A dark room. Storms carry on outside the cool air conditioned home but she's on fire.
Like always.
Tossing around, suppressing screams. It's the same as always.
No it's not. She wasn't always in them.
She wasn't always on fire, an innocent death in the not so innocent war. It robbed anyone who was already innocent of murder of that.
Like him.
No, he already knew of it. He watched her kill, watched death come to hundreds of people's doors in their district. As long as it wasn't their own.
Snares, traps, plans, enemy's rules. Parachutes…bombs…a white suited thirteen year old in a war zone. Screaming her name to no avail.
He killed her.
Did he? How could he have known?
He made them. He knew they could be used.
He loved her. Like a sister of his own. He would have never purposefully killed her.
But it happened. He knew as soon as he heard it was his.
He claimed he didn't.
And you believe him? After he didn't visit you in the hospital, became someone different than the boy you used to know.
I've changed too.
Too much. You can't find that boy and girl in each other anymore.
War changed both of us.
An excuse for what? You know as well as he does that it's over.
What's over? Why can't I at least see him?
Do you want to?
…I don't know. I miss him.
Fire. Raging heat, licking flames, a tiny little blonde girl who shouldn't be there.
Stop.
Wicked grey eyes that gleam with hatred. A war he wanted to win at any cost.
Don't, he didn't-
Blue eyes haunting you forever, that girl you saved over and over again just for her to die.
Please, just make it stop!
I can't do anything but you can.
What can I do? I need this to stop to go away! I need the pain to go away.
You know what to do.
…no I don't.
Grey eyes, a reflection of your's. Strong, toned body, a body wracked with guilt over a murder he doesn't know if he committed but feels responsible for anyway. Going through the motions of life in a daze, not really paying attention.
…what are you saying?
He looks at his new bow but has never brought himself to use it. The woods in District 2 are different, they aren't the same. He can't do it without you.
…
A mutual stubbornness. You won't see him and he won't go see you. He can't even bring himself to come home.
Please…
It's not home anymore. Only in his heart which is broken, a fire consumed it completely and left it to hurt, burn, bleed out until it's gone.
But…
A bottle, a knife. A rope tied into a noose and hung from the ceiling. But he can't do it; he deserves to live in guilt. He deserves the pain.
No!
Yes. You haven't forgiven him and he hasn't forgiven himself. What does it matter to you?
It does.
Why? You haven't talked to him in a year. You don't want to, you blame him for her death. It's not like you would ever know or care.
I do care!
No you don't. If you cared you would have done something by now. You don't care, it doesn't matter.
It does.
Why?
Because…because….
Well?
Because I love him, alright! I can't face him because to know that's true after everything I've blamed him for…it won't matter. It would only be shame to love her maybe murderer.
Would it?
Yes! How can you even ask such a thing?
Would she think he was a murderer? That sweet little girl? A boy who took care of her, loved her like a sibling?
…it still feels wrong.
And yet it feels wrong to not be with him does it not?
…no.
You lie. You hunt but don't feel right. The rock is too big, you feel half blind. The woods are too lonely and you almost feel frightened for the first time in years to be there.
But…
Go. I won't promise the nightmares will cease but you will feel more content. You finally get to choose who to love; not the Capitol, or the country, or even her. Listen to me.
How do you know?
I don't. But fate has a way of playing its hands right in the end. Just try and all will be fine.
…alright I'll go in the morning, you happy now?
The sun shines bright and I'm content. Don't let nightmares get in the way, the sun forces them to disappear but only if you are brave enough to face the light. And you are brave but only if you let yourself be. Besides what is there to be brave about with him?
I'll lose. I don't forgive.
Always the stubborn one, aren't you? But you gain so much more, so is it really a loss?
…I guess not.
A new kind of fire, one that burns passionately from your very core throughout your body. Hands tangling in dark locks, lips that you know well that press against your own. Those hands that you love, trust, need. They are caressing, loving, forgiving all the same. Matching beat for beat, accelerating faster…
Please, you're making me…
Want him?
Well…yeah.
You already did anyway. I didn't need to show you that.
But you did and now…
Go. The sun is rising and that can be real in just a few short hours. He'll be waiting though he doesn't believe.
I'm going, I'm going.
It's going to require that you open your eyes you know.
Oh shut up and bother me later.
When you're with him?
…yes.
Good, I'm content now.
You better be.
What are you waiting for? Go!
…
See? That wasn't so hard.
Oh shut up.
Why, so you can think about his arms around you? Or perhaps something else, like those slightly chapped lips or those mirror eyes taking you in, unbelieving as you that this happened?
…maybe.
Alright, I'll go. My job is done here.
Good. …and…thank you.
Laughs. Prim. Smiles from family and friends. The district. They all knew before you.
Oh come on, not more of making fun of me!
Fine I'll stop. You're welcome by the way but it wasn't necessary. If only you had listened to me in the first place…
I will from now on. Promise.