I HATE Ash Ketchum. So what better way to express how much I truly despise him, than writing 20 fun ways to kill him. =]. I might as well say I don't mind fan fiction versions of Ash but I hate the real him. I hate how he gets all the starters, and that apparently cares about pokemon more than other people combined, I just hate him so much.*Evil music* Enjoy. I do not own Pokemon.
If you want to be a great Pokemon Master, there is only one thing you need to do. KILL ASH KETCHUM! Get rid of your biggest competition, so I'm supplying you with 20 ways to kill him and enjoy it.
If you have a fire type pokemon, burn him slowly and painfully. Sit back, relax and listen to his screams of pure agony *content sigh*.
Drown him. All you have to do is send out a water type that knows surf, corner him and then waves away.
Scyther is a very dangerous pokemon with those nasty looking blades. Perfect. Decapitating is the way to go. It works against everything =D.
Beat him to death with either a fighting type, or just beat him up yourself. All those Thunderbolt's or Thunder shock's must of made is bones frail and weak. Though I don't understand why he asks Pikachu to use it on him.
Stab him. Hey if you have very dangerous pokemon then why can't you have knives.
Send Misty on his pathetic ass. Just tell her that he thinks she's gay, then you get to watch him die painfully but you also don't get arrested ;).
Electrocute him. You have the pleasure of seeing him spaz before he dies.
Crush his skull. Pokemon use exp. share so put it on his head and keep on tightening it until his skull slowly cracks and smashes his brain.
Squish him. Easy solution, catch a big pokemon. Lay Ash on the ground and release it. It might not be as fun as the others but it will definitely kill him.
Tie him to a chair and teach him the whole periodic table. It will blow his tiny brain to pieces.
Half-way there now.
Shackle him to the ground and let a stampede of Rapidash stomp all over him.
Smash a T.V over his head.
Play Justin Bieber on a ipod and plug it into his ears. His eardrums will go boom and his brain will shatter from the badness of Justin Bieber's voice.
Get a pokemon to use Pyschic and tear his limbs apart.
Get a Ghost-type to possess him and jump him off a cliff and at the last second leave his body.
I myself will gladly kill him, I just need a plastic hammer, nail, something pointy and something blunt and he will be mutilated so badly that Jack The Ripper himself will puke at the sight of him.
Hit him over the head with a hammer, kidnap him and then make him do sick games that can make him wish he just died already.
Convince him to commit suicide. Hey he's already as stupid as a Magikarp.
Team Rocket will definitely want to kill him with all the times he's screwed up their plan. Though it might take a while before they realise that mugging him won't actually count as something bad to do to him.
Wrap him up in meat, dangle him over a lake, and wait for a Gyrarados to jump up and eat him.
And I'm done my 20 ways to kill Ash Ketchum. Some might seem sick but honestly I don't care. I really enjoyed writing this so I really won't care what nasty reviews you'll send me like 'You're sick. Get a life you creep.' Or 'Was your Childhood messed up because dude, you're disturbing.' So what if I am. I am proud of the way I am. XD