Hardcastle and McCormick: Just a Few People, and a Nice Spread
You are invited to the wedding of Mark McCormick and Kathy Kasternack. The walk up the aisle, however, is not going to be easy. If only they didn't have to deal with a former cellmate wanting a favor, a wedding over planning Hardcastle, and the real possibility of Mark being tossed back into the slammer. Expect more than a few 'hitches' as Mark gets married.
Hardcastle and McCormick** Hardcastle and McCormick** Hardcastle and McCormick** Hardcastle and McCormick
Max Levine was once a very good thief. As he left the prison gate, he knew two things: He could be a good thief again, and that "Skid" McCormick owed him a big favor.
He looked up to see his girl, Patsy Sands, bouncing up and down by his car. At least he thought it was his car. When he went in the pen five years ago it had been a pristine green Corvette. Now it was so dinged and crumpled he could hardly recognize it.
"Damn it, Patsy. What did you do to 'Sheila'," Max asked in total exasperation.
Patsy obtusely replied, "What Maxie, are you talking about—she's right here." Patsy then gestured like Vanna White to the car next to her. Max couldn't help but think Patsy was lucky she had great body, because she was a compete idiot.
Max ran his hand on Sheila's scratched side.
"Good grief, what did you do to her?"
Patsy opened the door to drive, but Max pushed her out of the way.
"Let me drive, Sheila, has suffered enough at your hands."
On the road Patsy chattered incessantly, but Max ignored her until she got to the subject currently on his mind.
"When are we goin' get your stash, Maxie? I am tired of working at the diner. You promised me a house on the beach."
Max thought the beach house better have a high cliff, so that he can push Patsy off of it, but he never told her what he was thinking. Then he thought of something he really needed to know.
"Patsy, you seen Howard around lately?"
Patsy thought for a second, and Max was convinced he smelled burning.
"Yeah," she said as the memory came back, "He was eating at the diner last week. Why?"
"Now you didn't mention my stash, did ya, poopsie?" asked Max in a condescending tone.
Patsy shook her head.
"Does that rattle I am hearing mean, no?"
"All he talked to me about was the jewelry you stole from the old lady."
Max could have hit her, just to jump start her brains, but he was not a man prone to violent action, just violent thoughts.
"Poopsie, the jewels are my stash," he said in a sing song voice of disgust.
Pasty laughed, and said, "That's right, I forgot. Well, I don't know where it is. I don't know nothin'."
"You can say that again," Max muttered under his breath.
Patsy looked around and asked, "Where we going?"
"To get help from a pal—whether he likes it or not."
GULLS WAY
Kathy and Mark sat with their eyes wide in stunned silence.
Milton Hardcastle stood in front of an easel with posters of flower displays, catering brochures, and now companies who did dove releases for weddings. The judge had really gone 'gung ho' as a wedding planner.
"Ok, well how about doves? The doves. Now you have to like the doves, they are all beautiful and... 'flighty'," Hardcastle said giving his "sales pitch."
"Flighty?" Mark asked, not exactly sure what the word meant.
"Yeah, McCormick, all 'flighty' and romantic—geeze," the judge said annoyed by McCormick's lack of enthusiasm. Nevertheless, he continued, "I also got a hold of Jacque...the fancy schmancy guy. He had a cancellation! Isn't that great...for some reason the other wedding got cancelled. We have to go with their menu, buy hey—the groom and the IRS—big investigation...same old story.
"You didn't call your friend at the IRS, did you?" Mark said with concern.
"If you don't do the crime, you won't to do the time," replied the judge flatly. It was clear he had. Then, he rifled through his posters for the one about the champagne fountain.
After a few more posters, he stood back and waited for a reaction. He was deflated when the two sat speechless.
In a short time he had managed to plan a massive wedding, and only just now he had to consider that it may not be what McCormick and Kathy wanted. He had spent the better part of an hour trying to convince the two that what he had planned was perfect. But, by the looks on their faces, he might have let his enthusiasm carry him away.
With the wind out of his sail, he said, "I have gone too far. You hate the doves."
Mark sighed, and then tried to be diplomatic, "No Judge, we think the doves are nice. We think the flowers are nice...and the string trio you hired is top notch. It's just..."
Kathy joined in, "We appreciate all you have done, Judge. Honestly." She hesitated to say more.
Milt lowered his brow. He could tell they had more to say. "But?"
"But, isn't it all a bit, well, big—and expensive, Judge? Isn't it all far too expensive?" Mark got out quickly. He wondered if appealing to the judge's stingy side could be the answer.
The judge frowned, and replied, "Well, you aren't going to pay for it. I'm paying for it, McCormick." At once his frown turned to a full on pout. He had enjoyed lining everything up all week and it disappointed him that the kids didn't love it.
Then in a sentimental voice, Hardcastle said, "Maybe I'm over doing it. I just figure this is the sort of wedding I would have wanted for my son..." Milt then cleared his voice and walked over to the window behind the desk.
Mark and Kathy exchanged a look of understanding. If Milton C. Hardcastle, the man who had done so much for them wanted to this, how could they turn him down? Kathy nodded for Mark to speak first.
Mark perked up his spirits and stated, "Judge, it is perfect the way it is. If this is the wedding you want for us, then all systems go. Tell us when to show up and where to stand."
The judge turned about, and asked sincerely, "Are you sure? Only if it makes you happy—really kids."
Kathy came around the desk, took his arm, and leaned into him. "Judge, we love it."
Hardcastle smiled.
"Thanks, Judge," Mark said, and meant it. It was something special to be given the gift of the wedding the man would give his son.
"You know, I think the doves are a bit much. I'll call and cancel them," Milt said going to the phone, "Now you two go take a break. Only two more days...," he said, and then dialed. He was the happiest Mark had ever seen him.
Kathy followed Mark into the gatehouse.
"Did you see his face? I had no idea this would mean so much to him," Mark said in exasperation.
Kathy came down and sat on the couch. Mark followed and sat next to her. He gazed into her eyes and tried to decipher the meaning of the unease he saw in them.
"What is it Kath, do you mind that much?" He asked with concern, "If you do, I'll tell Hardcastle to forget it. I mean it."
"No," she said and smiled weakly, "It does mean so much to him. You'll be there, that is all that should matter."
"Should matter?"
"Mark...it is just that I...," she began, but suddenly a new resolve came over her, and she continued, "No, I'll be fine. The judge is working so hard, so quickly. He really is incredible. He really does love you like his son, you know."
"I know, and I want to please him. But Kathy, you are my priority now. In two days you're Mrs. Mark McCormick, which comes with certain rights and privileges."
"Rights and privileges?" Kathy asked with a sideways grin.
The mood changed. It was a rare moment alone, and Mark McCormick was a man who knew to take an opportunity when it is given to him.
"Oh, yeah, very important rights and privileges," Mark replied warmly.
Mark moved in closer and slipped off Kathy's glasses.
Kathy chuckled, and said, "You know, I need those to see."
Mark took on a seductive air, and replied, "I say you feel your way for a little while." Kathy giggled as Mark began kissing her neck.
"You know the judge could come in here with a shotgun to defend my honor," Kathy said, as the kisses became much more difficult to resist.
As he moved his attentions to her lips, he replied between kisses, "A shotgun wedding is ...usually... a quick ... simple...affair."
Finally finding Mark irresistible, Kathy kissed him earnestly, but not before she said, "We can always name a baby after him."
Mark nodded distractedly, and instead focused on the woman in his arms. The kissing was building heat, and Mark was at the buttons of Kathy's blouse, when the gatehouse door flew open.
"How about a choir?"
"Hardcastle, timing!" Mark shouted in irritation. Kathy immediately stood up and buttoned her blouse.
The judge quickly assessed the situation. He then narrowed his gaze on McCormick. "Two days, McCormick. Two days," the judge said in disgust, "What's wrong with you? Are you an animal or what? Come on Kathy."
Kathy was red from embarrassment, but she did manage to give Mark an encouraging smile, before Hardcastle, shaking his head, led her back to the house.
As the door closed Mark wondered how long of a sentence he would get, with these extenuating circumstances, for killing a judge.
FRITZI'S DINER
Howard Cofax had waiting all day to see Patsy again. She was a veritable goldmine of information, and a complete moron. Of course, the fact that she was built like a Playboy centerfold, with an outside chance that he might get lucky, made the whole thing much more tolerable.
"Can I help you?" a waitress asked coming to take his order.
"Is Patsy here?"
The waitress replied, "Naw, she went to get her old man out of the joint today. Waddya want, mister? I got other customers."
"How about $200,000," he replied obscurely.
"Huh? I'll come back when you know what you want," She said moving to another table.
Howard muttered darky to himself. "I know I want what I am owed. I also know where you're going next Levine."
GULLS WAY
Max Levine told Patsy to wait in the car, and hoped to heaven she'd listen to him. He hadn't seen Mark McCormick in three years, and from what he'd heard, the kid had gone all straight as an arrow. He knew he was going to need a good story and a whole lot of finesse to get this done. He also knew if Howard Cofax caught on it wouldn't be long before he'd be on his trail, and his plan required that they stay one step ahead.
Max had left his car, and Patsy, at the gate entrance and then walked up the drive. He admired the ritzy house and had made enough enquiries in the last month to know that Skid lived in the gatehouse and that the place was owned by Judge Hardcastle. He clinched his jaw at the thought of Hardcastle. He was still a little ticked at the 5 years Hardcastle had made him do for one lousy ring. It didn't matter that he had stolen a whole mess of jewelry from the old Simpson broad, all the evidence they actually found on him was that stupid big ring with the ruby in it. Of course it had the one he had given to Patsy. That girl always seemed to be at the root of his problems.
Max came to the gatehouse door, and noticed several vans at the main house and a tent going up in the yard. He gave the door a good knock, and moments later came face to face with his old cellmate.
"Max," Mark said with surprise, "You're out!"
"Good to see you to, Skid," Max replied, acting upset that Mark wasn't happier to see him. "I came all this way to see a friend. You'd think I'd get a 'hello, Max' or 'good to see ya, Max'. What do I get, but 'you're out'."
Mark smiled apologetically, and said, "It is good to see you, Max. Come on in." Mark showed him inside.
"This is a really nice place, Skid. You got yourself a nice deal here—Well, except for having to live with 'Hardcase'. How do you stand it, without killing him?"
Remembering his frustration from earlier he replied, "Some days have more potential for homicide than others."
"You all having a big party, or something? Lots of activity, going on around here," Max inquired and took a seat at the couch.
Mark sighed, still overwhelmed by the day soon to come, and said, "Actually, I am getting married."
Max immediately popped up and shook Mark's arm nearly out of its socket.
"Good for you, Skid. Good for you," and then with his mind having worked out a plan he continued, "That's so funny. I came here to invite you to my wedding!"
Mark looked astonished, and asked, "You are going to get married?"
"Yep, come next week, I and Patsy are finally tying the knot. Of course nothin' as fancy as you got going here, just a few people and a nice spread—something simple and classy."
Mark then reached out and shook Max hand.
"That is great, Max. You and Patsy," Mark said happily, but surprised Max agreed to marry the girl he complained about every night for the two months that they shared a cell.
"Actually, I not only came to invite you, but I need your help," Max began, "My precious mother—you remember her Skid. She decided to send her wedding dress for my Patsy—the very dress my mother wore to marry my father. Now this dress, a family heirloom, had to be shipped all the way from my old neighborhood in Queens. Mama, well she tells me she won't send it to just anyone—me still being San Quentin and all. And Patsy, she lives in a neighborhood where they would steal an ice cube if you left it on the stoop. So I says to Mama, I says, 'I have an old cell mate that lives in a respectable part of town. You send it to him, all certified and stuff, and he can pick it up.'"
"I get the feeling that is where I come in," Mark said waiting for the angle. Max Levine was nothing if not one part thief and three parts bull artist.
"You got it, Skid. Right now that precious family gown is sitting at the post office, needing your signature."
"Now that you're out, why didn't she just send it to you, Max?"
Max replied, "I had no idea they would let me out two weeks early or I would have. Now we got the temple booked but no dress for my Patsy. So all you need to do is come with me, we will go to the post office. It will take an hour there and back, tops."
Mark eyed Max suspiciously.
Max quickly replied, "That wounds me, Skid. I come here really needing your help, and you think I am trying to mess with you. I thought we were friends."
"It is just I cannot get into any trouble, Max. I live with a judge, am getting married, and working on a future here. I can't be dragged into anything—I mean anything, Max."
Max held up his hands, and said, "I swear what I need you to sign for is coming from my mother in Queens. I even got Patsy down in the car. Now, would I put the love of my life in any danger? I will answer that question—No I would not."
"McCormick!" the judge shouted from the main house, "You have to choose a tux, right now!"
Mark, who had had more than enough of the judge's wedding plans, grabbed his jacket.
"Ok, let's go," Mark said as he led Max quickly out the door.
As he jumped in the Coyote, Max said, "You follow me to the post office."
On the drive to the post office, Mark still was not sure he was going to do Max this favor. Something about it made him uneasy. Max wasn't the worst of characters Mark had met in prison. He was sent up for stealing jewelry, not murder. Nevertheless, he had a reputation for charming old ladies out of their jewelry, much to the chagrin of their disinherited relatives. The son of his last victim had him locked up. How he could make these ladies give him things, Mark had no idea. He was on the short side, with slicked back brown hair, and sort of long face. So it wasn't sex appeal.
Mark had to admit Max did have something about how quickly he could talk people out of things. One day in San Quentin, when an inmate had Mark up against the wall, Max managed to not only get the guy to back off, but to apologize, and give them both free cigarettes for a month. He was incredible.
It didn't take too long to get to the post office, but Mark's concern grew when Max and Patsy did not get out of the car.
Mark walked up to the car, taking note of the crummy condition, and said, "Were you in an accident, Max?"
Max turned his head at Patsy, but then said, "Yeah. No injuries, unfortunately...I mean it was unfortunate."
"Hey, you must be Patsy. It is nice to meet you, finally. Max spoke of you often," Mark said, albeit tongue in cheek, holding out his hand.
Patsy brightened, and replied, "Likewise, I am sure."
Mark offered his congratulations, but Patsy seemed oblivious. Max was silently convinced that Patsy's brain was lit with only a 20 watt bulb.
"What did I do?" she asked looking to Max.
Max panicked a little, Patsy wasn't good at improvisation, but he said, "Our plans, Poopsie."
Patsy, who was always thinking about her future beach house, replied, "Yeah, it is going to be great. Me and Max together on the beach."
Max had to smile in relief. What she had said worked just fine for a wedding. For once she hadn't stuck her foot in it.
"Sounds really nice," Mark replied wistfully. A beach wedding with a few friends was about perfect. Unfortunately, he had Hardcastle the "wedding tornado" with which to contend.
"Skid, I want to get you back to your place and your plans. Just go on in and ask for it. We'll wait here. It has been a long day."
"I know this one, Max. I go in get the package, and end up doing 3 to 5. Nope, you are coming in with me," Mark said firmly.
Max held up his hands and said, "Fine. Fine. I am still deeply wounded in your lack of trust." He leaned over and kissed Patsy. "I will be back and our dreams will come true, Poopsie."
Patsy giggled excitedly.
In the distance two sets of eyes were on the post office. One was the familiar face of Howard Cofax. Across the road the other was a younger man in a dark gray sedan.
While Mark and Max waited in line, Max decided to keep Mark from thinking too much and asked him questions.
"Tell me about your girl, Skid—Blonde bomb shell type, like my Patsy? Is it that girl you once told me about from Phoenix?"
Mark wanting to get this over with, replied, "No, Kathy isn't like Patsy. She is an accountant."
"A brain. Good for you, Skid. I would never have guessed it considering the women you used to date, but with time comes wisdom." Max gave Mark a firm pat of reassurance on the back.
Mark wasn't sure how that bit of insight was supposed to apply to Max and Pasty. However, who was he to judge.
"So when's the wedding?" Max asked.
Mark, moving with the line, replied, "Saturday at 2." Then as they reached the window, Mark stated flatly, "If this package is in any way odd, or strange, I am not signing, Max."
"My word, Skid—this is a package from my mother in Queens."
Sure enough when the package arrived, McCormick had a look before signing. It was in fact from Queens, and addressed from Mrs. Rivka Levine, although it appeared to be somewhat smaller than a box containing a wedding dress. All in all, it was about the size of a large oversize shoe box.
Max noticed Mark's scrutiny, and said, "Mama was such a small woman, I hope the dress fits my Patsy."
Mark reluctantly signed, and handed the package to Max, who took it up greedily.
"I cannot thank you enough, Skid. As far as we are concerned we are even."
Mark replied, puzzled, "I didn't know I had a debt, Max."
"Vinnie 'the Crunch' Marcello," Max said.
It was the name of the guy Max had talked into apologies and cigarettes.
Mark nodded, and said, "Fine. We are even. Now I have to go. Congratulations, again, Max." Mark wasn't about to stick around. If the cops suddenly encircled the post office, he wanted a fighting chance to get away. So he made a straight line toward the exit.
Max shouted, "The Sunday after next, you and your wife, Wilshire Boulevard Temple, at 6:00—see you there!"
As he ventured out into the street, Max glanced up to see the front end of a familiar car. Behind the steering wheel was a face he had hoped to avoid. Howard Cofax's eyes shot daggers in Max's direction. Mark had already gone to the Coyote, so Max hurriedly came back over to his car.
"Mark, I am worried that my mother's gown will not be safe in Patsy's apartment. Could you hold it, until this Saturday? I'll pick it up after your wedding," Max said inviting himself to Mark's wedding. All at once, Max dropped the package onto the passenger side of the Coyote. He then hastily got to his car and drove away. Mark was unable to get a word in edgewise.
Mark put on his seat belt and muttered, "I knew it. I knew it! Now I need to only wait for the next shoe to drop."
In his ride back home, he noticed a tail. A yellow car trailed up behind him. Deciding to shake him before he got back to Gulls Way, he hit the gas.
The yellow car kept close to him, but he was able to lose him by choosing a few good alleys. Then minutes later he noticed a dark sedan.
"Oh come on," Mark stated in exasperation. Like the first, it didn't take too long to lose the tail. By the time he returned to Gulls Way, he knew he was in trouble.
"Well, that was stupid, McCormick," the judge said after hearing his story.
They both stared at the package.
"Are you gonna to open it?"
Mark picked it up shook it and sat it back down again.
"It isn't mine," Mark replied. If he had his way he'd send it right on back to Mrs. Levine in Queens. He wanted out of all this before something hit the fan.
Hardcastle picked up the box and gave it a good shake too, and said, "It has your name on it. So legally it is yours."
"That is the problem, Judge. While it is just sitting there I can imagine it really is Max's mother's dress. I can imagine that everything is fine and wonderful. When I open it I am going to see that I am in a lot of trouble. One thing I do not need is trouble. I am finally done with prison life. I am in law school, and I am—I am getting married in less than 48hours! " Mark said, his voice filled with nervous anxiety, "I'd rather not be off to prison tonight."
The judge plopped it down in front of him, and said, "Open it."
Mark swallowed hard and ripped off the brown paper on the box. The inside was in fact a boot box that had been taped closed. Mark carefully opened the tape and the box. The box opened his way blocking Milt's view.
For a moment all Mark could do was stare at the contents of the box.
"What is it, McCormick?" the judge asked his curiosity fully peaked.
Mark appeared sick, and said, "Oh, about 10 to 20." He then poured the box out in the coffee table in front of them. Out flowed what was obviously expensive jewelry. Diamonds, rubies, and emeralds, set in gold and platinum that glittered in the light."
Hardcastle picked up a piece and examined it. Mark sat back in the chair, his hand to his head, seemly in despair.
"High end items—probably about half a million dollars' worth. This must be the stuff from the Hamilton lady," Hardcastle said perusing the pile.
Mark got up and paced. He verbally vomited, "Of course it is. It's over. There goes law school. We'll have to cancel the wedding. Kathy can't be asked to marry a felon."
Milt looked over the rest of the pieces, and replied distractedly, "Settle down, McCormick. Besides, she already said 'yes' to a felon."
"That's comforting, Judge. Thank you." Mark replied sarcastically.
"I'll call Frank. He isn't going to arrest you," the Judge said moving toward the phone.
"Says you! I took possession of stolen goods, Judge. As you said the package was legally mine. Now at the very least, I am going to be down at the police station all day—May be even all night. Paperwork alone means we will have to call off the wedding...and honeymoon. Why did you have to interrupt today, we could have had at least one beautiful moment. Yep, there goes the wedding." Mark was babbling despondently.
Hardcastle considered what Mark was saying, and knew he had a point. After all the planning and expense, he was suddenly reluctant to call Frank. He set down the receiver.
"How about this? We lock it in the safe, and I call Frank about it Monday morning. I mean he doesn't have to know exactly when we opened the package, does he?"
Mark gazed at the judge, and said, "Milton C. Hardcastle, are you suggesting that we hold on to these stolen goods until Monday?" Mark always did enjoy it when "law and order" Hardcastle was willing to break the rules. He was also relieved.
Milt grimaced, and nodded reluctantly. "Yeah, I guess," then he said sternly, "I just don't want Kathy to be disappointed."
Mark laughed, and corrected him, "You just don't want to be out several thousand dollars' worth of deposits."
"That, too," the judge replied honestly.
The judge went over to a safe in the wall of his study, and turned the dial until it opened. Mark scooped up the jewels carefully, and put them in the box. Then he handed the box and its torn packaging to Hardcastle.
"Now Monday, we take this to Frank, agreed?" Hardcastle stated rather than asked.
Mark tilted his head, looking at the temptation in the form of gold and jewels, and said, "Unless you think we can find some good real estate in Tahiti?"
"Cut it out, McCormick," he groaned, and closed the safe.
Then Mark remembered the two cars that followed him.
The judge replied, "Unless they were official, and I assume they were not since this place isn't covered in cops, then we will set the alarms. Hope for the best."
"The alarm system? We never use it—it's ancient! I think it is run by a hamster on a wheel," Mark exclaimed, having no confidence in Gulls Ways current security. He began to fidget.
Hardcastle was irritated. He blustered and snapped back, "That's a good alarm system! I'll have you know I chose the system myself, back in seventy-eight—top of the line! Don't you question my system..."
"Fine. Fine. I am sorry," Mark said realizing he'd better keep the judge on his side. Hardcastle was going well beyond his ethics on this one. "We set the alarms...hope for the best."
Milt nodded resolutely.
It seemed simple enough, but Mark still felt a little sick.
HAPPY NIGHTS MOTEL
"Maxie," Patsy asked with a distinctive whine in her voice, "When are we getting my house at the beach?"
Max watched her as she sat filing her nails, thanking the heavens above that he was not actually going to marry the vacuous dingbat.
"Soon. I had to put the stash in safe hands for now. Thanks to you, Howard is on our tails."
Max was nearly at a loss to know what quite to do next. His plan, for now, was fairly simple. He spoke it aloud, mostly for himself, "On Saturday we head over to Skid's place for his wedding. We get the box with the Hamilton dame's jewels. Then I make a quick exit to Mexico." He hoped that the crowd at Gulls Way would discourage Howard Cofax.
"We, Maxie—we make a quick exit to buy our beach house in Acapulco," Patsy clarified. Then she grinned ear to ear and went back to her nails.
"Fine...Fine. We only gotta wait until Saturday. Then it is all sun, sand, and surf." Even Max smiled this time. He also knew that he fully intended to leave Patsy at the wedding. That thought alone made his thoughts brighter.
GULLS WAY
"You mean his mother kept the stolen jewelry for him?" Kathy asked the next morning in the kitchen at breakfast. Now having heard the story, she wasn't sure that holding the jewelry until Monday was such a good idea. She was also amazed that a mother would aid in her son's crime.
"Like they say, a man's best friend is his mother," Mark said humorously.
"You know McCormick, I had an idea about your dilemma," Milt said putting eggs on his plate. "You said this Max is coming on Saturday for the jewelry. If you think about, maybe you should let him have the jewels."
Mark was incredulous, and questioned, "Are you suggesting we ignore a half million dollar crime?"
Milt frowned, and grumbled, "Of course not! But think, if we get rid of the wrapping paper with your name on it and one of the many fine officers invited to your wedding, including Frank, just might happen to see the evidence in Mr. Levine's car...and that will be that."
"Milton C. Hardcastle, you crafty devil. You're suggesting we set Max up," Mark said with true respect for his scheme. Mark turned to Kathy and added, "This is my influence, you know."
Kathy smiled and shook her head. They both could be like children.
"It's not really a setup, McCormick. It is more like... redirecting justice to its proper conclusion," Milt said with a satisfied grin.
"It's more like planting evidence. But since it's his evidence, I'm in," Mark said enthusiastically.
"Then it's settled. I'll get rid of the brown wrapping with you name on it, tonight. Then before the ceremony I'll stick the box in Levine's car."
Mark chuckled at their conversation, "We could make quite the crime family."
Hardcastle gave Mark a sour look, and said, "Don't be ridiculous, McCormick. Kathy and I are very honest people."
Noting the omission of his name, Mark rolled his eyes.
"Now the important part, everything is ordered up for tomorrow. The men are here to complete the tent by tonight. Jacque will be here at ten o'clock tomorrow morning. The string trio—," Hardcastle stopped when he noticed that Mark and Kathy had taken on that same attitude of indifference that they seemed to have every time he brought up the wedding plans. "Hey, what's up with you two? Every time I talk about the wedding...well, the way you two look you'd think it was a wake."
Kathy stood up and pushed back from the table, and said, "We are just a little overwhelmed, Judge. That's all. Now I have to meet Madge for my last dress fitting." Mark stood up and kissed her goodbye. Then she left and he returned to his breakfast.
Milt was not satisfied. "Are you going to tell me or not?"
"It's what Kathy said," Mark replied evasively, but then decided on another track, "Judge you never told me what your wedding was like. It must have been a big party."
Milt smiled nostalgically, and then said, "Actually Nancy wanted a smaller wedding. Her father he tried, but in the end we just had a few of our friends, and close family. Nancy and I were married on the edge of the bluff overlooking the ocean. We had an arbor at the altar covered with roses—they were pink—where she met me and the priest married us. She was beautiful... Then we had a dinner and we ate and drank until we left for our honeymoon." It was obvious that this memory was one that was dear to him. Mark often wished he had met Nancy Hardcastle. He was sure he would have loved her, too.
"That sounds just about perfect to me, Judge," Mark said hoping that Hardcastle would finally understand the problem.
Hardcastle, clearing emotion from his throat, got up and made his way out the door, muttering, "I have to go and check to see if they have that tent upright yet."
Mark sighed with disappointment.
OUTSIDE GULLS WAY
Howard Cofax had asked around to find the address of the guy who owned the car with the Coyote X license plates and now satin his car down from the entrance to the estate. He had a vague memory of Max mentioning a Mark McCormick. Now he figured that this McCormick must be Max's new partner. All along when he and Max were planning, he had a feeling he'd had someone else in the mix.
He glanced down at his seat where the tools he'd use to break into the house lay hidden under a newspaper. All he needed to do now was just wait until everyone went to sleep. His only concern was that with all the comings and goings today, he be up all night until it got quiet enough to break in. They were clearly going to have a party, and he hoped it wasn't happening tonight. Then again, he decided it might be to his advantage to get lost in crowd. Regardless, he wanted cover of darkness for his break in, so he sat and waited.
Further down the road a dark gray sedan pulled over to the side of the road. He shook his head at the thought of what he planned to do tonight. He wasn't a thief by nature. He steeled his nerves by reminding himself that the jewels were really his and that it wasn't stealing. He figured he'd wait until dark. He had no idea what would come next, but he had to try. He couldn't let Max Levine get away with taking those jewels.
GULLS WAY
The day passed with a flurry of activity, that Mark did his best to avoid. He thought he should be nervous, but mostly he wanted it all over with. He wanted Max to have his jewels back, albeit temporarily, and he wanted Milt's big wedding festival to recede into memory. Then we wanted to be in the gatehouse making love to his wife. He, however, knew that he had to get through the miserable to get to the good stuff.
There was a light tap at his door before dinner.
I jumble of concerns came with it. Was it Hardcastle with more wedding news, Max looking for his jewels, or the police coming to take him away? It couldn't be good, not the way these last few days were going.
He was wrong, because standing at the door was Kathy.
He grinned mischievously, wondering if they were going to risk the shotgun, or not.
Kathy who quickly read his expression, replied, "I can't stay that long."
Mark took her hand and pulled her close, and replied, "I don't need much time," He quickly realized how that sounded, "I didn't quite mean that exactly."
Kathy rose on her toes and kissed him, but the kiss was brief.
"What I came to say is how thoroughly I am ashamed of us."
Mark was puzzled. "Now I have numerous reasons, especially lately, to be ashamed of myself, but as far as I can see you're innocent."
Kathy pulled out of his arms and plopped onto the couch. She was upset.
"I am talking about Judge Hardcastle. This 'grin and bear it' approach isn't working. Frankly it isn't fair to the judge. We should have said something from the beginning about his plans being too grand, but we didn't. That is our own fault. Now because of our, well, lack of enthusiasm, he isn't getting the true appreciation he deserves, Mark. If we get over the fact the wedding isn't quite what we wanted, he is doing an amazing job—it is almost unbelievable. It is going to be beautiful and elegant. I for one am going to enjoy every moment of it," Kathy stated with conviction.
Mark was once again able to see why it had been so easy to fall in love with Kathy Kasternack. She was the kindest girl with the biggest heart.
"I love you—and you are right." Mark came over and sat down next to her on the couch. "I will join with you in agreeing to enjoy the heck out of our wedding." Then he added thoughtfully, "The judge really is remarkable. He has done so much for me that I can never repay."
Kathy leaned on his shoulder.
Mark immediately moved away and jumped up. "Well out of deference to our friend, the judge, you Miss Kasternack need to go to your room. You know the superstition about seeing the bride before the wedding. Trust me, we need all the luck we can get." He helped Kathy up to her feet and over to the door.
Kathy's brow furrowed as she turned to him at the door.
"You are not having any regrets, or cold feet?"
Mark leaned forward and kissed her. He then said, "I only regret that I didn't marry you a year ago."
Kathy smiled and blushed. The Judge had been right about the attractiveness of a blushing woman.
"Goodnight, the future Mrs. McCormick," he said warmly.
She smiled back and said, "Goodnight, future husband to the future Mrs. McCormick."
It was that phrase, and his memory of her walking back to the main house, that lingered in his memory as he went to sleep.
Then the alarm from the house blared and woke him up with a start. He glanced at the clock, it read 1:04.
Earlier, the man in the dark sedan decided that the time had come to make his attempt. He crept out of his car and found a place to climb a tree and go over the wall.
When he reached the side of the house, he had a surge of confidence. He really had expected dogs or worse. He checked several windows, but found them locked. His confidence, now beginning to wane, brought him to the only thing he could think of doing. Peering about the grounds he found the largest rock he could handle. Then sneaking up to the door at the kitchen, he aimed at its window panel. It soon became clear that the man had overestimated the strength of his arm, and had underestimated the thickness of the glass. For in one unsteady motion, he lost his grip on the rock. It fell from his hand with enough of a trajectory to crash forcefully through the glass. The sound as it shattered, glass and frame, alone could have awakened all of Malibu, but what followed was the violent ringing of a triggered security alarm.
The man chastised himself for not thinking, and took off the same way from which he had come.
Mark, realizing quickly what was going on, flew from the gatehouse grabbing his baseball bat. He met the judge, and Kathy, both fully armed with shotguns, racing to the fountain. After being taken aback by his fiancée arriving armed, Mark spotted the culprit.
"There over there," he said pointing towards the edge of the property. The shadow of a lanky figure could be seen rabbiting towards the wall.
Mark realized quickly he'd have the advantage in a car. So, he tossed the bat in the passenger seat of the Coyote, and took off to try to cut off the would be thief
The man panicked when he heard the engine of his pursuer coming towards him. He rushed towards his car, hoping its dark color would give to it some magically stealth like quality.
For a moment it did, until he turned on the engine and inexplicably its lights. The man once again muttered to himself over his own stupidity. He was really no good at all of this. He wondered why he had promised his mother to get her jewels back.
Hitting his gas petal hard, the man shot down the PCH.
Mark quickly pursued. Darting through late night traffic, Mark managed to get in front of the car, and in one swift right turn. The man in the car slid to a sudden stop. He jumped from his car as if it was on fire.
"I'm sorry! I am sorry! Don't shot me or anything—or hit me," desperately he cried after he noticed the bat. It isn't my fault. My mother made me do it." Then to Marks surprise, he raised his arms in surrender and sat on the cement and balled like an infant.
GULLS WAY
The light from the police cars flickered about the front of Gulls Way.
In Hardcastle's study, Frank got off the phone and turned to Milt, Mark, and Kathy.
"Well, your burglar was none other than Gregory Hamilton the third, of the San Francisco Hamiltons. Not your 'run of the mill' house breaker. He says he saw Mark talking to one Max Levine today, and was hoping that you'd lead him to his mother's stolen jewels."
Mark swallowed hard, and shot glances at Milt and Kathy. Then he did his best to act innocent.
"Yeah he was here today. He came to invite me to his wedding. We shared lodgings at San Quentin for two months," Mark stated, going with a "just the facts" approach.
"You know that he just spent several years in the house of many doors for robbing this Gregory's mother's jewelry? I guess they only recovered a ring, although it was an expensive one."
Hardcastle jumped in, "Yeah, Frank, it was my case. He had a partner, we suspected. But since no other jewelry was recovered, he was only sent up for 5 years."
Frank gave Mark a look to which he replied, "Don't look at me. I didn't know the guy until after we became roomies. From what he said in the pen, his partner was some guy named Howard. Said the guy was nuts."
"Cofax, Howard Cofax. He was listed as one of Levine's known associates. It is believed he found the rich old ladies for Levine to scam. Well, I suspect he probably has the jewels." Frank said and closed his notepad, then continued, "So this Hamilton didn't take anything?"
"No. Did a number on the back door, but otherwise were fine, Frank," Milton replied.
"Well, that is it for now. I guess I better go. My guys have done what they needed to do. You have a big day here tomorrow, and we can all use the sleep. Claudia and I will see you in a few hours," Frank said with a smile and then patted Mark on the back as he left.
"McCormick, help me get that plywood up to the back window."
Mark was anxious, and replied, "Now what?"
Milt looked at him incredulously. "Whatta ya mean, 'Now what?' We go on as planned. Actually it will work out better. Frank will be on the lookout tomorrow for Levine. All we need to do is get the box inside the car, as soon as we can, before the wedding."
Mark was unconvinced, he remarked, "Although I take great pride in your new found ability to scam the police, nevertheless I am starting to see multiple ways this whole thing could go wrong. What if Max doesn't show up?"
"He'll show... You're tired. Right now you need to help me with the window, and it all will be better in the morning." Hardcastle said speaking as a father to his very young child. The tone annoyed Mark, but he turned to follow Hardcastle. Then Milt turned to Kathy, and said, "Kathy you head up to bed."
"Goodnight," she said kissing Hardcastle on the cheek and Mark on the lips as they walked towards the kitchen in their pajamas. She grabbed the shotguns and took them upstairs.
No more than ten minutes later, Mark put his head to his pillow. He tossed his bat by the stairs, and turned to glance at his clock. It was 2:45 a.m. He moaned and rolled over in bed.
"I am going to fall asleep at the altar—I know it," he muttered to himself.
A placid silence settled once again over Gulls Way, but it was short lived. Abruptly, a shotgun blast reverberated across the grounds. Afterwards, the alarm once again blared, causing Mark to bullet out of bed and fall over his shoes.
"What the heck goin' on, now," he said in frustration as he reached for the bat and raced down the stairs.
Earlier, Howard Cofax had watched the events unfold with the lanky idiot, racing from the house. He didn't know what the kid's deal could be, but Cofax was arrogant enough to believe he could still get into the house that same night.
As soon as it quieted down, he strapped his tool belt to his waist and took off over the wall. He chose the exact same spot as Hamilton. Within minutes Howard found himself at the back door of the house. Using the broken window to his advantage, he pushed out the plywood methodically away from the window. He carefully climbed through the hole in the glass. Then, after gaining entrance, he sneaked about the house. He had done a few jobs in big places like Gulls Way, and knew a library or study was the place to start. He checked behind several pictures, and located the safe.
He hadn't heard the steps behind him, but all at once, the room lit up with the explosion of a blast from a shotgun. The shot peppered into the wall above him. He turned for a moment, and looked into the eyes of a very angry bride-to-be. He hesitated no longer, and flew to the door and down the drive. Kathy gave chase and fired another round above his head.
Milton and Mark met her by the fountain, eyes wide and mouths open with shock.
"What the hell are you doing?!" Mark exclaimed.
Kathy ignored him, pointed down the driveway and exclaimed, "Move, he's getting away!"
Mark did as he was told. Once again, in what was becoming a habit that night, he raced after the bad guy in the Coyote.
Much like the earlier event, it did not take long to spin the burglar into the dust, the yellow car flipping unto its side. Mark hopped out of the Coyote and pulled the guy out from the car.
Unlike Hamilton, Mark wasn't face to face with a crier. Howard Cofax arrogantly spat at him, "I want my share. You and Max double crossed me with that Hamilton job." Then he took a swing at Mark's chin. Dodging the blow, Mark followed through with a right cross, and brought Cofax to the ground.
"I don't know what you are talking about. I am not Levine's partner. I was his cell mate for two months. That is it! Now he has dragged me into this mess."
Later, Frank Harper was back with the gang in the study examining the shot sprayed on the wall above the safe.
"I missed on purpose, "Kathy responded to his scrutiny. She didn't want him thinking she was a bad shot or a maniac. Mark and Milt both shot her a look of "it doesn't matter."
"Well, that was Howard Cofax that you shot at. He of course has completely clammed up and is demanding a lawyer. So guys, what the hell is going on?" Frank asked filled with suspicion.
Mark felt like a deer in the headlights, but Milt spoke up, "Probably the same as Hamilton. Saw Levine come over here after getting out of jail, made some assumptions, and broke it. It isn't like 'b and e' is outside of his wheelhouse."
"Yeah, yeah, but for what? I have the feeling something more than that is going on," Frank said, clearly reading the room's tension.
"Of course, something more is going on. There is a wedding here tomorrow, Frank. The kids are all nervous. Jitters, you know," Hardcastle replied with a reassuring smile and a lot of soft soap. Then he put his hand on Frank's back and led him to the door of the study.
"Good to see that an attack of nerves hasn't effected anyone's aim," Frank said sarcastically his eyes darting from person to person distrustfully. "Milt, will this be it tonight or should I just stay until the wedding?"
Hardcastle forced a laugh, and said, "Nope. This should be it...I hope." The last words he spoke under his breath.
Frank headed to the door and left, watching the three with their obviously plastered on smiles. As soon as he left, their faces fell.
"Great, the night before my wedding, and you've turned into a criminal mastermind and my fiancée is now Annie Oakley. Oh this has been quite the night!" Mark said exasperated.
"Don't get mad at us! Who's the idiot trusted a con man, and who picked up the package in the first place? Huh?" Milt shot back crabbily.
Mark acquiesced, "I know. I appreciate your trying to keep me out of trouble, Judge." He calmed a bit. In fact he appeared exhausted. Then is demeanor changed, and he looked at Kathy. "You know, I now feel a lot safer with Kathy in the house." He smiled at her and chuckled.
The judge suddenly began to laugh too.
"I don't think I have seen shooting like that since my Uncle Jack won first prize in the annual Clarence turkey shoot," Milt said through bouts of laughter.
At first Kathy was somewhat irritated, since she had stopped Cofax from stealing the jewels. But, something about the absurdity of the situation got to her as well. The laughing soon became contagious.
She replied, "I just decided to put my gun back in the rack, I didn't expect Cofax to be there. I think I came as a surprise to him, too."
The idea of the tough guy getting scared off by a small woman with a big shotgun, brought on another wave of laughter.
"Do we risk going to bed, or not?" the judge asked, "It is exactly 4:49."
"We can always leave Kathy to stand guard," Mark said still finding humor in the situation.
Kathy replied, "Ha,ha. Very funny."
Mark came over and kissed her.
"I say we try one more time. See you in a couple of hours, kids," Hardcastle said as he left them alone.
"Go back and get some rest, Mr. McCormick, I'll meet you at the front of the aisle."
Mark released her and moved toward the front door, and said, "I see ya then. By the way leave the shotgun here, I doubt it will match the dress."
Before he slipped out, he felt her slipper hit the back of his head. Not only was she a great shot, but she had a great arm as well. Mark smiled all the way back to the gatehouse.
Somehow they managed to get to sleep, although the day did start with the judge letting catering into the house while wearing his underwear and bathrobe.
Madge arrived to help Kathy, and now that the sun was up, she had told Mark he was officially banned from the house. Hardcastle arrived midmorning with breakfast and two garment bags. He too had been banned from the house, but not by Madge. Jacque had found his scrutiny annoying, and had made the suggestion that he leave. At least Hardcastle thought it was what he was saying, since the only things said in English were the expletives.
"Nervous?" the judge asked as they ate their toast, bacon, and eggs at the gatehouse table.
Mark slapped the back of the ketchup bottle, and replied, "Mostly, I am just tired. I should have just had a bachelor party considering how little we slept—but no, I am not nervous."
Any deeper conversation was halted by a very musical knock on the door. Mark opened the door and found none other than his father, Sonny Daye.
"Sonny," he said surprised, "You said you a gig in Atlantic City. I thought you couldn't come."
Sonny came in the gatehouse and sat down in a chair next to the judge.
"Hiya, Judge. I did have a gig, kid, but two days ago, I get this phone call saying that an airplane ticket was waiting at the airport in my name. This same voice said that I'd better be on it or else. So I was compelled to get on it, or my very life was at risk," Sonny explained wittily.
Mark turned to the judge, and questioned, "Judge? Are we threatening my relatives?—I'm touched."
"Don't look at me," he said shoveling eggs into his mouth.
Mark was puzzled. "Then who?" he wondered aloud.
Sonny grinned, and replied with an aura of false mystery, "I am not a rat fink, but let's just say the voice was soft and very sweet sounding, and I think it belongs to the girl that is technically about to become my daughter-in-law."
"Kathy?" Mark said amazed. He was coming to the conclusion he was never going to stop being surprised by her. She hadn't hinted she had called Sonny. He also knew she could scarcely afford the ticket. Mark had told her he had tried to invite Sonny, but that his job would keep him away for the wedding. He was touched, and reminded how much he loved the woman. He glanced at the judge wondering if he had a hand in it.
"Well don't look at me. She didn't tell me anything," Hardcastle said in between bites.
While Mark was still processing it all, Milt turned to Sonny and said, "Good thing you came. The girl means what she says. You should see the wall in my study—full of buckshot." Milt chuckled, and Mark joined in laughing at the joke. Kathy Kasternack in her robe, standing on the front drive, with a smoking shotgun would forever be etched in his memory.
Sonny appeared concerned, and asked, "Should I be worried for your safety, Mark?"
The judge glanced at Mark, as if seeking permission to tell the whole story, Mark nodded in response. Soon, Sonny was up to date with everything from the box, the night visitors, the shotgun, to the plan.
"She fired the shotgun once, ran after the guy, and shot again?" Sonny said flabbergasted.
The judge replied matter-of-factly, "She is certainly the girl for McCormick."
Mark beamed with a glow of pride.
Sonny got right back to the real issue, "So how are you two going to get the jewels into the car? I mean, the best time would be when all eyes are on you two up front. How's about I do it? I could put it in the car and then slip into my spot unnoticed."
"That's quite a risk, Sonny," Mark remarked.
"Hey, it is something I can do for my kid," Sonny said lovingly.
Milt and Mark shared a glance. He was right it would be best. Right about the time he was going to agree, Mark thought of something.
"You are going have to break into Max's car."
Sonny replied unflustered, "I can do that. A lock is a lock."
The judge smiled and sat back. "That part might be sorta easy. Yesterday while you were hiding out from work, as usual, I arranged for a valet to park the cars."
Mark quickly picked up on the judge's train of thought and was for once was happy with the judge's over planning.
"So we will have the keys," Mark said elated.
They all sat back with satisfied smiles.
Mark was relieved, and said, "Finally, a plan is coming together."
Milt finished the last of his breakfast, and elaborated, "So, I bring the package here, get the keys from the valet, and hand both off to Sonny."
Sonny continued, "Then Milt points out the car, while you guys take your places up front, I slip the box in the back seat—maybe a little carelessly, so the contents fall out—and I take my seat."
"Then I get married, and point out Max's car to Frank—and voila, I don't go to jail," Mark said completing the plot.
"And Lady Justice is served," Milt stated proudly.
To which Mark replied, "In a kind of 'roundabout county road wandering through the back country' sort of way."
"It still gets there, kid."
MOTEL
The door to room 12 opened and closed as Max Levine entered wondering if Patsy had any intention of ever coming out of the bathroom.
"Poopsie, we have to get going or we will miss the wedding completely," Max said with gritted teeth. Max knew Skid wasn't a complete idiot. If he caught him too late than he might want to ask a lot more questions about the contents of the box. No, Max wanted to catch Mark busy and preoccupied, ask for the box, and then get the heck out of there. He figured right after the ceremony would be perfect.
Patsy came out of the bathroom and did a "pose" and a "twirl" to show of her completed look.
"You are stunning," Max said with absolutely no conviction, and he continued, "Grab your purse, we gotta go."
Max grabbed their suitcase and tossed it into Sheila's trunk. Every time he saw his car he got depressed, but he vowed to dump Patsy and use her "beach house" money to fix Sheila.
GULLS WAY
Mill came through the gatehouse door with a brown bag, filled with the infamous boot box of jewels, and handed off to Sonny.
"The guests are arriving, but I haven't seen Max yet."
"I am going to take this to my rental car and put it in the trunk. I have the make and model of this Levine's car. You just get me the keys as soon as you can, Judge," Sonny stated and then left with the sack.
"Kid, you almost ready," Milt yelled up to the loft.
"I think so—Judge, I think you got the wrong tux," Mark shouted down.
Milt climbed the stairs as Mark was taking the simple black tux from the garment bag. Mark noticed that the Judge was also wearing a classic black tux.
"Wasn't the one you chose for me supposed to have a cravat and tails or something?"
Hardcastle shook his head, and said, "Nope. This is the right one for you." There was something to how he said that made Mark stop and pay attention. Then Hardcastle added, "I'm sorry, kid."
"What do you have to be sorry about? You are helping me get out of a huge mess. And don't think I don't know how this whole plan is irking you. I know you would've much rather played by the rules."
"It isn't that—well, not completely that," he said earnestly, "It is all this wedding nonsense that I did...planned, well steam rolled over you. I knew you and Kathy wanted something, you know, simpler, and I kind of ignored you. I went overboard, and I'm sorry."
Mark got directly in front of him, and said, "What do you have to be sorry for? That you treat me like a son and Kathy like a daughter? It's Kathy and me—we're sorry. We talked about it last night. You have been remarkable, planning this in a week—spending more than a ton of money on it. We really appreciate everything, Judge, really. I am getting married, and although you're officiating this thing, I want you to know that you are my best man. I sure as hell know you're the best man I've ever known. So don't be sorry."
Milt was touched, "Ok, kid. But I wanted to let you know, I made some changes."
"Whatever they are, I know it will be great, Judge." Mark spoke with sincerity and genuine excitement.
Milt, trying not to show too much emotion, patted Mark's shoulder and headed down the stairs. "I'll keep watch to see if Levine arrives. You finish getting dressed."
OUTSIDE
In only a few minutes, a car answering to the description McCormick gave Milt, came up the drive.
Hardcastle watched him eagle eyed until he came to the valet. After what appeared to be an argument over giving up his car keys, Max Levine and his tomato, handed over the keys and were directed to the side of the house.
Hardcastle made a b-line for the valets, who he observed put Levine's keys to a numbered corner of a board with hooks.
After briefly chatting up the two valets, Milt carefully slipped off the keys and walked to a waiting Sonny. Sonny nonchalantly walked back to his car and waited, messing about with a cigar and lighter.
Hardcastle drew in a deep breath, and headed back to the gatehouse.
Milt came back to find Mark wildly hunting through the room.
"What are you doing?" He asked, thinking the kid had cracked up.
While overturning cushions, he replied, "I know this is going to sound clichéd, but I can't find the rings. Seriously, they are gone. I had them in a small blue box. What am I going to do?" He then went to the bookcase, and started moving around books.
Hardcastle reached into his pocket and pulled out the blue box. Mark looked up, and smiled awkwardly.
"I gave them to you didn't I?"
"Oh yeah, you aren't nervous," Milt said sarcastically, and then chuckled. "Levine is here, your dad has the keys, and now we need to greet your guests."
Mark came over to him, and tried to straighten himself out after his ransacking. He stood before Milt and asked, "How do I look?"
Hardcastle smiled widely, and said, "Like a deer in headlights."
Mark chuckled.
"Don't worry, kid, it is pretty much how every groom looks before the wedding. Here—," the Judge said grabbing a floral box from the table. He opened it up and pulled out a white rose boutonniere. Mark came over and Milt pinned it to him. Then he brushed lint off his lapel, and admired the kid.
Feeling sentimental, Hardcastle's face became more serious, "I am proud of you, kid."
"Really?" Mark asked sincerely. Four years ago he couldn't have cared less, now it had become of profound importance to him what Hardcastle thought.
"In the choice of changing your life—and going to law school, and in the choosing Kathy, you couldn't have done better. Yeah, I am proud."
"If I am any good, and if anyone should take credit, it's you, Judge. Without you, there is no law school and no Kathy. I would probably be just barely getting by on the Can-Am circuit, if I was lucky. No, this is all your doing, Judge."
Hardcastle became fidgety due to the emotion, and then quickly said, "We'd better get going. Where's my robe?"
Mark couldn't help but smile, and after the judge put on his judicial robe, he helped him pin on his boutonniere and the two headed to the altar.
It didn't take long for Mark to see the changes Hardcastle had made. Gone was the tent, instead there where several rows of white chairs, lined up in front of a rose covered arbor overlooking the ocean. Mark also noticed that there were a lot fewer chairs than he had anticipated.
Milt figured out his thoughts, and replied, "I called them up and told them that due to unforeseen circumstances, a reception would be held at a later time. So in a couple of months, we are going to have to throw a party for the reject pile."
Mark chuckled. He gazed at those who were here. There were Frank Harper, Delaney, Stanton, and several cops from the police station. A few judges that he'd come to know were spread about the chairs. The whole group from poker night sat toward in the front row. Mattie blew him a kiss. Even Freddie Bumgarner showed up with Mark's old girlfriend, Debbie. He had heard they were quite an item now. Mark noticed a couple of his friends, and then in the very back row was Max Levine and Patsy.
"Stick to the matter at hand, kid," the judge said, noticing his line of sight. He then put his hand on his back and led him to the front by the arbor. They greeted everyone as they went. Then the string trio began to play.
Mark's eyes went to Milt, who replied, "Un-refundable deposit."
Mark grinned broadly, and then the wedding march began to play. Sonny hastily came around the corner of the house and gave both Milt and Mark a nod. The two men shared a sigh of relief.
"Here we go, kid."
Then all at once, Mark saw Marge in a pink dress, slowly coming towards the altar. She was gorgeous as usual, but Mark was drawn to the loveliness that appeared behind her.
Mark actually felt his heart skip a beat. Kathy seemed more like an angel than a bride. Her hair was upswept and hallowed by wreath of baby's breath and pink rosebuds, from which a sheer white veil fell. Her dress long and feminine, with touches of lace about the high neck, the edges of the long sleeves, and at the bottom of the train. The whole dress used chiffon in a way that made it seem like she walked towards him in a mist.
As she came closer, he saw something else, she wasn't wearing her glasses.
Then she came next to him, she read his thoughts, and whispered, "Contact lenses."
He whispered back, "You are beautiful." She lowered her eyes and blushed, only mesmerizing him that much more.
Then the turned and faced the judge.
"Today, friends and family, we come to unite Mark and Kathy in holy matrimony. Now, I have to tell you, as a judge, I have married quite a few couples through the years. But none have made me quite so happy to marry as these two right here. They are special to me, because before you is my best friend... and then by his side is the most perfect woman for him in the entire world. I consider myself kinda lucky to be able to share this moment with them. So let's get started. Now, if anyone has any objections, speak now—keeping in mind that many here today are probably armed... No...Good."
The crowd chuckled.
Milt continued, "Okay, here we go, kid. Do you Mark take Kathryn to be your lawfully wedded wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and health, until death do you part?"
Mark, his eyes locked on Kathy's eyes, and replied, "I do."
"Do you Kathryn, take Mark to be your lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and health, until death do you part?"
"I do," Kathy said her eyes never leaving Mark's gaze.
Milt pulled the box with the rings from his pocket and handed the smaller one to Mark, and said, "Give this ring to Kathy as a promise, and repeat after me. 'With this ring, I thee wed'."
Mark repeated it as he gently slid it onto her ring finger.
Then the judge handed Kathy the other ring, as said, "Kathy give this to Mark as a promise, and repeat after me. 'With this ring, I thee wed'."
Then Kathy too repeated the words and placed the ring on Mark's finger.
Milt couldn't have smiled any wider when he announced, "It is with great pleasure that I present to you Mr. and Mrs. Mark McCormick." To Mark, he directed, "Kiss her, kid."
Mark quickly leaned forward and kissed Kathy, taking her into his arms and then leaning into dip.
The guests cheered and stood as he brought her back to her feet, and walked her down the aisle. The strings of the trio rang out the traditional recessional and Mark and Kathy made their way into the house—now over laden with flowers.
"Must have been another un-refundable deposit," Mark said as he chuckled, and then kissed Kathy again while they had a moment alone.
Soon the house was filled with all their friends as they made their way to congratulate the couple and find the overstuffed buffet on the dining room table. The amount of food did not go unnoticed by Mark, who asked the judge about it.
"The French dictator in the kitchen was willing to modify the menu, but not the cost. So, we are going to be eating crab puffs, and mini quiches, for a long, long time." Mark couldn't help but chuckle.
Sonny came up to the group, turned to Kathy, and said, "We finally meet."
"Kathy this is Sonny Daye, my father. Sonny, this is Kathy, my wife," Mark said, clearly enjoying the new status of the lady standing next to him.
"I am glad to finally meet the voice. I have been told I shouldn't cross you, because you are quite a good shot," Sonny replied.
Kathy was embarrassed, but then laughed, "I suppose you told everyone." She glared at Mark and Milt who tried to look innocent.
"Well, I don't think they can miss the wall in the study. In fact, I had the florist hang a wreath around it. It is a rather impressive shot," Milt replied his voice dripping with humor.
"You didn't," she replied with horror.
Mark laughed, and said, "He did. I looked in there a few minutes ago."
"Oh well, I joined this family, didn't I?" Kathy replied. Something about the word 'family' struck a chord in Mark. That is what they were, Hardcastle, he, and now Kathy. Even Sonny was becoming closer to them. This was his family, and it struck the ex-con from New Jersey who once felt abandoned and alone, that he was at home, and the happiest he had been in his life.
Sonny reached over and kissed Kathy on the cheek, and then hugged Mark.
"Mark you are a smart and wise man. She is fantastic, and I wish you much happiness."
Mark glanced down at Kathy and smiled.
"Thanks for coming, Dad, and thanks for your help with the other matter, too." Mark replied. Sonny was touched by the rarely offered fatherly endearment.
After Sonny went on to the buffet, and a few more filed by with congratulations, Mark noticed the last couple in line.
He whispered, "It's Max and Patsy." An announcement, that brought all three to attention.
"Skid, it was beautiful. Like a picture from one of those wedding magazines. Just beautiful—now can I borrow you for a second. I need a quick word," Max gushed and then pulled at Mark's sleeve.
Mark followed, but telegraphed his thoughts to Milt, who immediately hunted down Frank.
"Skid, I really can't stay, but I need Mama's dress. Patsy and I got a place on the better side of town, and I want time to get the dress altered—you understand?"
"Maxie," Patsy interrupted, "I forgot my handbag."
"Yeah, whatever, Patsy," Max replied without listening. He waved her off with his hand. She gave him a sour look and left.
He turned his attention back to Mark, "We just need to get going, lots of plans—you understand, don't ya Skid?"
"Sure Max, believe me, I understand. In fact I understand so much that I had the box put in your car today. So you can...getaway...as soon as you needed to," Mark said his voice filled with controlled anger and double meaning.
Max didn't seem to notice, and replied, "Thanks, Skid-great wedding," and then did his best to nonchalantly wander about towards the door, all the while looking for where Patsy had gone. Not that he wanted to take her with him, but so that he could get away without notice.
Across the room, Milt was trying to pull Frank away from a shrimp cocktail.
"So you are telling me, Milt, that Max Levine is here," Frank asked.
"Yes, and he probably has whatever those two chuckleheads were looking for last night, if you can step away from the table to go investigate, " Milt said with annoyance due to Frank's lack of forward motion.
Frank was oblivious, "What do you expect me to do? Arrest him for wedding crashing. "
"Investigate him, or at least watch him," Milt said in frustration.
Kathy had come up behind and added, "He sure is trying to get out to his car in a hurry."
"Fine, I will go have a look," Frank said putting down his buffet plate. With Mark, Milt, Kathy and now Frank clearly watching him, Max suddenly decided he needed to leave immediately. He hastily left by way of the front door. The others followed closely behind, but found he had stopped in his tracks. Soon they were all in the drive by the fountain, and all equally stunned as Max's car suddenly came to life and screeched towards the gate. No one was more stunned than Max himself.
"That no good double crossing, bimbo—she stole my stash!" Max shouted completely astounded.
"That sounds like an admission to me," Frank said, and grabbed Max, who was too shocked to give a damn.
"Let's get her," Hardcastle said, racing for his truck. Mark took off towards the Coyote, with Kathy hitching up her wedding dress, flinging the train over her arm, and sliding awkwardly into the passenger seat.
"What are you doing?" Mark asked ad he started the engine.
"'Til death do us part—besides, if you catch her I know you won't hit a girl...but I might," Kathy said, bringing a grin to Mark's face.
As if they were in an odd post wedding parade, Mark and Kathy—veil flying—in the Coyote, and Milt in his truck, raced down the drive to the highway.
It took a while to spot Patsy in traffic, but soon Mark was able to get on one side of her, and Milt on the other. Both took a try at trying to nudge her off the road, to no avail. They were careful because neither one of them wanted a wreck on their hands. But such things were out of their control. Patsy, who had earned every ding and crumple on Max's car, tried to take an exit too fast, and flipped Sheila. It tumbled several times before coming to a stop and beginning to smoke.
Before the Mark could get to her, she struggled to get out of the car protectively carrying the familiar boot box full of jewels.
As they neared her, Mark yelled out, "I smell gas!" Grabbing, Patsy, he pulled her away from the car right before the car exploded violently into flames knocking them to the ground.
Several black and white police cars, and Frank, came up behind. Max sat in the back of one of the squad cars repeatedly muttering to himself, "Poor, Sheila. I knew that idiot would destroy us both. Oh, Sheila! Sheila!" It was quickly followed by weeping.
Patsy yelled back, "I'm glad she's dead! I wish you were in it!" It appeared Patsy was never as fond of Max as his stash. She tried to hold tight to it when Frank took it from her arms. "That man was never getting me my beach house!"
Frank eventually managed to wrestle away the evidence and brought it to Mark, Milt, and Kathy, as Patsy was put into her own squad car. He opened the box and had a look.
"Well, here are the Hamilton jewels. This must be what Cofax and young Hamilton were looking for."
"Yep," Milt replied saying as little as possible.
Frank then replied, "You know it was awfully nice of Max and Patsy to bring this conveniently to your house today."
"Not too bright. I mean—Max and Patsy, were always was a little dense that way," Mark replied.
"Yeah, I'd have to agree. The people who thought up this whole scenario must have not been thinking too clearly. The must think I am totally stupid." It was obvious that Frank meant them.
Milt jumped in, "Well, you got, your evidence, the bad guys...what else is there?" The three held their breath and waited to see if Frank would call them out on the whole ridiculous plan.
Frank replied, "No, as a gift to the married couple, I am going to take Patsy and Max, and I am going to stop asking questions on such a joyous occasion. Then I am going to return to the party and forget most of what I know all while drinking your best booze, Milt." Frank walked back to his car shaking his head.
"Thanks, Frank," Mark shouted, but Frank ignored him.
Hardcastle, McCormick, and McCormick were left laughing in relief.
With plenty of food, and Milt's good booze, the party at Gulls Way lasted into the night.
With drinking, singing, and story sharing going on, Milt noticed Mark sitting quietly on the patio staring at the moon on the ocean.
"You know the party is inside, kid," Milt said cheerfully.
Mark replied, "Oh, I know. It's a great party, Judge. Thanks."
"Then what are you doing out here?"
Mark grinned, and said, "Taking a quick breath and thinking about how I don't deserve any of it, but being grateful that I have it, you know."
Hardcastle nodded, "Yeah, kid, I know. When I married Nancy, I couldn't for the life of me, figure how I managed to get her to marry me."
"You really like Kathy, don't, you?" Mark asked, although he felt he knew the answer.
"Yeah, of course I like her—like her a lot. You once said she was special, and you were right. She is the one, kid. She is certainly fearless...I mean, she married you," Milton replied with a laugh.
Mark chuckled, and then said thoughtfully, "She told me once that having you makes her feel like she has a part of her father yet."
The comment clearly effected Milt, but he said nothing.
"She's right in what she said tonight. We're sort of a family," Mark said, and then measured Hardcastle's reaction.
Milt nodded, and said, "I guess we are, kid. I guess we are." Mark could tell that the thought was not displeasing to the judge. Then the judge gave him a sideways look, and said, "Speaking of Kathy, You know I put away my shotgun, and she went over to the gatehouse about twenty minutes ago..."
Mark got the point quickly, and replied, "I think I need to say goodnight, Gracie. Goodnight, and thank you...I mean it."
"Goodnight, kid."
THE GATEHOUSE
The gatehouse was dark, except for a low light from the loft. Mark came in the door, and tossed his tux jacket on the couch, followed by his tie. Undoing the buttons on his shirt he did his best not to take the stairs three at a time. He didn't want to frighten her.
Upstairs, Kathy stood by the bed. Gone was the formality of a white wedding dress. Now she stood in a simple, beautiful, but rather sexy, white satin nightgown. She had been waiting for him.
Before Mark could speak, Kathy said, "I have to warn you. I don't have my contacts in. At this distance you are back to being a brown blur. A brown blur I happen to love, but still a blur."
Mark came right up to her, their bodies close enough to touch, and brought his face down to hers. Seductively he replied, "Don't worry. I plan to stay very close to you tonight." He brought his lips to hers and the kiss flamed up between them. He reclined her back to the bed, removed the rest of his tux, and then joined her on the bed.
He felt her tremble, and gently kissed her and said, "I love you, Kathy." She caressed his face with her hand and replied, "I love you, too." Then the night burned with a special fire.
The sunlight glowed in the window of the gatehouse the next morning. Mark couldn't help but return to the thoughts that he had the night before. He didn't deserve to be this happy. He lay in bed with Kathy's head on his chest, and realized he had had sex before, but had never really made love. That was what he had done last night, made love. Today, in the sunlight, he was devoted to Kathy in a new way, and their love was unexpectedly richer and stronger.
He noticed the time, and could not fight a laugh.
"I hope that isn't meant for me," Kathy said teasing him. She brought her head up to see his face.
"No, I was thinking that Hardcastle just gave me, well us, the best wedding gift."
Kathy was puzzled, and wondered what he was talking about.
"It is well past 6:30 and he skipped playing basketball today. That, like, never happens."
Kathy didn't quite understand the significance, he could tell. He hated to tell her that she would understand soon enough. She rose up and kissed him, before he could offer explanations. He responded in kind, and the honeymoon recommenced.
Suddenly, there were three brief bangs on the door.
"I knew it was too good to be true," he said dryly, reluctantly pulled himself away from his wife, and hopped out of bed. Sliding on his pants he dashed downstairs to the door.
Sure enough it was Hardcastle.
"Ah, Judge—we're kinda busy in here."
"I know. I know. I just wanted to bring you breakfast," Milt said bringing a full tray from around the corner.
"Thanks, Judge," Mark replied thinking they could use the food, because he had no intention of leaving the gatehouse that day.
"Also, I am taking off to go to stay with Gene Anderson up by the lake, until Monday night. We are going to do some fishing, so the house will be all yours."
"You don't have to leave, Judge," Mark began in protest. He hated to think they were chasing him out of his house.
Milt was quick to reply, "No. You kids have to wait for a proper honeymoon, because of your classes on Monday. This is the least I can do."
Mark was incredulous, "The least you can do? We live here, Judge. You throw us a wonderful wedding...whaddya mean the least. You have done it all Milton C. Hardcastle, and we won't forget it. I won't forget it."
Hardcastle started to get uncomfortable; his face took on a crabby protest. Mark wouldn't let him respond, and said, "I'll see you Monday, Judge."
Milt grinned in response, and said, "See ya then, kid."
THE END
Author's Note:
This was my attempt at a more humorous theme for Hardcastle and McCormick, with a twist of sentimentality. I also finally got to marry of Mark to Kathy, something I have wanted to do since "One of the Girls from Accounting." I also wanted to hint at the theme of family in this story. The original series was so rich with father/son allusions, that adding Kathy needs to emphasize that they are now expanding to a family with a bigger future.
There are two things that I always believed when the series faded in that last episode: First, that Mark would one day be a judge, much like Milt. Second, that Mark would never leave Gull's Way. It was his home now. So I see him raising a family and getting older. Now, if the story were real, I can imagine a now somewhat crustier Judge Mark (needs an initial) McCormick letting another ex-con have a second chance...but that is another story.
