Rustle, rustle, rustle. Scratch, scratch.
"Oh, my God, what the hell was that?"
"Relax!" Jeff rolled over in his sleeping bag, laughing, reaching an arm out for his terrified fiancé. "It's probably just a twig on the roof of the tent."
"Not a kangaroo?"
"Hon, kangaroo's thump. You've seen one before." They had, in fact, that very day – they were camping around Waratah Bay and had seen a whole abundance of animals in the national park area.
Nick's bottom lip began to quiver, and Jeff pulled him into his arms. "Oh, babe, it's okay. I'll protect you from the big nasty tree."
Scraaaaaaaaaaaaatch.
"A twig does NOT make that kind of noise, Jeffrey."
The blonde planted a kiss on Nick's head, but not quite able to resist temptation. "Must be the drop-bears then."
"What the hell is a drop-bear? You didn't tell me about those…?" There was a tiny flicker of fear in Nick's eyes as Jeff pulled him in closer, nuzzling into his shoulder.
"You remember that koala we saw earlier?" Nick nodded. "Well, imagine that born in Chernobyl. They're at least three times as big, live in gum trees, and feed on a diet of eucalyptus, Vegemite and tourists. Preferably European, though I'd imagine Americans are fairly similar."
Nick's bottom lip began quivering again, and Jeff was strongly reminded of back in school, when they'd come across a spider in Nick's bathroom. Though, admittedly, that had thrown Jeff too – until he'd remembered that he was in America and the life there wasn't all designed to kill you like it was back home.
"Lucky for you, though," Jeff got up, rummaging through his suitcase, torch clamped between his neck and shoulder, "I know how to scare them away." He chucked Nick a pair of boardies, before grabbing his own pair. "Put these on. Like this." He put the shorts on top of his head like a turban.
"Really?" Nick did the same. It lasted about 5 seconds before Jeff lost it.
"Oh, babe." He pulled Nick into an Eskimo kiss. "I'm sorry. But you look ridiculous."
"... What do you mean…?"
"I'm sorry, I couldn't resist!" He ripped the pants off Nick's head with his teeth before twisting his head and mashing their lips together. "I think a better option would be to get as much Aussie in you as possible." He trailed a hand down Nick's chest, through his shirt. "And I know one way to make that happen…"
Part 6, I believe, of my Warbler what-are-now-becoming-too-long-for-but-for-the-sake-of-continuity-am-now-going-to-call-drabbles.
Like it? Hate it? Want me to smother myself in BBQ sauce and go out in the bush, drop-bear hunting? Please let me know!
Keep smiling! :D