You're [Not] Immortal
A (Satanic) Sadistic (Tail?) Tale of a (Suicidal Slut) "Goffick" Freak of an (Emomancer) Vampire
Hello. This is Ad speaking. I suppose you could consider this an "Author's Note", so I will refer to them as such in the future. Have you heard of My Immortal? Surely you have if you are here now.
Anyway, this is a fanfiction of a "fanfiction"... in this case, I use the term fanfiction extremely loosely, because this story, and it's original, have nearly nonexistent ties to the original story - AKA Harry Potter.
My friend - Olive - and I have decided that we wanted to re-write it. Just for funsies. So, I grabbed the odd chapters, and she - hopefully - will pick up the even. If not, then it's just you and me.
I felt that I owed this much to the fabulous J. K. Rowling for "Tara" - or "XXXbloodyrists666XXX" - completely destroying her works.
So, without further ado, please read and review.
Chapter One:
Hello.
My name is Tara Gilesbie, but my stripper name is Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way.
I am a vampire.
Haha. Just kidding. The teeth are implants and I just drink tomato juice. No, just kidding. I really am a vampire. My teeth are perfectly, pearly white and my long, beautiful, ebony-black hair – that's how I got my name, because my parental units knew I was going to be a Mary Sue before I was even born – has purple streaks and red tips – which, by the way, are totally natural. It flows unnecessarily seductively down to my mid-back, and matches my icy blue eyes which shine like limpid tears. A lot of people tell me I look like Amy Lee. It's not true, but that's okay, because I'm still amazing, even with my vampiric, pale, white skin.
I am also a witch.
For serious, this time. I go to a school of magic called Hogwarts – which is not in England, but it's close – where I am a seventh year student. Did I mention I am seventeen and totally smoking hot enough to turn gay men straight – or bi – and emotionless, grown men into pedophiles?
I am also a goth – as if you couldn't tell – so, I wear mostly black. I love Hot Topic with a burning passion – that is all that I can manage to exude from my icy, vampiric heart – and I buy all of my clothes from there. For example, today I was wearing – since now you have to care – a black corset with matching lace around it and a black leather miniskirt – which needs to be oiled every two hours so my legs don't stick – over pink fishnet stockings and black combat boots. I added the unnecessary touches of black lipstick, white foundation – since, apparently, I'm not pale enough as it is – black eyeliner, and red eye shadow. Aren't I gorgeous?
I decided to take a walk around outside Hogwarts. It was snowing and raining – which could be known as sleeting – so no sun was showing. This fact made me very happy, since I am a vampire. A lot of plastic, overly colourful preps stared at me as I passed them.
This made me upset, so I showed them my middle finger – I know now that I had just mistaken it with my thumb…
"Hey, Ebony!" a voice shouted at me. I looked up, and saw that someone had suddenly appeared by me that I totally had not noticed before now. It was – insert an over abundance of dramatic periods here – Draco Malfoy!
"What's up, Draco?" I asked, my voice reverberating like smooth, chocolate velvet.
"Nothing," he responded, shyly.
I opened my mouth to continue this assuredly interesting conversation, but I heard my friends – which, yes, I do have – call me, and I had to go away.
I guess I am too embarrassed to be seen with him...
A/N: Hello to all! I do hope you have thoroughly enjoyed this nonsense. May we all wish Olive the best of luck for Chapter Two. I promise, I truly love you all.
kthnxbai.