Fred and George Weasley, for all of their splendor and trickery, were not necessarily ladies' men. They were, in fact, quite the opposite. Neither really dated nor had any particular interest in any of the girls at Hogwarts. It only added to their appeal, however, which made them chased but not chasers. The fact that every guy wanted to be them and that every girl wanted them made them the most popular boys at the school. Unintentionally, of course.
The only problem they had was with their studies. They were undoubtedly brilliant, but not when it came to homework. They were able to come up with so many tricks and traps and toys and treats but they did not apply any of their brilliance to their actual schoolwork. This exasperated both their parents and their Professors.
Finally, after a particularly hilarious display in her Transfiguration class courtesy of the twins only a month into classes, Professor McGonagall decided that their brains needed to be channeled at least until they graduated. She decided that they needed to be tutored. Knowing the twins quite well from the numerous detentions that they spent with her, she realized that this was not going to fly well with them but she knew that it was necessary. She took counsel with Professor Dumbledore who wholeheartedly agreed with her idea.
"Well, that's just fantastic!" the headmaster exclaimed.
So Professor McGonagall started her search for the twin's tutor. Hermione Granger was of course the first choice but Professor McGonagall knew that she and the twins didn't exactly get along all of the time and would probably be bickering most of the time and nothing would get done. Instead she found Onyx Atwood, who was perhaps just as smart as Hermione and also much easier to get along with. She was a quiet 6th year, as far as Professor McGonagall knew, and with little other obligations. The next time our good Professor saw our good little heroine she asked Onyx if she would mind tutoring the twins.
"Miss Atwood, a word please," she called to the girl as she saw her in the hall. McGonagall ushered her into her classroom.
"Yes Professor?" Onyx responded, tucking her black hair behind her ear, her grey eyes scanning McGonagall for any hint of why she was being called into the room. She was never in trouble so she had no clue as to what this meeting could possibly be about.
"I have a favor to ask of you," she began. "Being one of the brightest witches in your year, I have two students in your year who are much in need of a good tutor."
Ever willing to help out the head of her house, Onyx said, "I could manage that, I do have a free period this year. Who would I be tutoring?"
McGonagall hesitated, "Fred and George Weasley."
Onyx paled. She knew the twins would not take to the scheme very well and also they had a sort of rivalry. More than one time Onyx had usurped the twins in a prank or two. And they had never forgiven her. She bit her lip, "I'm not so sure."
"Please, you are the best option," Professor McGonagall practically pleaded with poor Onyx. McGonagall's eyes widened, imploring Onyx to come to her side.
She couldn't let her favorite Professor down. "For you Professor, of course."
"Thank you. I am so relieved and Merlin knows they need the help. I will be sure to give you extra credit and house points for your efforts."
Onyx smiled. "I am happy to help." She was happy to help, though Fred and George would sure be tough pupils. For McGonagall, she had no choice but to say yes. Plus, she was getting extra credit for this, and everyone could use extra credit.
Next came the hard part: telling the twins that they had a tutor. McGonagall was sure to be kind but firm. She sat Fred and George down after classes at her desk and proceeded to tell them the 'bad news'. They took it surprisingly well, especially Fred who quite honestly didn't like the reputation as a 'slacker'. Neither of them liked the idea of Onyx being their tutor, however.
"What?!", cried George. "She's our great tutor?!"
"Yes, Professor," Fred added. "Couldn't you choose somebody else? Please? She isn't exactly the best person to tutor people. I mean, she's so smart. Who wants to be tutored by somebody who's smart?"
Professor McGonagall looked at them both sternly over her glasses. This was getting to be difficult, just as she had feared. And expected.
"Fine then," she said. "Who would you suggest instead? Draco? I am sure he would love to help with this situation. Or perhaps I should ask every single one of your Professors to help in their areas of expertise. Snape, I am sure, would be happy to help you two after all you have done for him."
The twins stared at her open-mouthed in horror. Then George grinned. "You know that nobody would agree to tutor us, Professor. Not one of the other Professors. Besides, they are all so busy…"
McGonagall raised her eyebrows. George gulped.
"Are you so sure of that, Mr. Weasley?" she asked him. "Because I have already discussed this issue in the Professor's lounge and every one of my colleagues seemed to be in favor of helping in any way necessary."
Fred gulped next. "Are you serious, Professor?"
"Yes, Mr. Weasley. I am."
The twins looked at each other and saw the same thing in each other's eyes: defeat. But there was no way the Weasley twins were going down without a fight. If they had to have Onyx as their tutor, they were going to do things their way and in no time she would quit. Simple as that. They didn't need to be tutored; they were leaving the next year, anyway. Well, maybe not next year, but sometime soon.
"Fine," George told McGonagall. "When do we start?"
Apparently that night.
"Man, this stinks. Now we have to have a tutor. This is going to waste so much time! How on earth in the name of Hogwarts are we going to work on our Project now?" Fred cried on the way back to the Common Room where they were supposed to meet Onyx for their first session. They had considered just skipping out, but Professor McGonagall warned them that she was going to talk to Onyx daily to find out how they were doing. That way she would know if they had skipped or not and she warned them that there would be serious consequences if they did.
They got to the portrait of the Fat Lady and just stood there, not wanting to go in. All they had to do was say the password and the torture would start. They just had to say the password. Any minute now…just say the password…any time you want…just say it…
"Are you two coming in or not?" the Fat Lady demanded impatiently. "I have a party to get to and I can't be late again."
"Fine, 'Tulip'," George said in a monotone voice.
"About time…" the Fat Lady muttered as she swung open.
The twins stepped into the common room and looked around. They didn't see Onyx luckily and decided to just sneak up to their dormitory and let her come up to get them. Which she probably wouldn't do, so they really lucked out, until they saw her by the window. However, her back was facing them and so she didn't see them. They started to tiptoe towards the stairs when she saw their reflection in the window. She laughed as she saw them in the sneaking/tiptoe position. As much as she hated to admit it, they were hilarious.
She waved them over, wondering why she agreed to do this. There was no way they were going to listen to her, they were going to find every distraction imaginable and not do any work and slack and she would be blamed and get in trouble and lose all of her extra credit and be hated by the Professors and Professor McGonagall would no longer trust her…
They walked over with the same look on their faces as she had: resignation. They could all almost hear the funeral march as they walked closer and closer to her table. They survived the treacherous walk, however, and reluctantly sat down in the two chairs at Onyx's table.
It was awkward and nobody said anything until Fred suddenly announced that he was awkward. They all stared at him; George because they had both agreed to give Onyx the well-deserved silent treatment and Onyx because it was so random. Nonetheless, they all burst into laughter and the fog was lifted.
"So," Onyx started.
"Bother," said Fred quite suddenly.
Onyx looked at him. "Excuse me?"
"Ignore him," George instructed. "Do go on, this is fascinating."
"Right," Onyx said, rather disgruntled. "Anyway, I don't think that any of us really want to be here-"
"Bother," Fred said again.
"I get it, Fred." Onyx sighed.
"Bother."
"Fred! Please, stop it. Let's just get this over with so we can go do important things."
George gave her an odd look as Fred got up and moved to the seat next to Onyx. "Important things? What do you do that's important? Tutor people?"
"Well, I try. It gets quite difficult-"
"Bother," Fred said, pushing her shoulder.
Onyx shoved Fred off his chair and he fell to the ground and there was an explosion.
"AH!"
Onyx stared in shock at the crumpled form that used to be Fred Weasley. "Fred?"
He opened one eye and looked at her. "Ouch."
She knelt at his side. She was going to get in so much trouble for this. She killed a Weasley! "Are you okay?" She put her hand on his singed forehead because that seemed like the right thing to do at the time.
By this time the entire Gryffindor house was gathered in the common room to behold the sight of Fred's prank that had apparently backfired. He was on the ground and his clothes and skin were black from the blast. People started to laugh but others were already calling for Madam Pomfrey.
"Fred! Fred, can you hear me?!" George ran to his twin's side. "Fred, do you see a light?"
"Why would he see a light, he's not dying-" Onyx started, but George cut her off.
"Hush up, murderer! You've done enough damage. Fred, talk to me."
Fred groaned in response.
George wailed. "No!"
Onyx sighed. "Fred, do you hurt any where? Is anything broken?"
"Do you see a light? Fred, do you see a light?!" George demanded.
Fred nodded.
"Go towards the light, Fred. Go towards the light!" George instructed, looking close to tears.
Onyx gave a yelp. "No, don't go towards the light, stay away from it! George, shut up!"
But George continued to urge his brother to proceed to the light at the end of the tunnel. Finally, Onyx had it with George's 'help' and so she shoved him away.
"Get out of here, George, you're not helping. Shove off."
George fell to the floor with a blast.
"Oh no," Onyx sighed as everyone rushed to George.
"You've killed my wenis." He groaned.
"I what?" she asked in shock.
"My wii exploded." Fred added in a faint voice.
"Excuse me?!"
"Oh, my aching chintacles." George and Fred moaned in unison.
By now Madam Pomfrey had arrived and Onyx decided that she had had enough of this bunk. She pulled the nurse to the side and the twins saw her whisper in her ear. Madam Pomfrey nodded with a smile. Uh-oh.
Two stretchers were conjured and soon the boys were each on one and on their way to the hospital wing. It was a silent ride as Madam Pomfrey decided that she needed to tell the boys her life story. On the plus side…well, there was no plus side from their point of view. When they got to the hospital wing, Madam Pomfrey set them up on some beds and then hurried off to get their medicine. Fred and George panicked.
"Man, look what you got us into, George. It was your idea to go with dung bombs in our pockets!" Fred whispered lest Madam Pomfrey hear them.
"What? Are you blaming this on me? You're the one who sat next to her!"
"Oh yeah. Well, none of this would have happened if you hadn't had the brilliant idea to go armed with dung bombs in our pants!" Fred cried. He quickly lowered his voice. "I mean, really, the whole tutoring thing isn't such a bad idea when you think about it."
George stared at his now-disowned twin. "I am now officially disowning you."
"Oh, come on. You really like being a slacker?"
"No, I prefer to call it…"he thought for a minute. "Not serious about my studies. A lack of interest, one might say."
Fred sighed as Madam Pomfrey came in with a rather suspicious looking bottle in her hand. She poured some of it into two glasses. Two large glasses. Fred gulped.
"Here" she said as she handed each of them a glass. "This will take care of the burn. I want to see it all gone, boys."
George made a face as he sniffed the concoction. "This stuff smells like Draco's socks," he said disgustedly.
Madam Pomfrey gave him a funny look. "How do you know what Draco's socks smell like?" she asked curiously.
George simply whistled innocently.
Fred took a sip of the medicine and almost spit it out. "What is this stuff?!" he cried. "It tastes like cod liver oil mixed with prune juice!"
That was, in fact, what it was, but neither Madam Pomfrey nor Onyx was going to tell them that. It had been Onyx's brilliant idea for the gross mix to get them back for pretending to die.
"How on earth do you know what those would taste like together? What do you boys do in your spare time? If you play with concoctions all the time why aren't you doing better in Potions?" Madam Pomfrey asked.
"Hey," George frowned. "No need to get personal."
Madam Pomfrey shrugged then said, "Get drinking, you two. You need to finish that."
Fred looked suspicious. "Is this really medicine?"
Madam Pomfrey nodded. "It's exactly what you boys need."
George held his nose and started chugging away. After a few seconds, he stopped drinking and saw to his dismay that he had hardly drunk anything at all. Fred, on the other hand, took a small sip, then made a face. Then he took another sip, and made another face. Madam Pomfrey struggled with herself not to smile but it was terribly difficult. She finally broke and had to smother the laugh with a cough.
"Excuse me." She coughed as she ran out of the room. She had to run into the hall to keep them from hearing her uproarious laughter. Unfortunately, she left the room, so the twins were free to get rid of the nasty nastystuff if they only hurried. Fortunately, but not for the twins, Onyx came in just as Madam Pomfrey left. They both sighed in disappointment.
"Hi, boys." Onyx greeted them. "Glad to see you aren't dead."
Fred quickly fell against his pillow and let his tongue hang out of his mouth with his eyes closed.
"Ha ha, very funny. Now finish up that stuff. Madam Pomfrey says it's just the thing you scoundrels need." Onyx walked over to them and sniffed the medicine. She made a face and tried not to laugh. "At least it's not really thick. That would be disgusting."
"This isn't disgusting?" George cried out. "I have never tasted anything worse and I once licked a dungbomb."
" Yeah Mrs. 'that's not disgusting', if it isn't so disgusting why don't you drink it?!" Fred challenged.
Onyx looked at him in sympathy. "Poor, poor Fred. Don't you know that you aren't supposed to take medicine if you don't need it?"
"Yeah, well, I don't need this." George told her.
"Ha ha, you admit it!" Onyx cried in triumph.
"Admit what?" George asked innocently. "That I don't like being poisoned?"
Madam Pomfrey walked back in, her face rather red from laughter. "It's not poison, Mr. Weasley. So drink it up before I force it down your throat."
Both guys started to chug it but only got a fourth of the way through the glass before they started to gag. Amid the gagging they asked for water. Onyx complied and searched for something to put in the water, but found nothing. So the twins lucked out and got just plain water.
Finally, after an hour or so, the medicine was gone and the boys felt sick. They quit complaining when Madam Pomfrey offered more medicine. They had to spend the night in the hospital wing, and miss Quidditch practice, which Onyx later told them was very fun as they all had to chase after the Snitch. Oliver Wood said that it was an exercise to increase speed and agility and to give them all more respect for Harry. And for some fun. Nobody caught it but Onyx got very close. This made the twins very mad and all through the night they plotted for her demise.