The Last Goodbye
By: Pinkjasmine
ONE-SHOT
~
I faced the inevitable.
I had fallen into depression.
It took me one whole month before I accepted the fact.
I knew that depression could happen to anyone.
But me?!
I never would have thought.
I sighed as I stared at my math homework.
I hate math.
I hate myself.
I hate my life!
I continued to stare at my math uncomprehendingly.
Who cares about algebraic expressions?
I turned and focused on the little penknife beside my textbook.
I picked it up, and fingered it lovingly,
The carefully engraved handle,
The sharp, shiny, polished blade.
"Whoops," I said when I felt the tip of the blade prick my index finger.
I didn't really mind the blood trickling slowly down my finger.
It didn't really hurt.
I sighed again as I tried to count the times when I had that knife in my hand.
Poised to bring it down, and meet the flesh covering my veins.
But I didn't.
Why?
Cause something.
No, someone,
Was holding me back.
That someone that I was allowed to see one last time.
Why?
My mother wanted to seal the well.
The well that connected the feudal age, to the modern era.
My mother thinks that witnessing demons being slain and slaughtered contributed to my depression.
Did it?
I don't really know or care.
~
I closed my math book, and stood up.
I looked at my backpack filled with clothes, ramen, and candies. I packed it because I thought I would be staying in the Sengoku Jidai for at least a week.
But not anymore.
I strode over to the bag, and emptied the contents onto my bed.
I'll clean it up later, but right now there's something else that's more important.
I walked down the stairs, and paused at the backdoor. I turned the doorknob, pushed open the door and stepped into the calm, cool night.
I headed straight to the well house, I hesitated as I saw the well right in front of me.
I knew that this visit would be the last, and the most painful one.
~
I jumped down the well, and the familiar blue light surrounded me.
I ended on the soft dirt of feudal Japan.
Even with my eyes closed, I could feel the change between the times.
Right now the air was purer than at home.
The night more dark.
Perhaps it was due to the fact that streetlights weren't invented yet.
The stars were more visible.
I heard a rustle and knew it was him.
After a few moments in the well, I would be pulled out of it by a furry- eared hanyou.
And sure enough, I felt myself being lifted up.
"Thanks Inuyasha." I smiled at him, even though that was the last thing I felt like doing.
He started to walk away, expecting me to follow.
Normally I would have been angered by this display, but since this is a special occasion, I'll let it go.
"Where are we going?" I voiced what I was wondering.
He replied "Kaede's hut, where else?"
"I don't want to go there." I blurted out.
Inuyasha finally stopped walking and looked at me. "Where do you want to go then?"
"Umm. . . I just want to walk around."
He looked at me through narrowed eyes.
"Why?" He asked curiously.
I shrugged. "No reason."
I started to walk away, not caring where I was going.
"Hey wait, Kagome!"
With his fast reflexes, and him being a half-demon he quickly caught up to me.
He walked beside me, "what's up with you?"
I pondered that question, how could I answer that?
"Inuyasha . . ." I started. Ugh, how was I going to explain this to a hanyou who's thicker than the floors of Tokyo Tower jammed together?
"Umm. . . I won't be visiting for a while."
I saw his face contort in fury.
Uh oh, if that's how he reacts when he heard that, I wonder what he'd do if he learned of my mom sealing the well.
"What about the shikon jewel?" he demanded.
"It only needs one more shard before it's completed." I argued. "It's not going to do any harm." Although I knew it wasn't true.
"No harm?" he cried incredulously. "One shard in the wrong hands can do a lot of damage."
"You are perfectly capable of slaying the demons bearing the shard, why do you need me?"
"Because you're the only one that can actually see the jewel, and you're the only that can purify it."
I sighed, we've had this argument a lot of times, but I needed to find an excuse so it would sound as if I wasn't needed here.
"Does this have anything to do with Kikyou?" he questioned suspiciously.
"No." I answered hurt. Rage seared inside me as I heard that name.
"Do you still miss her? Is that why you say her name?"
"No! But you always say 'Am I just your jewel detector?' he mimicked my voice, "whenever you see Kikyou with me."
I glared at him.
~
We walked around and found a bow and some arrows lying scattered and abandoned.
I stopped and picked them up.
Just in case we run into some demons.
I sighed, before I came here I couldn't even hold a bow properly, but now, I can shoot accurately.
I learned a lot here, Kaede taught me which herbs could be used for healing, and I can sort of defend myself.
~
We continued to walk in silence until we ended up in the place where we first met.
Inuyasha walked over to the tree he was bound to for fifty years.
He looked at it, I saw his eyes, they were full of sorrow and bitterness.
I guess it's because he's mad at Kikyou for shooting that arrow.
Or maybe he's angry at Naraku for killing Kikyo, and destroying their growing relationship.
Or maybe it's self-hatred. He could be hating himself because he couldn't save Kikyou. The only thing he accomplished was her revenge.
~
That tree holds so much bittersweet memories for him.
More bitter than sweet.
~
Since this was the place where our acquaintance was made and blossomed, I believe this is the place where we should end it.
Well. . . maybe not end.
I can't end my love for him. And he can't end whatever feelings he has for me.
~
"Inuyasha, are you okay?" I asked concerned.
He just snorted and ignored me.
"Fine, next time I won't bother asking." I shouted, my temper rising.
I assumed that he was fine, considering that he was acting like himself, though his eyes said that he still couldn't let go of the past.
~
"Inuyasha." I said quietly.
"What?" He asked annoyed.
"Well. . ." I started. I looked down at my feet. Wow, I never realized that my brown shoes looked so horrible with my uniform.
He continued to stare at me.
Will he stop that?
"Umm. . ." I played with my skirt. Clutching it, then letting it go.
"Uhh. . . you see, my mom is going to seal the well."
His eyes hardened.
"This. . . this is my last visit." I stammered, intimidated by him.
"So, you're really leaving?"
I nodded my head.
"Why does your mom want to seal the well?"
"Because she thinks that it's dangerous and bad for my depression."
"What's depression?" Inuyasha inquired and scratched his head.
"Umm. . . nothing, never mind." I muttered.
"It's not really dangerous, I'll protect you." Inuyasha stated.
"I know, but my mom. . ."
"Nothing can make you stay? Not even if I said I care for you and will miss you?
I was touched when he said that he'll miss me. I wanted to stay with him, but I can't.
"No, I'm sorry Inuyasha." I said softly.
His shoulders sagged and he looked really disappointed.
Then without warning he pulled me into a fierce hug, I couldn't help but hug him back.
My vision was blurred by the tears trying to escape, but I held them back.
I'm not going to cry.
Not right now.
I felt something wet on my cheek.
Was it raining?
I looked up.
Inuyasha's eyes were unusually bright.
His arms felt so secure, I feel so safe with him, especially in his warm embrace.
~
"This isn't going to be like last time where you hugged me, then take the shikon jewel from me, and push me into the well right?" I said trying to lighten the atmosphere.
"I thought you were going to die, I was so scared." He replied softly. "But when you were gone, I missed you a lot."
"Shippo said you didn't care." I accused.
"Am I supposed to tell everyone how I feel?" He defended himself.
He was quiet for a few moments before he said, "Kagome. . . when you leave, I'll be so empty and lonely. . . like I was before I met you. I'll have no goal, nothing, no one to protect anymore."
He looked at me, his eyes were like when he used to look at Kikyou, with love. But now, he was looking at me. Me!
He continued, "When I was bound to that tree, I was free of all life's misery. I was in a blissful, dreamless sleep, unaware of my surroundings. I didn't feel anything, I didn't fell loneliness, anger, bitterness, betrayal, and emptiness. But once you're gone, those feelings will overcome me. I don't want to go on as an empty shell, existing without a purpose. So, could you do me a favor and. . . bind me to the tree?!"
I was shocked by his request. But it would be cruel if I left him and he was to fall back into his old life again. Always alone. . . never with a companion.
I sighed "Okay, but I'm not sure if this will work."
"Don't worry, if you're really Kikyou's reincarnation then this will be easily accomplished." He reassured me with a tight smile.
I felt my eyes prick. No, I won't cry. I can't cry, not when this is the last goodbye. I swallowed hard and picked up the bow. I carefully placed the arrow onto it.
Inuyasha stepped back and leaned against the tree. He closed his eyes and waited.
My hands shook as I took aim. I aimed for his shoulder, the place where I pulled out his first arrow.
I let go of the arrow. It went flying through the air and met its target. It pierced through Inuyasha's red kimono and met his flesh. Red blood oozed out, darkening the material of his shirt.
~
What was left unspoken was understood.
I knew he loved me. If not, why would he want me to bind him to the tree?
~
I walked towards him. Those ears. . . I reached up and squeezed his ears for the last time. The first time I squeezed hi ears was when he was in a peaceful slumber. . . like now.
I leaned closer to him, my lips brushed his warm, soft ones. "I love you." I whispered. I knew he couldn't hear me, but that doesn't matter.
Even if we are separated by five hundred years, I'll still love him.
Nothing can ever change that.
No one said love was easy, and this certainly wasn't easy.
~
I jumped off the tree and headed back towards the well. I stared at him and memorized every detail.
Those details are embedded into my mind and I shall never forget him.
Well. . . it would be pretty hard to forget this entire experience. I mean how many people gets transported back in time, breaks a jewel that every demon wants, and searches for it with a half-demon?
Only me I guess.
~
I turned around and ran as fast as I could towards the well, away from this painful moment.
I finally let the tears that I was holding back flow freely down my face. I didn't even bother to wipe them.
I think my heart will never mend or heal.
Inuyasha is lucky, he doesn't feel anything.
In a way, I wish I was the one bound to the tree.
~
I saw the well ahead of me, so I slowed down. I stopped and looked down the well.
My tears continued to flow as I took a deep breath and jumped down the well.
Never to return to the Sengoku Jidai again.
As I did so, I left behind a hanyou,
Never to be awakened again.
By: Pinkjasmine
ONE-SHOT
~
I faced the inevitable.
I had fallen into depression.
It took me one whole month before I accepted the fact.
I knew that depression could happen to anyone.
But me?!
I never would have thought.
I sighed as I stared at my math homework.
I hate math.
I hate myself.
I hate my life!
I continued to stare at my math uncomprehendingly.
Who cares about algebraic expressions?
I turned and focused on the little penknife beside my textbook.
I picked it up, and fingered it lovingly,
The carefully engraved handle,
The sharp, shiny, polished blade.
"Whoops," I said when I felt the tip of the blade prick my index finger.
I didn't really mind the blood trickling slowly down my finger.
It didn't really hurt.
I sighed again as I tried to count the times when I had that knife in my hand.
Poised to bring it down, and meet the flesh covering my veins.
But I didn't.
Why?
Cause something.
No, someone,
Was holding me back.
That someone that I was allowed to see one last time.
Why?
My mother wanted to seal the well.
The well that connected the feudal age, to the modern era.
My mother thinks that witnessing demons being slain and slaughtered contributed to my depression.
Did it?
I don't really know or care.
~
I closed my math book, and stood up.
I looked at my backpack filled with clothes, ramen, and candies. I packed it because I thought I would be staying in the Sengoku Jidai for at least a week.
But not anymore.
I strode over to the bag, and emptied the contents onto my bed.
I'll clean it up later, but right now there's something else that's more important.
I walked down the stairs, and paused at the backdoor. I turned the doorknob, pushed open the door and stepped into the calm, cool night.
I headed straight to the well house, I hesitated as I saw the well right in front of me.
I knew that this visit would be the last, and the most painful one.
~
I jumped down the well, and the familiar blue light surrounded me.
I ended on the soft dirt of feudal Japan.
Even with my eyes closed, I could feel the change between the times.
Right now the air was purer than at home.
The night more dark.
Perhaps it was due to the fact that streetlights weren't invented yet.
The stars were more visible.
I heard a rustle and knew it was him.
After a few moments in the well, I would be pulled out of it by a furry- eared hanyou.
And sure enough, I felt myself being lifted up.
"Thanks Inuyasha." I smiled at him, even though that was the last thing I felt like doing.
He started to walk away, expecting me to follow.
Normally I would have been angered by this display, but since this is a special occasion, I'll let it go.
"Where are we going?" I voiced what I was wondering.
He replied "Kaede's hut, where else?"
"I don't want to go there." I blurted out.
Inuyasha finally stopped walking and looked at me. "Where do you want to go then?"
"Umm. . . I just want to walk around."
He looked at me through narrowed eyes.
"Why?" He asked curiously.
I shrugged. "No reason."
I started to walk away, not caring where I was going.
"Hey wait, Kagome!"
With his fast reflexes, and him being a half-demon he quickly caught up to me.
He walked beside me, "what's up with you?"
I pondered that question, how could I answer that?
"Inuyasha . . ." I started. Ugh, how was I going to explain this to a hanyou who's thicker than the floors of Tokyo Tower jammed together?
"Umm. . . I won't be visiting for a while."
I saw his face contort in fury.
Uh oh, if that's how he reacts when he heard that, I wonder what he'd do if he learned of my mom sealing the well.
"What about the shikon jewel?" he demanded.
"It only needs one more shard before it's completed." I argued. "It's not going to do any harm." Although I knew it wasn't true.
"No harm?" he cried incredulously. "One shard in the wrong hands can do a lot of damage."
"You are perfectly capable of slaying the demons bearing the shard, why do you need me?"
"Because you're the only one that can actually see the jewel, and you're the only that can purify it."
I sighed, we've had this argument a lot of times, but I needed to find an excuse so it would sound as if I wasn't needed here.
"Does this have anything to do with Kikyou?" he questioned suspiciously.
"No." I answered hurt. Rage seared inside me as I heard that name.
"Do you still miss her? Is that why you say her name?"
"No! But you always say 'Am I just your jewel detector?' he mimicked my voice, "whenever you see Kikyou with me."
I glared at him.
~
We walked around and found a bow and some arrows lying scattered and abandoned.
I stopped and picked them up.
Just in case we run into some demons.
I sighed, before I came here I couldn't even hold a bow properly, but now, I can shoot accurately.
I learned a lot here, Kaede taught me which herbs could be used for healing, and I can sort of defend myself.
~
We continued to walk in silence until we ended up in the place where we first met.
Inuyasha walked over to the tree he was bound to for fifty years.
He looked at it, I saw his eyes, they were full of sorrow and bitterness.
I guess it's because he's mad at Kikyou for shooting that arrow.
Or maybe he's angry at Naraku for killing Kikyo, and destroying their growing relationship.
Or maybe it's self-hatred. He could be hating himself because he couldn't save Kikyou. The only thing he accomplished was her revenge.
~
That tree holds so much bittersweet memories for him.
More bitter than sweet.
~
Since this was the place where our acquaintance was made and blossomed, I believe this is the place where we should end it.
Well. . . maybe not end.
I can't end my love for him. And he can't end whatever feelings he has for me.
~
"Inuyasha, are you okay?" I asked concerned.
He just snorted and ignored me.
"Fine, next time I won't bother asking." I shouted, my temper rising.
I assumed that he was fine, considering that he was acting like himself, though his eyes said that he still couldn't let go of the past.
~
"Inuyasha." I said quietly.
"What?" He asked annoyed.
"Well. . ." I started. I looked down at my feet. Wow, I never realized that my brown shoes looked so horrible with my uniform.
He continued to stare at me.
Will he stop that?
"Umm. . ." I played with my skirt. Clutching it, then letting it go.
"Uhh. . . you see, my mom is going to seal the well."
His eyes hardened.
"This. . . this is my last visit." I stammered, intimidated by him.
"So, you're really leaving?"
I nodded my head.
"Why does your mom want to seal the well?"
"Because she thinks that it's dangerous and bad for my depression."
"What's depression?" Inuyasha inquired and scratched his head.
"Umm. . . nothing, never mind." I muttered.
"It's not really dangerous, I'll protect you." Inuyasha stated.
"I know, but my mom. . ."
"Nothing can make you stay? Not even if I said I care for you and will miss you?
I was touched when he said that he'll miss me. I wanted to stay with him, but I can't.
"No, I'm sorry Inuyasha." I said softly.
His shoulders sagged and he looked really disappointed.
Then without warning he pulled me into a fierce hug, I couldn't help but hug him back.
My vision was blurred by the tears trying to escape, but I held them back.
I'm not going to cry.
Not right now.
I felt something wet on my cheek.
Was it raining?
I looked up.
Inuyasha's eyes were unusually bright.
His arms felt so secure, I feel so safe with him, especially in his warm embrace.
~
"This isn't going to be like last time where you hugged me, then take the shikon jewel from me, and push me into the well right?" I said trying to lighten the atmosphere.
"I thought you were going to die, I was so scared." He replied softly. "But when you were gone, I missed you a lot."
"Shippo said you didn't care." I accused.
"Am I supposed to tell everyone how I feel?" He defended himself.
He was quiet for a few moments before he said, "Kagome. . . when you leave, I'll be so empty and lonely. . . like I was before I met you. I'll have no goal, nothing, no one to protect anymore."
He looked at me, his eyes were like when he used to look at Kikyou, with love. But now, he was looking at me. Me!
He continued, "When I was bound to that tree, I was free of all life's misery. I was in a blissful, dreamless sleep, unaware of my surroundings. I didn't feel anything, I didn't fell loneliness, anger, bitterness, betrayal, and emptiness. But once you're gone, those feelings will overcome me. I don't want to go on as an empty shell, existing without a purpose. So, could you do me a favor and. . . bind me to the tree?!"
I was shocked by his request. But it would be cruel if I left him and he was to fall back into his old life again. Always alone. . . never with a companion.
I sighed "Okay, but I'm not sure if this will work."
"Don't worry, if you're really Kikyou's reincarnation then this will be easily accomplished." He reassured me with a tight smile.
I felt my eyes prick. No, I won't cry. I can't cry, not when this is the last goodbye. I swallowed hard and picked up the bow. I carefully placed the arrow onto it.
Inuyasha stepped back and leaned against the tree. He closed his eyes and waited.
My hands shook as I took aim. I aimed for his shoulder, the place where I pulled out his first arrow.
I let go of the arrow. It went flying through the air and met its target. It pierced through Inuyasha's red kimono and met his flesh. Red blood oozed out, darkening the material of his shirt.
~
What was left unspoken was understood.
I knew he loved me. If not, why would he want me to bind him to the tree?
~
I walked towards him. Those ears. . . I reached up and squeezed his ears for the last time. The first time I squeezed hi ears was when he was in a peaceful slumber. . . like now.
I leaned closer to him, my lips brushed his warm, soft ones. "I love you." I whispered. I knew he couldn't hear me, but that doesn't matter.
Even if we are separated by five hundred years, I'll still love him.
Nothing can ever change that.
No one said love was easy, and this certainly wasn't easy.
~
I jumped off the tree and headed back towards the well. I stared at him and memorized every detail.
Those details are embedded into my mind and I shall never forget him.
Well. . . it would be pretty hard to forget this entire experience. I mean how many people gets transported back in time, breaks a jewel that every demon wants, and searches for it with a half-demon?
Only me I guess.
~
I turned around and ran as fast as I could towards the well, away from this painful moment.
I finally let the tears that I was holding back flow freely down my face. I didn't even bother to wipe them.
I think my heart will never mend or heal.
Inuyasha is lucky, he doesn't feel anything.
In a way, I wish I was the one bound to the tree.
~
I saw the well ahead of me, so I slowed down. I stopped and looked down the well.
My tears continued to flow as I took a deep breath and jumped down the well.
Never to return to the Sengoku Jidai again.
As I did so, I left behind a hanyou,
Never to be awakened again.