Title: Anorexic Perfectionist
Author: Her.xx
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Hermione thinks back to the time she made herself throw up intentionally for the first time ever, at the age of fourteen.
Disclaimer: I do not own anything Harry Potter related. If I did, would I be writing these fics? I'm just borrowing the characters for fun, don't sue me.
Warning! Contains mature subject matter. Not for those who have weak stomaches.
Anorexic Perfectionist
Looking back, the first time I made myself throw up, I thought maybe I was just thinking irrationally at the time. After all, I was an unnatractive fourteen year old witch. And also an "insufferable know-it-all" according to one of my best friends Ron Weasley. But, then again, he'd always said things like that.
I remember that occasion when I made myself sick like it was yesterday...
Flashback
I got out of Charms, and headed for Moaning Myrtle's bathroom on the second floor, feet pounding against the tiles as fast as my legs would carry me..I was insulted by Malfoy and his whole calling me a Mudblood. I don't know why it bothered me so much this time, I mean, it wasn't like he'd never called me a Mudblood before. So why did it hurt so much this time? Maybe, it was because of the stress overload, what with the TriWizard Tournament and all. And having the Beauxbatons and Durmstrang crowds here at Hogwarts.
Anyways, I got to the bathroom after a few minutes of full out running, and collapsed to my knees in a cubicle, after I had checked that Myrtle wasn't in the toilet. (Thank goodness.) I sat for a minute, catching my breath, trying to think of a way to take the pain away. I don't know why I was thinking like this. After all, everyone in the school had known me to be sensible and calm. Not the type of girl who would want a healthy escape valve. Not the type of girl I turned out to be. I remember thinking of purging..It couldn't be that hard. After all, I had heard Parvati and Lavender talk about it all the time. "Just stick your finger down your throat." was what Parvati had said. So, I settled myself in front of the commode, took a deep breath, and put my index finger down my throat. But, nothing. So, I moved my finger around, and found a spot that seemed worthy of gagging off of. I held my finger there, pushing farther, deeper and harder into that spot. My stomach heaved, getting ready to expel my recent lunch...The kidney pie and mashed potatoes I had had just before Charms, in fact. My stomach heaved, and as I felt the vomit rise in my throat, I pulled my finger out, and watched as the contents hit the toilet water. I coughed and gasped at the same time. I wiped my mouth, and went in for another round. The second time I stuck my finger down my throat, nothing came up my esophagus, rather, it was almost as if I had coughed it up. The disadvantage was that I didn't pull my finger out fast enough. I cleaned up my mess, staggered out of the bathroom with my stuff, and headed for Potions.
End Flashback
Now, two years later, sixteen years old, and with You-Know-- er, I mean, Voldemort on the move, I try to keep my purging to a minimum. But, sometimes it doesn't work out to my advantage. Nowadays, recently, Ron and Harry have been on my back constantly, asking me if I'm alright, if I've eaten enough for meals. I know they do it because they are my friends, but I still feel bad for them. Guilty. Knowing that they don't understand, and shouldn't have to deal with a girl who despises the way she looks. That's why I don't involve them with my purging. Because I know they wouldn't understand, and I just don't want to get them into my problem. My problem with anorexia.
The End
A/N: Well, I hope you guys like it. Please review. :-)