Werewolf's Printing Press
A short play that chronicles the adventures of a lone actress who wanders off from rehearsal and stumbles into…
The Backstage Zone
A Play in One Act
Cast
Alice- Our protagonist, an actress finding herself immersed in the world of stage crew. She is a nervous, excitable person with a hidden passion.
Alix- The leader of a rag-tag band of stage crew. She is charismatic and passionate, and shows herself as a leader.
Toph- The most caring and loving of the stage crew. She is slow to action, but happy to console and comfort others.
Suz- A very passionate member of stage crew who guards herself and her friends closely, but displays her soft side when needed
Juri- An amicable stage crew member who tags along with the rest, helping out in any way she can but very much trying to fit in.
Red- The most fashion-conscious of the stage crew, Red dresses herself well and enjoys keeping things in order and up to snuff.
10/7/13
The Backstage Zone
(Pre-recording comes on over the speakers and in an ominous voice whiles The Twilight Zone's theme plays:)
Narrator: There is a fifth dimension beyond that which is known to underclassmen. It is a dimension as vast as the costume shop and as timeless as black clothing. It is the middle ground between lighting and sound, between ambition and angst, and it lies between the pit of a freshman's fears and the summit of senioritus. This is a dimension of improvisation. It is an area which we call the Backstage Zone.
(Light steadily rises (5-sec fade in) to half-light. Onstage we see various objects: barrels, chairs, tables, trees, etc. They are set up in a haphazard organization like a furniture warehouse. We slightly hear the sound of animated conversation from stage left. Alice enters upstage left…timidly.)
Alice: H-hello? Is anyone there? (sound of a bottle falling over) I was hoping someone could help me. You see, I left my script back here and- (sound of a bottle rolling) Hello? (slightly frightened) Um, I…I should be getting back to rehearsal- (turning to go)
Alix: (over speakers) No, it's here.
Alice: (whips around, trying not to seem startled, failing) Oh, well…thank you, I think….Who are you?
Alix: I'm Alix, who the Tardis are you?
Alice: (trying to be friendly despite not being able to see the owner of the voice) Oh, I'm Alice. See that's funny, we have the same name almost.
Alix: Nah, we don't.
Alice: (slightly put off) Well, I was just at rehearsal…and I was hoping someone might have seen my script…I wasn't on for the first act you see, but I will be soon and-
Alix: Hey, look, ditch them.
Alice: (a little startled, not able to comprehend ever "ditching" rehearsal) What?
Alix: You heard me, ditch them. Come hang out with us.
Alice: (bewildered) Who's…us?
(At this moment five figures in black jump out from behind trees, barrels, etc. Alice emits a small shriek. Their motions are very rapid and they all adopt mock-casual poses on or around the scenery. Alix is reclining on a table at center in a "Paint me like one of your French girls" pose.)
Alix, Toph, Red, Suz, Juri: (together) Stage crew.
(Alice struggles for words, her mouth opening and closing like a fish. Alix seizes the opportunity and leaps up from the table, sauntering over towards Alice. Alix takes her by the hand and pulls her to the center of the group. Lights gradually move up to mostly full as this motion is carried out. Alice is also still too surprised to resist.)
Alix: This is the stage crew. (Gesturing around) Ladies, introduce yourselves. (Alix seats herself on a barrel and watches with approval as introductions are made.)
Juri: Pleased to meetcha, I'm Juri. (Noticing Alice's feet.) Those real leather boots?
Alice: (relieved to talk about clothes) No, I got them at Forever 21. I don't believe in leather.
Juri: Oh, huh. (Shares a look with the other girls. Alice is confused by this.)
Red: (shrugging off the awkward silence) Well, I'm Red, (shakes Alice's hand vigorously), you need anything black, or red, come to me. (Displays her black-with-red-accents attire with a flourish, which stands in contrast to Alice's white, pink, and light blue.)
Alice: I, thank you-
Suz: (interrupting, sternly) Look, I like you, but you don't need to cozy up to us. (Alice physically retracts, trying to make herself smaller.) You just come in here and act all strung up with your Forever 21 boots and your floozy script and- (seeing the look of shock/fear on Alice's face)-ah, I'm just kiddin', you're alright. Name's Suz. (Slaps Alice a little too hard on the back.)
Toph: (Getting between Alice and Suz) Hey, are you okay? (Puts an arm around Alice's neck and draws her away slightly, as if to say something just to her.) Don't worry about Suz, she's a big bluff. A real softie once you get to know her, but great at poker. I'm Toph by the way.
Alice: (Warming to Toph's kindness) Alice…I'm Alice. (Beat)
(Alix lightly vaults off the barrel and comes over to Alice/Toph and puts her arm around Alice, stealing her away in a not-so-subtle manner.)
Alix: So, Alice, you're looking for your script? Well, we're just the people to help you find it.
Alice: (excited/grateful) Really?
Juri: You betcha.
Alix: It's really no problem. It's got to be around here somewhere. (offhandedly) Soon as you agree we can start looking.
Alice: Yes, of course, thank you very much…wait…agree to what?
Alix: Oh, just a little deal, tit for tat as it were. You help us out with something we need doing and in return we'll get you your script back.
Suz:We know this place inside and out, we'll find your little script-thing in no time. (Other stage crew nod encouragingly.)
Alice: (making up her mind) Well sure, that sounds fair. What do you need me to do?
Alix: We need you to get something back for us, something still rightfully ours. (Stage crew leans forward, nodding slowly.)
Alice: You mean…like, stealing?
Alix: (shaking her head wistfully) No, no, no, no, no, no, no, nothing as interesting as that. What you'll be doing is simply reclaiming an item for us.
Alice: Okay, I think I understand. What do you want me to, um, (trying out the word) reclaim for you?
Stage Crew: (sharing a look first and then saying invitingly) The Key to the Loft.
Alice: (interested) The Loft?
Alix: (starting to tell the story that she has obviously told before. Juri forcibly encourages Alice to be seated in an armchair for the tale. "Narnian Lullaby" from the Chronicles of Narnia Soundtrack starts up and Alix delivers the entire monologue before the final trumpets come in.) In a time before you, I, or any of us were born, there were the Stage Crew of Legend. (She says this with a dramatic sweep as she stands on her table and the other stage crew form up below Alix. They form up under her (turned towards Alix) like the base of a mountain, and she is their peak. Alix begins to enunciate and dramatize her speech as her story winds up.) They were guardians of the backstage. (At this all four stage crew on the floor turn sharply around forward and stand at attention, their hands in fists one atop the other like statues of knights holding imaginary swords.) Great men and women who kept the secrets to great set-building and special effects. With their exquisite skill they would craft houses, castles, palaces of the simplest materials. A talented crewman or woman could turn a pile of scrap into a useful prop in a matter of hours. The greatest of them all was Ingrid Volskar. (At this Alix is handed a large battle-axe by Suz, which she proudly hefts over her shoulder. The other stage crew turns around and presents their hands to Alix, indicating that she is the representation of Ingrid Volskar. Alix takes on the role gladly.) She was the keeper of the sacred power tools, which allowed us to build sets faster than ever before. Such was the prowess of skill among the stage crew that they were quickly hired out into construction and interior design jobs. Seeing this, the directors (said with a touch of malice while swinging the axe to emphasize her point), to stop any further defectors, took the power tools from Ingrid's grasp and locked them away in…The Loft. (Final trumpets blast in "Narnian Lullaby". Stage crew all point dramatically to the loft while Alix puffs out her chest and gestures with the battle-axe. Alice, loving stories like these, has been enchanted throughout and after a beat, claps her hands.)
Alice: (Joyously) That's a wonderful story!
Juri: (as the stage crew breaks their formation) It ain't a story, kid; it's a memoir.
Alix: (coming down from her table and gathering with the rest of the stage crew leaning in around the armchair Alice is seated in) And it isn't over quite yet. There's a final chapter, and that's where you come in.
Alice: (eager) For the Key, right? I go in to the director's office and take… (realizing the gravity of what she may be about to enter into)…take the key…
Alix: Right, you see, the director's wised up to us and our ploys to get it back. He won't let anyone of us near it, but… (gesturing to Alice)…if an actor like yourself were to go for it, he would be none the wiser.
Suz: (Trying to chime in) But we would be much the…grateful-er…
Alice: Right, but…I…I need to think for a second…
(Stage crew all raise their eyebrows together, but nonetheless turn away from the chair while still leaning on it. The two downstage are sitting against the legs, reclining. The two upstage fold their arms and lean against the sides of the back casually. Alix turns around against the back and we can see her admiring the battle-axe. The lights go down onstage to low light. A spotlight is centered upon Alice.)
Alice (cont.): (Holding her head and talking to herself) Oh, what do I do...I can't take the key I just… I can't. They would kick me out of the drama club, my entire future career as an actress could be… (thinking)…I can't, I just… (thinking hard, and then a deep breath to start her next sentence)…You know what? No…They…they never liked me anyway. (Gathering speed) No more kissing up, no more pretending to like what they like, no more stinky costumes, no more… (shouted to stage left as if she hopes other actors hear it. Her shout mocks the outrageousness of…) MEMORIZING LINES! (suddenly jumping up out of her chair) I will take it! I will take the Key from him!
Stage Crew: (turn around as if hearing sudden good news. They deliver these lines staggered, all the while hugging Alice and patting her on the back) We knew you'd come round!...Atta' girl!...Yeah, go Alice!...Get 'em girl!...(ad lib anything else felt necessary)
Alice: (determined) I'll be back in no time!
(Alice runs offstage left as stage crew wave goodbye to her. As soon as she is off there is a moment of stage crew waving and then they freeze. The lights do a 2-sec fade to blackout and raise immediately back up in a 2-sec rise. Stage crew unfreezes as the lights come up and is still waving (this time in greeting) as Alice runs back onstage holding an outrageously large key.)
Alice: I have it! (thrusting the key above her head) I have the key!
(Stage crew rushes in on Alice, wanting to talk to her. Toph takes Alice's right side and Red takes her left and they speak as Alice walks proudly towards center stage. Juri, Alix, and Suz follow, listening eagerly.)
Toph: Was it hard?
Red: Did he see you?
Juri: (jumping up over their heads to be heard) Got any loot?
Alice: (proudly) No, it was simple. I walked in, and I walked out. He never suspected a thing. But come on girls, let's not waste time with talk, to The Loft!
Stage Crew: (echoing her and each raising a fist) To The Loft!
(Stage crew and Alice run off stage left shouting "To The Loft!", "Onward!", etc. Alix takes this moment to stealthily place the battle-axe behind a crate near center stage before running along. A cartoonish sound effect is heard of a key turning in a lock and a door banging open. Stage crew and Alice come back on a moment later cradling black cases. Only Alix does not have a case. She looks upon the celebration wistfully. Everyone with cases opens them excitedly to reveal power drills and such.)
Suz: (holding her drill aloft and testing it out) Ingrid's drills! And still with the battery charged!
Toph: (Holding her drill in two hands admiring it) And to think…after all these years…
(Stage crew and Alice test out/admire the tools for a moment. They then realize the reason for their celebration and one by one look up from whatever they are holding and towards Alice. A period of silence lasts, and then Alice notices it and understands.)
Alice: (Looking towards Red with a smile, who is on her left.) Red, I think I'm going to take you up on that offer.
Red: Oh?...Oh, of course, dearie!
(Red makes a "come together" gesture to the other stage crew and they form up around Alice. Juri produces a large black drape from behind a crate and passes it among the stage crew around Alice. Alix stands behind Alice and does not take a part of the drape. Stage crew holds up the drape, forming a curtain around Alice. Alice now performs a quick change; she goes from white/pink/blue to black/red clothing/accessories to signify a transformation of the self. The curtain drops and Alice emerges in her new clothes. Juri, Red, Toph, and Suz welcome Alice with embraces, cheers, and slaps on the back. After a moment of joy they go silent. Alix has taken the battle-axe and slowly steps through the crew members, each step seeming to convey a journey in itself. Her head is down while she walks and she raises it to look Alice in the eye once she stops.)
Alix: (with great purpose) It is said that Ingrid's axe should belong only to those who show themselves to be true allies of Stage Crew. It looks like today you've proven yourself more than I ever could. (Ceremoniously hands the battle-axe over to Alice, who takes it in both hands reverently. A silent understanding passes between the two women.)
Alice: (Nodding and assuming her role, she steps up onto her table. Alice raises the battle-axe in her right hand.) For Stage Crew!
All: (Raising drills, or in Alice's case, the axe) YAH!
(Lights do a 1-sec fade down to blackout.)
End play.