Disclaimer: I don't own anything at all. Do with that information what you will.
A/N: This is not to be taken seriously. This is for my amusement and caused by procrastination and massive writers block that keeps me from writing my own stories. If you decide to flame me, go ahead. I shall laugh and join in and flame my own story. I'm serious, this story will be intentionally horrible (although I really can't purposely spell things wrong so if there is a spelling or grammar mistake that really is a mistake). If you are looking for a real quality fanfiction to waste your time with (I'm not insulting fanfiction at all, I'm just stating that I usually waste all my time reading it when I should be doing something else) then look elsewhere.
Warnings: A massive case of Mary-Sue, clichés and canon characters so out of character they can are no longer recognizable other than by their names.
That is all.
Harry Potter sat in an empty compartment on the Hogwarts Express. Many people would not believe it but he changed a lot over the summer. He brushed off his tight black jeans and fiddled with the piercing on his lip.
He could not believe Dumblesnore for lying to him. The old man had been stealing his money to pay for his endless supplies of sherbet lemons. Harry was mad, but he still came to Hogwarts so he could graduate. Voldemort died unexpectedly over the summer so he didn't have to worry about that anymore.
Just as he was thinking about the more important things in his life, like how he was going to get back at the old coot, the door to his compartment slid open. He thought for a moment that it might be Hermione or Ron and was completely prepared to tell the two of them to fuck off. He didn't want to hear Hermione's nagging or Ron complaining about how famous he wasn't. He then remembered they couldn't come sit with him until after they did their prefect rounds.
Instead of those two coming in, a girl he had never seen before came in. She had long black hair with blue streaks pulled back in a ponytail, a heart-shaped face, pale skin that seemed to glow, and a piercing amber gaze. Her white dress accented her hourglass figure perfectly, yet contrasted nicely with her fishnet stockings and black and blue boots. She wore a black and blue pendant between her perfect breasts.
Harry stared.
"Hi, my name is Alexandra Maria Yuki Lupin. Can I sit here, all of the other compartments are full." Her voice washed over him.
Harry swallowed. "Sure."