Me: Hello to all! This is my HOW IN THE WORLD! prequel. You must read this BEFORE chapter 8 which I will post as soon as it's finished!*dodges tomato*
Hey! Don't throw my precious at me! *glares*
Legolas:*whispers to Savanah* Should I be concerned? she didn't do this in the previous story.
Savanah: *whispers back* I think she finally caught the Fandom disease.
Me: Anyway, for this story and for HOW IN THE WORLD! I will be putting random quotes from different fandoms in the story, and I want YOU to find them. AND NO LOOKING AT THE REVIEWS! At the beginning of each chapter I will tell you which fandom the quote is from then you send me a review with the quote and in the next chapter I'll tell you if your right or not! There is not one in this chapter but in the next one and chapter 8 there will be. Leggy! do the disclaimer!
Legolas:*opens mouth to protest*
Savanah: *whispers in his ear*The sooner you do it the sooner we can get out of here.
Legolas: sweetheartcat5 does not own anything Lord of the rings or hobbit related.*to me* I refuse to do it next time. *glares*
Me: Don't worry *rubs hand together evilly* I have other captiv-I mean volunteers*grins innocently* to do it for the next few chapters.
Thranduil: *walks by*
Me: Gaston!
Thranduil:* slowly turns to face me with apprehensive face* Yyyeeees?
Me: *approaches Thranduil* Remember when I promised to show you my new guest room?
Thranduil: *makes a run for it*
Me: Hey! Come back here! *runs after Thranduil*
Savanah: *watches* Do you think we should help him?
Legolas:*shakes head* No lets go rescue her "volunteers"
Savanah: *nods*
Legolas and Savanah:*backs away slowly*
I sighed tiredly as I walked through the door to the home I shared with my sister Luria. Today was the worst day of my life (the most recent one any way, in the near future I would have a bunch more of those). First, I slept in so I fell out of bed trying to get up, then I discovered that we were out of food and had to stop at Burger king to get breakfast on before I dropped my sister off at school, then I was nearly late for an import meeting with the manager of the Kansas City Renaissance festival and barely managed to get my sister and I a stage, then at lunch I found out my parents had died in a car accident, the rest of the day passed in a blur with small clear pieces every now and then, one of which I forgot to pick up my sister from school. And now I have to tell HER that Mom and Dad are dead. Like I said; worst. Day. Ever. As I entered the living room I threw my things on to the couch and sunk into a chair.
"Sis, what's going on? I haven't seen you like this since HIM." Luria demanded as she stood in front of me with her hands on her hips. HIM, is a previous boyfriend of mine that I caught cheating on me after a trip to North Carolina.
"You may want to sit down." I said with a sigh. She complied, plopping on the chair across from me. "Mom and Dad are dead." I stated watching her facial expression carefully; if she exploded I wanted a warning.
"Oh" she breathed before running to her room. That could have been SO much worse. I sighed and went to the kitchen to put away the groceries. Once I was done with that I grabbed a quick snack and went up to my room. The next week would be chaos, I just knew it. I need a nap. I stumbled into my room, locked the door, and collapsed on my bed, asleep by the time my head hit the pillow.
I groggily sat up on the soft grass….. wait… grass? I thought I fell asleep on my bed. How did I get here? Where is here? Maybe this is a dream… And then…. I looked down at myself, strapped to my hips were two twin swords. Yeah, most defiantly a dream, a cool dream, but still a dream. After recovering from the shock of me with swords, I finally took notice of my surroundings. Apparently I was dreaming about the Lord of the Rings, since I was currently in the Shire, of course it could be The Hobbit, I insisted on making my sister rewatch all of the The Hobbit movies with me a day or two ago. Only way to determine which one it is, is to go to find Bag End. With that thought in mind I walked toward the small town of Hobbiton. Around night fall after some wandering I found Bag End. Just as I was about to knock I noticed two figures walk up the path, I quickly flicked up my hood, that I found out earlier turns dream me invisible, I step to the side as they approached. I nearly squealed like the fangirl I am when I saw who it was. I bet you can guess! If you guessed Fili and Kili then you guessed right. They rang the bell and waited for someone to open the door. A moment later the door opened revealing Bilbo Baggins in a bath robe.
"Fili"
"And Kili"
"At your service." They said bowing.
"You must be mister Boggins" Kili said smiling.
"Nope you can't come in, you must have come to the wrong house." Mister "Boggins" said starting to close the door.
"Has it been canceled?" Kili asked shoving the door back open.
"No one told us" Fili pitched in.
"C-canceled, nothings been canceled." Bilbo stuttered.
"That's a relief." Kili breathed before barging in to the poor hobbits home, Fili swaggering in right behind him, and me right behind Fili.
"Careful with these, I just had them sharpened." Fili told Bilbo thrusting his weapons at the hobbit.
"It's nice this place." Kili said wandering around "did you do it yourself?" I heard him ask as I wandered to the dining room for some food. Dwalin and Balin were putting tables together for the rest of the guests and getting food from the pantry and putting it on the table. Balin took a small break to lead kili to the dining room so he could help. Moments later the bell rang and Bilbo went to get it complaining about dwarfs all the way. Suddenly the hobbit hole was overflowing with dwarfs and wizard. I snacked on the food I had snatched as the dwarfs feasted with Bilbo watching from the hallway. Suddenly Gandalf dragged me out of site of everyone else.
" you are only an observer do not interfere." He whispered, I nodded and he turned to talk to Bilbo.
"Excuse me?" Ori interrupted " Sorry to interrupt but what should I do with my plate?" Before Blbo could answer Fili came over.
"Here you go, Ori give it to me." He commanded. Knowing what should happen next I wet into a corner where I could hear but still be out of the way, at the same time Fili tossed the plate to Kili and he tossed it to a dwarf in the kitchen.
"Take that back. Excuse me!" Bilbo protested as the dwarves continued to throw the dishes. "That's my mothers west farthing pottery, it's over a hundred years old!" The dwarves ignored him for the most part except for a laugh or two as they continued to throw the dishes and pound out a beat with the silverwear. "And could you not do that? You'll blunt them."
"Ooh." Bofur said "Do you here that lads? He says we'll blunt the knives."
"Blunt the knives, bend the forks" Kili started while I sang along softly.
"Smash the bottles and burn the corks."
"Chip the glasses and crack the plates"
"That's what Bilbo Baggins hates!"
"Cut the cloth tread on the fat"
"Leave the bones on the bedroom mat"
"Pour the milk on the pantry floor"
"Splash the wine on every door"
"Dump the crocks in a boiling bowl"
"Pound them with a thumping pole"
"When you're finished if they are whole"
"Send them down the hall to roll" and with a flourish a couple of beats later they finished with a loud:
"That's what Bilbo Baggins hates!" Followed by a large amount of laughter and suddenly I was in a deferent place entirely.
Savanah:*picking lock to cage with Elrond, Thorin, Fili, and Kili inside*
Legolas: *whispers* Hide! She's coming!
Savanah and Legolas: *hide behind cage*
Me:*walks in with a tied up Thranduil* Right this way. I don't know why you didn't want to see it. It's a gorgeous cage- I mean room.*unlocks door* See? Isn't it lovely?*shoves Thranduil in* *locks door* Hope you like it! I got to go work on the next chapter.*walks out*
Elrond: *whispers* She's gone.
Legolas and Savanah: *come out from behind cage*
Savanah:*starts to pick lock again*
Thranduil:*eyes dwarves distastefully* can we leave them here?
Thorin, Fili, Kili, and Savanah: NO! *glares*
Cage: click
Savanah:*carefully opens door*
Elrond, Thorin, Fili, Kili, and Thranduil:*walk out of cage*
Legolas: This way. *leads way to the room I'm in*
Me:*muttering to self* BRILLIANT!
Everyone:*jumps* *freezes*
Me: Bilbo can do the next disclaimer, and Thranduil can do the last one! *laughs evilly*
Everyone:*slowly sneaks behind me*
Me: Come Savanah! *Grabs Savanah* Let's go catch Bilbo! *drags Savanah off*
Savanah: *wails dramatically* SAVE YOUR SELFS!