Fact about me, Brokenrussiancrawl:

My favorite number is seven; I have no idea why it just is and when I write the number I always put a line thru the middle of it.

How's the Weather

What does it mean when you feel happy, but sad at the same time? I wish I knew, because then, maybe life would be a little more simple. Nothing has gone right for me in a while and it makes me upset to just watch it all crumble around me. I mean my husband is a cheater that I'm not sure I can trust ever again, a woman is out to steel my job, family, everything. I lost my Uncle Mac's home in a fire that almost killed my daughter and I. The only thing that I only really have to look forward to is going home to my daughter and work.

It's sad, I mean I used to have everything that I could possibly ask for out of life: my dream job, a hot husband, a beautiful and healthy baby girl, a house with a white picket fence, everything. And now I get to stand back and watch as it slowly disappears, right before my eyes.

I hate the feeling that I get whenever I'm alone. I just feel alone and useless. I haven't really had anything to look forward to in a long time: I get up and go to work, deal with Lisa and Patrick, come home all stressed out and then hang out with Emma for a little while before I put her to bed and then I'm all alone again, no husband, no Uncle Mac, no baby to coddle, just no one; I'm all alone.

I want to be with Patrick again, I really do, I just don't know if I can trust him again; what if I take him back and he just cheats on me again? I wouldn't be able to take it. I think the thing I miss the most it the OLD Patrick, the one that was here when we first got married, the man who was always happy and cracking jokes. The one who was the person I looked forward to seeing everyday; it didn't matter what time I got to see him, if it was at work or at home, it always put a smile on my face.

But lately they have been forced and fake. I don't want to feel like that anymore, I just want to laugh and have fun again. Not have to pretend that everything is just fine. No I want to really be able to say 'I'm fine' and mean it.

Is that too much to ask for? If so, then why? I'm a nice person, I have been thru a lot but never once have I ever complained or tried to give up. No I pushed thru and made the best of it. That is more than most people do if they were in my situation.

"Robin?"

I spun at the sound of my name, and when I turned I was confronted with the face of none other than Sonny Corinthos. I gave him a smile and stepped closer to him, giving him a big hug which he returned. He was warm and he held me tight, and that was all I needed; I began to cry. Sobs raked my body and I was shaking and trembling in his embrace.

Sonny held me tighter than before and whispered nothings into my ears. He was trying to get me to calm down and I appreciated that but at the moment crying was what felt good to me. And so I kept crying.

When I finally stopped crying I became aware that we were now sitting on a bench that was on the street and sense it was the holidays, most people were at home or shopping. The people who did pass us were giving us weird looks but one look from Sonny and they would scurry off like nothing was happening. This made me want to laugh, but I didn't. I just sat there and cried some more. And still Sonny held me. Never once did he let me go or try to pull away. Both of his arms were wrapped around me like they were a made of iron. It was comforting, and soon after that thought entered my head did it begin to make me clam down enough to pull away and look at his face.

When I looked up into Sonny's eyes I saw real concern there for me. It was a friend, and that was something that I had not seen in such a long time. Before this moment I didn't know that I had been missing this friendly face, but I guess after you go from seeing him pretty much every day to only seeing my at least once a month you begin to miss it.

"I'm sorry," I said after I found my voice.

He smiled softly and said, "It was nothing."

I looked down at his shirt and saw big, fat and ugly tear stains on the front of his shirt, "I ruined your shirt." This time he laughed. I didn't find anything funny about this situation, but it got me to smile.

"Awe, there we go, that's the Robin I know." I blushed and looked away from him a little ashamed of what had just happened, but he put his finger under my chin and shook his head at me, "Do you remember how many times I have seen you cry? I mean after Stone died and you and Jason breaking up, I have seen you in a worst place then just this, trust me this is nothing compared to those moments."

"I should buy you a new one," I said. I mean what else am I supposed to do, just walk away after blubbering all over his Armani suit.

Again he smiled and shook his head at me, "I have others." I laughed and shook my head; he did have more, tons more, and here I was asking if I should buy him a new one. Yeah right. It got silent after that, not in that 'oh, how do I get away from the crying woman without hurting her feelings' way, no it was more of the 'where do I begin' silence.

This is it, this is the moment he asks me what is wrong in that 'you better tell me or else' voice of his. But instead he asked me about the weather.

I looked at him confused for about ten seconds before I asked, "The weather?" Come on, is that the only thing he could think of at this moment, he was usually quick on his feet but this was just pathetic.

He smiled a little say he explained, "I didn't think that you were ready to talk about Patrick and everything else that has been going on in your life so I started out with something a little nicer, you know? Solid ground." Aw, so he wasn't loosing his touch.

"Well, the weather is… horrible, completely horrible." It was our code from a long time ago, when one of us was upset we both would ask the other 'how was the weather' and up until that moment I had forgotten all about it; code for 'you doing okay?'

"That's what I thought." He nodded his head and stood up. I looked at him in shock wondering if he was really about to just walk away from me, but when he held out his hand and motioned for me to take it, I was a little more than nervous. I took the hand and when we began to walk down the street I felt a little giddy in that third grade 'I wonder what present I got' way.

He took me into the most expensive store in town and told me, "Pick some stuff."

And did I, I ran down isle after isle, picking things I didn't need but wanted; things that cost over more than my pay check. And during this whole time I laughed, I smiled, I even cackled once or twice and it felt good. I felt so good to just let loose and run around buying stupid things that I will never use and probably throw out.

Sonny stayed right behind me, laughing as I tried on dresses that were ugly and dresses that were pretty. I tried on business suits that I would never were and I tried on shoes that didn't match anything in my closet. Sonny's phone rang almost a hundred times but never once did he answer it. I think that part of the reason he didn't was because he saw the sadness in my eyes or my smile falter.

When I was done we went to Kelly's and had a cup of hot chocolate. I was happy for once in a long time; I had not felt like this in a while, sense after I got home from Africa. There was no nagging in the back of my head say 'Lisa is watching you' there was no Patrick to judge who I was hanging out with. No concerns about patients and lab results. It was just me and Sonny, and I was happy, I couldn't be more happy.

That was a lie, I probably could, but at this moment, I felt at ease. And for me that is a big deal.

There was an other silence and this time Sonny did ask me if I were okay and for a moment I wanted to lie and say that everything was just fine and dandy, but I knew that he wouldn't buy it so I told him the truth. From start to finish; it just poured out of me and I didn't know if I would ever be able to shut up.

Best thing about Sonny is that he always listened to me. Waited for me to finish what I had to say and filled in my blanks. It was great, to have someone in your life that was like that. With Sonny it just felt like he could read me like a book; a very open and detailed book that would make most men run and hide or duck for cover, but he stayed and read each and every single word.

"I have no idea how I can help you, except for getting rid of her. But I can say that what you are doing right now, going to work every day and holding your head high and not letting her push you around is more than what most people would do in your shoes. I'm here for you if you ever need anything. I will listen to you at four o'clock in the morning, call people and have them open their shops so that you could go shopping again, whatever you want. I don't care if you come to me and ask me if you could borrow my plane and take you half way across the world. I will do it for you, just say when."

I had tears in my eyes again and there was nothing I could do to stop them from streaming down my face, but the difference between these tears and the other tears what that these were tears of happiness instead of sadness.

"Thank you," I choked out after what seemed like an hour. Sonny dimpled at me and got up to give me a hug, and it was a hug that I happily stepped into. "You know, if I could I offer you all that I would but seeing as how I only make enough to support me and my daughter, I will just settle for saying that I am here for you too, and that I will take you out for an ice cream if you need one." Sonny laughed at this and said thanks.

"Glad to know that I always have ice cream waiting for me," he said as he pulled back for the hug.

"Well it does make everything better."

Sonny offered to drive me home but I told him that I still had to pick up my car which was now on the other side of town, and he drove me over to my car and followed me home.

As I shut the door I was thinking that I would feel alone again, maybe even worse than before, but as I waited for the sadness and the feeling of loneliness to settle in; it never happened.

A smile spread across my face as I noticed this, and then my phone vibrated; I pulled it out and noticed that it was a text message from Sonny, it said: 'how's the weather?' I smiled and reli

A smile spread across my face as I noticed this, and then my phone vibrated; I pulled it out and noticed that it was a text message from Sonny, it said: 'How's the weather?' I smiled and hit reply and typed: 'Good. Thank you.'