Hey people. Back in the writing scene. I know its been awhile. kinda lost the groove you know. but I am back. And I got a new idea. Now forgive me if you find this lame I thought it would be really funny. Any OOC is not my fault. I blame everything on the muffins. And now without any further Ado, the story.
*****
Would You Like a KameHameHa With That?
*****
"Get a what?" said Vegita as he layed in bed half-naked, staring out the window at the brightening sky as the sun rose.
"Don't play dumb with me," scolded a very impatient Bulma fighting with her hair, "A job, you need one and you know it."
"Women, Why in heavens name would I need a job? Your fathers company makes enough to support us and even Kakarotts family." he said with slight contempt, "So whats the point?"
Bulma turned to glare at Vegita, her hair momentarily subdued, "Vegita, We can't keep sponging off of my father. And even Chi Chi is making Goku get a job. I swear, if you hang around this house any longer your gonna start looking like Yajirobe..."
Vegita's face turned a deep shade of crimson as he hollered, "HOW DARE YOU COMPARE ME TO THAT BUFFOON?!"
Bulma turned back to the mirror ignoring her screaming husband. It was a common occurance in the capsule house for him to scream. And eventually she had learned to tone it out. If only it were that easy to tone out Trunks...
At just that moment a sudden crash resounded from the bottom floor and Bulma sighed heavily.
"Go see what your son is doing before he hurts himself..." She said to Vegita, who had curled back under the covers after he realized shouting at her was having no affect.
"My son?!" He said, his voice muffled by the pillow he had pulled over his head, "He's your son, I never claimed ownership of the little brat..."
"What am I going to do with you!" She groaned as she headed out the bedroom door and downstairs to find out what the little half saiya-jin was destroying now.
Vegita slowly climbed out of bed, grumbling about how little respect he was shown on this miserable planet. How he longed for the terror and respect he got when he was even a child on Vegita-sie. When people bowed before him as he passed. The good old days.
He made his way to the bathroom and stepped out of his trunks, and into a hot steaming shower. The water stung his skin, turning it a slight shade of pink and he leaned his arms against the wall, letting it run down his back.
"Why the hell should I get a job, blasted female...." He said to the shower head, not really expecting a response, as was customary when one spoke to indoor plumbing. He grabbed the shampoo and lathered up his long hair. One of the few things which actually pointed out that he was saiya-jin, considering he no longer had a tail. A saiya-jins hair is almost always naturally spiky. And it stood on end almost constantly. It was especially true in his case. Even Kakarott had a severe widows peak. He felt the need to get sick when he would look at his sons hair sometimes. That sickly human purple. It even came off in his eyes, those blue eyes, shining like two saphires, and so unlike the customary black eyes of a pure saiya-jin. Of all the images Vegita had ever pictured of his offspring, Trunks was most definatly NOT one of them.
He finished bathing and stepped out of the shower and turned to face himself in the full length mirror. While not as muscular and cut as he once was, he still retained much of his hard worked for figure. He flexed his chest, seeing the deep groves from his many battle scars. His chest expanded and created a deep valley between his pectorals. Farther down, the valley changed into the rolling hills of his abs. He pulled his arms forward and flexed his biceps, watching them jump to attention and swell to the size of small grapefruits, the veins on his forearms clearly visible.
Reluctantly he stopped flexing and reached for the towel hanging on the rack. He dried off his hair and then the rest of his body, wrapping the towel around his waist when he finished. as his hair dried it naturally straightened back up, and he ran a hand through his hair ringing out a little excess water.
He pulled open the medicine cabinet and grabbed his toothpaste from the shelf along with his toothbrush and closed the cabinet. He opened the bathroom door to let some of the steam out, and just in time for Trunks to come careening around the corner and collide with it. The small boy was naked from the waist down and got back up without even stopping to say "Ow!" before he went tearing down the hall way, his mother in hot pursuit waving a pair of pants.
He grunted in amusement and squeezed his toothpaste on the brush and started to scrub his teeth. He always hated this part of the morning. He had never done this untill he married Bulma. It hadn't seemed nesicary and was even painful at times. She had badgered him for 2 weeks, finally resorting to refusing to kiss him untill he did. So with much grumbling and his fair share of scowling he did.
With a strength beyond that of several normal men he did many things a bit to harshly. Brushing his teeth was one of these things and more often then not his gums began to bleed when he did this. He quickly finished and spit out the vile peppermint froth, rinsing his mouth several times to rid himself of the taste.
Bulma walked into the bathroom, her hair once again in a dissarray. She pecked Vegita on the cheek and giggled when his whiskers tickled her nose. "You really should shave..."
Vegita turned to glare at the wicked razor sitting on the back of the toilet. The sharp edge gleaming with an evil twinkle. How it loved to torment him. A thing of destruction, that was what he considered it, dangerous then even the most powerful blast he could muster. A cut from something like that just WOULDN'T stop bleeding. He mustered his courage and grabbed the offending thing.
After lathering his face with the can of cream he slowly pulled the razor across his cheek, pulling off the stubble, and ran it under the water. He was feeling proud as he managed to fend off the attacks of the razor when his cheeks were smooth. He stared dreadfully in the mirror at his goatee of shaving cream. he placed the razor to his chin and moved it slighty over the bottom oh his jaw. he swore as he felt the skin slice open, and then swore some more as he saw a drop of blood appear. From the amount of obscenities spilling forth from his mouth, you would imagine he had just been stabbed in the back with something almost to dull to cut through skin.
He finished shaving and then broke the razor in half and threw it into the trash can with a look of victory. The look faded when he glanced in the mirror at the 6 bits of toilet paper he had stuck to his chin. He scowled at the mirror and left the bathroom, heading back to his bedroom. Trunks came running down the hall again, this time naked from the waist up, and stopped momentarily to hug his fathers leg before bolting down the stairs.
He walked into the bedroom and closed the door, only to have it opened a second later as Bulma walked into the room. Tossing a small shirt on the bed, she flopped down next to it. "Thats it, I'm selling our son into slavery." She said with an exhausted huff.
Vegita smiled at her in the mirror and said "You know, I DO know of a couple planets that do that..."
Bulma rolled her eyes at him and stared up at the ceiling. She looked back at Vegita just in time to see him pull on a pair of jeans. he pulled a shirt out the dresser and slipped it around his shoulders, buttoning it up.
"So where are you going first?" She asked nonchalantly.
"You mean besides breakfast? I thought I would see if Kakarott wants to spar for a couple hours." he said evasivly.
"No your not. Your going to get a job like I told you earlier. Any idea where your gonna apply at?"
"How should I know? I've never tried to get a job. What do you think I should do?" Vegita said, almost hoping she would drop the subject if he made her do all the work.
"Well," she said, "You could try a moving company or something. You have the ability to do that. Or you could try someplace small for now, like McDonalds."
"Mc-What?" he said, puzzled.
"Oh Vegita, you know what I am talking about. That place with the big yellow arches..."
"OH! That place with those really good drinks. The thick ones." He sighed contentedly.
"They're called milkshakes, my love."
"Yea yea, Those things. Ok I'll try there. But if I don't like it I am leaving..." He warned.
"Fine, just don't hurt anyone. You remember how much trouble we had when you started taking potshots at the skydivers last spring during the Summer Pow Wow..."
Vegita burst out laughing at the memory of the humans falling from 40 feet in the air after he blasted away there 'chutes. He had to spend 40 minutes tryng NOT to kill the cops while they kept asking him where he hid the "ray gun." Eventually they had given up and let them go home. It had been worth it. Like leaving a plate of honey for flies right next to your frogs terrarium.
"I'm serious!! I don't wanna hafta come down and bail you out..." She said with a look that rivaled even what Chi Chi was capable of.
"Ok, ok. I won't hurt anyone..." He said reluctantly.
He made his way downstairs to the kitchen and poured himself a cup of orange juice while Bulma puttered about making coffee, and breakfast. While the coffee made his nose sting, the breakfast part really made Vegita's mouth water. After half an hour Bulma turned from the stove and set a plate with a mountain of pancakes on the table. Vegita did a double take as Trunks suddenly appeared in the seat next to him.
"Hungry Munchkin?" He said, now in a rather good mood since there was so much food.
Trunks bounced up and down and said something very quickly and repeatedly that sounded like "YESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYES" which he took to be a positive remark.
He reached up and pulled a dozen pancakes off the top and plopped em onto Trunk's plate. It had been a lesson well learned the first time they had pancakes when they gave Trunks some syrup. When he had done mowing through the first 20 pancakes the cieling was splattered along with everything and everyone else in the kitchen. Needless to say, Trunks ate his pancakes plain.
Vegita reached up and pulled himself down a plateful and drenched them in syrup. he grinned at his sun and gave the order to "Dig in!" With a blur of motion Trunks nailed his first couple pancakes, Not even bothering to realise that he had just cut them into pieces with the salt shaker he had accidently grabbed instead of his fork. As he swallowed the next four pancakes the rest of the plate was already on its way to his mouth, the salt shaker now abandoned, the pancakes not even bothered to be cut or chewed.
Vegita ate with the same enthusiasm, but with more dignity, although not much. Unlike Trunks he DID manage to grab the fork he had aimed for, but he didn't bother to cut them, he simply speared the helpless victims two at a time and devoured them. Soon the buttermilk mountain was nothing but 3 foot wide dinner plate covered in crumbs which Trunks was now greedily plucking from the plate.
Bulma sat back in her chair and sipped her coffee, smiling to herself. it had been a challenge learning how to feed just a pure saiya-jin, and when Trunks came along it seemed he sometimes had twice as much of an appetite. But she still managed to pull it off.
"Ok boys, she said. Out. I have housework to do. Trunks go play with Goten-" Before she could finish her sentence Trunks was halfway out the door. She bolted to it and hollered after him, "No super saiya-jin and NO fusing!! If I find out, so help me Kami I'll have your father tan your hide!!"
From the kitchen table Vegita belched and hollored, "Whats that supposed to mean? The boy gets enough sun. Don't you expect me to take him camping again!!"
Bulma wandered back into the kitchen and started cleaning up the dishes. She grabbed the empty plate from in front of Vegita and said, "And YOU go out and get a job."
"Yes, Dear," he said with a sneer and then kissed her softly. He wiped his mouth on his napkin and then walked to the front door. Pulling his keys from the table next to the door he waved to his wife and went outside. He floated up above the houses and treetops untill he could see the rest of the city. he could already feel Trunks and Goten's chi shooting around through the mountains in the distance. And off to the west, in the suburbs of the city he could feel Gohan. But what confused him the most was that he felt Kakarotts chi in the sky above him. He looked uo but saw nothing but an airplane. he decided he better get going before Bulma decided to come outside and yell at him for floating around...
He looked over at the city and looked around untill he saw the golden arches. Slowly he started to fly in there direction. Off to what was sure to be an interesting day.
*****
OK, I actually meant for this to be a one parter, and it wasn't nearly as funny as I had hoped. But here it is. hope you enjoy it. I'll see how soon i can get the next chapter out. Cya :)
*****
Would You Like a KameHameHa With That?
*****
"Get a what?" said Vegita as he layed in bed half-naked, staring out the window at the brightening sky as the sun rose.
"Don't play dumb with me," scolded a very impatient Bulma fighting with her hair, "A job, you need one and you know it."
"Women, Why in heavens name would I need a job? Your fathers company makes enough to support us and even Kakarotts family." he said with slight contempt, "So whats the point?"
Bulma turned to glare at Vegita, her hair momentarily subdued, "Vegita, We can't keep sponging off of my father. And even Chi Chi is making Goku get a job. I swear, if you hang around this house any longer your gonna start looking like Yajirobe..."
Vegita's face turned a deep shade of crimson as he hollered, "HOW DARE YOU COMPARE ME TO THAT BUFFOON?!"
Bulma turned back to the mirror ignoring her screaming husband. It was a common occurance in the capsule house for him to scream. And eventually she had learned to tone it out. If only it were that easy to tone out Trunks...
At just that moment a sudden crash resounded from the bottom floor and Bulma sighed heavily.
"Go see what your son is doing before he hurts himself..." She said to Vegita, who had curled back under the covers after he realized shouting at her was having no affect.
"My son?!" He said, his voice muffled by the pillow he had pulled over his head, "He's your son, I never claimed ownership of the little brat..."
"What am I going to do with you!" She groaned as she headed out the bedroom door and downstairs to find out what the little half saiya-jin was destroying now.
Vegita slowly climbed out of bed, grumbling about how little respect he was shown on this miserable planet. How he longed for the terror and respect he got when he was even a child on Vegita-sie. When people bowed before him as he passed. The good old days.
He made his way to the bathroom and stepped out of his trunks, and into a hot steaming shower. The water stung his skin, turning it a slight shade of pink and he leaned his arms against the wall, letting it run down his back.
"Why the hell should I get a job, blasted female...." He said to the shower head, not really expecting a response, as was customary when one spoke to indoor plumbing. He grabbed the shampoo and lathered up his long hair. One of the few things which actually pointed out that he was saiya-jin, considering he no longer had a tail. A saiya-jins hair is almost always naturally spiky. And it stood on end almost constantly. It was especially true in his case. Even Kakarott had a severe widows peak. He felt the need to get sick when he would look at his sons hair sometimes. That sickly human purple. It even came off in his eyes, those blue eyes, shining like two saphires, and so unlike the customary black eyes of a pure saiya-jin. Of all the images Vegita had ever pictured of his offspring, Trunks was most definatly NOT one of them.
He finished bathing and stepped out of the shower and turned to face himself in the full length mirror. While not as muscular and cut as he once was, he still retained much of his hard worked for figure. He flexed his chest, seeing the deep groves from his many battle scars. His chest expanded and created a deep valley between his pectorals. Farther down, the valley changed into the rolling hills of his abs. He pulled his arms forward and flexed his biceps, watching them jump to attention and swell to the size of small grapefruits, the veins on his forearms clearly visible.
Reluctantly he stopped flexing and reached for the towel hanging on the rack. He dried off his hair and then the rest of his body, wrapping the towel around his waist when he finished. as his hair dried it naturally straightened back up, and he ran a hand through his hair ringing out a little excess water.
He pulled open the medicine cabinet and grabbed his toothpaste from the shelf along with his toothbrush and closed the cabinet. He opened the bathroom door to let some of the steam out, and just in time for Trunks to come careening around the corner and collide with it. The small boy was naked from the waist down and got back up without even stopping to say "Ow!" before he went tearing down the hall way, his mother in hot pursuit waving a pair of pants.
He grunted in amusement and squeezed his toothpaste on the brush and started to scrub his teeth. He always hated this part of the morning. He had never done this untill he married Bulma. It hadn't seemed nesicary and was even painful at times. She had badgered him for 2 weeks, finally resorting to refusing to kiss him untill he did. So with much grumbling and his fair share of scowling he did.
With a strength beyond that of several normal men he did many things a bit to harshly. Brushing his teeth was one of these things and more often then not his gums began to bleed when he did this. He quickly finished and spit out the vile peppermint froth, rinsing his mouth several times to rid himself of the taste.
Bulma walked into the bathroom, her hair once again in a dissarray. She pecked Vegita on the cheek and giggled when his whiskers tickled her nose. "You really should shave..."
Vegita turned to glare at the wicked razor sitting on the back of the toilet. The sharp edge gleaming with an evil twinkle. How it loved to torment him. A thing of destruction, that was what he considered it, dangerous then even the most powerful blast he could muster. A cut from something like that just WOULDN'T stop bleeding. He mustered his courage and grabbed the offending thing.
After lathering his face with the can of cream he slowly pulled the razor across his cheek, pulling off the stubble, and ran it under the water. He was feeling proud as he managed to fend off the attacks of the razor when his cheeks were smooth. He stared dreadfully in the mirror at his goatee of shaving cream. he placed the razor to his chin and moved it slighty over the bottom oh his jaw. he swore as he felt the skin slice open, and then swore some more as he saw a drop of blood appear. From the amount of obscenities spilling forth from his mouth, you would imagine he had just been stabbed in the back with something almost to dull to cut through skin.
He finished shaving and then broke the razor in half and threw it into the trash can with a look of victory. The look faded when he glanced in the mirror at the 6 bits of toilet paper he had stuck to his chin. He scowled at the mirror and left the bathroom, heading back to his bedroom. Trunks came running down the hall again, this time naked from the waist up, and stopped momentarily to hug his fathers leg before bolting down the stairs.
He walked into the bedroom and closed the door, only to have it opened a second later as Bulma walked into the room. Tossing a small shirt on the bed, she flopped down next to it. "Thats it, I'm selling our son into slavery." She said with an exhausted huff.
Vegita smiled at her in the mirror and said "You know, I DO know of a couple planets that do that..."
Bulma rolled her eyes at him and stared up at the ceiling. She looked back at Vegita just in time to see him pull on a pair of jeans. he pulled a shirt out the dresser and slipped it around his shoulders, buttoning it up.
"So where are you going first?" She asked nonchalantly.
"You mean besides breakfast? I thought I would see if Kakarott wants to spar for a couple hours." he said evasivly.
"No your not. Your going to get a job like I told you earlier. Any idea where your gonna apply at?"
"How should I know? I've never tried to get a job. What do you think I should do?" Vegita said, almost hoping she would drop the subject if he made her do all the work.
"Well," she said, "You could try a moving company or something. You have the ability to do that. Or you could try someplace small for now, like McDonalds."
"Mc-What?" he said, puzzled.
"Oh Vegita, you know what I am talking about. That place with the big yellow arches..."
"OH! That place with those really good drinks. The thick ones." He sighed contentedly.
"They're called milkshakes, my love."
"Yea yea, Those things. Ok I'll try there. But if I don't like it I am leaving..." He warned.
"Fine, just don't hurt anyone. You remember how much trouble we had when you started taking potshots at the skydivers last spring during the Summer Pow Wow..."
Vegita burst out laughing at the memory of the humans falling from 40 feet in the air after he blasted away there 'chutes. He had to spend 40 minutes tryng NOT to kill the cops while they kept asking him where he hid the "ray gun." Eventually they had given up and let them go home. It had been worth it. Like leaving a plate of honey for flies right next to your frogs terrarium.
"I'm serious!! I don't wanna hafta come down and bail you out..." She said with a look that rivaled even what Chi Chi was capable of.
"Ok, ok. I won't hurt anyone..." He said reluctantly.
He made his way downstairs to the kitchen and poured himself a cup of orange juice while Bulma puttered about making coffee, and breakfast. While the coffee made his nose sting, the breakfast part really made Vegita's mouth water. After half an hour Bulma turned from the stove and set a plate with a mountain of pancakes on the table. Vegita did a double take as Trunks suddenly appeared in the seat next to him.
"Hungry Munchkin?" He said, now in a rather good mood since there was so much food.
Trunks bounced up and down and said something very quickly and repeatedly that sounded like "YESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYES" which he took to be a positive remark.
He reached up and pulled a dozen pancakes off the top and plopped em onto Trunk's plate. It had been a lesson well learned the first time they had pancakes when they gave Trunks some syrup. When he had done mowing through the first 20 pancakes the cieling was splattered along with everything and everyone else in the kitchen. Needless to say, Trunks ate his pancakes plain.
Vegita reached up and pulled himself down a plateful and drenched them in syrup. he grinned at his sun and gave the order to "Dig in!" With a blur of motion Trunks nailed his first couple pancakes, Not even bothering to realise that he had just cut them into pieces with the salt shaker he had accidently grabbed instead of his fork. As he swallowed the next four pancakes the rest of the plate was already on its way to his mouth, the salt shaker now abandoned, the pancakes not even bothered to be cut or chewed.
Vegita ate with the same enthusiasm, but with more dignity, although not much. Unlike Trunks he DID manage to grab the fork he had aimed for, but he didn't bother to cut them, he simply speared the helpless victims two at a time and devoured them. Soon the buttermilk mountain was nothing but 3 foot wide dinner plate covered in crumbs which Trunks was now greedily plucking from the plate.
Bulma sat back in her chair and sipped her coffee, smiling to herself. it had been a challenge learning how to feed just a pure saiya-jin, and when Trunks came along it seemed he sometimes had twice as much of an appetite. But she still managed to pull it off.
"Ok boys, she said. Out. I have housework to do. Trunks go play with Goten-" Before she could finish her sentence Trunks was halfway out the door. She bolted to it and hollered after him, "No super saiya-jin and NO fusing!! If I find out, so help me Kami I'll have your father tan your hide!!"
From the kitchen table Vegita belched and hollored, "Whats that supposed to mean? The boy gets enough sun. Don't you expect me to take him camping again!!"
Bulma wandered back into the kitchen and started cleaning up the dishes. She grabbed the empty plate from in front of Vegita and said, "And YOU go out and get a job."
"Yes, Dear," he said with a sneer and then kissed her softly. He wiped his mouth on his napkin and then walked to the front door. Pulling his keys from the table next to the door he waved to his wife and went outside. He floated up above the houses and treetops untill he could see the rest of the city. he could already feel Trunks and Goten's chi shooting around through the mountains in the distance. And off to the west, in the suburbs of the city he could feel Gohan. But what confused him the most was that he felt Kakarotts chi in the sky above him. He looked uo but saw nothing but an airplane. he decided he better get going before Bulma decided to come outside and yell at him for floating around...
He looked over at the city and looked around untill he saw the golden arches. Slowly he started to fly in there direction. Off to what was sure to be an interesting day.
*****
OK, I actually meant for this to be a one parter, and it wasn't nearly as funny as I had hoped. But here it is. hope you enjoy it. I'll see how soon i can get the next chapter out. Cya :)