~VioletCherry342~
Rachel grumbled and rubbed her eyes before lifting her iPhone off the bedside table and clicking the 'Dismiss' key, fluffing up her hair and yawning quietly. Her nose and feet were cold, like always in the morning, and her shoulders stiff. She sat up and stretched, lifting her arms above her head before sighing and dropping his arms. That's when she noticed her dad was standing at the door.
"Daddy?" She inquired, her head tilting, her eyes narrowing in question.
Drew smiled, holding a large manilla envelope in his hands. "Geoff brought the mail in this morning.."
Rachel, too tired to put two and two together, blinked a few times. "Okay, and?"
"Well, you see," Drew said, turning the envelope so he could read the return label, "this lovely little letter is addressed to my beautiful daughter and it's from this lovely little place called the 'American Academy for Dramatic Arts', located in New York, which is also called..."
"NYADA?" Rachel chirped, suddenly awake, leaping out from under her sheets and bolting over to her father, snatching the note out of his hands and gawking at it with an excited expression. "Oh my gosh."
Drew chuckled.
Rachel squirmed, making a move to grasp the flap and rip it open before she froze, her mouth falling open in a gasp. "Kurt!"
"Hm?" Drew asked, tilting his head.
"I can't look yet," She said. "If I got mine in, Kurt's is probably with him, too. We sent it on the same day, remember?"
"Oooh, yes," He said, nodding fondly.
"We applied together, we'll be approached together." She nodded once, determined that both NYADA envelopes would hold good news.
Drew grinned. "Get dressed. Before Geoff gets all parent-y."
Rachel giggled and closed the door behind her dad, looking at the envelope with equal amounts of lust and fear.
She'd survive.
/\/\/\/\/\
Kurt trotted his way up the stairs from him and Finn's room, walking behind his dad and pouring himself a cup of coffee, absently plopping the cream and sugar in it without so much as blinking. He was so used to this morning routine it was almost sad. He's almost positive he's done some sleep-coffee-ing before.
Burt stood, shuffling though the daily mail. Finn, Carole, himself, Kurt, repeatedly. Bill, bill, bill, bill, bill. The rest were college acceptance letters. Ohio State had accepted Finn (even if it wasn't on a football scholarship), as had University of Colorado. Kurt had been accepted to New York university, Ohio State, Colorado State University (which he only applied to to spite Finn), and Michigan State. Burt was quite proud of these facts, as was Carole, but both boys were flat out nervous wrecks. NYADA hadn't replied yet (Neither had Rachel's, though) and Finn wasn't going to be able to play football, he knew. It was heartbreaking to see the boys receive so much attention and not realize how amazing it was, just because they were blinded by need.
Kurt's phone buzzed, and he answered it with a sleepy, " 'Ello?"
"Kurt?" Rachel squeaked, her voice raised an octave higher than normal like it did when she was excited.
"Hey, Rach," He replied, yawning softly. "What's up?"
"You won't believe what happened!"
"You got some fashion sense?"
She scoffed, but it didn't sound nearly as huffy as when Kurt playfully poked at her apparel. "I don't need fashion sense, Kurt, I am doing quite well, thank you. No, listen. Guess what I got in the mail today?"
Kurt froze, his eyes shooting to the pile of letters his dad was flipping through. Oh, look, Dad's home, Kurt registered. "Morning, Dad.."
"Morning, kiddo," Burt slurred, clearly exhausted.
"Hey, Mr. Hummel!" Rachel tweeted over the phone.
Burt snorted. "Hey, Rachel.."
Kurt kissed his dad's cheek, looking over his shoulder at the mail. There. The manila envelope at the top of his stack. He swallowed; to be honest he hadn't expected a response at all. He only sent in his application after Blaine had worded everything over and over, also after Blaine had drove him to the post office and practically forced him to press it in the slot. He just didn't want anymore rejection. It just...hurt too much. But there it was. It might be his acceptance letter, it might be the key to his future...He moved to make a grab at it before Finn, grace in action, walked into the table and knocked Kurt's mail off.
"Finn!" Kurt scolded.
"Oh, dear," Rachel said. She knew that tone - Finn was in trouble.
"What?" Finn asked. "Chill, Kurt, I didn't mean to.."
Kurt grumbled, extending the hand that wasn't holding the phone with his palm up so Finn would hand it over.
"What's this?" Finn said, handing Kurt all the mail he didn't want and holding the large, orange envelope. "Hey! It's NYADA."
Burt lifted a brow and Kurt snarled. "Yes, could I have it please?"
"Sure." Finn was obviously in a playful mood, unfortunately, because he raised the letter just above Kurt's head and shook it, jerking it away before Kurt could snatch it.
"Finn!" Kurt whined, ignoring the snort Burt emitted and stomping around the table, growling when Finn jumped away. "Rachel. Sweetie. I'm gonna put you on hold for a sec, okay?"
"Okay?" Rachel said, sitting down on her bed, hearing the scuffle of a phone hitting a counter, and then a 'Ow! OW! Kurt, stop that! OWW!', a lot of banging and thuds before there was a huff from Kurt as he picked up the phone again. "Hi again."
"What did you do?"
"Kicked, clawed, bit," Kurt said and Rachel could almost see him shrug. In the background Rachel heard Finn exclaim, 'MOM! Kurt bit me!'
"Did not," Kurt defended. "Excuse me." Kurt scampered out of the room, Burt's laugh and Carole's cooing behind him. Rachel blinked.
"Anyhow," Rachel said.
"I can't believe this," Kurt said breathily like nothing had just happened. He held the envelope, hands shaking so hard he could barely make out the NYADA label on the top left corner. "This is amazing."
"I know," Rachel replied, just as breathy, heart pounding. Quiet randomly, she squealed. Loudly. Kurt pulled the phone away from his ear, wincing.
"I'm scared to open it," He admitted.
"Me too," Rachel agreed. "How about I come to your house tonight? We'll do it together."
"Yeah," Kurt said, smiling a little. "Yeah, that sounds good."
"See you at school?"
"Yep."
"Okay," Rachel said, breathing out, "Bye, Kurt."
"Bye, Rachel."
Kurt laid the letter down on his bed, staring at it for a few minutes, before double checking his hair for the fifth time and scampering out the door.
It would be okay.
/\/\/\/\/\
Kurt was a bundle of nerves by the time they were leaving school. Rachel had packed an overnight bag, and she was driven by Geoff that morning, so she drove home with Kurt, seeing as Finn had football practice. They both tumbled down the stairs, and collapsed on Kurt's bed. Kurt hugged the letter to his chest as Rachel did the same with hers. Kurt was better at hiding panic that Rachel, he noted, when he saw how glazed over her eyes were.
"Hey," Kurt said softly, grabbing one of her hands. "Even if we don't get in, it's not the end of the world."
They both knew it was a lie, and they both knew he was just trying to calm her down, and they both knew they would be heartbroken if they were turned down. But at least they'd have a friend there.
"But we are both getting in," Rachel stated clearly. "We're both going to NYADA, and we're both going to live in New York for the next four years. And when we graduate with top honors we're going to LA, and we will both burst our way into Hollywood. We'll be the next... The next Angelina Jolie and Adam Lambert! Only we'll still be friends. We'll be the best of friends for the rest of our lives.. We'll be the ones we can both really trust, because once your famous you know you never really can trust anyone, but us?" She paused once she realized she was rambling. "We'll be worldwide."
Kurt's eyes watered a little, and he hugged Rachel tightly, closing his eyes and mentally begging for the first time in his life to whatever God there might be..He didn't care who It was, but he needed some sort of thing to beg to.
"Ready?" Rachel asked once the hug broke, wiping her cheeks swiftly and sniffing once before putting her hands daintily at the top of the envelope.
Kurt mirrored her action, nodded once, and breathed out, "Ready."
Rachel tore hers open and read over it, mumbling what it said without really knowing it.
"Dear Miss Berry,
"Thank you for applying to New York Academy for Dramatic Arts. We have read and reviewed your application with a hard eye, and would like to speak with you further.
We have sent an anonymous scout to Regionals, which we are aware your choir group, 'New Directions', shall be competing. We'll see you there and contact you after further studies.
Again, we thank you for your application,
The Board,
New York Academy for Dramatic Arts
120 Madison Avenue
New York, NY, 10016"
Rachel blinked, her dark eyes fluttering quickly, then she stammered, "They sent a talent scout. Oh, dear sweet mother of God, they sent a talent scout!"
Kurt didn't respond, and Rachel looked up then. His blue gray eyes were dashing back and forth across the page, his face blank in some sort of . . . shock? Rachel craned her neck and tried to read upside down, but only saw 'Dear Mister Hummel' before Kurt fell back against the headboard.
"Kurt?" Rachel whispered, trying to remind him he wasn't alone in the room and she was sitting on needles.
Kurt's now stilled eyes shot up then, heaving in a breath and releasing it, revealing he had been holding his breath. He swallowed. "I..."
/\/\/\/\/\
Finn groaned, rubbing his eyes as he stumbled up the stairs to his house, closing the door behind him. It was earlier than when he usually got home, but he didn't feel the need to hear Azimio comment about how he'd like to have wild, angry sex with Brit and Santana. He was sick of those comments, all of them, but what could he do? Protecting her was harder than protecting Kurt, mainly because she still didn't want to accept the help.
Not that Kurt was all that dependent either, but hey. Finn could use the "I'll tell your dad" card with him.
Whatever. Finn needed to stop thinking or he was going to give himself a stroke. He tiptoed down the stairs, thinking that perhaps he would become in-tune with his inner-ninja and Kurt would be too distracted to notice or care he was walking by, stinking up the room.
"Ready?" Came the chirp of the all too familiar voice, wafting up from Kurt's partially opened door.
"Ready," Came his step brother, sounding as though he was hypnotized. Finn furrowed his brows, sneaking downstairs and stopping at the door. He could see Kurt and Rachel, both sitting cross legged on the bed, holding those envelopes. Suddenly, Finn felt like an intruder. They both had only been plotting and dreaming about those letters for months, now, both of them talking about it non-stop. Finn had suffered through it with Rachel, but had kind of brushed Kurt off completely. He just now noticed Kurt hadn't talked to him about NYADA much anymore, and he never told his dad about those things, and Finn was sure he still wasn't quite comfortably enough with Carole to confide in her yet. Finn's lips turned down at the corners at the realization.
As Rachel read her letter, Finn watched Kurt. After putting a top on his pride that his girlfriend's dreams were coming true, he saw his brother just freeze. His face devoid of emotion. Crap, what he would give to be Blaine right now. Blaine could read Kurt's expressions like an open book, it was more than slightly disturbing, but damn would it have been helpful right now. He looked so void, as if he were gone, his eyes blank and empty, as if he couldn't understand what he was reading.
"Kurt?" Rachel whispered. Kurt jumped, coming out of some sort of trance. He blinked a few times, his chest inflating and deflating a few times before he breathed out, "I..."
"Read it out," Rachel encouraged after a moment's pause. She patted Kurt's knee, her eyes still showing that she believed a 'Yes' was on the other side of that piece of paper.
Kurt looked like Blaine had told him to drop dead at those words but he nodded anyways, looking down at the paper and reading quietly.
"Dear Mr. Hummel,
"First and foremost we would like to thank you for applying to the New York Academy for Dramatic Arts. It is always an honor to be considered.
However, despite your stunning application, we have simply are not prepared to welcome you to N.Y.A.D.A. We apologize for any inconvienence, and thank you again for considering us.
With the best of wishes, and dearest luck hoped for you,
The Board,
New York Academy for Dramatic Arts
120 Madison Ave
New York, NY. 10016"
Kurt closed his eyes, letting the note fall onto the bed, as both Finn and Rachel's hearts shot straight into the floor.
"Oh, Kurt," Rachel said.
" 'Stunning application'," Kurt repeated, his voice higher than usual and shaking like a leaf. "It was blank. It was completely blank. They didn't even read it once they saw how much I haven't done."
"Kurt, I'm so sorry," Rachel cried.
Kurt shook his head, turning his face away, obviously trying to regain some composure. "F-Forget it.." He said, wiping his eyes with the back of his wrist, sniffing once before forcing the saddest smile ever. "Congratulations.."
Rachel, however, was an obvious mess. Whereas Kurt would probably sob himself to sleep for the next six months - albeit silently, but... - Rachel was melting right in front of him. She through her arms around his neck, knocking him back into the headboard, hugging him so tight her hands began to turn white. "I-I'll throw it."
"What?" Kurt asked, not sure he heard her right, considering her voice was muffled by his jacket and her stifled sobs.
"I'll throw it," She said again, sitting back on her ankles. "I'll miss Regionals. I won't even show up. Th-They'll never accept me if they can't hear me sing! I'll even delete my old mySpace account. Remove every video off Facebook. I'll make it better, Kurt, I promise."
"No!" Kurt shrieked, grabbing at Rachel's arm when she tried to stand up. "You can't.."
"Why not?" Rachel whined, tears rolling down her blotchy cheeks. "Kurt, I can't imagine even going to NYADA without you..."
She couldn't deny her heart broke all over again when Kurt's eyes fogged up at the mere word 'NYADA'.
"You have to go," He whispered brokenly. "Y-You...You have to go and..and have fun for the both of us...Have fun for me."
And with those last four words, Kurt lost his strength. The whole situation slammed into him like a freight train, and his back arched as he buried his face in his hands, crying uncontrollably. Rachel was immediately at his side again, hugging him so tight she was sure she was bruising him. He didn't know what the hell just happened. He hated crying in front of people. The last time he full blown sobbed like this was when his mom died, and he hadn't sobbed publicly since. It was all too much. And here he was, his head (forced) in Rachel Berry's, his previous enemy turned frienemy turned best friend, lap, bawling like a small child.
And as inappropriate as it was to be crying like this to anyone but his pillow and teddybear, he deserved to cry. His whole world, the life he'd planned out, the dreams he had since he could speak, all just went up in flames. It was over. He wasn't good enough. He would never be good enough. He knew it. He was going to work at Sonic Burger his whole life. Ooh, or maybe he'd hit big time and work for Walmart. Or own an Office Max franchise. He suddenly wished when David had said he'd kill him, he'd meant it.
"Stop it!" Rachel scolded suddenly, and Kurt realized he was blabbing all of this out loud. "Don't even think that, Kurt."
Kurt said nothing. He wasn't sure how he'd been speaking in the first place. His throat was on fire, his chest was aching, his nose was clogging up and his eyes were burning. How he even managed to get an understandable syllable past his lips was beyond him.
But Rachel heard every heartbroken word, as did Finn. Finn wasn't really surprised when he felt a tear trace his lips, but he wiped it away quickly, none the less. Again, he realized his brother didn't even know he was there, and decided it was high time for him to check out.
Finn slowly slugged his way back up the stairs, leaving his broken brother and crushed girlfriend behind.
/\/\/\/\/\
"Hello?" Came the preppy voice of Blaine Anderson over Rachel's iPhone. She'd found the number on Kurt's own iPhone, and dialed it without thinking. Kurt had lifted himself up and drug himself into his bathroom after his little 'Bitch-Fest-Tissy-Fit', as he called it, and was vigorously working on looking human again.
"Blaine?" Rachel asked, her voice still hoarse from tears. She wasn't sure why she called him, really. Perhaps it was the Karofsky-Should've-Made-Good-On comment. She knew he didn't mean Karofsky himself, considering they spoke at least once a week since that whole Scandals brigade (which she was VERY MUCH AGAINST), but that didn't stop her from looking around the room for box cutters, old razors, or even a collectable knife Finn might keep. "It's Rachel Berry."
"Hey, Rach," He said, his voice lowering a little at the sound of sadness seeping through the phone. He didn't bother asking how she knew his number, instead inquiring, "Everything okay?"
"No," She said honestly. "Everything is far from okay."
"What's going on?" He asked.
"It's..." She swallowed. Was it her place to tell him? She knew he'd be a nervous wreck if she told him she couldn't say, and, considering his equally dramatic mind which she respected very much, would probably assume the worst. Had Kurt been hurt? Was he okay? Was it his dad? Did a jock hurt him? Did he go straight? All the worst possibilities. No. He needed to know. "It's Kurt."
"Kurt?" Blaine asked, suddenly sounding much more aware of the situation. "What about Kurt? Is he okay?"
"No," Rachel said. Just because he needed to know didn't mean it was her place to tell him. "H-He's not hurt, but...He really needs a friend right now."
"Where are you guys?" Blaine asked, the dull sound of a car starting creating white noise in the background.
"His house," Rachel said. "I think the door is unlocked, so just come in."
"I'll be there in ten minutes," Blaine said, muttering a quick goodbye before hanging up.
Rachel sighed, staring at the disconnected phone in her hands for a few minutes. Kurt had yet to come out of the bathroom yet, the water of the sink still running. Rachel pressed her ear against the door, checking to make sure he was still breathing in there, the sound of bottles opening and closing and he steady sniffling alerting her he wasn't cutting himself. She nodded to herself, opening her contacts again and texting the girls.
'Know we haven't spoken in a while, due to Trouble Tones, boyfriends or simply changed interests. But we're all still friends, right? Well, someone could really use a friend right now. I'd appreciate if all of you could put your differences aside for just tonight, and please come be here for Kurt. His place. If you don't show, I understand, but it would be really nice of you to be here.'
Sent to: Mercedes Jones, Santana L, Brittany P, Quinn F, and Tina CC
Rachel then laid down on Kurt's bed and closed her eyes. She would not cry. No. She had too much to be excited and happy for to cry. Yes, she'd be alone, and yes, she wasn't going to have nearly as much fun as she'd dreamed seeing how Kurt wouldn't be there with her, but she wouldn't think of these things. She had to be there for Kurt right now. He needed her more than ever.
He also needed the black haired ex-Warbler, who stomped down the stairs into his room with a look of pure horror on his face.
"What happened? Where is he?" He demanded. Rachel held a finger to her lips and hisses a Shh! at him. He looked at her desperately, and she opened her mouth to try to say something, but nothing came out. Blaine heard the water running and his head shot to the bathroom. The little glimmer of light was all it took and he began to march over. By the time Rachel hissed "Blaine!" it was too late. He'd stopped and looked down, bending over to pick up the piece of paper he'd stepped on. His eyes widened and his face fell with realization when he saw the NYADA marker on the page. He looked at Rachel, mouthed, "No..."
Rachel swallowed hard and just nodded in response.
Blaine covered his mouth, his heart just exploding in his chest. He couldn't think of anything to say, but when the door open, he just through himself into Kurt's arms, hugging him tight. Kurt jumped, startled by this random new guest, but accepted the embrace once he realized who it was. Blaine. God, he hadn't thought about Blaine. His charming, perfect boyfriend who deserved so much more than some washed-up wannabe star. Would he even want him know, that he wasn't good enough?
"What are you doing here?" Kurt asked dryly, tipsy from all the crying he'd done. He slid right into Blaine's arms, letting the younger boy lead him to his bed, lying down. Rachel winced, in the background.
"Rachel called me," Blaine said, petting Kurt's hair. "I'm so sorry, baby."
Kurt looked at Rachel, his back to Blaine now that he was lain down. "By the way, could you keep this quiet?"
"She didn't tell me," Blaine said before Rachel could cringe. "I stepped on your letter.."
Kurt just nodded against his pillow and Blaine felt so much worse now. Kurt hadn't even wanted to send in his application after he lost the run for president. He'd been sick to his stomach for days after, repeatedly telling Blaine he didn't want to put up with anymore rejection, telling him he'd have more luck finding something else to do with his life if he didn't have NYADA to worry about. Blaine knew it was all a lie, but seeing Kurt like this, now, curled up in a ball with tear stains on his just washed face made Blaine wish he'd left him alone. He'd broken his baby, all because he wanted Kurt to get his happily ever after so badly...and now it was all over. He'd tore his boyfriends heart to shreds, and for nothing...
The weird thing was when Santana and Brittany came down the stairs.
"A'ight, who died?" Santana asked, and Rachel found herself wondering how she would feel if someone had died.
"My self esteem," Kurt said, his tone dead. "My life."
"Oh, Kurt, don't be silly," Brittany said. "If your life died your wouldn't be talking."
Blaine shot her a death glare but Kurt actually smiled a little. Brittany's obliviousness was a nice break.
"Kurt?" Came Mercedes' gentle tone, which Kurt hadn't heard for a while. He looked up, saw her with Tina and Quinn in tow. Quinn's hair was longer again, and a small, sad smile graced her lips for the first time in months. Kurt looked around the room again, his brows furrowing. "What's going on?"
"Rachel said you needed a friend," Mercedes said, and Rachel looked down, mentally begging 'Don't throw something at me, don't throw something at me...'
"And we're all your friends, Kurt," Tina said.
"Not to mention, when's the last time we had a girls night?" Quinn asked. She might not have raised Beth, despite how badly she wanted to, but she had the mom 'I-Know-Something-Is-Really-Really-Wrong-Here' thing going for her.
Kurt wiped his eyes again and looked at Rachel and gave her a tiny smile of appreciation. Rachel beamed.
"I'll get the popcorn."
/\/\/\/\/\
Kurt didn't tell anyone else about what had happened. He just snuggled into Blaine's chest, nibbled some popcorn and even ate a little ice cream, watching reruns of Mister Ed and I Dream Of Genie and a Disney movie or two. Santana, always the savior, had sprung a bottle of Kaluha over the ice cream (and everyone would admit that's why they wanted some in the first place) and now Kurt was pleasantly sleepy. He closed his eyes, Brittany already unconsciously snuggling his leg, Rachel using his and Blaine's tangled feet as a pillow, Santana leaning on the foot of the bed and chatting with Mercedes about God knows what and Tina and Quinn snoring on Finn's bed.
Blaine didn't fall asleep for a while. He just sat, watched the movies, listened to Santana and Mercedes bicker, and pet Kurt's soft hair. Eventually, he laid his head on that hair, his cheek comforted by the silkiness, and fell into a deep sleep.
That would probably be the last good sleep Kurt had in a while. And if he were being honest? It was much longer than six months...
Okay, so, I got depressing, and needed to write this. The fact Kurt lost the election killed me, sooo... I kill you all with tears! sadlol. Anyway.
Please review! Off to sleep now, shall probably cry...byes! x3
PS: Have not seen yesterday's episode, so idk if they are talking, or what. Either way, review through your tears, would you? Thanksies!