Disclaimer: Saito, Okita, the Shinsengumi, and the song..are not mine.
*sigh*
A/N: My first fanfic in a while, and my first songfic ever. Slight shounen ai. ^^ Saito/Okita coupling. Probably sort of OOC. X.x; Song is "January Friend" by the GooGoo Dolls. ^^; Enjoy and review if you want. ^^
January Friend
Reach
For higher ground
Okita Soushi smiled, content to watch the fighting figure of the man he loved. Even if the Third Shinsengumi captain didn't return his sentiments.he could always just watch. He chuckled quietly. As if he would ever muster up enough courage to even try to tell Saito how he felt. The boyish young man was brave in battle of course - he hadn't gotten to the position of First Captain by hiding out in the shadows. But love.. It wasn't a battle, at least not in the physical sense. It was surely a mental battle, not one to be won by strength or power.but it sure as hell took courage, which Okita seemed to lack every time he came within 10 feet of Saito. Time would tell, he was sure, sooner or later.
Now, however, it seemed as though time would tell everything sooner. The tightness in his chest as of late hadn't been his imagination. The cough he'd developed wasn't a passing cold.no.after Hijikata-san had urged him to the doctor the previous day, he'd learned what it was. Kekkaku.Tuberculosis.
Yes, it appeared that his "later" had been decreased to, according to the doctor, a year and a half. Two years if he was lucky. He shuddered; whether it was from the cold January breeze that had made it's way across his neck or from the heavy thoughts of death, not even he could be sure.
About the way you look,
The way you scream out loud
Saito finished his final practice routine, trying to ignore the numbness in his fingers, the snow dusting his hair and haori. He gracefully sheathed his sword, hand lingering absentmindedly on the hilt. With a coy smirk, he turned; surely enough, there was Okita, standing on the sidelines with a radiant grin on his face. Just like he always was.
"Cold?" the smaller man asked, his joyful smile traveling through the frozen air on his voice. Saito smirked. He strode over to where the First Captain was standing and affectionately ruffled his hair. Okita yelped.
"Saa, Saito-san!! Your hands are so cold!" he cried, grabbing the taller man's hand and clasping it within his own.
To Okita's slight surprise, Saito didn't pull it away. He merely commented, "Are they? I didn't notice after they went numb." His narrow golden eye shone with amusement as he looked at his youthful friend. Okita blushed and unconsciously squeezed Saito's icy hand.
Saito smirked amusedly and grabbed one of the hands clasped over his own. "Come on. You don't want to end up as cold as I am." He said, pulling Okita towards the door.
Mine
Just like the last time
Okita allowed himself to be pulled into the Shinsengumi headquarters, holding firmly onto Saito's hand.
They passed countless rooms on their trip down the main hall, but Saito stopped short in front of the kitchen. Okita looked at him. ".Ano.. Saito-san?"
The Miburo's amber eyes were searching the kitchen. "Soba." he growled quietly, "I can smell it."
Okita smiled. "You have the nose of a bloodhound, Saito-san. But perhaps you've simply been eating too much soba?"
Saito tore his eyes away from the kitchen to stare blankly at his companion. "You can never have too much soba." A smile flashed across his face. "Think before you speak next time, Okita."
Okita merely shook his head.
It's all the same to me
[He] said
The passing of half-an-hour found the pair seated on the floor beside the small table in the kitchen, each with a bowl of plain hot soba in front of them.
Saito was wolfing (ha ha ha) his soba down, as Okita sat in silence, eating his calmly and merely reveling in the pleasure of watching Saito eat. A pleasure he knew he'd have for the rest of his days.
"Saa, Saito-san." he began nervously, "Th-there's something. something I need to tell you."
Saito cocked an eyebrow at Okita's sudden seriousness.
Okita looked down, fists clenched in his lap. The thoughts running through his head weren't helping his weak resolve. 'What if he isn't like that? What if he doesn't feel the same way? What.what if.you scare him away?'
He failed to choke back a sob. Saito looked at him, genuinely worried. "Okita?" He watched his friend's frail frame shake with anguish; he reached over and put a hand on his shoulder. "Okita, what's the matter?"
Okita looked up into his face, tears framing the innocent blue eyes. "Sai.sai.saito.." He closed his eyes and bit his lip, hanging his head again. "I."
Saito looked at him, concern written on his narrow features. "Okita, what is it? Are you alright?"
Okita opened his eyes again, and in a burst of courage threw his arms around Saito's neck. He could feel Okita's tears dripping onto his neck as the smaller man leaned towards him and whispered in his ear, "Sai.to.I.I love you." before collapsing onto his shoulder, sobs shaking through his slight form again.
Let's pretend
My January friend
I'm wantin' you again
I wanna touch you
Every single heart that beats pretend
Saito's eyes widened and he paused, his features portraying first shock, then confusion, and finally a smile. He wrapped his arms around Okita's trembling form and held him. "Okita.Okita." He tilted his head towards Okita's, pressed his mouth against his ear and whispered, "Soushi.you don't have to cry anymore. I.I love you too."
My January friend
I'm wantin you again
I wanna touch you
Every single heart that beats
Okita picked his head up. He stared wide-eyed at Saito. "You.you.. Really mean it?"
Saito smiled and leaned down. "Yeah." he said simply. And so, before Okita could even really process this new wave of information, Saito had taken his face in his hands and pressed a sweet, chaste kiss upon his lips. Okita melted into it. Everything just felt '.so right.'
Cry
Don't cry out loud
You gotta bear your cross
But never dream too loud
The breath caught in his throat and he started coughing.as though the tuberculosis was mocking him. '"He may own your heart.but I. I have your lungs.'"
Saito looked at him, startled. "Soushi? Yo-you okay?"
He coughed harder, then managed to gasp a breath. Panting slightly, he tried to steady the dizzy feeling that had come over him. His throat felt raw; it hurt to breathe.He wiped tears from his eyes and saw Saito looking at him.
"Are you alright? Are you coming down with something?" he asked, placing a hand on Okita's cheek.
And you're tied
Tied to the next time
You realize
Your crimes
Okita looked into the beautiful amber eyes, placed his hand over Saito's.the taller man was full of nothing but love and concern for him, and yet.
"No, I'm fine. Nothing to worry about." he said, smiling gently, hiding the guilt that was already beginning to chip away at his soul.
Saito observed him a moment, and Okita could tell that he wasn't really convinced; however, Saito simply pulled the two together, Okita's back to his chest, and nuzzled his cheek gently. "I don't know what I'd do without you." he said, before planting a gentle kiss onto his cheek.
Time stood still
Monday morning yeah.
Showed me what I had to see
It's not the way I thought it [w]ould be
Oh yeah
As Okita reveled in the feeling of safety and contentedness he felt in Saito's arms, he couldn't help but think about how glad he was that things had turned out for the better. Maybe, he reasoned, some kind deity had taken pity on his misfortune as of late and smiled upon him. Maybe he was just lucky. Maybe it was meant to be. He smiled, maybe he just thought too much.
He supposed opposites really did attract. He was a thinker; Saito rarely stopped to think before doing something. Small and light; tall and solidly built.the list went on and on.
A cruel voice in the back of his mind added to the list.
'Sick and dying.healthy and doomed to live on long after you're gone.' it echoed, sending its painfully truthful words through his mind.
You're my January friend
You're my January friend
You're my January friend
And every heart that beats pretend
Okita turned and buried his head into the soft fabric of Saito's gi, as if he were trying to block out the sound. The truth hurt. Saito instinctively pulled him closer, close enough for Okita to hear the steady reassurance of Saito's heartbeat through the solid anchor of his chest.
You're my January friend
You're my January friend
You're my January friend
And every heart that beats tonight's pretend
After a brief moment of concentration, Okita felt his own heartbeat, and made a private oath that they would be together until the day one or both of their hearts stopped. and perhaps then some.
The End.
A/N: And.I proceed to once again suck at endings! =D;; Oh well. ^^ This
site needs more Saito/Okita!
A/N: My first fanfic in a while, and my first songfic ever. Slight shounen ai. ^^ Saito/Okita coupling. Probably sort of OOC. X.x; Song is "January Friend" by the GooGoo Dolls. ^^; Enjoy and review if you want. ^^
January Friend
Reach
For higher ground
Okita Soushi smiled, content to watch the fighting figure of the man he loved. Even if the Third Shinsengumi captain didn't return his sentiments.he could always just watch. He chuckled quietly. As if he would ever muster up enough courage to even try to tell Saito how he felt. The boyish young man was brave in battle of course - he hadn't gotten to the position of First Captain by hiding out in the shadows. But love.. It wasn't a battle, at least not in the physical sense. It was surely a mental battle, not one to be won by strength or power.but it sure as hell took courage, which Okita seemed to lack every time he came within 10 feet of Saito. Time would tell, he was sure, sooner or later.
Now, however, it seemed as though time would tell everything sooner. The tightness in his chest as of late hadn't been his imagination. The cough he'd developed wasn't a passing cold.no.after Hijikata-san had urged him to the doctor the previous day, he'd learned what it was. Kekkaku.Tuberculosis.
Yes, it appeared that his "later" had been decreased to, according to the doctor, a year and a half. Two years if he was lucky. He shuddered; whether it was from the cold January breeze that had made it's way across his neck or from the heavy thoughts of death, not even he could be sure.
About the way you look,
The way you scream out loud
Saito finished his final practice routine, trying to ignore the numbness in his fingers, the snow dusting his hair and haori. He gracefully sheathed his sword, hand lingering absentmindedly on the hilt. With a coy smirk, he turned; surely enough, there was Okita, standing on the sidelines with a radiant grin on his face. Just like he always was.
"Cold?" the smaller man asked, his joyful smile traveling through the frozen air on his voice. Saito smirked. He strode over to where the First Captain was standing and affectionately ruffled his hair. Okita yelped.
"Saa, Saito-san!! Your hands are so cold!" he cried, grabbing the taller man's hand and clasping it within his own.
To Okita's slight surprise, Saito didn't pull it away. He merely commented, "Are they? I didn't notice after they went numb." His narrow golden eye shone with amusement as he looked at his youthful friend. Okita blushed and unconsciously squeezed Saito's icy hand.
Saito smirked amusedly and grabbed one of the hands clasped over his own. "Come on. You don't want to end up as cold as I am." He said, pulling Okita towards the door.
Mine
Just like the last time
Okita allowed himself to be pulled into the Shinsengumi headquarters, holding firmly onto Saito's hand.
They passed countless rooms on their trip down the main hall, but Saito stopped short in front of the kitchen. Okita looked at him. ".Ano.. Saito-san?"
The Miburo's amber eyes were searching the kitchen. "Soba." he growled quietly, "I can smell it."
Okita smiled. "You have the nose of a bloodhound, Saito-san. But perhaps you've simply been eating too much soba?"
Saito tore his eyes away from the kitchen to stare blankly at his companion. "You can never have too much soba." A smile flashed across his face. "Think before you speak next time, Okita."
Okita merely shook his head.
It's all the same to me
[He] said
The passing of half-an-hour found the pair seated on the floor beside the small table in the kitchen, each with a bowl of plain hot soba in front of them.
Saito was wolfing (ha ha ha) his soba down, as Okita sat in silence, eating his calmly and merely reveling in the pleasure of watching Saito eat. A pleasure he knew he'd have for the rest of his days.
"Saa, Saito-san." he began nervously, "Th-there's something. something I need to tell you."
Saito cocked an eyebrow at Okita's sudden seriousness.
Okita looked down, fists clenched in his lap. The thoughts running through his head weren't helping his weak resolve. 'What if he isn't like that? What if he doesn't feel the same way? What.what if.you scare him away?'
He failed to choke back a sob. Saito looked at him, genuinely worried. "Okita?" He watched his friend's frail frame shake with anguish; he reached over and put a hand on his shoulder. "Okita, what's the matter?"
Okita looked up into his face, tears framing the innocent blue eyes. "Sai.sai.saito.." He closed his eyes and bit his lip, hanging his head again. "I."
Saito looked at him, concern written on his narrow features. "Okita, what is it? Are you alright?"
Okita opened his eyes again, and in a burst of courage threw his arms around Saito's neck. He could feel Okita's tears dripping onto his neck as the smaller man leaned towards him and whispered in his ear, "Sai.to.I.I love you." before collapsing onto his shoulder, sobs shaking through his slight form again.
Let's pretend
My January friend
I'm wantin' you again
I wanna touch you
Every single heart that beats pretend
Saito's eyes widened and he paused, his features portraying first shock, then confusion, and finally a smile. He wrapped his arms around Okita's trembling form and held him. "Okita.Okita." He tilted his head towards Okita's, pressed his mouth against his ear and whispered, "Soushi.you don't have to cry anymore. I.I love you too."
My January friend
I'm wantin you again
I wanna touch you
Every single heart that beats
Okita picked his head up. He stared wide-eyed at Saito. "You.you.. Really mean it?"
Saito smiled and leaned down. "Yeah." he said simply. And so, before Okita could even really process this new wave of information, Saito had taken his face in his hands and pressed a sweet, chaste kiss upon his lips. Okita melted into it. Everything just felt '.so right.'
Cry
Don't cry out loud
You gotta bear your cross
But never dream too loud
The breath caught in his throat and he started coughing.as though the tuberculosis was mocking him. '"He may own your heart.but I. I have your lungs.'"
Saito looked at him, startled. "Soushi? Yo-you okay?"
He coughed harder, then managed to gasp a breath. Panting slightly, he tried to steady the dizzy feeling that had come over him. His throat felt raw; it hurt to breathe.He wiped tears from his eyes and saw Saito looking at him.
"Are you alright? Are you coming down with something?" he asked, placing a hand on Okita's cheek.
And you're tied
Tied to the next time
You realize
Your crimes
Okita looked into the beautiful amber eyes, placed his hand over Saito's.the taller man was full of nothing but love and concern for him, and yet.
"No, I'm fine. Nothing to worry about." he said, smiling gently, hiding the guilt that was already beginning to chip away at his soul.
Saito observed him a moment, and Okita could tell that he wasn't really convinced; however, Saito simply pulled the two together, Okita's back to his chest, and nuzzled his cheek gently. "I don't know what I'd do without you." he said, before planting a gentle kiss onto his cheek.
Time stood still
Monday morning yeah.
Showed me what I had to see
It's not the way I thought it [w]ould be
Oh yeah
As Okita reveled in the feeling of safety and contentedness he felt in Saito's arms, he couldn't help but think about how glad he was that things had turned out for the better. Maybe, he reasoned, some kind deity had taken pity on his misfortune as of late and smiled upon him. Maybe he was just lucky. Maybe it was meant to be. He smiled, maybe he just thought too much.
He supposed opposites really did attract. He was a thinker; Saito rarely stopped to think before doing something. Small and light; tall and solidly built.the list went on and on.
A cruel voice in the back of his mind added to the list.
'Sick and dying.healthy and doomed to live on long after you're gone.' it echoed, sending its painfully truthful words through his mind.
You're my January friend
You're my January friend
You're my January friend
And every heart that beats pretend
Okita turned and buried his head into the soft fabric of Saito's gi, as if he were trying to block out the sound. The truth hurt. Saito instinctively pulled him closer, close enough for Okita to hear the steady reassurance of Saito's heartbeat through the solid anchor of his chest.
You're my January friend
You're my January friend
You're my January friend
And every heart that beats tonight's pretend
After a brief moment of concentration, Okita felt his own heartbeat, and made a private oath that they would be together until the day one or both of their hearts stopped. and perhaps then some.
The End.
A/N: And.I proceed to once again suck at endings! =D;; Oh well. ^^ This
site needs more Saito/Okita!