Meant to Fail

by ntlpurpolia

How I imagine Olivia feels after the fight in S5E5, Baby It's Cold Outside. Olitz-ish. One shot. NOTE: FLAMES WILL BE DELETED. I DO NOT BELIEVE FITZ IS THAT HORRIBLE BUT SHONDA MAKES HIM THAT WAY AND I AM TRYING TO STAY CANON.

"There is no us! There is no jam, there is no Vermont!" And there wasn't. There was nothing left of their relationship. It was, and always had been, meant to be, but now she wondered if it hadn't always been meant to fail. They loved each other. It had never been a question of love. It had been questions of power, of politics, of scandal.

There was always control in their relationship: He was the POTUS, and she had power over him, thrilling, heady, power, over 1600 Penn. And then somewhere along the line, that had turned into power over Fitz, over the amazing, brilliant man she knew and wanted and had fallen in love with.

And there was the root of their problems - he was the man who loved her, worshipped her mind and her body and her soul. Yet he was also the man who called her a hen in his henhouse, the man who summoned her places, the man who tried to make her into someone she wasn't for his own desires - yet he desired her, he had said so himself over the phone the things he wanted to do to her. The things she wanted him to do to her. The things she couldn't stop him from doing to her.

Olivia couldn't stop him, because even though she controlled him, even though everyone called her the power behind the throne, even though she'd put him on the throne, even though she was Olivia Pope, and yet she still couldn't stop him from controlling her, from snapping his fingers and having her come running, just because she couldn't stop herself from being drawn to him.

It was always don't touch me, because the second he touched her, he could ask her for anything and she'd give it to him.

The second he touched her, she'd become a slave to his will, his to do with as he wished.

The only problem was, he'd always ask for too much. He'd ask for too much and act as though she was someone she wasn't, someone who needed to be saved and taken care of and someone who couldn't do the things she was capable of, brilliant at.

He knew she was brilliant, he knew she was a White House animal, a big dog, yet he still couldn't take her seriously. He still wanted her as First Lady to his president - only she wasn't even that. She was First Mistress, then First Girlfriend, given the duties of waving and smiling when he knew, when he knew she was so much more than that.

They were meant to be. They tried, and they were meant to fail.