Author's Note: You know, I'm sure you guys see a lot of these at Christmas time, but don't worry, this one has a surprise at the end. ^^
Disclaimer: I don't own the DBZ characters, and I don't own the song "The Twelve Days of Christmas." However, Imma have some fun. ::evil grin::
[Trunks] ::suspiciously:: What are you plotting?
Oh, you'll see
[Trunks] *gulp* Does it include me?
::continues to grin:: Just ready the fic, Trunksie.
The Twelve Days of DBZ Christmas
by Supaa Saiyajin Trinity
"Okay, people!" Trinity shouts. "Let's get this show on the road!
"Awwwdo we have to?" Chibi Trunks whines as his mother straightens his tie.
Mussing up his lavender locks, Trinity gives him an affectionate glance. "Of course."
"But whyyyy?" his dark-haired friend asks. "I'm soooo hungry!"
"Goten," she sighs, "for the last time, I've told you that if you do this for me, you can eat all you want."
His eyes widen. "REALLY?"
"Yes, yes, yes, now come on, people!" Eyeing Vegeta, who is leaning against a wall in the corner, she calls to him, "Veggie, you're in on this, too."
He scowls at her, crossing his arms. "Don't call me that. And that's bullsh--"
"VEGETA!" Bulma scolds, turning around to glare at her husband. "Not in front of the children!"
He sighs and slaps his forehead. "How in Kami's name did I ever agree to this?"
"Eheh" Trinity stammers, knowing that if she were to tell him that she snuck some vermouth into his soda last night, he'd probably murder her. "II wouldn't know. But I DO know that we have a contract," she replies, holding up a piece of paper with his signature at the bottom.
He sighs again. "Very well." Straightening himself, he looks over at Goku. "Kakarot, you ready?"
Goku struggles to get to the food table while his wife impatiently buttons up his tuxedo. "Mustget to"
Trinity sweatdrops. "Oy" Walking over to Goku, she gives him a bonk on the head. "No food 'til we finish." Goku, naturally, groans in disappointment. She pays him no mind, however, and goes on to address everyone. "Okay, everyone's ready? Yes? Good, then let's get started!"
As quickly and efficiently as possible, she ushers Goku, Gohan, Goten, Chi-Chi, Bulma, Vegeta, Mirai Trunks, Chibi Trunks, Krillin, Yamcha, Tien, and Piccolo to a platform. Handing each of them a piece of paper, she says, "Now here are your scripts. This is a variation of 'The Twelve Days of Christmas,' written by me, of course. For those of you who don't know, each of you has been assigned a line. Be ready when it's your turn." She quickly sits down at her piano and begins to play, opening with the first line.
~On the first day of Christmas, the dragon gave to me~
[Tien] Mirai in his time machine.
Mirai Trunks blushes.
~On the second day of Christmas, the dragon gave to me
[Mirai Trunks] ::falters:: UmTwo cool swords
[Tien] And Mirai in his time machine.
~On the third day of Christmas, the dragon gave to me~
[Chi-Chi] ::gleefully:: Three frying pans
[Mirai Trunks] Two cool swords
[Tien] And Mirai in his time machine.
~On the fourth day of Christmas, the dragon gave to me~
[Goku] ::grins:: Four transformations
[Chi-Chi] Three frying pans
[Mirai Trunks] Two cool swords
[Tien] And Mirai in his time machine.
~On the fifth day of Christmas, the dragon gave to me~
[Chibi Trunks] ::shouts:: FIVEMUSHROOM CUTS!
Goten covers his ears. "Ow, Trunks! That hurt!"
"Sorry," Chibi Trunks apologizes sheepishly.
[Goku] Four transformations
[Chi-Chi] Three frying pans
[Mirai Trunks] Two cool swords
[Tien] And Mirai in his time machine.
~On the sixth day of Christmas, the dragon gave to me~
[Krillin] ::sweatdrops:: Six forehead dots
[Chibi Trunks] FIVEMUSHROOM CUTS!
[Goku] Four transformations
[Chi-Chi] Three frying pans
[Mirai Trunks] Two cool swords
[Tien] And Mirai in his time machine.
~On the seventh day of Christmas, the dragon gave to me~
Silence.
Trinity starts over again.
~On the seventh day of Christmas, the dragon gave to me~
Piccolo just stands there stonily. Goten nudges him. "Piccolo-sensei, it's your turn."
"I'm not doing this," he replies, glaring at Trinity.
"Not even for" She whips out a bottle. "Aquafina?"
His eyes widen.
"Now," Trinity smiles, "Let's try that again." She strikes up the piano again.
~On the seventh day of Christmas, the dragon gave to me~
[Piccolo] ::grabs the bottle, takes a swig, and wipes his mouth:: Seven Dragon Balls
[Krillin] Six forehead dots
[Chibi Trunks] FIVEMUSHROOM CUTS!
[Goku] Four transformations
[Chi-Chi] Three frying pans
[Mirai Trunks] Two cool swords
[Tien] And Mirai in his time machine.
~On the eighth day of Christmas, the dragon gave to me~
[Bulma] Eight veins a-popping
[Piccolo] ::takes another swig:: Seven Dragon Balls
[Krillin] Six forehead dots
[Chibi Trunks] FIVEMUSHROOM CUTS!
[Goku] Four transformations
[Chi-Chi] Three frying pans
[Mirai Trunks] Two cool swords
[Tien] And Mirai in his time machine.
~On the ninth day of Christmas, the dragon gave to me...~
[Yamcha] Nine evil androids::glances around warily::
[Bulma] Eight veins a-popping
[Piccolo] Seven Dragon Balls
[Krillin] Six forehead dots
[Chibi Trunks] FIVEMUSHROOM CUTS!
[Goku] Four transformations
[Chi-Chi] Three frying pans
[Mirai Trunks] Two cool swords
[Tien] And Mirai in his time machine.
~On the tenth day of Christmas, the dragon gave to me~
[Gohan] Ten suits of Saiyan armor
[Yamcha] Nine evil androids
[Bulma] Eight veins a-popping
[Piccolo] Seven Dragon Balls
[Krillin] Six forehead dots
[Chibi Trunks] FIVEMUSHROOM CUTS!
[Goku] Four transformations
[Chi-Chi] Three frying pans
[Mirai Trunks] Two cool swords
[Tien] And Mirai in his time machine.
~On the eleventh day of Christmas, the dragon gave to me~
[Goten] Eleven turkey dinners::drools uncontrollably::
[Gohan] Ten suits of Saiyan armor
[Yamcha] Nine evil androids
[Bulma] Eight veins a-popping
[Piccolo] Seven Dragon Balls
[Krillin] Six forehead dots
[Chibi Trunks] FIVEMUSHROOM CUTS!
[Goku] Four transformations
[Chi-Chi] Three frying pans
[Mirai Trunks] Two cool swords
[Tien] And Mirai in his time machine.
[Trinity] Almost done!
~On the twelfth day of Christmas, the dragon gave to me~
Vegeta scowls at her. "I'm not reading this."
"Vegeta" Trinity sighs. "I'm not going to argue with you about this. Now just read the line."
"No."
"Come on, you only have to do it once."
"NO! I'm not reading that!"
Trinity sweatdrops. "Bulma, do something."
Bulma turns to her husband. "'Geta, just do as she says."
"NEVER!" he shouts, enraged. "I OBEY NO WOMAN! I AM THE PRINCE OF ALL SAIYANS!"
She growls in frustration and turns to her best friend. "Chi-Chi? Could I borrow your?"
Chi-Chi grins and whips out her frying pan. "Of course," she says, handing it to her.
"Thanks, Chich', you're a lifesaver." Quickly, before Vegeta has a chance to catch on, she bashes it over his head. "NOW JUST SAY THE DAMN LINE!"
Vegeta barely flinches, his eyes darting to her. He responds by powering up a ki ball.
Realizing that things are about to get messy, Trinity stands up and walks over to Vegeta. "Listen, bub," she half-whispers, "I'll tell you now how I got you to sign that contract--I got you drunk."
His eyes widen with anger and he begins to power up the ball of ki all the more quickly, now aiming it directly at her.
"But," she continues, "I also took pictures."
He freezes.
"REVEALING pictures."
""
"Even one of you with a lampshade on your head..."
""
"So," she goes on, using her sweetest voice, "unless you want me to SHOW everybody those pictures, I suggest you say the line."
"You do that, and I'll kill you," he snarls.
She shrugs. "It doesn't matter what happens to me. Your reputation will be ruined forever."
He stands there, contemplating her words.
"Well?" she prods him, smiling as she lowers his hand. "Do weunderstand one other?"
His only response is a grunt, followed by powering down.
Trinity watches in satisfaction as the ki ball disappears. "I'll take that as a yes." She moves back to the piano. "Now, this is the last one." She clears her throat and begins to play once again.
~On the twelfth day of Christmas, the dragon gave to me~
[Vegeta] ::through clenched teeth:: Twelve cans of hair spray
[Goten] Eleven turkey dinners
[Gohan] Ten suits of Saiyan armor
[Yamcha] Nine evil androids
[Bulma] Eight veins a-popping
[Piccolo] Seven Dragon Balls
[Krillin] Six forehead dots
[Chibi Trunks] FIVEMUSHROOM CUTS!
[Goku] Four transformations
[Chi-Chi] Three frying pans
[Mirai Trunks] Two cool swords
[Tien] And Mirai in his time machine!
"YAY! WE'RE DONE!" everyone shouts, cheering.
"NOW can we eat?!" Goku and Goten plead, on the edge of panicking.
"Yeah, yeah," Trinity sighs, waving them away with her hand. They immediately dive towards the table laden with food and proceed to pig out. It is only a few seconds later that they are joined by everyone else.
"Um, excuse me!" Trinity calls. "Could I have you attention for just a moment before I take my leave?"
Everyone looks up, cheeks bulging with food. "She better make this quick," someone mutters.
"I just thought I should inform you allthat today is not actually Christmas."
They stare.
"It's actually April first."
Gohan spits out his food. "WHAT? But the snow!" he cries, turning to the window.
"Oh, those're just cotton balls."
Goten whimpers, "And the calendar?"
"--Replaced it."
He pouts. "No presents? No Santa?"
"Nope," she smiles. "Happy April Fool's Day!"
Everyone glares at her.
"Eheh" She begins to edge toward the door. "Maybe I should get out of hereYIPE!" She takes off out the door, with a crowd of angry anime characters hot on her tail, shouting obscenities.
Goku and Goten, however, linger behind, staring at the food. A tear slips down Goten's face.
"Aw" Goku tries to comfort him. "Even if it's not really Christmas, we can still pretend, right? I mean, look at all this food!"
"Yeah" the little boy agrees, hearing a growl from his stomach. He smiles up at his father. "Merry Christmas, Dad."
Goku grins. "Merry Christmas, Goten."
Suddenly, Trinity pops back in. "Can't forget this!" Quickly she snatches up the corners of the tablecloth, with the food still on top, and runs back out, toting the bag over her shoulder.
As the two Sons stare at the now bare table, a resounding echo could be heard all throughout the mountains
"D'OH!"
******
EhehWell, that's all! Review and tell me what you think, and if I get enough good reviews, maybe I'll do something like this again! Ja ne! ^^
