A/N - My muse is currently in song fic mode and has no plans to change. So y'all are stuck with whatever song I am currently obsessing over. This time it happens to be Daughtry's Over You. I don't own the characters or the song. I'm not making any money. Think about it, if I were making money would I be doing this or would I be on a beach with a frou-frou drink and Ranger or maybe Lester then again Em said Hectors available…
Over You
Now that it's all said and done,
I can't believe you were the one
To build me up and tear me down,
Like an old abandoned house.
What you said when you left
Just left me cold and out of breath.
I fell too far, was in way too deep.
Guess I let you get the best of me.
When I inherited my house from Aunt Rose I didn't mind the fact that my sister Mary got the furniture. I thought maybe Steph and I could furnish it. I know I gave her a hard time about her cookie jar; I just didn't want her to think I was pushing too much. I wanted to ease into it. I figured if I gave her enough time and space she would eventually come around. We've know each other practically all our lives, we have history. On a good day we even like each other.
I fell in lust with Steph in High School. Unfortunately being a cocky immature kid led me to do something I never should have. I paid for it two years later with a broken leg. Twelve years later the lust came back full force and slowly morphed into, dare I say it? Love.
It was my good fortune that she got laid off from a perfectly respectable job and blackmailed her cousin into hiring her as a bond enforcement agent. Not even Ranger Manoso could frighten her into backing down. After everything was said and done she managed to bring me in and prove my innocence. How could I not love her? I thought she loved me too. Sure she couldn't say the words but still.
We've had our ups and downs. We're both skittish when it comes to marriage and commitment. Granted she was more so than me, and for a very good reason, but deep down I thought we could make it work.
Nothing ever seems to go the way I planned though. If it isn't her family pushing her, it's mine. We won't even go into 'Burg expectations. Every time I seem to make some kind of head way it all falls apart. To top it all off I have to deal with competition from Manoso as well.
Well, I never saw it coming.
I should've started running
A long, long time ago.
And I never thought I'd doubt you,
I'm better off without you
More than you, more than you know.
I'm slowly getting closure.
I guess it's really over.
I'm finally getting better.
And now I'm picking up the pieces.
I'm spending all of these years
Putting my heart back together.
'Cause the day I thought I'd never get through,
I got over you.
It's been six months. The hardest six months of my life. I see her everywhere. That's the problem with living in a neighborhood like the 'Burg. It's a small tight knit community. Hell, I work with one of her best friends who just happens to be related to her by marriage. Every day when I go home I am disappointed because I hope she'll be there but she isn't.
The worst part is she seems to be happy with her life. She and Manoso moved in together a couple of months ago. I heard a rumor that he even put a ring on her finger. As much as I hate to admit it maybe he is good for her. He has her taking some self-defense lessons. She's even exercising regularly. Probably, the bastard even has her eating healthier. Then again this is Steph, so maybe not.
I still don't understand why she thinks we couldn't make it work. I've given up trying to figure it out. I guess it will just be one of life's mysteries. I see her sometimes from a distance. It's like she is taking pains to avoid me though. Like maybe we won't be able to be friends. I really hope that isn't the case.
Occasionally I show up if something explodes, it doesn't seem to matter to her one way or the other. I'm just glad the catastrophes aren't my problem anymore. Manoso doesn't seem to be bothered by it. Of course, he can afford to have her blow up an entire fleet of cars and not even flinch. That's not fair, it's not the money. He truly takes her lifestyle in stride. Maybe he's seen so much worse, so that whatever she manages to get involved in seems like a walk in the park.
You took a hammer to these walls,
Dragged the memories down the hall,
Packed your bags and walked away.
There was nothing I could say.
And when you slammed the front door shut,
A lot of others opened up,
So did my eyes so I could see
That you never were the best for me.
Even while it was happening, I couldn't believe it would be the end. A careless word and it all came crashing down around my ears. I remember just being so scared for her. Unfortunately when I get scared it comes out as angry. What can I say, it's the Italian in me.
"Jesus Steph! Are you trying to get yourself killed? Is it something you are actively doing? It sure looks like it from where I'm standing." For fuck's sake, she could have died! I almost lost her for good. It was really getting to be more than I can bear. And Ranger was there to save her, again, although thank God he was. Nothing I say about him shakes this unrealistic faith she has in him. Jesus, you'd think he really was Batman or something.
She peered up at me with those big blue eyes, a spark of defiance flashing across them, "It couldn't be helped Joe. You should know sometimes things don't always go as planned. It still worked out though."
"No thanks to you." Shit. I never should have said that. Do you ever wish you could push rewind and put a filter on your mouth? She was calm. I knew it was going to be bad, but when all the fight just left her I realized it was going to be worse than that.
"I know I say it all the time, but this was not my fault. We would not have gotten this guy without me. You don't seem to care about that. All you care about is how this makes you look and how it impacts your life. Anything that doesn't fit into your long term plan is unacceptable." She looked so sad. Doesn't she understand my life would be nothing without her? "Did you ever stop to think that I am what is wrong with your plan? That maybe I am not meant to be the lynchpin to your future?"
I was startled. She really thought I could need anyone but her in my life? "Cupcake, what are you saying?" I honestly didn't think she would throw it all away over a careless choice of words.
"I know you have all these plans for us. I've known for years. The thing is I don't want the same things you do. I can't be the one you count on. That isn't what I want in life. You need someone that will be there for you. I can't promise I will be." She looked at the ground, not at my eyes, like she didn't want to say it aloud, "I think we should end it before we start to hate each other." Her eyes dragged up to look at mine again. She may not have wanted to say it, but she did and meant every word.
My life is ending and she just stands there looking at me. This isn't 'off' again. This is it. What am I supposed to do? I can't think for the roaring in my ears. Is she leaving me?
"Joe?" Her voice was still calm and quiet, "I love you and want to remain your friend, but that won't happen if we keep on the way we are. Sure we could get married but eventually I will resent you and then you will hate me. I don't want that." She's leaving me. I can't believe it. I thought we were happy. "Good-bye Joe." Then she calmly walked out of my life and into that bastard's.
Well, I never saw it coming.
I should've started running
A long, long time ago.
And I never thought I'd doubt you,
I'm better off without you
More than you, more than you know.
I'm slowly getting closure.
I guess it's really over.
I'm finally getting better.
And now I'm picking up the pieces.
I'm spending all of these years
Putting my heart back together.
'Cause the day I thought I'd never get through,
I got over you.
It's been about nine months and an adult conversation with Manoso is getting a little easier, but not much. He approached me for some information the other day. Apparently he's trying to prevent her from getting another stalker. I was reluctant to help him because it triggered all my fears for Steph, her job, her safety, but I would, for that very reason.
"Morelli. I need whatever you can give me on John Henderson."
"Henderson? Why?" I'm not really interested in being polite. Not that he would notice since that's how he sounds all the time. "He's not one of Steph's skips is he?" This is the kind of thing that's going to give me an ulcer.
"No, he's mine. She's working a distraction for RangeMan and he's the kind of FTA that's likely to develop an unhealthy fascination with Steph. I'd like to try and nip it in the bud before it becomes a problem, so I want to have as much information as possible before I send her in." Is that how he does it? Let her go about her business but behind the scenes take out the worst of her obstacles. Damn, that's actually pretty smart.
"I can't give you any good news on him. He's wanted for everything from stalking to kidnapping and assault with intent to harm. He's bad news." I know she likes her job but it's just too dangerous. Even Manoso knows it or he wouldn't be trying to protect her behind her back. Is this how he lets her 'fly'?
Well, I never saw it coming.
I should've started running
A long, long time ago.
And I never thought I'd doubt you,
I'm better off without you
More than you, more than you know.
I ran into Stephanie yesterday at the store. In the little over a year we've been apart, this is the first time we've talked. Christ she looks good. Her hairs longer, her body leaner, more toned, and she's got quite the tan. She also has an air of self confidence that's new. It's a good look on her.
She still made my breath catch in my throat, and a little knot form in my stomach at the sight of her, but surprisingly my heart didn't hurt near as much as I thought it would.
"Hi, Joe."
"Hi Cupcake, you're looking good." She smiled at my nickname for her.
"Thanks. We just got back from our honeymoon." My eyes glanced at the rings on her finger. I had heard, but I grew up in the 'Burg. I can do denial almost as well as Steph. It's hard to believe that in little more than a year Manoso managed to do what I couldn't in three. "So, how have you been Joe?"
"Not too bad. You know how it is - work, dinner at my parents, drinks with the guys." I hadn't really thought about doing the dating thing again. I had too much denial going on for that. But looking at the rings on her finger and how happy she was maybe it was time I started thinking about it. It would have the added benefit of getting my Mom and Grandmother off my case. "Been thinking about doing the dating thing again."
"I'm surprised Grandma Bella hasn't had visions of you married with a bunch of bambinos." If she only knew, my Grandma is the only woman I know that's crazier than hers. "I heard Robin is single again. She always seemed like a lot of fun. She's had a crush on you for years."
"Really? I hadn't heard." That's what you get for keeping your head in the sand. "Maybe I'll give her a call." I've known Robin for years, since high school really. She likes working in the office and she's from the 'Burg. Steph has always had a good feel for people. Can't hurt to think about it.
"Well, Joe it's nice seeing you again. I have to run. Maybe we can do lunch sometime?"
"That'd be good. Give me a call, whenever. I'm happy for you Cupcake. He's good for you. I'll see you around." I felt something ease inside me. Like maybe this is the way it was supposed to be. The heart is a funny thing. I still love her but I just cannot see myself married to her anymore. We would have killed each other. I have to get a move on I got a phone call to make.
Well, I never saw it coming.
I should've started running
A long, long time ago.
And I never thought I'd doubt you,
I'm better off without you
More than you, more than you know.
I'm slowly getting closure.
I guess it's really over.
I'm finally getting better.
And now I'm picking up the pieces.
I'm spending all of these years
Putting my heart back together.
Well, I'm putting my heart back together,
'Cause I got over you.
Well I got over you.
I got over you.
'Cause the day I thought I'd never get through,
I got over you.
I was walking towards the exit in the ED when I heard Steph's name mentioned by a couple of rookies standing in the corner. I was here taking a statement from a witness to a murder. I may have had my Lieutenant stripes for a year now but that doesn't get me off the hook when we're short handed. I had no idea what business these rookies had here, or why they would be talking about Steph, but I changed my course to find out.
I walked across the waiting room close enough to hear them, but not close enough to be suspicious. They didn't even notice as I slowly wandered past. I couldn't believe what I was hearing as I picked up their conversation.
"I'm telling you, it's her, the Bombshell Bounty Hunter."
"So what's she doing here?"
"I don't know man, but that guy, Ranger, brought her in and she was out cold in his arms."
"Bet you fifty a skip got her."
"No way, I bet that Ranger put her here."
At that point I had enough. They obviously don't know what they are getting themselves into so I turned on my heel and stalked up to them. I waited for them to notice me and at one look at my face they gulped and stood up straighter.
"Lieutenant Morelli, we didn't see you there."
"You need to be careful who you start spreading rumors about. Ranger Manoso won't appreciate people thinking he's abusing his wife. His wife won't appreciate it either; if I were you I wouldn't want her to catch me running my mouth or my wallet. Between us, she is the scarier of the two." I wanted to grin but let my expression darken instead, "Dismissed!"
"Yes sir, sorry sir." With a flurry of salutes they were gone. I think they need to learn a lesson, maybe I'll give him a heads up. I'd hate for Steph to get a hold of them.
I turned to the nurses' station to find out where Steph was. When I got to the desk I noticed he was standing outside a door with his arms crossed over his chest and his head back against the wall. I didn't think the great Ranger Manoso did worried. Hunh, learn something everyday. His eyes were closed, but he knew I was approaching. Nothing gets past this particular man in black.
"Morelli."
"Manoso, is Steph OK?"
"Unknown. We were at dinner and she just passed out." He tilted his head forward and locked eyes with me. "How'd you know we were here?"
"I was with a witness. On my way out I overheard a couple of rookies placing bets on whether it was you or a skip that put her in here." I could see him tense up at my statement and his eyes darken. Man, I sometimes forget how truly scary this guy can be.
"I thought that shit was over and done with now that you're in charge?" It's been a long time since I've had a look like that directed at me. "Now, not only are they betting on her, they think I'm abusing her?" I better get him calmed down before he does something we will all regret. He must really be on edge. It's hard to tell with this man. Well, for everyone but Steph, that is.
"It is. I don't like it any better than you do. Like I said these were a couple of rookies. They haven't had the fear of the Manoso's put into them yet." Hopefully that will lighten him up a bit. "I thought the two of you might want to stop by the station next week." Ranger looked into my eyes for a second then nodded once.
Just as I got the feeling he was gearing up to storm into the room the door opened and the doctor stepped out. He looked between the two of us for a moment before settling on Ranger.
"Mr. Manoso, your wife is fine. She's resting now, you can take her home as soon as the paperwork is finished."
"What's wrong with her?" He asked. The doctor's eyes flicked to me again. I started to turn to go and give them privacy when Ranger's voice stopped me. "He can stay." The doctor nodded and took a deep breath.
"Your wife is approximately six weeks pregnant." Shock passed over Ranger's face a millisecond before what passes for a smile lit up his face. The doctor walked off and I turned towards Ranger, both of us still smiling.
"I take it that's not what you were expecting?"
"You know Steph as well as I do. What do you think?" Ranger raised an eyebrow. It may have been a surprise, but it wasn't an unwelcome one. At least, not for him.
"Congratulations. I'm happy for the both of you." Surprisingly, I really was very happy for them. I wonder when I finally well and truly got over her. It was the only thing keeping me from proposing to Robin.
"Thanks. You want to see Steph?"
"No let her rest, I'll call her tomorrow." I got things to plan for. I'm glad I picked up that ring last week. I knew it was coming just wasn't sure when it would happen.
"You sure?"
"Yea, I got to get going. I think I'm going to ask Robin to marry me tonight." I don't know why I told him it just felt like the right thing to do.
"Good luck." If I didn't know better I would swear I saw what passed for relief in his eyes.
"Thanks man," I tilted my head towards Steph's door, "Take care of them."
"Always."
We did one of those complicated hand shakes Steph could never get the hang of and bumped fists as I headed out the exit. It doesn't get much better than this.
Please review, my muse is uncontrollable without them. Not that she is all that controllable to begin with but, well… there you have it.