A/N: These are side stories to our main story Aggressive Expansion. This doesn't have anything to do with the plot of Aggressive Expansion, only the characters are the same. These are just silly stories so enjoy and review.

Zoo Misadventures

"We'll be back later, Jazz is going to take us, so, yeah. Bye." Charlie headed out the door in jeans, a white shirt, and a large sun hat with sunglasses. Alex had her arms crossed and left after her, wearing her jeans skirt and green tank top courtesy of Mikaela. The twins watched them go.

"Is this okay? I mean, we are supposed to follow them." Sunstreaker turned and left.

"Who cares? Come on."

"But it's our job, look it's on the list Hatchet gave us." Sideswipe held out a piece of paper with the words 'KEEP THEM ALIVE OR ELSE!' Sunstreaker grabbed it out of his hand and folded it up into a paper airplane, throwing it over his shoulder.

"Who cares?"

"Fascinating!" The twins turned around and spotted Wheeljack studying the paper airplane. "Marvelous! Hmm, brilliant!" He snapped his fingers and ran for his lab, the twins looked at each other and shrugged, what did they care? Sunstreaker left for the rec room with Sideswipe following. When they reached the rec room Sideswipe grabbed the remote out of Bluestreak's hand and changed the channel.

"Hey! I was watching that!"

"It's okay I don't mind."

"But-"

"I'm watching TV here Bluestreak it's rude to interrupt someone when they're busy."

"But you-" Bluestreak stood there stunned for a few more minutes before settling in and watching Sideswipe flip through channels. Behind him Sunstreaker was staring in a mirror and posing for himself trying to decide which angle he looked best from. The left, he decided. Sideswipe stopped on a reality TV show.

"Hey, what's this?"

"Alright folks, let's see how they does, ready, set, go!" The host on the television sent three male models out on a beach, where they were supposed to 'impress' the female population with their good looks. Whoever won was crowned 'Sexiest Man' and given a crown. Sunstreaker watched with interest.

"They are considered sexy? Then they have obviously never met me." Sideswipe laughed and Sunstreaker glared at him. "What are you laughing at?" Sideswipe continued to laugh at him. "I'm the sexiest thing in the universe no matter what species." More laughter, Bluestreak started laughing with him. "I am!"

"Of course you are Sunny." Sunstreaker huffed.

"I'll prove it I bet I can get at least fifty of those human females to fall for me!"

"I doubt it Sunny, Alex and Charlie don't seem impressed at all by you and they are female."

"They have poor taste."

"They thought I was hot."

"Like I said poor taste."

"I bet all the human femmes like me more than you."

"Ridiculous!...You're on." Sunstreaker transformed and left the base intent on proving he was more desirable then his twin, Sideswipe followed leaving Bluestreak alone in the rec room. He grabbed the remote and switched back to the channel he was watching.

"Alright make sure you grab your olive oil…" He started taking notes from Rachel Ray on how to make roast chicken. He lived for this femme's show, Ironhide walked in and sat down next to Bluestreak.

"What's she making this time?"

"Roast chicken."

"Good. Turn it up."

Charlie sat in the stands watching the reptile show, Alex was next to her eating cotton candy and next to her was Jazz in his holoform, he was tall with dark skin and dreadlocks pulled back, wearing a light blue visor across his eyes. He was watching the employee wrestle an alligator with horrified interest.

"Is he programmed to do that?"

"He's been trained to."

"But it's twice his mass."

"That's why it's interesting." Charlie ignored the conversation going on next to her, she surveyed the alligators, finally landing on one that was next to the fence gazing up at her looking like it wanted to escape, yup that was the one for her. She took off her sun hat and pulled a rope out of it, this was why she wanted Jazz to take her to the zoo for, her very own alligator. She nudged Alex, the signal that it was go time. Alex stood and took off her shirt, reveling her bikini top, she pulled a folding lawn chair out of nowhere and sat down on it and started eating a popsicle and Charlie knew she was good. As people started watching Alex, she hoped over the fence separating the alligators from the zoo goers and stalked towards her intended alligator.

Jazz stood still, his mouth agape, were females supposed to do that? Alex was being surrounded by males and some of which started taking pictures of her.

"Alex what are you doing?!"

"Why I'm eating a popsicle Jazzy my dear. Why don't you join me?" Alex stood and pulled his shirt off, then handed him a popsicle and sat back down. He stood there stunned, he didn't know his holoform's clothes could come off. She drug her popsicle down his built chest and raised her eyebrows. He shrugged and gave her a wicked grin. This could be fun…….

"You're eyes are bluer than the Atlantic Ocean and baby, I'm all lost at sea." The girl giggled and Sideswipe smirked. Another one down. He blew her a kiss and walked over to Sunstreaker. He was messing up his blonde hair and took off his leather jacket, showing a tight gray shirt that showed off his muscles. Girls swooned. He raised his eyebrows at his brother, who smirked.

"You're on." He answered his unspoken challenge and took off his own jacket, showing his white wife beater. He took a bottle of water and poured it over his head, shaking his short black hair. He slicked it away from his face and several girls fainted.

"So?"

"So? We're tied, come on, we need fresh blood." They looked at all the comatose girls around them and headed for their alt forms, which were several meters away. They got in and tinted the windows before switching off their holoforms and zooming off to find more 'judges.'

--

"AAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!" The people at the zoo ran around screaming their heads off and heading for the exits. Charlie sipped her coke as she watched the people stampede, when she got her pet alligator she forgot to close the fence after she left and now a group of alligators were running around the zoo chasing people.

"Huh, they really shouldn't panic like that, they can smell fear can't you Jacques?" She looked down at the alligator she roped and fed it some Doritos. "Good boy."

"SQUAK!" She looked up and saw a flock of exotic birds heading south.

"Well I'm pretty sure I didn't let them out." She watched the flamingos go by and shrugged. Most of the caretakers were male and most of them were still clustered around Alex, who had shed her pants and now lay in her red bikini, utterly detached from the men around her. She had finished her popsicle and was now sucking on a lollipop lazily. Jazz had been laying next to her, but left when he saw the flamingo exhibit. He had never seen pink birds before…..

"Alright, what about this place, looks crowded." The twins had stopped at the entrance to a place called z-o-o. They shrugged and headed inside. They stopped when a girl held out her hand.

"Tickets please." They looked at each other. Tickets? Sunstreaker smirked.

"Don't worry darling you don't need to buy a ticket to be admitted to my ride." The girl gasped and both twins smirked. They walked by her still form and Sideswipe slapped his twins hand. They walked in and stopped. People were running around in a panic while long green reptiles chased them. They blinked.

"Huh. Humans are weird."

"You said it. Alright, I'll start over there, and you start over there. We'll meet in the middle and compare our scores."

"You're on." They both went in opposite directions, failing to notice a short brown haired girl walking by with an alligator on a leash. It was rather interested in the flamingos, as was its owner.

"Alright Jacques, find Jazz!" The alligator stared at her, before snapping at her ankles.

"Jacques! No! Now find Jazz!" They took off and rounded the corner, more people backing away from them.

"So, they're pink cause they eat pink fish things? Fascinating." Jazz stood next to a crowd of female zoo workers, pondering the pink birds. He was still shirtless, and they couldn't stop staring at him. He looked worriedly over at the large male crowd around Alex, should he go back over to her? He'd rather play around with her than have some other guy do it. On second thought…..

"Wow, you're so interesting."

"So tell us, where did you get that tattoo?" Jazz blanched. Tattoo?

"Girl, you gotta be tired cause you've been running through my mind all day." Sunstreaker leaned against the wall next to a short blonde girl and mentally patted himself on the back when she swooned. He walked past a few alligators and peered curiously. Hmmm, why were all those guys standing over there? He walked over and pushed through the crowd. There was a lawn chair facing away from him. He could see long bare legs stretched out and a hand come up and flip long, silky hair. Ahh, so this must be the 'queen bee' or top female. If he seduced her, he'd win for sure. He walked up behind the chair and leaned over it.

"You have nice legs, what time do they open?" The girl turned around and Sunstreaker stared in horror.

"Aaaaalex." He eeped. She pointed at him.

"Do you even know what that means? What are you doing here? You're such a pervert!" She said all this very quickly and waved her lollipop at him threateningly. The guys backed away. Sunny put his hands up and stared at her. Alex was the top girl here? He stared at her in shock. She jumped when Sideswipe came up behind her and flung his arms around her.

"Hey Alex, how's it going." She crossed her arms.

"What are you doing?"

"Trying to beat each other in picking up chicks. And since you failed with Alex, that means I win!" Alex turned back to Sunstreaker.

"You were trying to pick me up! You pervert!" She slapped him and he stood there while she stomped off. She was walking toward a bunch of alligators. Where was Jazz? "Alex, wait!" He ran after her and Sideswipe sighed.

"And you shall be Professor Fuzziwigs." Charlie patted the large boa constrictor around her neck. She walked out of the reptile house and headed towards the bird house. "Jazz!" She spotted Jazz and skipped over to him dragging Jacques behind her.

"Charlie?"

"What's up Jazz?"

"Charlie, there are two large reptiles around you."

"Yeah this is Jacques and his pet boa Professor Fuzziwigs."

"Jazzikins, wait up!" A large crowd of females surrounded Jazz.

"Heh, sorry ladies." Sideswipe stared. So did Alex and Sunstreaker.

"I, how---" Jazz shrugged.

"Guess I'm what they call a babe-magnet."

"Amen." Sunstreaker glared at Alex, who walked over to Jazz and put her arms around him.

"Hey!" Sideswipe crossed his arms.

"So, Jazz wins." Charlie walked up to him solemnly, covered in reptiles.

"Yes." He turned to stare at her. Then he started screaming.

"AHHHHHH!!! Slimy organics!!!! RUN AWAY!!!" Sideswipe ran away, screaming into the night.

"Huh? Didn't see that one coming."

Elsewhere back at the base…

Wheeljack solemnly walked towards Ratchet's med bay, he had been researching what other things could be made from paper and had been fascinated with paper cranes. He promptly folded around two hundred of them. He had been admiring them and thinking of giving one to Charlie when they blew up.

"I blew up paper." Ratchet regarded him.

"I know. I just put it on the list of things you're not allowed to touch." Wheeljack looked down.

"Add duct tape to the list too."