King Dedede was at home, playing whack-a-mole. Only he wasn't whacking moles with his hammer, he was whacking Thomas, the Tank Engine.
The King of Dreamland was too busy giving Thomas the time of his life to speak, grunts of high-pitched screams like the little bitch he was escaping the penguin.
Thomas honked his horn seductively.
Dedede was happy to hear such a loving sound from the Tank Engine, and so he pulled down his trousers and pulled out his prize possession.
His Super Smash Bros. Melee disc.
Thomas chugged along like a broken smoke machine, spitting out black puffs from his dank engine. He had just finished dealing with some weed.
Dedede plugged two controllers into the Wii U because nobody uses the Gamecube anymore, and handed one to Thomas.
Thomas ran over the controller, clicking the A button to confirm his character: Ganondorf.
Dedede picked Kirby.
They spawned on Final Destination, and Dedede instantly suicided because Kirby is low-tier trash and Dedede liked to see Kirby suffer because Dedede hated Kirby.
It was at this point that Dedede remembered that he has set it to one-stock.
Thomas drove over his controller in victory. A triumphant screech as he rammed into the television.
Dedede got into bed and cried like a fairy.
Thomas honked seductively and winked.