Those of you who read my other stories, I mentioned somewhere that I was working on this. It's just something for me to do when I'm bored, so the updates won't be regular or anything.
Based off LolliDictator's manual series.
It really makes me mad that I don't own a laptop. Like, really, really mad. Because I only have this stupid desktop, I can only be on the computer in one spot, at my house. Whenever I go into Starbucks or something, people always have their laptops, and I always wonder what it would be like if I brought my desktop computer here.
Well, it used to be my computer, now I'm supposed to call it everyone's computer, even though it's mine. I do believe I was the one that got it for Christmas, not my friends / roommates.
My parents work overseas in China. Why in China? Because they get paid more. My Mom told me that if I wanted to keep living in this house, we were going to have to make a lot of money. I don't even want to live in this stupid house, I get lost it's so big.
It's big because it used to be an old bed and breakfast, and for whatever reason, my Mom just "Had to get it", because I hear I was conceived in one of these rooms, which one, I don't know, and don't care. When I first learned that I would be living in this big old Victorian Mansion looking place, I about had a heart attack, knowing that the place was haunted or something.
It was pretty, but it didn't feel like home. It was too clean, too shiny. Not enough carpet. And there was a table with a vase in the foyer, like you'd see in a hotel / bed and breakfast, which my house is neither. I hate that stupid vase, I've been so tempted to break it so many times, and it's driving me insane.
So, because my parents ditched me and junk, I've got my friends staying here with me.
No, they aren't paying rent either, just to piss of my Dad.
They're here because I get lonely quite easily, and when I'm lonely I tend to cause a lot more trouble than when I'm surrounded by familiars. This also makes it easier to do a number of things that us otakus do when we're together.
For an example, making your cosplay goes a lot smoother when you have three other cosplayers breathing down your neck waiting for you to finish, so in those days before the con you're never rushing to finish up, because the cosplay was completed a month ago. Planning for conventions is easier when you can just shout down the hall to get information, when normally you'd have to actually get your butt off the couch and either go look it up, or drive to your friends because their phone is always dead and they happen to absolutely never be on Facebook when you need them to be.
Speaking of conventions, they're the reason why we are all sitting in a circle on the floor in the den, clearly stressed out.
"If Cin goes as Romano," Paige began, motioning towards me, "I'll go as Italy."
"But then I'll just be random, you don't usually see a Fem!Prussia running around with the Italians." argued Sarah, leaning back onto the recliner.
"I'll be Liechtenstein, too. I guess we could kind of go together." I pointed out. "If you were just a normal Prussia we could go as a pairing."
"But I want a long wig. Are we cosplaying Kuroshisuji on Friday or Saturday?" Sarah directed her question towards Paige, who shrugged.
"If we do Hetalia on Saturday, we can do Kuro on Friday and Sunday."
I frowned, "But I'll be Liechtenstein on Friday, and it'll be like at MomoCon when Sarah and I were cosplaying for different animes. It's not as fun."
Conner spoke up, "I can go as Austria on Friday so Madison and I can be a pairing, then I'll be Switzerland on Saturday. I'll probably be Spain on Sunday."
Now, you might be thinking, Conner, isn't that a GUY name? Well, a cookie for you intuitive readers (There goes the fourth wall), because Conner is, in fact, of the MALE gender.
A single guy in a house with three girls. This may sound a little strange to some, but because Conner is not interested in the slightest bit of the opposite sex. Which is also the reason he's staying rent free at my place.
There's a reason everyone's staying at my house, Paige and Sarah used to live in the school dorms, but they had to pay for it, and they didn't like using their money on living accommodations when they could have been spending it on their yaoi interests. All of our interests, actually. Yaoi happened to be one of the many things we all had in common.
So, Conner's parents seem to be extremely homophobic, and are hard-core Catholics. When Conner came out to them earlier this year, he wasn't immediately kicked out onto the streets. No, first his parents tried to "pray the gay away" or some shit like that, and when that didn't work, Conner started showing up to school with bruises littering his skin, only showing them to Sarah, Paige and I, as we were his closest friends.
His parents eventually gave up on him and kicked him out. He ended up on my doorstep, and we took him in.
He hasn't spoken to his parents since then, and his mood turns sour every time you mention them, which is why we don't.
Paige held up a hand, "If you cosplay as Switzerland on Saturday, the only relevance you'll have to any of us will be you and Sarah both being German and you always trying to shoot me. If you switch Switzerland and Austria around then you could still be paired with Cin on Friday and you'll be paired with Sarah on Saturday, and then paired again with Cin on Sunday."
I slammed my hands down onto the ground, "Done deal. Sarah, write this down."
Sarah did as she was told, typing away on her laptop, then looked at us all sort of funny, "You guys, the con is in September, you know."
We all just stared at her, and she continued typing after a sigh.
I scooted myself to her side to watch what she was writing
Cin/Madison/Madi/Whatever the hell she wants to be called: Friday – Liech Saturday & Sunday – Romano
Paige: Friday & Sunday – Grell Saturday – Italy
Conner: Friday – Switzy Saturday – Austria Sunday – Spain
Sarah: Friday & Sunday – Sebastian Saturday – Fem!Prussia
"That lists probably subject to change, so you should write that down." Conner pointed out, scrunching up his nose to keep his glasses from sliding down.
"Why?" Sarah asked a look of confusion on her face.
"Because."
"Because why?"
"I said so."
They, of course, then started bickering. Conner reached over Sarah to try and take the laptop away, and they were eventually trapped in a game of tug-of-war.
Not wanting the laptop to be broken, I removed it from both of their grips.
Settling it down on my lap, I got on the internet to check my email.
Conner and Sarah hardly noticed the laptop was gone, because they just kept going at it. I scrolled through my inbox, making sure to click on every email notification from , smiling with each review I received for my stories.
Normally, seeing the word "Hetalia" in my inbox is a common thing, more than common actually, it's rare that I get an email from something other than , because every one of my stories that I've favorited, alerted, or written were Hetalia ones.
But Hetalia was in the subject line this time, which was what threw me off.
"Congratulations, you've been selected to beta our Hetalia Units!" I read aloud, looking at Paige, who wasn't paying attention. I hadn't remembered applying to be a beta recently and I certainly never betaed anything that wasn't a video game or a story.
Out of my better judgment, I opened the email.
"Dear Cin,"
My eyes narrowed, because the only people who actually called me by my nickname were close to me, and understood the meaning. For it to be used in a email from what I assume to be a computer, this bothered me.
"You've been selected to test out our Hetalia Units. Rest assured, you'll be payed for your hard work. Please email updates to this address, being sure to inform us of any issues with your units."
The email said more, but I was only paying attention to the arrival date. The third of April.
I looked up from the laptop, "What's the date again?"
Conner answered me, "The third."
The doorbell interrupted my reply.
I jumped from my position beside Sarah, and raced to the front door, my socks causing me to slip on the marble flooring.
After almost knocking over the stupid vase, I was able to yank open the door, where a large wooden crate awaited me. A UPS man with an irritated look on his face gave me the clipboard to sign, which I did.
He handed me a manual then jumped off the porch instead of taking the stairs, disappearing past the side of the house.
Paige looked over my shoulder at the box, than down at the manual in my hands.
"OH MY GOD." She cried, and I instantly recognized her slipping into fangirl mode, "I read a fanfiction like this once. Bring the box inside!" She jumped up and down and took the manual from my hands, flipping through it.
I recruited Conner to help me lift the box into the foyer, settling it next to the piano pushed up against the staircase.
Paige was still hopping in place, "It's PRUSSIA! We got a PRUSSIA unit!" She kya'd and dropped the manual. Sarah picked it up and started reading from it.
"Removal of your GILBERT BEILSCHMIDT from Packaging
Due to your unit's volatile, rash nature, removing your unit from his box may prove to be quite the challenge. For your safety, we have provided a list of ways in which to wake him up, as improperly waking him will result in agony for you and all nearby.
1. Stand next to the box and pour beer on the lid. Your unit will claw his way out and harass you for some beer, and we advise you give it to him if you value your house. After getting his alcohol, he will be very friendly to you.
2. Set a plate of Austrian apple strudel next to the box, or play piano as well as you can. Your unit will get out carefully, probably in the belief that you are a RODERICH EDELSTEIN unit, and will try to ninja-jump you; reprogram him fast enough and he will not try to rape you.
3. Stand next to the box and say anything in Russian, preferably with the best accent you can manage. Your GILBERT BEILSCHMIDT unit will tremble hard enough for the box to shake, and then you can open it and he will cry with joy at the fact that you are not an IVAN BRAGINSKI unit; he will also be very submissive to anything you want. If you would like a defiant unit, stand far, far away - preferably at a distance from which you need a microphone - and call your unit by 'Kaliningrad'. The box lid will fly off and your unit will go into a rage, searching for an IVAN BRAGINSKI; reprogram him quickly to avoid major damage to your house.
4. Activate his Gilbird unit. This will automatically awaken your unit and he will chase Gilbird down.
"Which one sounds funner, number two or number three?" Conner asked, and none of us knew.
"Whelp, let's get this over with." I said, sitting down at the piano. "Don't let him rape me please. Thankies."
Ironically, I decided to play "Maru Kaite Chikyuu" because I thought it'd fit the situation.
A quiet creaking could be heard over the piano, and my gaze flickered to the lid of the crate slowly being pushed off.
I put my eyes back on the keys so I wouldn't mess up, because Austria never messed up while playing the piano.
"Aha! Got you now!" A voice cried and I was immediately knocked from my position on the piano stool onto the ground.
I flailed around, and my knee made contact with the albino's vital regions. When I could finally see something other than the dark blue of Prussia's military uniform and I scrambled up from the ground.
"Guys! You were supposed to help me!" I yelled at them, they all looked at the ground with sheepish smiles on their faces.
"Sorry." Conner said, and Prussia jumped out of his position on the floor. He glared at me a bit before returning to his box. He ruffled around in that white stuff that I can't remember what they're called (Ha, white stuff), and pulled out a cardboard box, quickly ripping it open and Gilbird flew out.
"So, you losers got any beer?" Prussia asked us, and Paige nodded. We all glared at her, but Prussia ruffled her hair and set off the go find the refrigerator.
"Why would you tell him that?" Conner asked, and Paige shrugged.
"Drunk Prussia is fun Prussia."
I sighed, "This is going to end badly, I just know it."
Just then, a crashing sound came from the direction of the kitchen. I banged my head on the wall.
Conner isn't real. I made him up because I wanted another gay friend.
Well then. I guess I have to work on my other stories now. Ciao~