A/N: Hey everyone, Mossy here with my first published story. I'm completely new at this, so no flames please! Thank you. Also, this is probably what can only be described as crack so…. Yeah.

I do not own Harry Potter, but I do own an apple. Yaaay...

Enjoy!

The sunlight had just barely began to peer through the window of the small white two bed apartment that Draco Malfoy shared with his family when Draco began to rise from his slumber. All night he had been dreaming about Hogwarts and Harry Potter (May he forever burn in hell,) and was more than eager to push himself out of his bed. He ran a hand through his shiny golden hair before stretching over to kiss his wife.

"Good morning honey." He smiled.

Antoinette in all of her shiny apple-ness didn't reply.

"Oh, I see, you're still sleeping. Well, I'll just leave you alone then." Draco smiled before deciding he probably needed to check on his children. Taking the utmost care to be as quiet as was humanly possible, he brushed his teeth, ran a comb through his messy golden blond hair, and changed into something more suitable before leaving the room.

The room across the hall (the only other room besides the kitchen/living room and their bedroom/bathroom,) had a door that was decorated with a number of differently colored paint splotches and stickers. He quietly pushed it open to reveal three children asleep in their bed. Apollo, Andrew and little Apple (who was named after Draco's first wife who had died when she was brutally murdered by Harry Potter,) were all just sitting in all of their shiny apple glory. Draco's favorite was secretly Andrew because he believed his son's golden hue came from him, but he loved all of his children very much.

"Hello." He greeted. They didn't answer, so he assumed they must be sleeping. Being as quiet as humanly possible he decided to back out of the room. As he started to silently step backwards he heard a sickening squelching noise underfoot. With horror Draco lifted up his slipper to reveal the crushed remains of his fourth child and only daughter, Apalucy.

"NOOOOOOOO!" Draco screamed, falling to his knees beside what now could only be described as apple sauce.

O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O

"He's completely lost his bloody mind." Ron declared; eyes fixated on the security tapes of Draco Malfoy's apartment.

"Poor guy," Hermione shook her head in pity, "I guess we're going to need to do you-know what now."

"Yay!" Harry cheered before pressing the big red button sitting in front of the trio.

O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O

White suited Ministry of Magic agents swarmed Draco, seizing him by his arms and proceeding to drag him out the door. Draco was literally dragged away, kicking and screaming.

"NO! YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND! MY DAUGHTER IS DYING! I HAVE TO SAVE HER! ANTOINETTE! HEEELPPP MEEE!"
Noo. Nooo. Noooo….

"NO!" Draco cried as he shot straight up in his bed, sweat beads rolling down his face. "Oh my god." He cursed before rolling over. "It was just a dream. Just a dream. Oh thank goodness." He looked over to where his wife- his real wife, was lying.

"Honey, I just had the weirdest dream. I was married to this apple named Antoinette, and we had four children, and I killed our daughter and- But it was just a dream." He sighed, lying back down, "Isn't that crazy?"

The apple said nothing.