A/N - So this is one of those stories that popped into my mind while I was supposed to be writing my Nottingham tale, and it just would not leave me alone. Blame MidKnight Rider, whose recently published story "One of the Guys" served as inspiration for this piece. It's kind of a tag to her tag of In the Line of Duty, though with a different tone. One of my few attempts to write about the beginning of Sam and Jack's relationship. Enjoy!
Close to the Line
He isn't sure why he's decided to walk her to her door after their team night out on the town. He figures some part of him knows that, although she seems better since her experience with Jolinar, she's still struggling. He must be right, too, because the moment she opens the door to her dark house, she bursts into tears.
Without thinking, he immediately embraces her. Somewhere, in the back of his mind, he acknowledges that he feels something for her, something more than just physical attraction. It occurs to him that it's the same feeling he had when the snake had cried out to him, using her voice. But he pulls away from the memory. He doesn't want to examine that too closely.
They stand there like that for a long time; she sobs softly with her face buried in his chest, while he holds her to him, with one hand on her back and the other threaded through her hair. He knows it's intimate, but it takes awhile before he recognizes it as inappropriate. After all, regardless of whatever else there may be between them, she's a beautiful woman, and the sensation of her warm body pressed to his is doing all sorts of things to him, things that really, really shouldn't be happening between a commanding officer and his subordinate.
He pulls back and releases his hold on her just before things get embarrassing. Even though he really doesn't want to, he knows he needs to leave. Now.
"I have to go," he says gently.
She sniffs and wipes the tears from under her eyes, embarrassed that she broke down like that in front of him. "Of course. I'm sorry." She tries to smile at him, to lighten the mood, but her cheeks are still damp. "You must have better things to do..."
"No. No, it's nothing like that." He says that a little too quickly, because now he's struggling with how to explain his suddenly pressing need to leave. "I just...I have to go, Carter." It's the best he can come up with, but it's clearly not good enough because he can tell the moment she realizes exactly why he has to go.
Her eyes widen before she glances down at her feet, then up at him again through lowered lashes. "Are you sure?" she asks quietly, and her words shoot straight to his groin.
Jesus, he thinks. She knows what he's thinking, what will happen if he stays, and she still doesn't want him to leave. In fact, she's asked him to stay. He considers her offer for a moment. Damn, he's tempted, but he realizes that, even if it didn't mean the potential for court martial and the end of SG-1, he'd be taking advantage of her in the worst possible way.
She's hurting still and probably doesn't want to be alone. She doesn't really want him. Does she? He certainly doesn't deserve her. He's old and damaged, and she's shiny and new, and he won't tarnish her. No matter how badly he wants her, no matter how long it's been - and it's been awhile - he won't do that to her.
The very fact that he cares enough to let her go should concern him, but somehow it doesn't.
"Yeah. I'm sure," he finally replies, his voice a little rougher than he intended. He clears his throat. "You want me to call Daniel and Teal'c?"
"No, sir. I'll be fine." He gives her hand a squeeze before heading down the walk. She leans on the doorframe and watches him go. He's almost to his truck before she calls after him. "Colonel?" He turns to look at her. "Thank you."
He's not sure what, exactly, she's thanking him for. Maybe it's for not giving up on her when the snake had her. Maybe it's for comforting her afterwards. And maybe it's for having the strength to walk away before they ruin whatever it is that's starting to develop between them. Maybe all three. In the end, he decides it doesn't matter.
He smiles at her just before crawling into the cab of his truck. "Any time, Carter."
The End
