"You're just torturing yourself," he reminded her, his voice low because he knew he would scare her.
Sure enough, the brunette slowly spun around to face the boy in the doorway, offering him a broken smile. She simply nodded her head, knowing that his words were true, but not having the heart to admit them out loud.
He took a few steps into the room, watching as the tiny girl in front of him sat on the edge of the bed, her head dipping down to hide her tears. No more words left his lips as he sat down next to her. He wrapped a single arm around her shoulders allowing her to fall into his side. "We're going to get through this," his whispered down to the sobbing brunette in his arms. "I promise."
He could feel his own tears beginning to pool in his eyes, and did his best to will them away. Somehow, he had to be strong for her. This was hell for the both of them, but he knew what she was going through was a million times worse. She had lost so much more.
"Do you need help with anything?" Once more his words were soft, as he pulled back to look down at her. She allowed herself to sit up straight, and shook her head softly. A shaky hand rose to wipe at her tears and she once more offered him a broken smile.
"Alright, but I'll be downstairs if you need anything. We're leaving in ten," he informed her before pressing a kiss to the side of her head. He stood up and made his way over to the door, pausing briefly to look at her. There before him sat a girl that you used to shine brighter than all the stars in the sky. A girl that was going places nobody dared to dream of. And now all that was left was a broken girl, who's light had faded in the blink of an eye. Now sat before him a girl, with no dreams and no future to look forward to.
Once she was sure he could no longer see her, the brunette sucked in a shaky breath and pushed herself to her feet. She had to do this, if not for herself than for him. He'd want her to be there. She walked over to the dresser that sat in the corner of the room and smiled half-heartedly at the belongings placed on top of it. A few trophies from when he was younger, a picture of him and his dad, and a picture of them on their first official date as a couple.
The tears pooled in her eyes once more as she ran her fingers down the cool glass of their picture. How had she ended up in this place? How had she ended up losing the one she was supposed to spend forever with? He was supposed to be there for her. When they graduated, when she finally got into NYADA, and he was supposed to be there when she finally made it Broadway and wowed everyone with her talent.
Finn Hudson was supposed to always be there.
And now he was gone. Leaving behind a broken Rachel Berry, with nothing to live for.
She slowly moved away from the memories that were beginning to tear a hole in her heart and made her way towards the exit. She stopped momentarily as she reached the doorway and spun to look at the room one last time. The last of her tears pushed over the brink of her eyes, rolling down her cheeks silently. There were so many memories in his room. So many nights spent together just cuddling and discussing their future. A future she would never get to see.
Rachel managed to swallow the lump in he throat and blink away the remaining tears. "I love you," she whispered to the empty room before flicking off the light and walking away from the last shred of hope that it was all a bad dream.
She hated funerals. She understood that death was a part of the circle of life, but she never understood funerals. What was the point in wasting your time saying goodbye to someone that was already gone? Besides, if Rachel had her way she wouldn't be saying her last goodbye, she'd be jumping into the casket with him and never leaving his side.
"I'm so sorry for your loss."
"Oh, you poor girl."
"Are you okay? How are you holding up?"
"If you need anything, feel free to call."
It was all the same. No matter who cam up to her, they all offered the same sentences that she had heard over and over. All she wanted was for it to be over. To just crawl under the covers of whatever couch she'd be sleeping on that night, and let it all fade into the blackness of the night.
"Rachel I'm so sor-"
Rachel wouldn't even listen to all of Quinn's fake sympathy before she was out the door, running as fast as her legs would carry her. It was too much. Everyone constantly berating her with questions about how she was doing, and if she was holding up okay, it was all too much. She couldn't take anymore of it.
It wasn't until Rachel heard the faint calling of her last name that she finally stopped running, and turned around. It wasn't the person she had expected to come running after her. She had expected Kurt, or maybe even Noah to come running after her and tell her that she didn't have to go back in if she didn't want. But turning around to see Santana Lopez looking straight at her was a surprise.
"Look Berry, I get that this is hard for you. It's hard for all of us. But if you don't march your skinny ass back in there and tell Quinn Fabray to shove it, I'll smack the words out of you myself."
Despite the harsh words leaving the Latina's lips, Rachel found herself letting out a silent laugh. She blinked back the once against forming tears and nodded her head. As she took a few steps back towards Santana, Rachel stopped to offer her the first real smile of the week. "Thank you," she told her softly before heading back in the direction of the funeral home.
There they sat. All three caskets covered in a different array of flowers waiting to be lowered into the ground.
One by one each of McKinley's Glee Club members went up to at least one of the caskets, saying their final goodbyes. Losing Finn wasn't easy, on any of them. Glee Club wouldn't have taken off without him finally standing up and breaking the status quo.
Puck lost a best friend, Santana lost an adversary, Mike lost a team mate, Tina lost her first crush, Quinn lost her first love, Sam lost a cherished rival, Rory lost an inspiration, Brittany lost the only person that never questioned her, Artie lost his Halo partner, Mercedes lost her confidant, Blaine lost the brother he always wanted and Kurt lost the brother he wished he'd spent more time with.
But Rachel, Rachel lost her one true love and both her fathers, all in the same night.
As the caskets were lowered in their respected plots, Rachel felt the tears blind her vision once more. It was becoming a regular occurrence, only this time Kurt wasn't there to grab hold of her as her knees went weak. Stronger arms wrapped around her small frame to keep her vertical, and Rachel did her best to keep from crumbling.
She felt his hand make small circles along her back but it was to no avail. Everything was gone; her boyfriend, her fathers, even her talent. It was all ripped away from her in a second.
As Puck held onto the shaking brunette, his eyes wandered the cemetery for Santana, or even Kurt, someone that would be able to help him calm down Rachel. But as his eyes finally locked on Santana, he almost wondered if this really was a bad dream.
There she was, leaning half against a tree and half into Kurt, trying to shield the tears that looked as if they were rolling down her cheeks. He knew she had been upset about losing Finn, she wondered who she would use as a guinea pig for all her best jokes. But this was something different entirely.
His gaze followed hers, and Puck felt a twisting in his heart he hadn't expected. Dressed in a tiny seaform sweater and a silver bubble skirt, a little girl of only a year made her way to the first casket and pressed her hand against it. She was only there a moment or two before she was lifted off the ground, and scooped into the arms of the woman she called mommy.
His gaze had been focused so hard on the little girl, that Puck hadn't even felt Rachel move away from his touch. Her eyes were also locked in the direction his were, only her eyes were focused on the woman carrying the little girl. She heard footsteps behind her, and heard the faint sound of Santana's words that were laced with a bitterness she couldn't explain. "What is she doing here?"
Kurt responded that he had no idea, and he swore he hadn't invited her. Puck said nothing. And before any of them got the chance to question Rachel, she was walking in the direction of the pair. "Shelby?" Her voice was low, still barely above a whisper. "Why are you here?"