Author's note: special thanks to my dear friend Ciotolik, whose sensibility and intellect helped making this work.

The ballad of Lord Christmas

by TSilvy

"Oh where ha' you been, Dave Starsky my pal

And where ha' you been, you handsome dark cop?"

"I ha' been at the market, partner make my bunk soon

For I'm wearied wi' shoppin' and fain wad lie down"

-.-.-

"And what ha' you bought there, Dave Starsky my pal

And what ha' you bought there, you handsome dark cop?"

"I bought wreaths and blintzes, partner make my bunk soon

For I'm wearied wi' shoppin' and fain wad lie down"

-.-.-

"And why do you need 'em, Dave Starsky my pal

And why do you need 'em, you handsome dark cop?"

"I need 'em for Christmas, partner make my bunk soon

For I'm wearied wi' shoppin' and fain wad lie down"

-.-.-

"And when will you hang 'em, Dave Starsky my pal

And when will you hang 'em, you handsome dark cop?"

"My buddy will hang 'em, partner make my bunk soon

For I'm wearied wi' talkin' and fain wad lie down"

-.-.-

(intermezzo)

-.-.-

"Oh what are you doin', Ken Hutchin' my pal

And what are you doin', you handsome blond cop?"

"I'm leavin' this dwelling, partner make my bag soon

For I'm sick at the gut and I fain wad be gone"

-.-.-

"And why are you leavin', Ken Hutchin' my pal

And why are you leavin', you handsome blond cop?"

"I don' want no trimmings, partner make my bag soon

For I'm sick at the gut and I fain wad be gone"

-.-.-

"And where will you go then, Ken Hutchin' my pal

And where will you go then, you handsome blond cop?"

"I'll sulk at my own place, partner make my bag soon

For I'm sick at the gut and I fain wad be gone"

-.-.-

"And how shall I have fun, Ken Hutchin' my pal

And how shall I have fun, you handsome blond cop?"

"True fun needs no money, partner make my bunk soon

For I'm wearied wi' talkin' and fain wad lie down"

-.-.-

(intermezzo)

-.-.-

"Oh what ha' you brought, capt' Dobey my bro

And what ha' you brought, you handsome chief-cop?"

"I brought sweets and bubbles, Huggy set the 'cloth soon

For I'm weary wi' hunger and fain wad eat some"

-.-.-

"And where are our two friends, capt' Dobey my bro

And where are our two friends, you handsome chief-cop?"

"They're playing Monopoly, Huggy set the 'cloth soon

For I'm weary wi' hunger and fain wad eat some"

-.-.-

"Oh did they take presents, Bear Huggy my bro

And did they take presents, you handsome bar-man?"

"The presents don't matter, captain set the 'cloth soon

For I'm weary wi' hunger and fain wad eat some"

-.-.-

"And why don't they matter, Bear Huggy my bro

And why don't they matter, you handsome bar-man?"

"'cause friendship is shinin', captain make my bunk soon

for I'm filled at the heart, and I fain wad lie down."

Thank you for reading and happy holidays!