Yorozuya Gakuen

by Salty-Storm and Trufflemix

Yorozuya Gakuen. A school for both humans and amantos to learn and cointeract in peace. A pretty good school, if not for the Insanity. But still, this school is home for the learning of both students and teachers. The reason why? Heck, if we know. 2 OCs

1. Don't Join a School Without An Interview

Blah Normal

"Blah" Talking

Blah Thinking

(Blah) Us

Blah Change of time, place, and POV

Intro:

Yorozuya Gakuen. A school for both humans and amantos to learn and cointeract in peace. A pretty good school, if not for the….

Crash!!

"Look what you did! You killed a volunteer! You just killed the student-teacher volunteer!"

"C-c-c-c-calm do-do-d-do-down! W-w-w-we just n-need to f-f-f-find a t-t-t-t-ti-ti-t-t-time-time-time time machine! Y-yeah, t-t-t-th-th-that's it! A t-t-t-t-time machine!"

"You're the one who needs to calm down! Idiot! That's a washing machine!"

… Insanity. But nontheless, this school is home for the learning of both students and teachers. The reason why? Heck, if we know.

Don't Join a New School Without An Interview- The Interview Is Everything!!

"So, as I was saying. If you mix this strawberry powder into the milk, the powder dissolves which means that the milk is the solvent and the powder is the solute. Not that it really matters since it's going to end up the same in my stomach whether or not it's soluble or not, but since I'm teaching, I have to say these things and everything I say is important."

"Gin-chan! I don't get anything you're saying-aru."

"I already told you! At school, it's Gintoki-sensei!"

"But Gin-chan, you're not teaching right!"

It was science period, and a silver-haired good for nothing man, Kintoki-sensei, was teaching his class about solubility.

"My name's not Kintoki, it's Gintoki! If my name was Kintoki this anime would be the name of a hentai show!"

"Ara? What are you talking about? This is real life, not your show ahahaha..."

"Senseiiiii..." Interrupted a black-haired girl, who was sprawled miserably onto her desk. "I'm huuuuuungry..."

Sensei chose to ignore the girl. Already used to her annoying antics. "Now where's the newbie?" Said the silver-haired teacher, with an exasperated tone in his voice.

"Is she edibleeeee? I'd eat anythiiiiiiiiiiiiiing..."

And then the door slid open and in walked a tall, pale, short haired brunette, looking extremely confused and lost.

"Eto... is this science with... Kintokidoki-sensei?"

The class burst out into a nervous racket once the girl came into view. Several students jumped up to hide under their desks.

"A foreigner! Is she an amanto terrorist? Should I get into defense mode?" Said the formally hungry girl, as she pulled out various kunais and other weapons. Her hunger temporarily forgotten as she pulled out her weapons, the class was getting boring and a good fight was just the perfect thing to keep her entertained and keep her distracted from her wailing stomach.

The brunette whipped around, her green eyes narrowing as her seemingly deadly glare swept across the room toward the anxious girl. "Who said that? I am not one of those amantos." She spat, her voice laced with disgust. "And if I were, what makes you think you could stop me?"

Gintoki eyed both girls with lazy interest. He wanted to stop teaching and just drink the mixture he had just taught the class about...maybe if the girls decided to fight, the class would be distracted just enough so that he could drink it. Heck, they'd probably forget the whole lesson altogether! His line of thought was suddenly interrupted by the black-haired girl suddenly standing up, causing her books to fall to the ground. Only one thought was then in the silver-haired, good-for-nothing man's head: 'Uh oh...' But he shrugged as he took a discreetly hearty sip of the pink liquid.

"You think you could get past me, foreigner? I bet you-"

"I know I could get past you, want me to prove it?" The brunette taunted, interrupting the other girl's sentence.

The black-haired girl opened her mouth, about to provoke the other girl more right when Gintoki yelled out "CUT IT OUT! Megumi!" He shouted, pointing his finger at the black haired girl. "The school doesn't want to pay for any more damages, after the chains of destructions you've already caused! We don't need you partnering up with the new student to get in more trouble. You're making my head hurt!"

"Yeah, Megu-neechan! Listen to Gin-chan, he pretends to know what he's saying-aru." A pale red-headed girl yelled out, even though the person she was yelling to was sitting right next to her.

Gintoki sighed, he was never going to be able to make her call him Gintoki-sensei, it just wasn't possible. After all, they did live together. (Don't think that way peoples!)

"You, girl at the door!" Gintoki-sensei said. "Are you the new kid?"

The brunette girl turned to Gintoki and looking him in the eye with a sarcastic overtone said "Nope, I'm just Santa making sure everyone is being good. And so far, everyone belongs on the naughty list." The class shifted into uncomfortable laughter, there was still a meanacing air hanging around the girl in question.

"Santa? You're Santa? I thought Santa was a big, fat man in a red suit!" The silver-haired man blinked, not really sure if he was buying it or not. "Well, sorry but, I don't believe in you anymore. I specifically told Santa to buy me a bankai last Christmas, and did Gin-chan get a bankai for Christmas? No! I didn't get anything even remotely like one! So what brought the change, Gramps?"

"I lost weight and had a sex-operation, isn't it obvious?" The brunette retorted. 'This is a ridiculous class. And here I thought I would be challenged. I clearly wasted time and effort moving here. The teacher is obviously an idiot and only wants to drink that strawberry milk sitting on the counter.'

"Gin-chan! Don't listen to her-aru." The redhead yelped dramatically. "She's a newbie! Smell the newness of her! It smells like a freshly open box of sukonbu! Here, if you take a bite, then it'll probably taste like one!"

"Then can I eat her sensei?" The black haired girl, Megumi asked, with an evident teasing tone to her voice, as she grinned at the the new girl, before remembering that she was her newfound enemy, and momentarily frowned in uncertain...-ness.

'Oh looks like someone in this classroom has some IQ points, though the amount of said points is definitely in question...' The brunette thought to herself. "Ok, I admit it, I'm not Santa, It's Arashigoto Shiori, the transfer student."

"Ah, I see, That makes much more sense. Okay, new-kid introduce yourself to the class then sit down next to eto...Megumi!" Gintoki said with a hint of self-satisfaction after looking around. 'Seating those two next to each other will definitely make this class more fun.' he figured, he blinked again. 'Hopefully no one gets killed, though. I'm tired of having to think up of more effective ways to clean bloodstains off of the school. Ugh, very messy business.'

"Hai. Konnichiwa. As I already said, I'm Arashigoto Shiori, I just transferred here. All I need to know from you people is who Megumi-san is." the brunette quickly said after standing in front of the room. After she said "Megumi." she turned to Gintoki-sensei with the question showing in her eyes. Gintoki just smirked after her declaration. With a smirk still on his face Gintoki raised his hand and pointed at the previous black-haired girl they both had trouble with earlier.

"That's Megumi. I hope you girls play nice and are able to help each other learn." Gintoki just smiled as he watched the self-satisfaction slip out of Arashigoto.

He found it all hilarious.

--

Megumi just sat there, trying to glare at Gintoki-sensei and that newbie, Arashigoto, at the same time. It was rather difficult and since she couldn't decide who she hated more at the moment she continued to try to glare at the two of them, what was even harder was the fact that they were placed in two opposite directions, thus explaining why she was trying to make her eyes pop out in different directions. Nonetheless, she continued her efforts until a growl slipped out of her stomach, she stopped glaring to rub her stomach in pity. "Senseiiiiiii I'm huuunnnngrrryyyyy, why do I have to sit by the mean new girl anyway? Go sit her in the back with the sadist instead." She said while still rubbing her growling stomach.

A caramel-haired (A/N: Salty-Storm: caramel-colored, not actually caramel...although that would be yummy delicious hair.) boy popped his head up from his desk in the back of the room. "Oi, Bakamono, don't drop off your problems on me. Besides, the new girl should be put by the China girl." Shiori rolled her eyes in exasperation. 'I have a name, you know! I mean, seriously! What a punk! Kinda cute... but a punk nonetheless! Therefore, I hate him!'

"Who are you calling China-girl, sadist freak- aru?" The redhead snarled.

"Obviously you, China-girl." The boy calmly replied. No one in the class was really suprised by this outburst, it happened on almost a daily basis, those two fighting. The only one suprised by the sudden clamor was the new girl, Arashigoto Shiori, who was seemingly forgotten.

She then realized that she wasn't as forgotten as she thought when Gintoki-sensei suddenly burst out, making the class go (for the most part) silent "Kagura, sit back down, Sougo-kun, stop trying to fall asleep and stop provoking Kagura. And Megumi... Stop trying to get Kagura and Sougo fighting to make us forget about putting Arashigoto-san by you. In fact, stop causing trouble! Period!"

Megumi grinned again. "Sorry sensei! You know I can't help it!" Shiori could tell that she was a cheerful person with that smile, but she just shrugged, not wanting to really know more about the girl further than that.

The redhead got off of her desk 'So that's Kagura.' Shiori put the name and face together in her mind so she would remember, and the boy in the back simply mumbled. "I wouldn't be falling asleep if this class wasn't so boring..." 'Hmm Sougo...Nice name...and face.' She smiled at the second thought but the smile was quickly smothered as she felt Gintoki-sensei's eyes on the back of her head.

Shiori slowly turned, like prey caught in the eyes of a predator, wondering if it could get away in time. "Arashigoto-san, please take a seat between Megumi and Shinpachi." Gintoki-sensei said with a slight smile on his face.

"Hai, Gintoki-sensei." Shiori sighed, hung her head and slowly trudged to the open seat between one girl who she'd already made enemies with and a boy that she was pretty sure was the other's friend. 'This is going to be a hard day...if not life. Why is the Demon-Lord doing this to me?' Right when Shiori sat down, much to her luck, the bell rang. The whole class collectively sighed in relief, it was passing time and they wouldn't get blamed for Megumi and the new girl's possible fight.

Right as everyone stood to leave, the door slid open. A few people groaned, what else would the universe throw at them? The person who stepped inside was a suprise to most of the people in the class. It was the Kendo and History teacher, who was also a fight monitor, Hijikata Toshiro-sensei.

Shiori could only stare at this new guest. She had a good reason, after all, Hijikata Toshiro is a rather popular teacher. After looking around, his eyes wandered over to the corner where she was sitting at. 'Is he looking at me? What did I do to him?' She wondered, but shrugged.

Some seconds after he walked in, there was the sound of a small explosion as a bazooka was fired in Hijikata's general direction. He quickly dived out of the way and the tragectory went through the open door and exploded against the wall above some unsuspecting 1st years heads.

"How many times do we have to tell you no bazookas at school Sougo-kun?" Gintoki-sensei asked.

"How many times do I have to tell you, Hijikata must be shot for his own protection?" Sougo replied, aiming the objectile at the chain-smoker once more.

"Everyone may leave except for those two girls." The chain-smoker, Hijikata, announced, while pointing to Megumi and Shiori. "That means that you leave Sougo and stop aiming at me".

Megumi gave a cry of distaste, as she abruptly stood up from her sitting position. "What? Why? I didn't do anything yet! I'm going to be late for my next class! It's math with Hasegawa-sensei! I have to make sure he doesn't suicide again!"

Hijikata turned around to give her a look that plainly said 'So what?', he lit a cigarette, ignoring Megumi's protest about secondhand smoke, and said, "I'll give you both a pass so you two stay and listen. Now for the rest of you? Get out."

Once the majority of the class had filed out, and rather quickly, he turned to Gintoki. "Why were those two fighting? Can't you do anything right?" Hijikata lightly accused. Their words of who was better at fighting entrigued him. Megumi was a strong fighter in various ways, after all, she was training 'discreetly' under two well-known ninjas. But sword-fighting and kendo didn't belong in her list of strengths. If this new girl was good at any type of fighting, then it would be a fight worth seeing. He quickly made himself stop thinking of fighting and made himself turn back to the problem at hand, why they were fighting.

"Words were said and they can't seem to get along." Gintoki answered, after it was obvious that Hijikata was paying attention once again.

"Well there's only one way to solve this problem." Hijikata smugly said. "Megumi can be, ah, what's your name?"

"Arashigoto Shiori desu." Shiori said uncomfortably. He may be extremely hot, but she knew that he wasn't trustworthy at the moment. His smug additude worried her the most. She had only known him for a few moments but she could tell he was up to something.

"I'm Hijikata Toshiro, the Kendo and History teacher. Anyways as I was saying, Megumi can be Arashigoto-san's guide until they are friends in my view."

"WHAT?!" Both girls exploded at the same time. Both teachers immediately thought that their eardrums had burst, the noise those two could make would scare any man.

"Both of you heard the Mayo, Megumi, You will be Shiori-san's guide until Mayo-sensei sees that it is unneccesary." Gintoki was worried after saying these words. The murderous look that passed between the girls was no longer so much focused on each other but on the two men that had forced them to be together. He wanted to run for the hills with his strawberry milk and live happily ever after with no more murderous teenage girls. They didn't necessarily frighten him, after all, he was called 'Shiroyasha' back then for a reason. He just really wanted his strawberry milk, and to be away from the muderous teenage girls... but the strawberry milk was the real reason. All the milk.

"Alright, you're dismissed."

The girls made no attempt to move, as they continued glaring at the two teacher's.

"Hey! I said you're dismissed! Now shoo! Shoo!"

--Math, Next Period--

"What are you trying to pull, foreigner!?"

"Me? What about you, you idiot of a human? You got a math problem wrong, and I corrected you! Fool!"

This was what could be heard in the hall near the location of Hasegawa's math class.

"Now, now, girls! No need to cause a ruckus!" Hasegawa, the math teacher stuttered, desperately trying to quell the situation. "U-um, well, Shiori isn't a foreigner, and Megumi-chan is definitely not an idiot of a human or a fool! You guys are partners!"

"But she is a foreigner-terrorist!" Megumi protested with fire blazing in her eyes.

"And she is an idiot of a human fool, you Madao!" Shiori added, equally as enraged as the girl she was arguing with.

"Why does everyone call me that?" Hasegawa sighed, stepping onto a stool that stood behind a readily prepared rope. "This time, it's too much, I must give up..."

Megumi's eyes popped out. "Sensei! Not again!" And she whipped out a kunai and threw it at the rope that was encircling his neck, narrowly missing the top of his head.

"Sigh! I was so close this time too." Said the sunglasses wearing teacher.

"This school's seriously messed up. I shouldn't have come, I shouldn't have come, I shouldn't have come..." Was heard from the new girl, as she muttered her curses.

--Home Economics--

Situation repeats. Nothing more to say, except there was some mild threatening with burnt food. Tamagoyaki.

--Health--

Situation repeats. But more graphically verbal.

--Language Arts--

Deja vu once more, this time with a home economics-teacher-stalking-gorilla.

--Lunch--

Attempted food fight, resistance was quelched quickly through the use of restraints.
Then both returned to their next class late after more threatening from both teachers and the other girl.

--Music and Fine Arts--

Since the girls were FINALLY separated, all was calm...with the two of them.
Megumi had Music and Shiori had luckily chosen Fine Arts as her special class.

--P.E.--

Luckily there were no weapons in this class...Sadly there was dodgeball, it was a rather busy day for the school nurse. Of course not including Megumi or Shiori. But the teacher got to see the nurse instead.

--History-- (A/N: scary music. Dun dun DUUUUN!!)

"You idiot! You don't even know what you're talking about!!"

"Well maybe because I'm not from here, ever think about that idiot?!"

"Then you shouldn't of said anything!" Megumi screeched back. This new girl was infuriating in so many ways. She just didn't know when to shut her mouth.

"You started it, you idiot of a human!"

"That insult doesn't even make any sense!"

"Oh, real mature comeback."

"It wasn't even a comeback!"

"Sure it was, you said it back to me didn't you?" Shiori slyly replied. Megumi was rather fun to annoy, even if she was brash and annoying sometimes.

"Oh, like you know everything! Seriously! Why can't you keep your comments to yourself! Like I want to hear everything you have to say!"

"Like everyone wants to hear what you have to say!" The brunette shot back with minimal effort.

"Well, most of the time I'm not talking to you! You just keep butting in!"

"Learn how to listen to your own advice." The brunette taunted.

"Well that's kinda hard since you never talk, except when you're insulting me!"

Just as Shiori was about to retort to this comment, Hijikata came inside the room.

(A/N: Dun dun DUNNER!!)

Hijikata raised his eyebrow, as he stared at the girls. They stared right back, they were wondering what he was going to do when he caught them fighting again, not that they really cared or anything, they liked fighting with each other too much. They just wanted to know if the punishment was going to be as troublesome as the first one.

'What the hell is he doing here...is he stalking us?' Shiori was asking in her mind over and over (AN2: Paranoia). But it appears that Hijikata had strong telepathic powers for he raised the other eyebrow so that both were hiding behind his black bangs.

"I teach this class, remember?" Hijikata stated, answering her unsaid question.

"DUDE!! SOOOOO not cool! Stay out of my mind! I forgot, that's all!" Shiori shot back, panicked that he had somehow overheard her internal dialouge. She briefly wondered if he had read her 'other' private thoughts.

"What are you talking about foreigner?" Megumi giggled.

"You're in no position to say this, Baka." Sougo yawned as he lazily sat up, momentarily forgetting to shoot at the mayonnaise-obsessed teacher "That's what you always say, word for word. I'm surprised it's not you saying it this time."

"Oh, shut up you conversation-butter-inner! Just who's side are you on! And stop calling me that, you sadist-freak!" Megumi pouted, feeling very betrayed by her sadistic, but still cool, best friend. Her wounded mood was soon forgotten by Shiori's next comment.

"Hey!! Don't group me in with her!" Shiori protested, suddenly popping back into the conversation.

"What'd you say foreigner!!"

"You heard what I said... Baaaaaakaaaaaa!"

"Get in your seats class." Hijikata calmly ordered, FINALLY speaking up. "I've just now decided what our project for this week will be." Just then Hijikata looked pointedly at Shiori then Megumi, and then back at Shiori. "We'll have partners... That I am assigning."

The whole class groaned. Shiori looked over at Megumi, for she knew that this assignment was her fault. Megumi gave an agitated sigh, slumped into her seat and put her headphones in her ears, nodding her head to the music.

'Guess she knows too.' Shiori figured. She blinked. 'Damn, I forgot my music player at home today! CRAP!... hmm, I wonder what she's listening to...'

After Hijikata finished assigning the duos for his class, he explained what the actual project was about. "For this assignment you must interview two people who lived through the Joi War. Ask them about their experience, and their opinions on it. Now discuss."

Megumi looked up just as Shiori walked over. She took out an earpiece and gave a sheepish look towards the brunette in question. "What are we supposed to do? I wasn't really listening..."

Shiori gave her a look. "I can see that." Earning a grin from the ebony-haired girl. Shiori chuckled, both forgetting their rivalry for the moment as she explained their task.

Megumi had a thoughtful look on her face. "Hey, you can come over to my house after school if you want. Since we kinda need to work together, you know. Just don't burn the place down."

Shiori shrugged. "Sure. Just let me call my parents about it for a minute." She told her. Megumi gave a sort of nod in acknowledgment as she stuck her earphones back into her ear, nodding to the music once more.

-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --

A/N: There are two of us!! BWA HA HA HA HA HA HA FEEL OUR EVIL WRATH!!

So Trufflemix will be this; italic bold
And I (Salty Storm) will be regular bold!

Nya ha ha, I'm the fancier word!! LOSER!!

Well, anyways, we should sooo translate the Japanese words that we said in the story
Trufflemix doesn't always know what she's saying; sorry!!

Poor Stormy. Poor, poor, delusional Stormy..

anywhom--

Gakuen - School
Kin - Gold (Figure out why it's a hentai name on your own!)
Hentai - pervert/perverted
tokidoki - Sometimes
eto - umm
hai - yes (though you should probably know this already)
Konnichiwa - good afternoon/hello (Shiori probably should have said Ohayoo Gozaimasu--good morning, but she's a foreigner...)
Baka - stupid/ fool
bakemono - monster/beast (so Sougo mixed the two words together, to create the pet name for Megumi)
bakamono - foolish or stupid monster (we just made it up...so don't take it too seriously!)
Madao - (roughly) totally useless middle-aged man (First letter of each word in japanese, an acronym)
-aru - Kagura's chinese accent

Name Meanings for fun...Not entirely sure, could be wrong so don't HATE US!!

Arashigoto Shiori
Arashi - storm
goto - thief/ burglar
Shiori - poetry or weaving or purple or salt or sea waves

Sengoku Megumi
Sen - fight or thousand
Goku - ultimate or best
Megumi - Blessing

Any comments or questions or requests are welcome...reviewing also helps --hint hint--