Hey again (: I haven't written a fic like this before. It is in a guys POV for one, and that is definitely a first for me. Then it is a one-sided romance, which is again a first for me, and it is also an iCarly fic that isn't Seddie. So I hope you enjoy this, and it isn't that horrible.
Everyone knew that it wouldn't end well. Everyone except from me. Normally I would be the smart one: the one to find out the problem and the one to fix it. But I guess love does that to you. I didn't notice just how bad it was, which was one of the reasons it hurt so much.
Somehow I thought that it would end well. Carly would realise that I was right for her, and we'd go out, get married, have children. Sure, it seemed crazy to everyone else, but to me I could only hope. I don't know how this happened, because normally I was what could be described as 'level headed'. Or that was what my mom always used to say. Maybe she only said that because I actually agreed to the tick baths.
I knew things like this (your feelings being returned in the same way) only happened in the movies I hated to watch, or in fantasies. Carly was like some sort of addictive drug (not that I knew what drugs were like or anything because a). I wasn't stupid enough and b). My mom).
She made me feel so many things. Happiness overall, but along with this came excitement, exhilaration, delight and thousands of other emotions that I couldn't put into words. I was only sixteen, but if felt like I was already in love. Who knew, maybe I was in love. It certainly felt like it. I suppose if Carly had told me outright then it wouldn't have been so bad. If she said to me that she didn't like me I would just nod, pick up the pieces and move on. But she didn't do that.
She stayed friends with me – made me fall deeper and deeper. I can't blame her for that. She was to kind hearted to reject me. Instead Sam did the rejecting for her. Carly didn't say Sam was right or wrong, she just told her to be quiet. I suppose that this gave me some false hope.
She knew I liked her, but every time I even tried to ask her out she either switched the conversation abruptly or Sam appeared out of nowhere. I gave up after a while, to shy to even try any more, but if anything my feelings got worse. I hated it. I hated the way Sam would mock me at every opportunity, how Carly was always to nice to me, how she talked about Jake. But most of all I hated the fact that I wasn't invisible to her.
It didn't make sense to a lot of people – but it was perfectly clear to me. Maybe if Carly didn't know me, if we weren't close friends, if she ignored me in the hallways, then it would have been a little easier. Knowing that she liked me as a friend, but nothing more (never anything more) was even worse then knowing she didn't know who I was. Maybe it was different for some people, but not for me.
It was a mistake. Falling in love with a girl like Carly. My best friend. She deserved someone much better then me. I couldn't give her anything compared to Jake. I wasn't that good looking or funny, I didn't play guitar or sing, and I didn't make her laugh every time I saw her. All I really had was a decent sized brain, and when it came to girls they didn't go for that. They went for people like Jake, the popular musical guy. Not people like me, Freddie Benson. The geek.
I didn't make mistakes. But the one mistake I did make was the worst one imaginable.
So, thoughts? Was my Freddie to OOC? Was it to depressing? The ending to abrupt? I was a little worried that I didn't capture him right, or that it was a little too sad for me, but whatever you think, please review (: