rigid.

Her voice was blank and unfeeling when she broke my heart. "I don't think I wanna look at you right now."

I flinched back as if I'd been slapped. The others moved in to talk, a babble of voices, but the only one I heard was hers.

"What...? My wound...? Lynx stabbed me...? What are you talking about? Ohhh...wait a minute... Not again... I lose my memory sometimes. Whenever I'm in a dangerous situation where I might get hurt, I just seem to disappear and vanish. And when I come to, I wake up somewhere safe without a single scratch. But the thing is, I can't remember what happened. I don't get it... Anyway, it's happened to me plenty o' times in the past, so it's nothin' to worry about!" She smiled at everyone's concern and told them she was fit as a fiddle. A convincing actor, playing fine with all her might. If I hadn't known her better, I might have believed it myself. She wasn't really the kind of person who worries much about lying in the first place. But when she's staring at you firmly with those eyes of hers-those bold, straight, honest eyes-you haven't got a prayer of calling her bluff.

Her laugh rang hollow in my ears. The fire had swallowed the stars in her eyes. Had Lynx hurt her? I got madder and madder thinking about it, so I didn't think about it.

I left to get some air. Washed up in the rain barrel outside, changed my clothes, laundered the first set and hung them up to dry. My favorite pair of blue shorts, burned on one edge. I was burned too, so I took a couple of capsules.

And constantly, in the back of my mind, all I could hear was her small voice. Are you going to go away? Are you going to leave me?

I only came back when everyone was gone and Radius told me I should go see her.