Fandom: Gaston Lagaffe
Pairing(s): Prunelle/Gaston, Part 1 of a series.
Summary: Léon Prunelle had no interest in any kind of romance, and that was how he preferred it. But then, of course, Gaston Lagaffe happened.
Rating: I'd let my mum read this.
It all started with something Prunelle noticed Miss Jeanne doing.
Of course, it wasn't her fault.
No, like almost everything that went wrong in Prunelle's life (And the office in general), it could be led back to one Gaston Lagaffe.
But that day, Prunelle had felt like he had already dealt with his daily dose of Gaston, after yelling him to get rid of the ants (Ants! The idiot had started to breed ants in the office, rogntudjuu!), and the sickly sweet smell hanging thick in the building. (Which Prunelle suspected was related to the ant-problem.)
In any case, yelling had happened, and Gaston had been forced to clean up the remains of the ant-hill middle of the staircase. Prunelle had decided to stay and keep an eye on him. Partly because he was convinced the slacker would turn and run, or fall asleep, or melt into a puddle simply to avoid anything resembling work, if he wasn't there keeping watch.
And partly because he was holding out hope some of the contracts the ants had used to build their nest could be recovered in good enough shape.
So, he was there watching, when he noticed he wasn't alone. Miss Jeanne had stopped on her way to the office, and was looking at something.
Typical, Gaston's influence was spreading. Soon no-one would do any work around the place.
But there was something odd about the way she acted, turning red and avoiding Prunelle's eyes when she noticed he was looking at her, and hurried on her way.
Prunelle decided to ignore it (at least she had returned to work) but later he caught her doing it again.
She was staring at Gaston.
Not only that, but as Prunelle realized, she was staring at his butt.
He turned into a light shade of pink upon realizing it. He had known they had a relationship of some kind, but it was quite different to realize she would be checking him out.
He just preferred NOT to know anything about is coworkers sex lives, thank you very much!
Was it even that good of a butt?
It was a good view, he had to admit, as the younger man was bending over to sweep the trash off the floor, his jeans hugged his posterior quite snuggly, which Prunelle assumed women found appealing. Not that he would know much about that.
He was shaken from is reverie by the subject of is thoughts. "Heey, Prunelle."
"WHAT?" That came out a bit more guilty than he liked. He hurried to add: "What now? I'm busy!"
Gaston shrugged. "Suure. You have just been lazing around, staring at me working."
Prunelle really hoped is blush could be confused for anger or frustration. "Someone has to keep an eye on you, Lagaffe!"
"I'm done now."
"No you aren't!" Now the blush on his face was starting to signal actual anger. Good.
He signaled towards the filing cabinet. "Did you clean from under it!? Did you, rogntudjuu!?"
Gaston muttered something under his breath, and bent over, giving anyone who was willing to pay attention (at the moment only his boss) an excellent view on his behind and bare lower back.
Prunelle was sure his heart stopped. "Nevermind!" And with that he was off, leaving one confused, but relieved coworker behind.
Prunelle slammed the door of his office shut.
He wasn't exactly sure why he was so angry, but this time Gaston had gone too far!
He started rearranging is desk, hoping it would calm him down. No such luck.
That Gaston! How he dared to- to bend over so suggestively! Surely that was classified as sexual harassment!?
What if people had noticed he had noticed!?
Oh God, what if they thought he had abused his position as a boss to make him do that!? What if someone with a dirty mind would-
He reached out to his pills.
It was okay, he told himself. It was all just his imagination. He had done nothing wrong. It wasn't wrong to notice, was it? To look at something that was right in front of you?
He tried to imagine if it was a lady. Would it be inappropriate?
He was sure that kind of stuff went on, lucky for him he had always been work-oriented enough to avoid getting involved with anything like that. But Jeanne for example had certainly been doing the same thing…
Not that he had been doing it for the same reasons she had, of course.
He needed to get out, walk a bit, so he picked some papers. Might as well go and take them to the accounting now.
Prunelle passed Jeanne on the way.
He stopped, making a show of reading the papers, but in actuality observing her. At least she was hard at work now. Careful so that no-one noticed, he glanced at her butt, trying to gauge how wrong it was.
Not that he cared much, it wasn't the same somehow.
He continued his walk, deep in thought.
"ZZZZZZZzzzzzzz…"
He stopped. It was a force of habit, he supposed.
Yes, that was the only explanation as to why he had walked into Gaston's room.
Well, there was always something he could yell at him for, some work he would try to get him to do…
"Get up, rogntudjuu."
But that came out much more silent than he intended, almost like he didn't really wish to wake him up.
"Nooommfh…"
The idiot was talking in his sleep!
"Lunch is ready." Prunelle tried, curious to see what his reaction would be. And he got a response. "I ate it allreadmm…"
Now this gave him an idea. He had heard of this kind of sleep-learning before.
"Work is fun." He whispered to his ear.
Gaston frowned. "NNoooommmh…"
"Sleeping at home is good." Prunelle tried.
This got a relaxed smile that unnerved him a bit. He hoped he didn't accidentally influence him to sleep more.
"Sleeping at work is bad… Especially when you have documents to type that someone gave you."
"Rogntumfdjuu …"
Prunelle couldn't help a small smile. "Yes, your boss Prunelle would like them ready soon."
"Prunnnhm…" Astonished, Prunelle watched a smile spread to his face. Not a reaction he had expected.
"Léon Prunelle." He whispered again, just in case it was just a fluke.
This time the response was a soft moan that made breath caught in his throat.
And suddenly he was very aware of his position; that he had bended over the desk to invade the personal space of a sleeping man in order to whisper things to his ear.
Rogntudjuu, he was close enough to kiss him.
No, bad thought! Something less suspicious! Close enough to bite his nose, to nibble on his… Well, that didn't come across any less WRONG.
He was still like a statue, or like a rabbit caught in the head lights, face mere inches from the sleeping idiot. He smelled sickly sweet, he noticed.
A slight turn in his sleep startled Prunelle, and he reacted in the way most natural to him; "ROGNTUDJUU!"
This woke the sleeper, making him fall off his chair. "Mmhuh!?"
"You!" Prunelle tried to quickly think something. He could give him some work to do, or reprimand him for something. He decided to go for the latter, if just to make sure he knew how this was all his fault.
"What is this sweet smell!?"
For once to Prunelle's relief, Gaston seemed guilty. "What smell!?"
"Don't you try that! This is an office, not a perfume parlor! You get rid of that this instant!"
He marched out of the room in a way that he hoped came across as determined rather than petty.
He had work to do! Articles to write! He ran back to his office, and resumed work.
But his thoughts just circled around certain someone.
What was wrong with him today? It was almost like he was a schoolgirl with a stupid crush!
That was ridiculous. Just foolishness…
But he couldn't run away from these unwanted thoughts. It was like a floodgate had opened and all the nightmarish things had started to rise to the surface, like a school of dead rotten fish.
And now he was looking back to his past behavior, trying to figure out if he had been doing things like this in the past and just not noticed what he was doing.
Yes, he had at times looked at Gaston, but not inappropriately! And true, he had at times had a passing thought on how he looked cute when he slept, or how it was a shame he had such a bad posture and didn't make any effort on his appearance, but that was just noticing things.
But for a moment there he had almost kissed him! He had certainly thought of it! Then again, he had also thought in passing of volunteering Gaston for a guinea-pig for NASA in the hopes they'd send him to moon, or of throwing him off the roof, or sticking a bicycle pump to his mouth and inflating him until he burst, and he had no intention of doing any of that in reality.
Dear God, what if that had all just been some weird sexual thing? Maybe he had a thing for doing things to his sexual partners that involved bicycle pumps!?
No no no.
He certainly wasn't gay.
He had kissed two different girls in high school and university, and it had been okay!
And even if he was homosexual (which he was NOT) surely he would have a better taste in men than that!?
"Lagaffe!"
Prunelle had decided to confront his problems head-on.
Hopefully just acting like everything was normal would help him get rid of these foolish stupid ideas the idiot had been sowing to his mind.
Unfortunately (although not altogether surprisingly) Gaston's room was a danger-zone, and as Prunelle opened the door and stepped in he was showered in sickly-sweet liquid. Followed by a bucket. And a blank of wood.
"Rogdun- blech!" He spit the liquid out and threw the bucket at Gaston who had made the mistake of bending down to help his newest victim up.
"Just look what you did!" Gaston reprimanded the now soaked man. "I just finished putting up that new shelf."
"On top of the door!?"
"Well, there was a good spot. And it was you who told me to clean it up."
"What was it?" Léon hoped it wasn't poisonous, at least. But you never knew with the man…
"It was my love-potion."
"It was a WHAT now?"
Gaston gestured towards his desk, that seemed to be filled by ants. "How do you think I manage to breed my ants? You need to carefully choose the ants that seem like they would make a cute couple and-"
"Ants!"
A feeling of relief washed over Prunelle.
So there was nothing wrong with him, it had all been just some stupid chemistry experiment.
But now he was doused with the stuff…
He stood there, unsure what to do. Gaston ignored his odd behavior. "Yes, and it took me such a long time to brew it, too… I need to save what I can."
He bent over to mop the liquid off the floor, ignorant of the effect it had on his boss.
This time, Prunelle allowed himself a good look at the view.
It was all just the fault of this weird concoction, that's all. He could feel it in his mind.
He supposed he could just as well go with it, just a bit.
Gaston wasn't unattractive, he supposed. And he had admirable qualities as well, and there were times he sort of enjoyed his company.
Did he really at that moment, want to lean in closer to touch him?
Yes, Prunelle decided he quite liked the idea.
He reached out to the younger man, and grabbed his arm to pull him up.
"Mmhuh? What now?"
Prunelle was aware he was going to regret this.
This was just the weird drug talking, it would wear off soon. (He hoped so, the thought of following Gaston around like a lovesick puppy for the rest of his life made his stomach churn.)
Right at that moment, though, he was aware that it could wear off any second, and then it would be too late.
He took another step, partly fearing, partly hoping that Gaston would just jump back, or push him away.
That, however, did not happen, and nothing stopped him from pushing his lips against Gaston's.
He wasn't sure what he had expected, but the fact that he kissed back was a surprise.
It was clumsy, and he managed to push Prunelle's glasses askew with his nose, which was quite uncomfortable, and Prunelle had no idea what to do with his hands, and it felt like his brain had stopped working. Presumably quite a while ago.
Also when he opened his mouth to breath, somehow it came out as a moan.
But more importantly, the slightly taller Gaston took this as invitation and pushed his tongue in to the foreign mouth.
This was enough to break through the haze, and the boss jumped back like he was bitten.
He wanted to express how inappropriate that all was and breaking all kinds of boundaries, which came out as :
"RUNGHHOUDHHHH!"
Gaston scratched his neck, confused. "Sure. What was that all about, by the way?"
"AS IF YOU DON'T KNOW!" He suddenly remembered he really didn't want an audience. "It was all your fault." He finished in a more silent tone.
"I don't know what you are complaining about. It wasn't me whose mouth tasted like tobacco."
This was all a nightmare. It had to be. "I am not having this conversation. In fact, we are not having this conversation. None of this happened, it was all the fault of that ant-thing of yours!"
"Ah, I see. You want me to get rid of them?"
"I already told you at least twice!"
And Gaston was left alone (with few hundred ants).
"So, how is it working? That ant-breeding experiment of yours." Jules asked, helping Gaston carry his ant-colony outside.
"It worked great. Ants love the stuff."
"What's in it?"
"Sugar. Also some water. Works great, though."
"And you are willing to give up your ant-colony?"
Gaston nodded. "Yeah. It has a really odd effect on some people, as I learned. I think Prunelle has some weird thing for ants or something."
"So, you want to set them free?"
"Yeah. Although…" Gaston licked his lips thoughtfully, "I might want to bring them back to the office sometime later. For scientific curiosity."
I wrote continuation on this, but at the moment (since there are about three people in the universe who ship this) I'm only submitting them to my Tumblr (mutalieju). You can find the link in my profile.