Chapter 1: After the Party
Syd stood in the women's washroom staring at her reflection in the mirror, wishing that she could turn back the clock about 24 hours. About fifteen minutes ago she had practically run away from Gage's car in the parking lot, her eyes brimming with unshed tears. She had rushed to the washroom on the first floor and shut the door behind her, feeling somewhat safe as the heavy wooden door swung shut.
She studied the image that looked back at her. What was wrong with her? First that disastrous date last night with that guy from the gym and now things with Gage were even worse than before. Truth be told, it was Gage's rebuke that was stinging the most. She could handle yet another failed date, it seemed like it was her destiny to meet guys that thought her job was sexy but expected she would give it up to be a housewife and mother. So when she had casually told Gage about Franco's opinion that women didn't really belong in the Texas Rangers she had expected him to shake his head in disbelief at Syd's luck in finding another of Dallas' cavemen. Instead though, Gage had told her that maybe she'd have to give a little if she ever wanted to find someone before it was too late.
Syd had looked at him in shock, waiting a moment for her partner's face to fill with that characteristic grin of his letting her know that he was just joking. Not that it was a particularly funny joke but sometimes Gage had an odd sense of humour. But the grin never came; he had just looked away from her and added under his breath that she wasn't getting any younger. Syd hadn't known what to say but had finally pulled her eyes away from him, unlocked the door and stepped out. As she turned away from her partner unbidden tears had filled her eyes, blurring her vision as she bee-lined for Ranger Headquarters.
So now here she stood, not knowing what to do next. It was so unlike Gage to be cruel, he was one of the most fun-loving good natured guys around. He was the one who had told her once that whatever guy was worthy of her would accept her for who she was. What had suddenly changed his opinion?
Things had been tense between the two partners for the last few weeks, ever since Trivette and Erika's engagement party. They had gone to the party together, as they often did and had even bought a joint gift for the happy couple. But late in the evening, when Syd had decided it was time for them to say their goodbyes she hadn't been able to find Gage anywhere inside. When she had managed to locate him he was outside on the Walker's porch locking lips with Wendy, a colleague of Erika's. It had been incredibly awkward when Syd had practically bumped into them in the dark but she had somehow managed to stammer out that it was time to go home.
Gage had looked up at Syd rather sheepishly and had even looked a little ashamed. However when Wendy had asked Gage who Syd was and he had replied "Oh, just my partner.", Syd had turned on her heels, stomped out to her car and driven off, leaving Gage to find his own way home. To this day she didn't know how he had gotten home, whether he had gone home alone or with Wendy, and she didn't really want to know. She and Gage had never been and never would be romantically involved. He'd made that clear enough when she knew he had heard what she had revealed to him at his bedside in the hospital but, other than a few silly comments, he hadn't initiated any sort of conversation about it. So why had seeing him kissing another woman bothered her so much? The question had plagued Syd since that night, but neither partner had mentioned the evening when they returned to work and now, almost three weeks later the events on the porch continued to hang between them like a veil of ice.
Wiping the vestiges of the tears away from her eyes and smoothing her dark hair down, Syd straightened her shoulders and resolved that she would stop talking to Gage about things outside of work. She wasn't sure at what time they had crossed the line from being partners to being good friends, but it was obvious that part of their relationship was not working out. They could not afford to jeopardize their working relationship; failure on the job could have dire consequences. So it was their friendship, such as it was these days, which needed to go. Maybe it would be best for them to take a break from one another.
Upstairs Gage sat at his desk wondering where Syd had gotten to; it had been at least twenty minutes since she had walked away from him. He knew his words that morning in his car as they had pulled into the parking lot had hurt her; he had seen the pain flicker across her face like it had that day in his apartment when he had yelled at her about 'not understanding' how he was feeling. He wasn't sure why he had said what he did today; he had been in a sour mood ever since the engagement party. He had been so stupid that night, coming to the party with Syd and then winding up on the porch kissing that friend of Erika's. What the hell had he been thinking?
There had been a time when he had hoped that he and Syd might become more than partners. He had always, if truth be told, felt something different for her than he had for any other woman. But the idea of a relationship with his partner had never really crossed his mind until that time she had kissed him after Walker and Alex's wedding. For months after that the idea had swirled unbidden in his mind and he even had the guts to confront her about it once. He had earned a swift kick to the head for his efforts and he'd put the idea of a relationship with Syd to the very back burner of his thoughts. In the ensuing months they had grown closer as partners and as friends, and in fact, he would call Sydney his best friend. The way she had taken care of him after he lost his hearing…it was almost as if she…well, she didn't did she? That kick at the gym had made her feelings pretty clear.
But the look in Syd's eyes when she had found him kissing Wendy had been like a slap on the face. And then, when she had stormed out of there and left him to find his own way home he knew that his actions had really bothered her. Since that time Syd, who hadn't dated since they had returned from their stint with the Raptors, had been out on four dates each with guys who steadily decreased in calibre of character. It was as if she was out to prove something, though damned if he knew what. What he did know was that he was tired of hearing about the dates and he had as much told her so this morning. Trouble was, now he felt even worse than he had before, as if getting that weight off his chest had backfired doubling the load that had been there before. He hadn't meant to hurt her; it was just so frustrating to listen to her talk about going out with other men. Did she really think he wanted to hear about it?
He was sitting at his desk holding his aching head when Syd finally came in. He just wanted to get things back to the way they were earlier, before that stupid party. He knew it was his fault that things were not going well between them and he wished he knew how to make it right. He got up and went over to her and taking a deep breath, apologized.
"I'm sorry Syd. I shouldn't have said those things. I had no right to tell you how you should live your life. It's just that I..."
Syd interrupted him. "You're right; my life outside work isn't any of your business. So forget it. Let's get to work on the Villetti case."
Gage nodded, taking the paperwork she handed him. He could see by the set of her jaw and hear by the tone of her voice that things were far from being on the mend between them. At least she was talking to him though, he thought to himself. He didn't know how, but somehow he'd make things right between them. Gage couldn't afford to lose Syd – not as a partner or as a friend.