Disclaimer : I do not own Shigatsuwa Kimi no Uso and its characters
Starless Night
The dry air.
The smell of dust.
I knew I had to play… I got to play… I promised to… but I couldn't help but breakdown with my face in my palms when I sat at the piano, remembering her. The susurration from the crowd was there but the noise wasn't registered by me at all. A sudden, yet familiar sneeze broke me out of my daze and made me realize the number of people watching– no, waiting for me to start and take them to my world with my music as the focal point.
After realizing this, I started playing, the notes flowing and resonating in me, my transitioning into the zone has never been this smooth. As I continued playing the ballad, I remember the people watching me and how each of their presence in my life affected my music: The sound that my mother gave me, the sound my best friend noticed for me, the sound my closest friend found for me, the sound my rivals forged in competition with me, the sound my junior made with me, the sound my tutor and aunt brought back to me and the sound of the girl that resonates in me. These are the people I play for now, especially her. I can't stop myself from hoping against hope that my music will reach her even though she's not in this halland listening to my music but facing a battle of her own. I also find myself wishing that she will be able to play with me again even though in the past, my wishes, hopes and feelingsregarding this matter rarely came true.
I was so immersed in my playing that when I saw snow falling with the sky all around me instead of the stars of the concert hall above me, I was reminded of my latest visit when she thanked me. At the time, I didn't know what for but before I could ponder about that, she suddenly appeared, as though summoned by the memory of her voice in my ear, wearing the dress I thought she would wear at the public recital she bailed. Seeing her so real in front of me with her violin positioned to play, I felt my heart break because seeing her here was like she had already passed away and was here to keep her promise of one last duet. Her violin was as happy and passionate as always and it made me sad that I would never be able to hear her play live ever again. However, meeting her gaze during the climax and recognising that look of determination to give the audience her best, enabledme to let myself be swept away by her playing style. But suddenly, the sky in the background seemed to turn to night and she was playing her violin softer and softer until she came to a stop. My eyes widen in disbelief as the love of my life started to disappear right in front of me. My thoughts were screaming in my head, "Don't go! Pester me again. Call me for no reason again. I don't care if I'm only a secondary character in your life. Please don't go! Don't leave me behind without you!" And she disintegrated into swirl of colours with tears in her eyes before bursting into light, blinding me from everything else.
When I realised that I was looking at the lights on the ceiling of the concert hall, I put the remainder of my frustrations, weariness and promises into my last notes as I said goodbye to her.
Everything after my performance passed in a blur. The next time I was aware of my surroundings, I was in front of the reception counter at the hospital. The nurse behind the counter, one whom I saw quite often due to my past and current visits, looked at me with pity before telling me where Kaori's parents currently were. I thanked her before rushing to that part of the hospital. When I arrived there, I slowed to a stop,shocked by the sight of Mr. and Mrs. Mizayano crying and taking comfort in each other outside Kaori's operation room. No, this can't be real. Feeling all the adrenaline my body run out, I realised that I was still holding on to a small silver of hope that Kaori did make it through her surgery, that my playing did indeed awaken my subconscious fears, not that they had actually came true, that I had truly just played my last duet with her. Slumping down to the floor, I curled into the foetal position, unable to move and not having the courage to share my misery with the Mizayanoes due to the fear of having to hear the words that confirmed that the love of my life, had indeed, passed away. Looking at the hospital's ceiling, I noticed that the lights here,surrounded with white ceiling and walls to better reflect it, is surprisingly dimmer than those in the concert hall. Ah, I thought to myself, my world is in monotone once again …
On the walk home that night, I couldn't help but compare the nights spent under this same sky with my friends to the starless one currently above me as I continued the walk all by myself.
A/N: Hey guys. I can't I finally posted my first fanfic ever. This plot has been in my brain for a while so I do have a rough outline which I hope will help me upload constantly. Please R&R as I would like to know what am i doing right as well as how I can improve my writing. Hope you have a wonderful day and thanks a bunch for reading this fic.