This is a fun idea that I've been wanting to test out. Writing this will be admittedly easier than other stories, since diaries are only a person's thoughts, little setup is required.

This is a Naruto series recap from Sakura's point of view, as written in her diary. Except that Sakura is a very different person in her diary than what we'd expect. Expect massive (and I mean massive) liberties taken with the character, which is owned by Masashi Kishimoto, as well as basically everything else mentioned in this diary.

The Sakura Diaries

Ninja Disclaimer: The following information is to be viewed by authorized personnel only. Anyone below Jonin clearance is not allowed to view this document. Failure to comply to guidelines will result in 3 years of ninja prison, where you should take care not to drop the ninja soap. Alternatively, sentences could include 100 hours of ninja community service.

This document is read-only. Under no circumstances should the information be modified. Failure to comply will result in immediate termination from the ninja military.

Forward:

I want to thank no one in particular, as these are my personal diaries, and the asshole who leaked these will have my chakra-infused fist shoved up his poop-chute. That is all. Thank you. Goodbye.

...

WHY ARE YOU STILL READING THIS (the caps make my anger apparent)!

Chapter 1: Academy Graduate Tests

Dear Diary,

Dear diary, what a clichéd way to begin these ultimate secret diaries that no one will absolutely find out about (ahem). I suppose I should write my name down, as in the impossible event someone reads about these, all kinds of awkward hi-jinks will ensue. My name is Sakura Haruno, but you can call me Haruno Sakura if you live on a bunch of isolated islands. My parents named me after the Sakura tree, with its beautiful pink blossoms. You know, like the color of my hair. It's kind of racist when you think about it (or it really isn't). I will not name my parents in here, because if I do that, and should they find out about this, connecting them to this diary would only shame them more. I may or may not decide to include their names later, just for fun.

So, about the day's events. What are my thoughts? Graduation day is finally coming up. I heard how early you graduate determines if you are to become a jonin or not. I heard some good ones, like Kurenai, graduated when they were 10 years old. They became genin when they were freakin' toddlers! So, there goes my hopes at that, at the not so fresh age of 12. And let me tell you, non-existent audience, settling for chunin, sucks. So, with that aspiration utterly crushed, what else to I have to go for in life? Well, I could try my luck in the oh-so volatile landscape of love. Although, a certain blonde-bimbo apparently has it out for me in that field. What pleasure it would give me to show her up.

But, one thing at a time. First, I have to pass the exam. Which, last time I checked, consists of a transformation test, which is easy, and a Kage Bushin test, which is a piece of cake. So, this test will probably be a sitch.

Anyways that's it for now. Signed and dated.

P.S: I'm going to say Shannaro from now on. It'll be my personal signature. I have absolutely no idea what it means, but I'm going to own it. Because I need something to identify myself with, other than personality and character, I'm going with a verbal tic, because that's easy.

Entry No. 2

Dear Diary,

Well, the exam was different than what I expected, in that it was even easier than I anticipated. I mean seriously, I graduated in my sleep. So now, I'm a genin. I'm gonna get a sensei, and I'm going to be paired up with two other aspiring chumps, because that makes for all kinds of awkward social situations. Shannaro! See? Doesn't that make me stand out more? Shannaro! Ugh, I just love the ring to that. It's kind of like that dickhead Naruto's Dattebayo, only it doesn't make me want to punch myself in the face, because that would be self-abuse, and I would be considered a self-hating emo.

Speaking of emos, Sasuke's behind was looking fine. I do remember Ino saying something about how she'll beat me to win his heart, or whatever crap she was spewing that day. Seriously, breaking our fragile friendship just because it so happened that I liked the same guy. Or maybe I did that. I don't know, for her, finding out that I liked Sasuke-koon (aren't honorifics fun?) was the most traumatic day of her life, but for me, it was a Tuesday. Or a Wednesday. It was probably a Monday, but that's on the account that Mondays suck.

And speaking of dickheads, surprise surprise, Naruto failed the exam. You almost feel sorry for the guy. Almost. Until you find out that he's a gigantic prick who loves to defile our sacred ninja monuments. He's the type of guy who, if he liked someone, but they liked someone else, he would assault that someone else and transform into him to seduce that someone. That being said, I think I'm on his radar. And I don't mean, I'm that stray object off to the side that gives off a faint green beep. I think I'm in his sights, and he's piloting his proverbial ninja submarine towards my gluteus. Now, how I found this out, was rather clever of me, as I possess keen powers of observation honed by many years of academy study. I found out when he said to me (in his chain-smoking raspy voice) "Sakura-chan, I have a crush on you!". He then said Dattebayo, or believe it, or some other crap like that. Now, I don't exactly know whether he appended "-chan" or "-kun" at the end of my name. He probably should have appended "-desu desu", because I have no idea what that means.

Anyways, I'm signing off. Tomorrow, I find out who my teammates are. I hope I'm paired up with Shikamaru, he seems like a cool guy. Of course, the ultimate hope is Sasuke, but I like to keep my expectations tempered. Shannaro!

End of document.