Are you children ready for another story from good ol' Uncle Marcus? Do your ears have the wanting to hear more tales about the legendary Vaults? Of stories filled with danger? Of grand Adventure? Of treasures without end? Well I'll just be talking to myself if you weren't and like it or not you're hearing one right now.

For those who do not know and to those who are curious, the Vaults are just like what it sounds. They are vaults of untold riches created by an ancient alien species forgotten by the history books. Who they are or where they came from is beyond me. And I frankly don't care. If you want to know more about them, bring it up to Tannis. That'll keep her yapping for days and out of my hair.

But what I do know about them is that they are an advanced and intelligent civilization but were stupid enough to get wiped out. By what or how is a mystery. But they did not disappear before leaving all their goodies behind. Gift wrapped with a big pretty bow. Ready for the taking.

Hence, Vaults. The legacy of an extinct race. Containing anything from troves of Alien Tech, to chasms filled to the brim with treasure and riches, to hordes of advanced weaponry that could level planets, to lairs of monstrous beasts itching to be unleashed. Or so I've heard, so the stories went, and so they turned into legends that grew as time passed by.

Now unlike the others I have told before, we aren't starting our story in our planet of Pandora. The place where the legends of Vaults first appeared. So that also means that we won't be seeing much of your favorite Vault Hunters any time soon. Maybe. I dunno. So stop asking.

I mean seriously. C'mon now, the galaxy is a big place and the universe doesn't revolve around a dozen people. That's just lazy writing if you ask me.

Ahem.

We begin our tale on Vulcan-C14. A massive gas planet with a bright hellish red hue of lava and flames befitting the god it was named after. A harsh and uninhabitable planet twice the size of Jupiter surrounded by over a thousand moons. Of the few moons that anyone had time to name, we have Dante IX.

A dry barren rock pocked with deep black chasms, sharp pointed mountains, and covered to the brim by a fuckton of craters. Just like my ex-ex-wife. And like my ex-ex-wife, the whole moon is devoid of any forms of life because of everything that comes a knocking at it every few days and too toxic for anything to grow on it. Save for however a human settlement sticking out in the far remote corner of the moon. On the dark side, if you will. Just like my ex-ex-wife.

The settlement was aptly called the Purgatory. The largest Maximum Security Prison in the Sector. A real man made hell where they kept the worst men and women that humanity had to offer. A Prison but leaned closer to a concentration camp under the funding of the Militaristic, and definitely Fascist, Dahl Corporation.

Those guys there do know how to throw aesthetics out of the window and make everything imposing, impenetrable and fearsome. Just like the rest of their products on the market. Ironically though, this just made the prison the safest place in the planet's orbit.

But then you'd ask, "but wait a minute, you just said that the planet was completely hostile to anything with a pulse? Barren wasteland. Daily meteor showers. Toxic wasteland Yata yata yata. How could anything possibly live there?"

And I'll tell you to shut the fuck up because I'm getting there. Now the next one who yaps when I'm telling the story will get shot. Then I'll have one of your friends pay for the bullets.

Now, I gotta hand it to them. As tasteless as they are in their business ventures, Dahl Corporation was anything but stupid when it comes to their real estate. To combat these threats, they built the place deep inside a massive chasm surrounded by mountains of solid glistening lead. And with the guns the Purgatory packed, you can notch of anything that would come knocking at its door. So you can notch off meteors off of your list.

The toxic landscape on the other hand, the one that could burns your skin off while puking your insides out, Dahl had these mined and harnessed these as a viable power source. Something that the prison with tens of thousands of people need in an isolated and inhospitable planet. They get it all for cheap too by using slave labor from the cons. A dangerous job of course with a high 'turnover rate'. But hey. It keeps the lights on.

It's not like they were lacking any of those in there since it is a prison after all. Prisoners are their main import after all there was never a shortage on disposable manpower. With a population of about 30,000 people, Purgatory had a beating heart of a bustling city. A massive boomtown with endless winding halls, narrow alleys, crowded plazas, and towering buildings made up of cellblocks stacked in the thousands. Each looked like a life sized and massive hive. A living, breathing, noisy, and putrid smelling hive where convicts were crammed together like sardines. The latest technology and wealth that the DAHL Corporation could offer and they can't even help pay the water bill for a quick shower. I heard that the guards patrolling those halls had to wear gas masks to survive the stench that could kill someone in their rounds.

But our story doesn't start inside one those colossal hive buildings. Instead of rising the tension through more boring expositions, I think I'll just drop you straight into the middle of the action. And it sets off in one of the Watchtower's Control Room. The ones in charge of seeing and knowing everything in the prison. But what the Guards in the Control Room didn't see was the thing that just struck one of its wide windows. Not enough to shatter the glass but was strong enough to leave a sizable crack on it and was loud enough to snap everyone in the room awake.

The Guards and personnel in the room quickly jumped to their feet after hearing the loud thud. Some fell on their back in surprise while others fumbled to draw their guns. It's been a boring couple of months for them around that time. You can't blame them for being a little sloppy. But you can blame them for what happened next.

Boredom and laziness is one thing but stupidity is something else entirely. Those boys in the Watchtower just spent a second looking at the crack before shrugging it off like it was nothing. Idiots. They were just on their way back to their posts before another thing came flying in and struck the window only this time, that thing got through.

A metal spear smashed through the window and struck the floor in front of the Guards. It was an ugly thing. Nothing more than a rusted pipe with chunks and bits of scrap metal junk slapped into it. It did have a blue light blinking at the top which made it a bit pretty for the eyes. And the currents of electricity coursing up and down its shaft was a nice touch. But I still an ugly piece of shit. But what it did next was nothing short of extraordinary.

The light on top of the spear started blinking at a faster beat to the point that it blasted a bright and powerful surge of electricity. The Guards winced at the blinding light and before they knew it, a man was conjured out of thin air in front of them. Just above blinking light on the spear.

The Guards didn't need to think twice to mistake the man for anything except a convict. His bright orange prison jumpsuit makes him stand out in the crowd. He was a young man with ashen spiked hair wearing a pair of cracked goggles and a quiver of spears strapped to his back. He also has a very punchable personality just because he can get so obnoxious at every opportunity that he could spare. You'll see what I mean about that later but first let me tell you what he did next after appearing out of thin air.

Now as he was falling onto the Guards, the man took out another spear and then stabbed the Commanding Officer in the face. He pushed the spear through the man's head till it struck the ground and left the body impaled in front of the onlookers. The others were shocked – no pun intended – by how fast it was done and stunned by how sudden it happened. They never got the chance to do anything about it though because at the snap of his fingers and everybody with boots on the ground were electrocuted while he himself was left unscathed because he stood atop his two spears.

Everyone in the Watchtower screamed as they burned like a Sunday Barbecue. Dropping dead one by one. Charred meat on dry bone with salsa and ketchup splattered about by the time it was all done. All the while our magic man took a half lit cigarette from one of the dead smoldering Guard and gave off a few puffs.

DEX

Prisoner No.: AC-26-2425

As the Electromancer

The sirens by then started going off all over the prison. All of the lights were lit in red. Orders were shouted out from the intercoms. Sounds of heavy footsteps were heard marching down the hall outside as Guards ran towards the door. Dex took care of them by slamming the door shut with a lever. After a hearing a loud bump and shout from the other side, he laughed while moving on to his next step.

Dex knew that it wouldn't take long for them to pry the thing open. He could already hear the Guards outside hammering and prying the doors open. However he somehow paid more attention to the cigarette he was smoking and to what was happening outside. Looked down from behind the wide windows, he watched the people on the lower levels moving frantically like ants. The Guards scrambling around for order. Prisoners clamoring inside their cells. Small fights were beginning to break out between the two factions and with each other. The whole place was a powder keg ready to blow. All he needed was to set off just one more spark.

Before he could set that off though, a song playing from a dead Guard's Echoplayer caught his eye. Or in this case, ear. Dex apparently had an odd taste for the classics. As if he wasn't odd enough already. The Echoplayer played an old song, I'm a Wanted Man by Royal Delux.

Ever the grand showman, Dex plugged the Echoplayer to the Watchtower's speakers and shared the song for all to hear before sticking a virus laden USB into the system.

A virus moved fast and infected the System Mainframe and like wildfire it spread throughout the entire Prison. It did not take long for it to do its magic. The Cameras in every corner of the prison started shutting off one by one. The flying security Drones started deactivating one by one and fell from the sky to the onlookers on the ground. The same thing went for the turrets on the walls and those set up on the gates. Every computer screen, panel, and hologram became static. Disabled. Some screens showed a brief logo through the static soup.

You see, it was Dex's calling card. An 8-bit spider with a red 8 pointed star of arrows pointing out. He likes to leave this around just to let people know that all of this is his doing.

The virus saved the best part for last. The chaos that was happening were nothing but appetizers for the evening's main course. And it was served when every gate and every door in the prison whooshed wide open. And that includes the thousands of cells in those hives.

The powder keg was lit and then all of hell in Purgatory broke loose.

Hordes of killers, murderers, thieves, cannibals, tax evaders, and psychopaths were spat out of their cramped cells. Cons being cons, they didn't think twice to get some payback for years of living under the Guards' boots and under rival Gangs' thumbs. They ganged up on any Guard they got their hands on like moths to a flame the beat up, gutted, and tore them to pieces.

In the face of all this Chaos, Dex watched it all - with my guess is with ecstatic glee - from atop the Watchtower. He was actually one cliché away from doing the evil laugh when the doors behind him blasted open and a dozen Guards came charging through the smoke. Guns drawn. But Dex didn't have the time to entertain them with an exchange of lead. He already teleported away before any of the Guards had a chance to pull the trigger. But he didn't pop out before flicking his used cigarette at them with a particular finger.

You could not have seen a more violence and chaos like this outside of the Borderlands. The endless dark halls echoed with gunfire, unintelligible shouting, and sounds of brutal slaughter. Like how most chaos goes it wasn't an even fight for any side. The Guards had guns but the convicts had numbers. Outnumbering the former 5 to 1 and a pissed off attitude. A few Cons got their hands on some from the dead but it's going to take more than that to even the odds.

One group of convicts managed to break into one of the armories and got a hold on to the flashier guns in its arsenal. Dahl may make the most unsightly guns but boy will I pay big money to get my hands on what they have in those armories. Those idiots there thought the same and took their sweet time admiring the artillery that they failed to notice a squad of Guards setting up right outside. Amateurs. It was like shooting fish in a barrel once the flashbangs and teargas were thrown in. Convicts came running out of the armory half blind and didn't get a chance to let out a cough before they all got gunned down.

The Guards were in the middle of checking their ammo and reloading their weapons by the time our next player strolled out of the smoke. He was a hulking brute with massive bulging muscles and under each arm he carried a pair of heavy machine guns. But unlike our somewhat-favorite midget, this one was a giant with bulging muscles so big that he could barely squeeze out of the armory's doors. This man so large that the largest prison uniform size was still too small and was worn as an open vest.

For you girls and gays out there, I'm sorry to disappoint you because this giant is no bronze skinned Adonis. Like our dwarvish friend, this one is a sight for sore eyes. He is a shambling mess of a Frankenstein's monster with thick leather like skin. One that was poorly stitched together by a talentless tailor with a blunt needle and a stapler. I could say the same for the grease monkey that stuck rusty metal braces on the man's limbs, gears bolted onto his limbs, and pistons hammered onto his back.

Chipped screwed and bent nails were visibly hammered into him to keep it all in place. But none of that compared to the massive metal jaw of hardened iron that is bolted to his lower mandible of his mouth. This thing is made of layers of painted scrap metal with sharp jagged teeth that covered half of his ugly mug.

Put all of these together, and you get yourself one scary piece of work.

RICTUS

Prisoner No.: SL-12-4567
 As the IronHyde

You'd be as startled just like those Guards the moment you get a look at this monster. To see it look you in the eye would scare the piss out of your pants. I knew I did when I first got a look at him. The big fella here knew it too and used that distraction to digistruct parts of mismatched pieces of bulky heavy metal plates of armor onto himself complete with an ugly metal mask with glowing red eyes. The transformation finished off with the appearance of two more massive guns attached over his shoulders in addition to the two guns that he already had.

All of this was done under 3 seconds. By the count of 3, the Guards snapped out of their shock and started shooting at him but by then it was too late. Bullets bounced off of him like BB pellets but the Guards never stood a chance once Rictus started shooting. There was barely anything left of them by the time it was over. Nothing left standing in the halls save for Rictus walking down the empty hallways past the thick cloud of gunpowder, the countless simmering bullet holes, the scraps of junk scattered on the floor, and chunks of meat splattered on the walls.

You can find the same scene happening in another part of the prison but instead of Guard's it was the convicts in the receiving end. Alleyways were decorated with their limbs and were full of groaning wounded. The convicts were on the run. Running away from the big guns in the Guard's arsenal. The Dahl Powersuits.

Boy do I want to get one of those. 5 meters tall, thick plated, big armed, and big gunned Mechs with massive .100 Autocannons that could mow down a crowd like spring grass. Nothing the cons could throw at them couldn't leave a dent on their armor. Not with their nail boards, Molotovs, or metal pipes. Not even with the guns they stole. One thing's for sure, one Powersuit is enough to beat a whole lot of folks to paste.

The sight of one coming at you was enough to convince anyone that they're in for some bad news. Some needed more convincing than the others but they quickly got the point once a few limbs were blown apart. The convicts were routing. Hightailing through the halls as fast as their feet could take them. Stampeding through without caring for what they were stepping on as they did. All of them were running away from the danger. All except for a girl with a mad crazy look in her eye.

None of the other convicts stopped to think to pull her or turn her the other way. No one even noticed her in their panic. Out of fear. Yes. Out of selfishness. Sure. Her short height must have made it easier for the others to miss her as she made her way towards the Giant Mech.

Now you look at her and you'll see all sorts of crazy on her. Her head was twitching like a garden sprinkler. A bush full of unkempt hair that scattered at her every move. Black bloodshot eyes that never seemed to blink. Fingers fiddling in the air like she's playing a piano. Giggling at nothing under her breath. But craziest of it all was when she started running towards the Mech.

Although the fact that her outfit was a torn straightjacket and the fact that they were in the solitary confinement area should have been a big hint.

Hmmm.

Anyway, while she ran zigzagged down the hall past the hail of gunfire, the pupils in her eyes grew wide as dinner plates. Her smile as wide as that Cat in a Carrol's story then started laughing at nothing like a maniac. Going faster and faster the closer she got to the Mech.

Whether by pure skill or dumb luck, not a single slug hit its mark. I ask the same question every time I see her in action. Or whenever I hear stuff about her. Like when she took down a guard, stole and set off a smoke bomb, disarmed him for his gun, and used it to shoot back at the others while using the same Guard as cover. I mean does she plan it all out? Or does she just plays it along as she goes?

Her 'shield' didn't last that long. Especially not against a Dahl Powersuit's heavy artillery. He was no more than Chum after eating a burst. But when the Dahl Powersuit turned its sights onto the girl, the pilot found the girl was latched onto his Mech's arm. She jumped on top of him and shot him down at point blank range. She fired her gun at him fully automatic and was laughing the entire time. Maniacally as the empty cartridges and blood was splattering all over her.

Mina

Prisoner No.: PV-07-1112

The LooseCannon

The whole Mech tipped over. Fell on its back with the girl still on top. The pilot was as dead as a doornail by then but Mina kept on shooting. She didn't stop shooting until she finished drawing a perfect smiley face on the dead man's chest. Complete with cross eyes and a tongue.

By the time Mina finished, another group of Guards popped up across the plaza. She could have hid behind the Mech and waited for them to pass by. But no. Her adrenaline was still kicking and she was still in a mood to shoot at something. That would have been a good idea too if there were bullets in that gun of hers.

Yeah. That's what you get for wasting your ammo on a cadaver, you idiot. Instead, the only good your stunt did was exposing yourself to the Guards.

They spotted her for that of course and didn't think twice to fire at her once they got in range. Mina ducked for cover and was safe behind the busted Dahl Powersuit but she won't soon since the Guards were on their way to flank around her. MIna rummaged for some ammo for her empty gun. A spare magazine was only an arm's reach from her but the bullets made it impossible for her to get to it without losing something.

With the use of a lock of her hair, a fishhook piercing, and Mina's quick thinking, the magazine quickly made it to her hands. While she was fumbling to load her gun, Mina noticed that bullets weren't clanking on her cover anymore. Don't get me wrong, there was still sounds of gunfire popping around but none of them had her name on it. She was also hearing sounds of screaming and groaning coming from the Guards.

Mina tried taking a peak but a close call from a bullet convinced her that it was better to wait out the danger. But her curiosity was going strong and patience was quickly running out. She peaked her ear to know just what was happening. She listened to the sounds and imagined just what they could be.

She heard sounds of loud snapping bones. Like scrunching sounds when you eat deep fried chicken fresh from the grill. There were sounds of people being thrown around and something like water balloons splattered against the walls. She kept hearing the the sounds of people choking. Loud gurgling water that poured down the drain, and so on. The sound that she couldn't imagine amidst all that other noise was the loud screeching noise. Noise that pierced her ears to a close and sent shivers crawling up her spine.

A Guard then flew above her. The Guard was like a broken rag doll with limbs that bent on the wrong places. I don't doubt that she's be amazed at seeing that but that face quickly turned to shock when she saw something dart out at it like an arrow and tore through the man before pulling him back before everything went quiet.

Mina took this chance to come out from her hiding spot and catch whatever was behind the wall with its pants were down. What she didn't expect though was her gun flying from her hand before her finger could reach the trigger and finding it in the mouth of a black monster with fresh blood and chunks dripping down its mouth.

It looked like a serpent and was even uglier to look at up close. I gotta give it to her, it took guts for Mina to look at it eye to eye. I wouldn't even think to be that close around that monster even if you paid me. The thing looked like something from out of this world and closer to the monsters you see in horror movies with good CGI. Surprisingly, Mina had a thing for that genre. Practically worships it and I wouldn't be surprised that she had taken a liking for it there and then.

This thing though…this beast was no serpent but it's the closest thing I could use to describe it to you. It's a Demon with rows upon rows of black needle like teeth, damp hair as rough as a mangy mutt, and scaly skin that faintly glew like burning coals. Coals that are smoldering red with faint black smoke coming out of its spine.

The Demon circled her menacingly like a predator about to strike and it was was just about to when a shrill whistle stopped it on its tracks. Too close of a call since it was just an inch away from Mina's face when it stopped. A half a second too late then it would have taken a fresh chunk out of her pretty little face. Instead it growled at the girl half an inch away. Mina mentioned later that she tried her best not to puke after smelling whatever was rotting inside that thing's mouth but that's another story for another time.

Anyway, the whistle came from this hooded man Mina didn't notice was in front of her across the plaza. Surrounding him were the bodies of the Guards and his arms were drenched in their blood. The man's left arm in particular had a faint trail of black smoke that led to the serpent who slowly flew towards him with an annoyed look at its face.

As the hooded man walked towards her barefooted, Mina saw that that he was a fellow convict like her. His prison outfit looked like what was left of the straightjackets they used for solitary confinement but this one was torn and stitched sloppily together to make the crude hood. The guy was no tailor and his outfit showed much of his decrepit body that was covered to the bone with black ink tattoos. The tattoos didn't show any type of gang signs that Mina was familiar with in the prison. Unlike those, these were printed intricately with a certain style of art. Written in some exotic script that had a lot of tails in them. Up until now, no one but that man knew what they all meant.

Now here comes the odd part. The man raised his left arm and met with the Serpent Demon. The thing then begrudgingly met with the man's open hand and slithered into it. Slithered FUCKING into it. I shit you not. And here I thought that I've seen it all from all the shit I've gone through with the others. The snake then dug deep into this guy's skin and coiled itself around his arm, becoming just like many tattoos that the man had on him. Teeth, eyes, scales and all with its head peering out on his hand.

And Nergal

Prisoner No.: MW-24-0024

As 'the Freak'

Now you'd think that Mina would be grateful to this man, this Nergal character, for keeping his dog on a leash. But in case you slackjaws forgot just what Nergal is and where they all are, you won't last long if you were on her shoes. So no. Mina wasn't thankful. She instead kept both eyes on the Mad Monk the entire time while slowly reached out for one of shotguns lying around. With her bare feet, she kicked it up to her hands and aimed it right at him.

Nergal only had his bloody shiv on hand but he had that beast stuck on his arm. He whispered to it in a guttural tongue and brought the monster back to life. The serpent hissed back and its eyes glowed red.

The two of them were about to jump at each other's throats before a spear landed in front of them. The Electromancer followed soon after. Popping out from a spark and fell to his knees out of breath. My bet was that he was in a middle of running away from a fight but ended up finding himself in another one. Looking at the two, he spat before he taking out another spear then slowly backed himself to a corner with Sparks were popping out of him and electricity was surging from his spears.

It didn't take long for Rictus to add himself into the picture. The trio heard his footsteps before actually seeing him behind the smoke. He walked towards them without his armor. Banged up and bleeding but that didn't make him any less dangerous or weak. Rictus still had the strength to tear off the arm off from the disabled Dahl Powersuit with his bare hands. He took the autocannon attached to it and tossed the rest aside like a broken toy. Cocked, locked, and loaded, he pointed the oversized gun at the other three.

And there we have it folks. Our four protagonists in our story. An odd bunch of criminals, killers, and thieves. The very people who would define the future of humanity against the coming threat and they are just about to shoot each other to kingdom come. Typical.

They were strangers to each other at the time so don't expect them to exchange favors. First time meeting and already they didn't like one another. No want for conversation except for their guns who are itching to be chatty. But we all know what's going to happen eventually. I mean if they all shot at each other then there wouldn't be much of a story to tell except for a blue-balled introduction to nowhere.

They'll be helping each other out later but that doesn't mean they'll be getting along any time soon. But let them hate each other now. The good they'll do to each other in the coming fights will end up meaning more to each other when it comes. Now 9 out of 10 this wouldn't work but chance that it does it would do a lot of good for them and it would do a lot of good for the people in this galaxy. Especially for the War that was coming. And it started the very moment these 4 convicts first encountered each other in that very plaza.

Well that's it for now, children. Now if you'll excuse me, I've been sober for too long now and Uncle Marcus needs to get himself a drink before I could say more.