Title: Me, myself and I
Author: Girlygirl
Pairing/Rating: Danny/Lindsay (PG/PG-13)
Disclaimer: Okay, so this fic is based on Challenge #1 at DaisyDL: A Danny and Lindsay Challenge Community over at LiveJournal- this fic is also the winner of said challenge! The challenge was to use the Christina Aguilera song "Save me from myself" as part of a fic. Special thanks go out to my wonderful (and my first ever) beta Dstined4gr8ness who made this story readable and was very gentle in picking apart my mistakes. I own nothing, don't sue. Comment below, please.
Timeline: Anything up till and including the season 3 finale.
Summary: Lindsay knows that it can't be easy for Danny to always have to be strong for her; Lindsay knows that he shouldn't always have to be.
"We need others. We need others to love and we need to be loved by them. There is no doubt that without it, we too, like the infant left alone, would cease to grow, cease to develop, choose madness and even death."
-Leo F. Buscaglia
Me, myself and I
It's not so easy loving me
It was one night, three months into their relationship that Lindsay got the scare of her life. Yes, scarier then witnessing her friends get killed, and scarier then walking into a trap while carrying a grenade and scarier still then realizing that Danny was one of the officers involved in the hostage situation months ago. Because this time, this time it had nothing to do with her and her alone; this time it had to do with her and Danny and just how far they were willing to move their relationship forwards in such a short amount of time. So without breathing she watched the clock in the hall and waited for the small generic pregnancy test she'd picked up from a corner store on her way home to decide their future for them. And then she let out a breath, one line- thank god- and she cried herself to sleep that night. The next morning she broke up with Danny.
And when I'm about to fall
Somehow you're always waiting with
Your open arms to catch me
Even if Danny hadn't been Italian, Lindsay should have known that he'd still be as stubborn as a mule; being Italian only intensified that stubbornness- God help her. So when he showed up 15 minutes after her impromptu breakup call, it really shouldn't have surprised her that he managed to make it clear across town so quickly. Especially, when he knew New York like the back of his hand; especially, when it was Danny. She didn't even want to know how fast he'd been driving or how many laws he broke to get there. But the banging on her door couldn't have been from anyone else and he all but stumbled in when she pulled open the door and broke down at his feet instead of sending him away like she'd planned. Danny scooped her up and rocked her in the safety of his arms with the door wide open, until she calmed down. They'd talk about it tomorrow.
Don't ask me why I'm crying
In the morning Lindsay found him asleep on his stomach on the couch, with one leg dragging on the floor and his arm supporting his head. She bit her lip to stop herself from breaking down again, Danny didn't deserve someone as messed up and unstable as her- Danny deserved better.
"Quit staring Montana. It's only fair if I get to stare back, you know?" Lindsay let out a strangled half laugh, half sob and Danny was at her side in a flash. But he didn't push her for anything, despite the tears in her eyes. "By the way, your couch sucks." She sank onto said couch as she watched him open and close cupboards in her kitchen.
"Sorry," she mumbled, but Danny just grinning at her from over the coffee maker,
"Don't be. I'd take your couch over nothing any day- nothing is not really an option for me." Lindsay blushed, rose from the couch and moved until she was leaning against the kitchen counter directly across from him; she cleared her throat and took in a breath of air.
"Two days ago I," Danny waited quietly for her to continue, but she stopped when he handed her a cup of coffee. Two days ago, before she'd taken the test, she would have refused the coffee and just as quickly as he'd slipped the mug into her hands she set it on the counter and moved to do the same to his.
"I know the lab coffee isn't that good but I swear I don't make it- my coffee is great Montana- scout's honor!" She glided towards him and planted her feet in front of him to hold her ground, to give her the courage she desperately needed to get this all out.
"Two days ago I thought that I may have been pregnant," And Danny had never been more thankful then for the fact that Lindsay had taken away his coffee cup before she'd told him that, because he was sure that one of them dropping something unexpected was all they needed right now.
I know it's hard, it's hard
But you've broken all my walls
You've been my strength, so strong
"…so you broke up with me?" It was the first thing he sputtered out after it all sank in- the first thing he could think to say- and Lindsay ducked her head in shame. Danny felt like a monster.
"Damn it, Lindsay I'm sorry." He stepped back, literally and figuratively.
"I'm not good for you Danny, I'm a mess and I really don't think that that is something you need." She brought dark brown eyes to look at him and he could feel his heart shatter.
"We're all allowed to be a mess sometimes Montana," gently he brushed a piece of unruly hair out of her face, and she tensed at his touch but soon melted into it; he dared a step closer. "But that doesn't mean you get to push me away, okay?" he pulled her against his chest, let her listen as his heartbeat returned to normal and kissed the top of her head.
"I was scared; I'm sorry," but she smiled against his chest. Once again Danny Messer had proved her wrong because she'd been afraid that he wouldn't have stepped up. She knew, no matter how much she denied it, she'd already let Danny in and it was much too late to block him out now. Somehow he'd managed what nobody else really ever had; he'd managed to penetrate the walls she kept up to protect herself.
"Listen to me you," He pulled her away from his chest and bent to be eye level with her, "just to be clear; if you had been pregnant it would have been great news because I want to have kids with you Lindsay. Maybe not right now, but if you had been pregnant I would have been the happiest man in the world." Lindsay kissed him.
Danny savored the kiss, the feel of her mouth against his and the way she tasted and the perfect fit of her body along the contours of his own. Lindsay smiled against his lips, this perfect man that she didn't deserve, and decided then and there that the only pushing she'd be doing with him was pushing onto her tiptoes to pull him closer.
And don't ask me why I love you
End
-Girlygirl