Aiko
If someone asks me how I"m feeling, I'll smile brightly and say I'm fine, or I'm okay, or a little tired. Never bad, angry, nauseous, depressed, livid. I'll think about ways to tear you apart, how best to make you feel awful, confused, happy, reassured, guilty. I'll compile information, watching and waiting. Then make you into my puppet, the moment you hurt me. I don't forgive easily, I can hold a grudge for years if you hurt or anger me enough. You only get one chance for me to trust you, and that chance decides whether you're my property, or my prey.
Akane
People are fun to watch, to write about, to learn about. I love to chat with my friends, to shop for clothes that show off my figure, and help my friends find their own confidence. I love being able to listen to their problems and give advice to help fix them. I know how to put a different spin on bad situations. I will be my friends greatest & most loyal confidant, reassuring them when they have worries about their parents, promising to tell someone trustworthy if they feel that they can't but know they need help. This is my greatest joy, and this love is now a weakness. The people I thought I could trust have turned it against me, knowing that I could never stand up for myself.
Aiko
If I don't let you close, you can't hurt me. You can't leave me alone in the dark. It won't hurt as much when you realise that I'm too broken, that I'm worthless. If I can be the best, no one will leave me. If I always follow the rules, you'll acknowledge me. If I'm an amazing athlete and keep getting trophies, you won't hate me. If I can become a famous singer, you'll help me produce my music. If I just be the best, Daddy will see me and call me his daughter. Then people will stop going away, stop breaking promises, taking what is MINE.
Akane
If I dress like the ugly girls, in a too-large sweatshirt, in baggy sweatpants every day, if i wear my ratty tennis shoes and don't tell mom that they're too small already, if I wear tank-tops instead of the bras I know I need, no one will bother me anymore. No more being called bitch or slut, no more being groped in assemblies, no more being leered at by the drunk homeless people at the bus stop. If i don't pay as much attention to my hair, people won't touch it without permission anymore. If I pretend that I hate people talking to me and ignore people who want to be my friend, I won't be accused of seducing other girls' boyfriends. If I pretend that I'm mean and violent, i won't get my friends teased for hanging out with me. If I'm not pretty, not cheerful, not nice, barely civil, I won't be attacked anymore. I won't be called names, I won't lose any more friends. I won't make people unhappy anymore.
If I keep on doing this, I'll stay okay, I'll stay untouched, I won't be hurt anymore. I won't let myself be hurt anymore. I will endure, and everything will be okay.