The Diary of the Fully Uncrazy and Sane Head Girl

by BlueRazberry

Lily is normal. Her mum is pregnant at 46. She thinks she turned her ex boyfriend gay. She's getting harassed by a first year. She thinks James Potter’s bum is cute, and that they should teach James Potter 101 instead of History of Magic. Normal. Right?

September 2
Breakfast

I do not know what is wrong with me these days. I mean really, I'm usually a perfectly composed and put together person, but lately, I've had reasons to think otherwise.

Let's start from the beginning shall we? It all started on September 1st- the nightmare of all nightmares began.

This is the day when my summer vacation ends, and I go back to my school, Hogwarts.

It started out perfectly normal; honestly, I woke up, had breakfast, brushed my teeth, took a shower, and hopped out of the door with my mum after I had said good-bye to my dad and grunted at my sister.

The ride to the train station was awfully quiet. Too quiet. I was staring at my mother who was staring determinedly out the windshield. We're not usually quiet people, my mum and me, I mean, when we're together things can really get loud.

The only time I had ever seen her looking like this is when my parakeet flew away while I was at school and she had to be the one to tell me. So, from that evaluation of the past, I was guessing this face was something to be scared of. Bad news awaited me; I knew it from the start.

And so when we finally got to the train station, and she pulled into one of the tiny parking spots made for the flashy little convertibles and not my mum's suburban, and just turned to engine off. So without the friendly roar of the car, and the soft sounds of country music (my mother's favorite) in the background, it was suddenly eerily quiet.

My mum unbuckled her seatbelt and turned around to face me.

My mum: Lily, honey, there's something I've wanted to tell you for a while.
Me: Okay…what is it?
My mum: Well, you know it was your father's and my anniversary last month, and we went to Bermuda….well, something happened around that time.
Me: Wait, don't tell me? Did you catch one of those deadly tropical viruses? MUM, I TOLD YOU TO GET THOSE SHOTS THAT DAY AT THE DOC-
My mum: Oh honey, it's nothing like that. It's just that, well. Lily, honey, sweetheart……. I guess there's no other way to say this, I'm pregnant.
Me: YOU'RE WHAT?
My mum: Honey, I'm preg-
Me:: oh, I KNOW MUM.
My mum: Oh Lily, I'm sorry we didn't tell you sooner….
Me: I'm going to be late for the train…

Then I got out of the car, opened the trunk and took my suitcase out. And….I walked off without another word to my mum.

I am such a bitch.

I'm a horrible, horrible child.

And then after that whole spiel I felt horrible, lower than dirt actually-wait no, lower than what's lower than dirt which is….oh well, what it actually is doesn't matter as much as the metaphorical meaning.

After making an oath to myself that I would write my mother the nicest make-up letter complete with some of her favorite chocolates from Honeydukes, I headed in the direction of platform 9 ¾.

It was rather crowded today; there were probably tons of Hogwarts students mixed into the greater population of muggles. It wasn't hard to spot who was who, the wizards and witches had the tendency of dressing in the oddest fashions, and I nearly laughed out loud when I found a familiar face in the coward dressed in an orange pantsuit. Honestly, they should have a class called 'Dressing for Muggles' it'll probably do more good than a class like History of Magic.

When I got onto the platform, I found myself running into the one person I didn't want to see. I didn't want to see him then or ever, really. But there Jonas stood, directly in front of me. After breaking up on not so good terms, I didn't expect him to talk to me, ever. But he was so not doing the whole ignoring thing, instead, he got this really big smile on his face, and it lit up his eyes and everything.

I have a secret to tell: I'm a sucker for a pretty pair of eyes. And unfortunately for me, everyone seems to have pretty eyes, whether they're blue or brown or green or hazel.

But anyways, he stood in front of me with this completely ridiculous grin which lit up his beautiful aquamarine eyes- wait did I already say that? Well, I found myself melting all over again. He was just too beautiful. He was so beautiful I wanted to hug him to death.

But he did it (hugging) before I could stop myself from hugging him first. And while I was in that hug I couldn't help but notice his arms. He definitely didn't have those before.

And when we parted he got out his whole "Hey Lily…" in that melting husky voice of his.

"Look," he began "Lily, I'm sorry for the way we ended things, and I just want you to know that I really hope we can be friends…again."

And he said it in the nicest way possible, and I just wanted to kiss him.

Okay, I admit it; I'm not completely over him, especially after I got dumped by him for Tim Bradshaw. I mean, I have the whole 'is it me that turned him gay' topic on my mind. I mean, can I be that bad of a kisser that he had to resort to kissing other guys? No one answer that, please.

I was about to answer with one of my great thoughts, but I felt some one jump on my back. And I heard a shriek of laughter come from the object on my back.

I knew only one person it could be. But I was too busy staring into Jonas's eyes to really care at that moment.

I heard a sigh emit from his mouth and he finished his sentence with "I'll talk to you later, okay? I just- I really want to talk to you Lily…about things"

And then he walked away, all six feet and two inches of him.

I felt the weight on my back give way, and soon I found myself staring into the deep brown eyes of my best friend: Jane.

Jane is so pretty. She's a lot prettier than I am. She has really nice long curly black hair and really deep colored eyes. She has the whole dark and mysterious thing going on.

I've known her for about six years now, so I knew the meaning of the look she gave me.

"You're not still brooding over him are you?"

But I gave out this really big sigh to tell her my answer, because I really didn't feel like talking at the moment.

"Lily, honey…for god sakes, the man is gay" she said it in that really nice voice of hers. The voice she uses when she wants to make someone feel better or when she's trying to convince someone so she can get her way.

I sighed again. I looked at my best friend, and sighed again.

"Lily. If I hear you sigh one more bloody time, I swear to god I'm-" Her pale cheeks got all red and her raven curls started bouncing round as she waved her finger at me.

"But Jannnee, he's so pretty. Why are all the pretty ones gay?"

"Because Lils, god makes it his duty to torture all of the hormone driven teenage girls, like us."

We heard the train blow its whistle at the moment, and we hurried to stack our trunks onto the train, and find an empty compartment. You know, before all of the loner first years got to them.

We thankfully, found one, although it was rather near the front of the train- I don't like the front of the train. I don't really know why, but I think it has to do with the fact that in grade school, whenever we took field trips, the teacher always sat at the front of the bus. Ands seeing as all my teachers loved me, I wanted to sit as far away from them as I possibly could. Make sense? Didn't think so.

We get into our compartment, and Jane gets all comfortable, she puts her legs up on the seat where they dangle from the edge uselessly, and she pulls out these amazing pictures. I swear I'll never get used to the fact that pictures can actually move.

"I'm guessing these are your ahh-maze-ing pictures of Sicily."

And really, they were. You could see the clear Mediterranean Sea in most of them, and it didn't surprise me a bit when I found some pictures of hot bodies on the beach thrown into the mix.

Jane had always been and is boy crazy.

I was irrupted from my picture looking as a tall blonde came into the door. She is my other best friend. She's originally from the states but she moved to England when she was ten or so. Again, I much tell you all my friends are prettier than I am. It's just to perfectly unfair. She has this really nice wispy blonde hair and these really light blue eyes. It's totally unfair. Everyone knows that guys like blondes better.

"Lisa!" said Jane and I in perfect unison.

Lisa smiled and was all like "Heeeeyy to you too!"

She strutted in, and flashed us her white smile again as she plopped down next to me.

"I almost thought you were going to miss the train again." Came Jane's reply.

"Hey! I've gotten better at waking up!"

"Of course you have."

"And I have. "

"Of course you have."

They both gave it up and simply grinned at each other.

"So Lily, Jane, I see you both have gotten paler."

Both my and Jane's protests were voiced. I mean it's not my fault that I just burn up every time that I get in the sun. (I figured this out even I was like five, let me tell you, it was NOT a good experience) I mean, honestly. Jane and I have always been ones to burn.

"Oh by the way Lily, the Head Boy is looking for you."

I slapped my forehead. I had completely forgotten that I had received that little, shiny gold badge in the post. Honestly, I don't know if I'll be able to find it again. I'm bad with things like that. I'm definitely not the person you want to give things for safe keeping. It's funny how most people think of me as this smart, perfectly organized girl.

Bah, you should see the inside of my school bag. Or even my dorm room.

I sighed and left for the compartment at the very head of the train. Which was like…only two compartments ahead (see! That's how close to the front of the train we were).

I walked into the prefect's compartment, but not before I almost tripped over the untucked carpet in the door. Well, okay, I sort-of half-tripped, but I got saved by the door, and I made this whole long burnk sound when I slammed into it.

So then, I'm just getting myself together before I open the door, you know, pulling up my pants and everything, because they slipped quite a bit (I knew I should have spent the time to find my ruddy belt) and I'm just reaching for the handle when the someone on the other side of the door opens it for me.

I found myself staring into these gorgeous hazel-ly sightly bluish eyes.

Oh man, I have to go, McGonagall is done passing out schedules, and I'm pretty sure my first class has already started.

September 2
Potions

Oh god, how embarrassing. I rushed to my first class of the year, and I knew I was late because there was absolutely bloody no one in the corridors, and I bumped into this tiny little first year. And you know I just HAD to show her to her first class because it really looked like she was about to cry, and I hate it when little kids cry, and because when other people cry, I cry and I wouldn't be caught dead crying for a little firstie.

And so after she explained to me that she didn't know where she was going and that her first class was Charms I just had to get all motherly for her.

So I ignored the fact that I was already bloody late to my first class, and took the little girl to her Charms class. Charms has always been my favorite class, and I'm sure Professor Flitwick loves me or something.

So we finally get to the classroom which is across the school from mine, and I take her inside.

The whole class just goes silent. Every single of the little pairs of beady little eyes is on me.

And then one of the bratty little first years exclaims

"Aren't you a little big to be a first year?"

The whole class breaks into laughter. Stupid little berk of a kid.

And THEN he says

"You can sit here next to me babe"

And he pats the seat next to him and everything. But you know of course, there's already some one sitting in it, so I reply (without thinking of course)

"Uh, there's someone already sitting there."

I am such a fool. Honestly. I don't know how Dumbledore saw it fit for me to be Head Girl. I really, truly don't.

So after apologizing to Professor Flitwick for interrupting his class and explaining I was simply showing the little first year, who turns out to be named Jasmine, and running out of his classroom with an extremely red face, I got to my own class forty minutes late.

I had to walk all the way to the dungeons I did. For my potions class. It's an easy enough class, but it's slightly boring. Lucky for me, the teacher adores me. It's quite…well, creepy. He's called Professor Slughorn, and he is more than slightly fat. Sorry, I know, I shouldn't be mean about it, but just stating the truth here.

Well, at least Slughorn was nice enough (after I explained why I was late) to excuse me from the day's activities and is allowing me to sit here and write. Although, I'm pretty sure he thinks I'm already taking notes on the potions we're going to brew this year because I have my potions book out and I'm glancing at it slightly every minute or two.

Hehe, I AM a conniving girl.

Wow, Jane just saw that last sentence, and is laughing hysterically.

This is our conversation (in whispers of course)

Me: I can be sneaky and manipulative when I want to
Jane: I'm sure you can, but not before you trip over something or blurt out something completely unrelated.
Me: Hey, I don't do that

Jane throws her pretty little head back, and simply laughs. Andd….the conversation is over.

Anyways, I shall tell you the rest of yesterday's adventures.

So the door opened on me, and I'm staring into these pretty eyes. And the person whose eyes are this beautiful hazel-ish blue color says

"You're late Evans."

And I suddenly realize exactly whose eyes I had just been staring into. And I end of stuttering for like a half an hour.

"Potter. You're- But you can't- Wait- What- How- YOU of all people was chosen as Head Boy?"

You see, Mr. James Potter, and I are not on such good terms. He is what you would call a jock, and he leads his posse the Marauders. He's not a very nice person. But he is however, easy on the eyes. He might even be more beautiful than Jonas.

And I know I'm not supposed to like him, because he is this evil, arrogant, big-headed prick, but honestly, the boy is the prefect picture of a man. His face is flawless, (not covered by annoying freckles like mine) why is it that all these boys have bloody perfect skin? And he has his really nice hair, that you can totally tell is all shiny and nice looking, and he actually has a nice tan, and he definitely has nice hands. I mean if you could only look at his hands, they're all big, and manly looking.

I have an odd fascination with hands, I know. And, for god sakes, he's so tall and it actually looks good on him, unlike me.

So, anyways, I respond with a lame-o reply: "I'm sorry, I just kinda….forgot."

"I didn't know you could forget that you were Head Girl. Honestly Lily get your Head in the game, because you know, I'm not going to be able to pull the weight for both of us."

God, he was so mean. So I'm gaping at him, throwing him my best glare. But he just goes on!

"Well, come on, do something. You know, like your job."

"Fuck you Potter," I whispered, and I moved fully into the compartment. Okay, I'm not usually one for the crude words, but he was just asking for it because he is a complete and utter jerk of course.

I tried to show how Potter's comments affected me very little, and used my best calm voice to address the prefects. I apologized to them, and made everything else short but sweet. I explained to them that we were going to have to have meetings every month to plan school events, that each of them was to take a turn in patrolling at least twice every month, and that they were NOT allowed to dock points from houses.

And then I told them they could leave.

You should have seen them. They were like antelope fleeing from a lion, that was how fast they ran out of there.

Then, I myself was about to flee from the compartment, but Potter shuts in close right before I get there, and simply stands in front of it.

"Get out of my way," I heard myself saying.

"But don't you want to spend time together? We could have some real fun." And the whole time he's saying this he's backing me up into the wall opposite the door. I felt my back finally hit the wall.

I swear this boy has multiple personalities. I mean, one moment he's insulting me, and the next he's…seducing me. Trying to seduce me anyways, and let me tell you, it was working.

James just keeps getting closer. His body is almost pressed against mine, and his face is only about three inches from mine.

I literally felt being dazzled when I looked into his eyes.

"Well?" he said in a low voice; I could feel his breath on my face.

"I don't think that it'd be a very good idea. With you and me together, something is bound to explode."

He laughed this really deep laugh that I could feel, even with his body not fully touching mine.

"Something will explode alright. You and me, we'll be exploding; we're going to see stars together baby," his voice trailed off in this really suggestive manner.

He had a sick, sick mind, and I liked it.

I found myself wondering what it would be like to, well, see stars with him. You know, I've never done IT with anyone, although I have gotten close a few times. And well, if I was going to do IT with anyone, shouldn't be a hottie with a body who was warm for my form?

But when I looked innocently at him, as though I didn't think all of the above, he smiled this really wide smile, and he got closer. And when I didn't do anything (but stare up into his eyes of course) his lips were brushing mine.

And all that was running through my mind was, well, nothing really. When I though of all the reasons I shouldn't kiss James Potter, I couldn't think of anything, but when I thought of all the reasons I should, several popped into my mind. For one, my mother was pregnant, even though she is clearly too old to be popping out babies, and then my ex-boyfriend dumped me because he was gay, and I'm still not completely over him.

And I thought screw the fact that he's a jerk.

And well, I kissed him back. Hard.

His large hands were running up and down my back and sides, and mine were twined around his neck. Our bodies were so close together I could feel his muscles flexing and unflexing under his clothes, and it did nothing but spur me on.

Our lips broke apart with his loud smack, and we stood there staring into each other's eyes for all of a second or two so we could catch our breath. Our lips crashed together and it was again the none too gentle kiss.

I kissed him back just as he was kissing me back. I kissed him back and felt my senses going overboard, I didn't know I could have this much fun kissing someone.

He had broken apart from my lips and was now laying kisses from my jaw down.

He was sucking on this particularly tender spot on my neck, and I was thinking if he was this good at kissing, what did everything else feel like? But saved me ultimately, from going farther was: how many girls had he done this with? And I realized, it was probably a large number, and it scared me.

I pushed James away from me as gently as I could allow, and started walking towards the door. James grabbed my wrist and tried to stop me and said "We were only getting started."

I tried not to let my surprise show, but I felt my eyes widening. That was only the beginning? I had my legs turn to jelly the second the kiss started.

I tore my hand from his and bolted. Thank god the compartment was only a little bit away. I wanted to hide my face from shame, I had just snogged James Potter. James Potter.

More later. I wrote that so fast I'm sure my hand is about to fall off.

September 2
Bedroom

Okay, I was totally oblivious to the fact that the Head Boy and Girl get to share a private common room and have their very own bedrooms, and a bathroom to share. Honestly, if I did know that I was going to have to spend extensive tome together with James over the next year, I probably would have double thought that kiss.

So I'm sitting at dinner with Lisa and Jane, and we're just about done with dinner, when Lisa spots Professor McGonagall rushes towards me with Potter in tow.

"Uh Lily," I look up from my plate of peach cobbler "just a warning, Potter and McGonagall are coming your way, no doubt for you."

All I was thinking at the moment was why me? I mean, after a not so nice first day back, I just wanted to be left alone, in peace. James Potter was the last person I wanted to see. I had not talked to him since our little fling in the head's compartment and nor did I want to.

But I was forced to go with them, as there was a surprise in store for both me and Potter. As you probably already guessed this surprise was this room. But I didn't know that at the time and naively went with Potter and McGonagall.

I tried to stay in front of Potter the whole time, but sometimes I found myself walking side by side with him. I was surprised he didn't have anything to say to me, but then again, I guess he really couldn't say anything to me, especially with a teacher in front of us.

I have to admit I was more than surprised when McGonagall said this funny word to a portrait, and POW this whole room opened up in front of me. It looked exactly like the Gryffindor common room, except smaller.

McGonagall let Potter and I alone saying we said explore our new housing. And so I was alone with him.

I spent no time finding my room, and locking myself in it. I was not surprised when I found all my things in here already.

So now I find myself writing in this journal again, and thinking about that kiss with James. I haven't been able to get it out of my head.

When I ran back into my compartment that day I found Lisa and Jane sitting around reading magazines and simply talking. It was if it was any other day. I said nothing but sat back down in my original seat and make small talk with them and try to act normal, and although they knew, something was wrong, I certainly didn't feel like telling either of them what had happened just yet.

But tomorrow I plan on letting the both of them read that entry I wrote above, because I don't feel like saying it myself.

September 3
Charms

I'm writing this only because I really don't need to pay attention right now. Flitwick is basically just explaining what we are going to be learning this year and half the class is asleep anyways, and the other half of the class is simply not paying attention.

I had another encounter with James this morning. Need I say more? I guess I might as well elaborate, there's nothing else to do.

I had just woken up, and was still in my pajamas and everything, and I walked into the bathroom that was supposed to be shared by Potter and me.

As it was early in the morning, I was caught off guard when I found James already in the bathroom brushing his teeth in nothing but boxers.

I suppose that answers the awkward question of boxers or briefs.

And even though it was only about six in the morning and usually I wasn't comprehendible until at least after breakfast, let me tell you, I had no trouble noticing his chest or saying "Boxers eh? I supposed that's about right. Couldn't imagine you as a brief's man."

He stared at me as though I wasn't from this planet or something. I mean, I might be weird but I was still human. He spit out his toothpaste and rinsed out his mouth.

"I wear briefs sometimes."

I think I went eight different shades of red when he said that. I know I was the one to mention it in the first place, but I didn't know I'd get a response like that.

He was edging closer to me and I heard my pulse in my ears. He just had that way, of making me really nervous. He was standing in front of me now, in all of his half naked glory.

"Need the bathroom?"

Simple question, I could answer that…

"Yeah, I do."

"Right then, it's yours."

And he just walked out. There was no physical contact or anything, and he seemed nice and reasonable for so early in the morning. Honestly, talking to him again wasn't as bad as I though it'd be.

But while I was in the shower I got to thinking. Was that it? After a steamy snogging session, THAT was all he was going to say to me. But then again, did I want him to say more?

So confused.

September 3
Seventh Year Gryffindor Girl's Dormitory

It's lunch time right now. But I simply had to tell Jane and Lisa about that other day. So I ended up dragging them up here, and I just showed them, everything. Everything I wrote that is.

Jane: Is this a joke?
Lisa: Yeah, lily I'm not sure you're in the right mind that the moment. I think you just dreamed up this whole thing
Me: Of course I did, that's why I have this minor hickey on my neck is it?

I pulled down the collar of my shirt to reveal something that I had discovered in the mirror this morning. It wasn't too bad. It was simply red.

Lisa: Oh my god! That's from James Potter?
Me: Yeah, it probably would've been worse if I hadn't bolted out of there when I did
Jane: Ah, THAT'S why you were acting so strange when you came back eh?
Lisa: -whacks Jane- Did you just figure that out? Honestly Jane I thought you were better than that…

She muttered something that sounded an awful like: "and they call me the blonde…"

Jane: I'm surprised you managed to get out of that compartment with your virtue attached. Is he as good of a kisser as he's made out to be?
Me: Better than that. Jane, you can't even imagine how I felt when he kissed me.
Lisa: Let me guess, it was a million orgasms all at once?

There was an insane amount of giggle after that. In fact I still crack up inside while thinking about that.

Me: I'm pretty sure I would have died from pleasure if it was like that, and let me tell you, it was close.

-insert more giggling here-

Me: And if that's not enough I walked into the bathroom this morning, and James was there brushing his teeth in nothing but boxers. And then I was all like, So I guess that solves the boxers or brief's question.
Jane: Did you actually say that to him?
Lisa: Bet you a knut she didn't
Me: Hey! Yes, unfortunately, I did.

We giggled a lot more after this. We're such girls. I'm so proud of us. We talked a lot about our summers then. We were all lying on one bed looking at the ceiling, when suddenly I remembered something.

I groaned.

Lisa: Woah there Lily. Before you start having fantasies about James while you're on the bed with us, give us a warning or something okay?

I threw a pillow at her.

Me: I just remembered something my mum told me right before I got on the train.
Jane: What?
Me: she's…..pregnant.
Lisa: Congratulations?
Jane: No you stupid, she's obviously upset about it. Although I don't know why. Aren't you the one who was always complaining about wanting a younger sibling?
Me: I don't know, it's such a big change, and mum, I mean, she's oldish now. I don't even think it'd be safe for her to be having the baby.

No one said anything after that. It was just one of those times where nothing had to be said. We understood each other without words.

And I was thankful for that.

September 5
Bedroom

I have to say nothing in significance as happened over the last two days. Other than some random times, I haven't seen James at all. I'm thinking the whole snogging session just went over his head. He probably has enough of them anyways.

I still can't believe I did that. Snog him I mean.

We aren't avoiding each other, but we're not seeing much of each other…

I haven't even felt up to sending mum that letter yet. I just cant. I don't know if I can really accept it.

I want school to be over and it's only just started.

September 6
Breakfast

I've decided that I am not going to hate my last year at Hogwarts because it will be such a waste if I do.

Mum owled me today. I don't even know what top say or do. Well, I know one thing. I have GOT to write back to her. She just sounded so broken and tired in her letter, and I almost just started crying then and there.

I really am a horrible person. Really horrible.

Dear Lily,

Hi honey, it's your mother. I know we both didn't end things on the best terms when you left. And I apologize for that. I'm sorry for springing something as big as a pregnancy on you on the day you were set to leave. I hope what I am going to say to you helps you feel more accepting to this coming addition: I'm not going to love you any less.

Your father and I did not plan this Lily. It sort of just surprised us. And I'm sorry couldn't write earlier, I was just so preoccupied. You know, with the house and work and taking care of your father and other this and thats.

Please write back to me as soon as you get this. We need to have a heart to heart talk. I love you very much Lily.

Love, Mum

I'm sitting here sniffling, it's the little things that get me going. Bake me a cake? Oh, that's nice. Give me clothes? Well, thanks. Give me a card and I'll be crying and sniveling in no time at all. Wait, cross that out. Lily Evans does not snivel, it wouldn't be very lady like. But then again neither is wearing my beat-up, torn, black converses with my uniform (I'm not suppose to, but the teachers never notice). Honestly, they're so torn up that I could stick my big toe, sock and all, out of it. I could repair them with a simple charm, but they're my lucky shoes. There's no way I'd give them up or alter or change them in any way.

Mum is always going crazy when she see me with them on. She says they look like they've been in the blender or something. Psh, as if I'd stick my precious shoes in the blender. My shoes…..so lovely…..you know, I think I want to pet them….wait. WHAT? Did I just write that? Am I going crazy or what.

Bleh, I'm babbling. I'm just trying not to think about my poor mum. Poor her, she has to go through some of the most precious months of her life with my snobby, lazy sister and my poor dad, who is probably more confused than ever (even though he has already rasied two children, my father is completely clueless).

Aw. Poor mum.

Setember 6
DADA

I have a stomach ache. I just came back from lunch. The house elves really outdid themselves today. There were so many good things to eat, but of course, I always say that. Anyways, I had too much lasagna. I think I'm dying. Can you die from this? Hm, I shall ask Lisa.

"LISAAAAAA!" I said in a whisper scream.

Hehee, she's sleeping….just think of all the things I can do to her.

Wow, that sounded quite wrong.

Anyways, I such the feathery part of my quill into her ear and she started moaning. MOANING. Moaning. Moaning. Dear god. What is she freaking dreaming about? Wait, I don't really want to know. Hmm….let's discuss the possibilities.

She could, of course, be having a perfectly normal dream. She could be dreaming about sitting in a room in her house. Laughing at something with Jane, and then this big chocolate birthday cake gets wheeled in on the trolly by me. And she finds this cake simply irresistible. You know, because the frosting is that really rich buttercream stuff, and its practically hanging off of the edges. Just the kind of frosting you have to swipe a finger through to taste. But then all of a sudden, Jane turns on this boombox, and this rap music starts pulsing, and then this half naked guy jumps out of the cake and starts singing happy birthday to Lisa. And then he's coming over to give her a lap dance-

Wait. Was is totally wrong that I was actually picturing this? And, wow, this is even harder to write….Is it totally wrong that I was picturing it was James jumping out of the cake and that it was really my birthday and James was singing happy birthday to me, and he was coming over to sit on my lap and was all covered in the chocolate frosting?

Oh god.

When did I start thinking this? Recently, I've found that I'm sick of avoiding James. Well, really I'm not trying to avoid him, but I think he's trying to avoid me, and I wish he would just stop. Because what I really want him to do is drag me into a broom closet and snog me senseless again.

NO. I've become a James Potter Lover. HOW DID THIS HAPPEN?

September 6
Hallway

I got sent out here because after I realized that little thing about James I started to bang my head against my desk….quite a few times. And then when professor-what's-his-name asked me if I was all right I said sure and continued to bang my head against the desk.

Well, anyways, today is Friday. Sweet, sweet Friday. It means that I have two whole days to spend the day sleeping. Can't you just imagine being in a big comfy bed with a bunch a fluffy blankets and pillows piled on top and under you?

Man, that's exactly what I need. I'm going to go to bed right after classes today. I only have one more!

Well, that certainly cheered me up.

Hey look! Class is over.

September 6
Bedroom

I am thoroughly exhausted. Thank god it's Friday because if it wasn't, I honestly think I would die. I would not be able to go another day through long, boring ass classes where the teachers drone on about something they make you think is important, but really is not. I mean, why can't they teach something useful like James Potter 101, getting to know him and his multiple personalities. Or How to Talk to Your Gay Ex.

Honestly. It would do me some good at least.

I would sign up for both of those classes.

So anyways, it was just after dinner and I was heading up to the owlery to mail the letter I had written at dinner to my mum. I sent it with some of her favorite chocolate (which I nicked off Sirius Black (James Potter's right hand man, the stupid git (Sirius, not James)) in the common room where he was pigging out on it like it was going out of style). Iwas rather proud of my letter anyways, I wrote everything I felt down, and tried to offer some encouraging words.

I even doodled little flowers and hearts on the edges, just to show her how much she meant to me, and like I said before I was off to the owlery. Until, well, I bumped into Jonas. You I hadn't thought about him at all in the last couple of days; I was surprised when I saw him. He told me he had been waiting for me, and he was sorry he couldn't talk to me earlier and I was all like "huh?" because I didn't remember a thing.

He opened his mouth again and was all like, "You know…I wanted to talk to you about things?"

He was totally talking to me as if I was stupid, which I'm not by the way, I happen to be one of the smartest witches in my year. So HA Jonas, take that.

I replied to him like this,"OH riigghhhtt, that thing…that you wanted to talk..to me about."

"You don't remember do you?"

"What?" whoops, totally daydreaming.

"I said Lily, you don't remember do you?"

"Remember what?"

I had totally just made a fool out of myself there. It was not fun, I mean, to be slightly humiliated by your gay ex-boyfriend. It's not my fault, honestly it's not, it's all in my genes. That's right, it's my DNA's fault, no, my mother and father's for not giving me better remembering genes. Hm, that's just about right.

Jonas was laughing. "It's okay if you don't remember, I know how you are with things. I mean you're the kind of person who would forget their own head if it wasn't attached to you."

"WHAT? I WOULD NO-"

"That's just about right," came the voice of the one and only James Potter. He was standing behind me, leaning against the wall-just how long had he been there? Anyways, he was beautiful in that effortless way, and I hated him for it.

After discovering I had a small crush on him, he was the last person I wanted to see.

So, I did the only thing a girl like me could do. I huffed, straightened my shoulders, and walked with my head held high, past Jonas, who was obscuring my way, straight to owlery. Or I tried, anyway. Jonas caught my arm and stopped me from getting anywhere.

Jonas glared at me. "You're not going anywhere until I can tell you something."

He was glaring at me, so I was glaring at him. Serves him right it does. He ruined my exit. Never, never ruin a girl's exit, because you will die. Really, you will.

"This is no business of yours James so I'd appreciate it if you'd give Lily and me some privacy."

James simply shrugged and said with a mock bow "As you wish." As he walked past me, he gave me a little wink, and then as though nothing happened, sauntered down the hallway. I couldn't help but notice his bum, it looked so cute and round and firm. Hmm…..

I think Jonas was checking him out too. Weirdness.

"You like him don't you?" Dirty bastard, how did he know?

"Hm? What did you say?"

"Don't bother denying it."

"I'm not denying anything!"

"He has a nice bum." See, I told you that Jonas was checking him out.

"Yeah, he does doesn't he?"

"HA! I knew you liked him!"

"I didn't say that."

"Well, you just said he had a nice bum."

"Yes, and that's all that I said. Just because I'm physically attracted to him doesn't mean I like him."

"Don't worry Lily, your secret is safe with me."

"I DON'T BLOODY FUCKING LIKE HIM."

"Denial." Don't I know it…no, I didn't say that…I'm not swimming in the Nile.

"Right, anyways, what did you want to talk to me about? Make it quick it's almost curfew, and I have to owl this letter to my mum."

"Quick to change the subject are we?"

"Jonas."

"Fine. Well. As I told you, I want us to be friends."

"But we are friends," I said.

"No, well, kind-of, I know it won't be the same relationship between us because of my sexuality, but I just wanted you to know that it wasn't you that turned me gay or anything."

"I never thought it was me that turned you gay." I am a liar.

"Yes, I know you did. Tim told me."

"WHAT? And just who told him?"

"Well, I think it was Jane or Lisa or someone, anyway-"

"I am going shank those bitches with a spoon."

Jonas raised an eyebrow at me.

"A spoon?"

"No, I said fork, duh." He he, I was making him think that he had hearing problems.

"No, you said spoon."

"No."

"Yes."

"No."

"Yes."

"Yes."

"No."

"HAHAHA! I got youu!" I said poking a finger at his chest.

He raised his hands in defeat and laughed.

"I missed this Lily."

I sighed, "So did I"

We stood there smiling at each other because we had finally found an even ground on which we could both tred. He opened his arms really wide and I stepped into them.

And then Jonas gave me the longest, tightest, friendliest, brotherly hug. And all was well in the world. Or so I thought.

So after saying bye to Jonas, I finally got to go mail my letter and chocolate to my mother. I tried to choose the biggest bird, because hopefully it would get there faster. Then I headed to the head's common room to sleep.

My plans of sleeping at seven were ruined. It was already ten o'clock, but nonetheless, I was in a good mood because

1. I had just made up with my gay ex-boyfriend, and we were now on good terms.

2. Because I finally got my mum and her pregnancy off my chest (for a little bit anyways)

3. Because it was just a Friday!

So you see, I totally had a right to be happy. So I was literally skipping when I came into the common room. I saw James standing by the fireplace, and I skipped towards him and just as he turned around to face me I pulled him into a hug and started screaming and jumping, and what do you know, he started screaming and jumping with me.

What a particular sight we must of been. Both heads were jumping up and down hugging each other and screaming like we were little kids. It felt nice, as if I was letting off some steam that I didn't know was in me.

Finally, when we could both jump no more and scream no more we collapsed on the floor. We were laying side by side. Our eyes to the ceiling.

"Owww." I said, sitting up and rubbing my head. It had been a rather hard fall.

"You can say that again," said James while sitting up and running a hand through his hair, "why were we screaming?"

"Because it's Friday and good things have happened."

"Ah, I see."

"Do you?" I said turning to him so that we were face to face.

"Sure, good things always happen on Fridays."

"Ah."

We sat there for a while, staring at each other, as if trying to remember the other's face.

James's face is very masculine. He has open eyes, and a square chin. His nose is very slim, and his jaw had a little stubble on it. His eyes are very expressive, and they glittered in the firelight. And his hair-his hair- it was his trademark. It was no joke or exaggeration when people said it was very untidy, because it was. It stuck up in every which direction and some of it fell over his eyes-he was constantly pushing it back.

I had this urge to run my fingers through his hair myself, and before I had fully thought it through, I felt something soft and smooth. Whoops, but I kept my hand there, running it through his hair a couple of times.

I guess I was subconsciously leaning forward the whole time because I felt my forehead touch his.

While my hands were still in his hair, I looked into his eyes and grinned.

"I like your hair."

"I like yours."

Our lips came together for what seemed to be forever. This kiss was not like the other ones we had, had before, it was very gentle, and soft. There was no tongue and there was never any more pressure on our lips. It was like we were barely kissing.

Until, you know, I got frustrated. I mean, that kiss was very nice, but there was no spaz.

So I practically smooshed myself to him and pulled him down on me.

And then he stopped kissing me, got up, and pulled me to my feet.

"It's late, its time for bed." He said going all parental on me.

He grinned at my expression, kissed my forehead, and whispered in my ear "Tomorrow," and then left.

Well, at least I have something to look forward to in the morning. Well, afternoon, I'm saying in bed as long as I can.

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A/N: So, how was it? This one chapter was 22 pages in Word. I'm sorry if there's a lot of grammar mistakes (I hope there isn't); Another reason I need a beta (you can private message/e-mail/tell me in a review if you're interested.

Happy summer! Expect the next chapter soon, but not very soon. Next week maybe, or late this week.

Reviews are love.

Disclaimer: Everything is based upon characters from J.K. Rowling's Harry Potter. The plot and such however, are mine. This was also influenced by the writing styles of Meg Cabot and Anna Maxted.