A/N: So I had this idea last November and have been putting it off, with no idea how to actually go about writing it. I decided to see if I could write a little humor, but I think it's been a failed experiment. I don't own any of this, yada yada.

OOOOOOO

Okay, this is awkward. I know you're probably wondering why I'm all the way up here, sitting on top of this statue. Well, it's a long story. ... You really want to know? Well, I guess I should start at the beginning. Now, everyone knows that my and Hermione's fights are loud but harmless. But Harry and Hermione's are not. Those two are probably the most stubborn people I know (outside of my family, of course. If you've never seen my mum and sister in a stand-off, I don't recommend it.) When each of them insists that they are right and refuses to see the other's side, they don't make a fuss. Their words sting like venom and their actions are specially designed to wound. It's really scary.

As any smart man would, I decided to keep myself out of it. After all, how am I supposed to choose between my friends? But apparently that didn't sit well with either of them, so I've been hanging with Seamus and Dean a lot, just keeping away.

Everyone saw the fight. It started when Harry walked down the staircase to the common room, his nose in his Potions book. Hermione hates that thing. Calls it 'rubbish', 'unsafe', 'sketchy'... But then again, she could just be jealous that for once she's not the best at everything.

So when she saw Harry coming down the stairs, unsuspecting, she tried to snatch it from his hand. (Of course that backfired on her, with Harry's Quidditch reflexes.) Harry lost his head and started going off on her, saying she should just stay out of it and quit bothering him.

I don't completely blame the bloke, I mean he's been on edge for a long time now. And her nagging can get quite annoying sometimes. But this time he went too far. Hermione started tearing up and just ran out of the common room, crying. And everyone saw it. Harry knew what he'd done, I could see it in his face, but then again he wasn't going to admit it.

It was yesterday when it really started getting bad. Ginny approached Harry during lunch when she thought no one was listening in, and asked Harry to please get rid of it, all quiet-like. But no, Harry determined that she was in on it with Hermione and told her to bugger off and mind her own business.

Having grown up with Ginny, I expected her to hex him or at least call him a git, but I was surprised when I just saw a hurt look on her face and she walked away without a word. Now, no one, and I mean no one, is allowed to hurt my little sister, even if he is my best mate, so naturally it fell to me to defend her. I gave him a good tongue-lashing and stood up and walked off without waiting for his reply.

Eventually Hermione came and found me, assuming I was on her side (which I'm not, I'm not on a side), to find someone to complain to. Ginny told her how hurt she was (apparently they talk, about girl stuff and all that) and Hermione didn't like Harry's reaction one bit (as she made that so painfully clear to me. I swear, I think my ears are still bleeding.) Anyways, it was a few hours later in the common room that Hermione finally approached Harry again.

She marched right up to him, me trailing behind, and began to go off on him about how he shouldn't treat Ginny that way and she was just trying to help. The argument went on for some time, but in the end Harry just right out yelled "She doesn't care, she just had to pick a side and she picked yours!"

Hermione got real quiet for a moment. I reckon she was standing on the edge of a decision. But finally she turned to Harry and said, "She's in love with you Harry, can't you see that?"

Me of all people should have been shocked at this, but I wasn't. I reckon I might have seen it in her face once or twice, even when she was with Dean. But I think Harry was completely shocked. He outright refused to believe Hermione, claiming he couldn't believe she would stoop so low.

So now you ask me, "What does this have to do with you sitting on top of a statue?"

Well, it doesn't. Peeves set off some dung bombs in the corridor and I was just trying to get away from the stench. But anyways, now I'm stuck. Thanks for asking though... You have a nice day too.