Title: Freedom
Series: Sex, Love and Honesty
Author: Rachel
Email: Edgechick816@aol.com
Category: WWE
Disclaimer: Everyone belongs to the WWE and themselves
Distribution: Ask please
Rating: PG13 (parts will vary)
Spoilers: Set in October/November 2003
Notes: First part in a diva series
Notes 2: Each part will be about a different Diva from their POV, as such, each part will be posted to the appropriate list(s)
Summary: A diva leaves her a part of her life behind.
Feedback: Is loved and much appreciated :)
You are the reason I am the way I am, and I hate you for it. Funny to think about how you came in and swept me off my feet. I was the queen of your world, or at least it was that way for a while. I lived the fantasy life. You lavished me constantly with flowers and little surprised dinners out, romancing me with the best of them. I should have known something was up back then, but I was too caught up in how perfect you were, because that's what you seemed to be, everything I ever wanted in a boyfriend, a girl's dream, you knew that didn't you? You knew how to feed my hopes and fantasies and used them against me. Your plan so perfectly thought out I would have seen it, if I hadn't been so in love with you.
You said you loved me too, and I believed it, but then things started to change. The flowers stopped coming, the dinners out became few and far between. Those are things someone expects to fade away, but wasn't expected to fade was you. You became hard and unfeeling, controlling even. It was your way or the highway, and like a lovefool, I played along, just like you knew I would. If I didn't, you would get angry and yell, I didn't want that, back when I cared about how you felt, for the record; I don't anymore.
All I wanted was a fucking say, whether it was about where we ordered take out from, or what sexual position we used, I just wanted my opinion to be heard, but you couldn't give me that, so I snapped. The first thing to go was that blonde hair you loved so much, you said it made me look sweet and innocent, so I dyed it brown and told management to deal with it, and they did, by putting me in heel angle. I really have to thank them for that, it helped me take out some of the aggression I was feeling, and served to piss you off even more.
Then come the roster spilt, we should have ended it right there, but you had to say the words that all people say when trying to save a relationship that's already dead: Let move in together. You persuaded me to do it with your lies of trying to improve and how things would get better, it only got worse.
Not being on the same show meant you could flirt with other women whenever you felt like it. I realized then that you never loved me, it was just settling for you. You always wanted Trish, or Lita, or Dawn, but you couldn't have the girl you wanted, so you kept me around. I know you hit on Dawn on a weekly basis, I'm glad she has the sense to turn you down, and because she does, you come back to me, the fat girl who couldn't get another date if she tried, that is what you think, isn't it? Am I right? It doesn't matter anymore. If being with you saved one of them from going through what I'm going through, then the last three years of my life weren't a total waste. I take comfort in that.
Now, I'm done with you, my bags are packed and I'll be gone before you get home. It saves your breath and my time; you've wasted enough of my time already. I don't want you to talk me into staying, my mind's made up and there is no point in trying to change it. I've taken everything worth remembering about this shit relationship, the rest I've either broken or left for you to deal with.
I hear the truck honking its horn, signalling that all my stuff has been loaded on. I take my house key off my keychain and place it on the table next to the note I've left you. Maybe I shouldn't hate you for making me this way; I'm smarter and stronger because of you. I have to right to love and be loved, I know this now and I won't take anything less. So maybe, in some sick way, you've helped me.
I take one last look around the room, my eyes falling on a picture of us from our first anniversary, right when things started to go bad. I walk over to it and pick it, reading the scripture on it. With a roll of my eyes I let it fall the ground, the sound of the glass shattering the most satisfying sound I've heard in longest time. Walking out the door I smile, maybe my first real smile in two years.
I shut the door behind me as I leave the house, finally able to close the book on this chapter of my life. Before I get into my car I look back at the house, my hell, for the final time. I lost the man I loved in there, and I lost a bit of myself as well, but now is my journey to rebuild what is missing and be better for it. I shake my head as I climb into my car.
"Matt Hardy and Molly Holly forever? What a fucking joke."
A/N: My first try at first person writing, let me know what you think.
Series: Sex, Love and Honesty
Author: Rachel
Email: Edgechick816@aol.com
Category: WWE
Disclaimer: Everyone belongs to the WWE and themselves
Distribution: Ask please
Rating: PG13 (parts will vary)
Spoilers: Set in October/November 2003
Notes: First part in a diva series
Notes 2: Each part will be about a different Diva from their POV, as such, each part will be posted to the appropriate list(s)
Summary: A diva leaves her a part of her life behind.
Feedback: Is loved and much appreciated :)
You are the reason I am the way I am, and I hate you for it. Funny to think about how you came in and swept me off my feet. I was the queen of your world, or at least it was that way for a while. I lived the fantasy life. You lavished me constantly with flowers and little surprised dinners out, romancing me with the best of them. I should have known something was up back then, but I was too caught up in how perfect you were, because that's what you seemed to be, everything I ever wanted in a boyfriend, a girl's dream, you knew that didn't you? You knew how to feed my hopes and fantasies and used them against me. Your plan so perfectly thought out I would have seen it, if I hadn't been so in love with you.
You said you loved me too, and I believed it, but then things started to change. The flowers stopped coming, the dinners out became few and far between. Those are things someone expects to fade away, but wasn't expected to fade was you. You became hard and unfeeling, controlling even. It was your way or the highway, and like a lovefool, I played along, just like you knew I would. If I didn't, you would get angry and yell, I didn't want that, back when I cared about how you felt, for the record; I don't anymore.
All I wanted was a fucking say, whether it was about where we ordered take out from, or what sexual position we used, I just wanted my opinion to be heard, but you couldn't give me that, so I snapped. The first thing to go was that blonde hair you loved so much, you said it made me look sweet and innocent, so I dyed it brown and told management to deal with it, and they did, by putting me in heel angle. I really have to thank them for that, it helped me take out some of the aggression I was feeling, and served to piss you off even more.
Then come the roster spilt, we should have ended it right there, but you had to say the words that all people say when trying to save a relationship that's already dead: Let move in together. You persuaded me to do it with your lies of trying to improve and how things would get better, it only got worse.
Not being on the same show meant you could flirt with other women whenever you felt like it. I realized then that you never loved me, it was just settling for you. You always wanted Trish, or Lita, or Dawn, but you couldn't have the girl you wanted, so you kept me around. I know you hit on Dawn on a weekly basis, I'm glad she has the sense to turn you down, and because she does, you come back to me, the fat girl who couldn't get another date if she tried, that is what you think, isn't it? Am I right? It doesn't matter anymore. If being with you saved one of them from going through what I'm going through, then the last three years of my life weren't a total waste. I take comfort in that.
Now, I'm done with you, my bags are packed and I'll be gone before you get home. It saves your breath and my time; you've wasted enough of my time already. I don't want you to talk me into staying, my mind's made up and there is no point in trying to change it. I've taken everything worth remembering about this shit relationship, the rest I've either broken or left for you to deal with.
I hear the truck honking its horn, signalling that all my stuff has been loaded on. I take my house key off my keychain and place it on the table next to the note I've left you. Maybe I shouldn't hate you for making me this way; I'm smarter and stronger because of you. I have to right to love and be loved, I know this now and I won't take anything less. So maybe, in some sick way, you've helped me.
I take one last look around the room, my eyes falling on a picture of us from our first anniversary, right when things started to go bad. I walk over to it and pick it, reading the scripture on it. With a roll of my eyes I let it fall the ground, the sound of the glass shattering the most satisfying sound I've heard in longest time. Walking out the door I smile, maybe my first real smile in two years.
I shut the door behind me as I leave the house, finally able to close the book on this chapter of my life. Before I get into my car I look back at the house, my hell, for the final time. I lost the man I loved in there, and I lost a bit of myself as well, but now is my journey to rebuild what is missing and be better for it. I shake my head as I climb into my car.
"Matt Hardy and Molly Holly forever? What a fucking joke."
A/N: My first try at first person writing, let me know what you think.