Pocky Addicted Squffie Presents
Cell Phones, Soul Caliber 2, and Squall Leonhart.
Kingdom Hearts
Teaser: With the Sexy Squall as Yuffie's new step brother, she finds a way to release some pent up sexual tension! And what better way than taking her frustrations out on a few suckers and making a buck or two? Or seventy-five? Uh-oh! Squffie time!
A/N: Okay. Warning, further on this may contain Squincest. LMAO. D I heart you Jess. But like. Nothing vulgar, just some suggestive themes, mild swearing, odd situations and over all randomness! Enjoy, and be nice! I also made a new account where this Story will be moving in three days. Once i'm able to post.
Disclaimer; I don't own Kingdom Hearts, Yuffie or Squall. If I did own Squall however he'd be tied up in my closet. Lucky him I'm a poor non-red-headed step-child!
"I'm only gonna say it once. I am the world's sexiest-greatest-most desirable-female ninja! Ever. To like walk this planet and all that jazz. " Yuffie smiled at her reflection via the small bathroom mirror that was hers. Well. Once hers. By 'once' of course it meant her once two person family turned four. At that simple thought Yuffies once cheerful slightly creepy give-me-your-damn-money-right-now-or-i'll-open-a-can-of-five-hundred-year-old-chinese-whoopass-on-you-don't-believe-me?-grin turned into a small scowl.
It had happened a few days ago. Yuffie had been minding her own buisness sitting in front of the tube, watching saturday night live in her tighty-whities munching on cheetohs and chugging down the mountain dew. God. That stuff was like a drug. Anyways, her dad Gado barged through the door giggling like a maniac with some female friend. Of course he was drunk, he made it his own little ritual to hit every sake bar by the end of the summer. And what better way then going to three every saturday?
Well. Yuffie didn't care, she could con money out of him easily that way. All she had to do was say she was going to pay the bills, and the stupid intoxicated oaf, (not that she didn't love her father, she just liked getting money out of people. Nevermind the fact that she was indeed a kelpto-maniac and all that.) gave her like three hundred to five hundred dollars. Heheeh. So she coud overlook it if he went and did only god knows what with some chick in the house.
As long as she wasn't here. Turning her head upwards she shut the TV off frowning as she kneeled on the said object, her head peeking out from behind the couch with a frown on her face.
"Dad." She stated, having to repeat it a kajillion times for him to just look at her. Okay. NOT a kajillion. Try like...two.
"You're SO not respecting my boundries. We already had the whole 'eel in the cave' conversation like, three times and how it's fine for your eel to visit a cave as long as I'm not within three miles of the vicinity. " Yuffie said it rather calmly clicking her tongue against the roof of her mouth like this was the billionth time she had this conversation with him. The poor woman, who was incredibly small and petite compared to her ogre of a father, turned a strawberry color at Yuffie's rather..blunt explanation of how she didn't want them two having sex in the same house as her.
"Yuuuufffie..."He slurred grinning, obviously beyond his alcohol intake limit, "This is Raaaiiiinneeeee." The small woman giggled like a fool beneath her hand, most certainly drunk as hell.
"Oh my god. How the hell did you get here! You both are freaking foxed as hell! You could've DIED? Where would I have been then you inconsiderate jerk!" Yeah. Yuffie's screaming was just her way of showing concern for her father,even if the words came out in a selfish-sounding-mess. Involuntarily she got to her feet, exposing her naked legs and stomach and little white boxer shorts.
"Squall drove us home." Raine piped up, smiling at Yuffie. Of course, Yuffie wasn't looking at her face. But instead at her clothes. Who the hell wears a yellow sweater and jeans in the middle of freaking June? Blinking at this trying to make logical sense of this womans freaking clothes, she didn't notice a young man enter the room. That is until he spoke.
Her eyes fluttered up to the mans as she blinked stupidly at his handsome face, the lower half of her body disapearing behind the couch, leaving only her little green T-shirt exposed. He had nice eyes, an iced over blue, ...hair too. It was almost chestnut colored and even feathered!
Raine went to his side, "This is Squall! See, he drove us home? Peeeerfectly sober!" She waved her hand in front of his face giggling. Yuffie couldn't help but note that he was wearing a black shirt that hugged his upper frame quiet nicely accompanied by blue jeans.
Hell. This strange man drove her parents to this house, maybe he was a rapist! OH MY GOD.Her dad let some strange-sexy-ass-guy drive him and his giggling hussie back here! What if he like molested her? ...Okay. With that kind of body and face, Yuffie really wouldn't complain. She flushed at that thought watching the young man sigh dejectedly.
Yeah, if the guy named Squall wasn't currently in the room she would've slapped the little chick for calling this place her home. Dood, really now! This place wasn't open to strangers for Leviathans-sake! Ooh...he even had a scar. Kinkeh. Hehehe.
Squall flicked his blue eyes over at the young figure on the couch, "You told me I had a sister. Not a brother." he stated rather than inquired, his hand entangled in the mess of brown tresses that framed his face nicely.
Oh HELL no. He did SO not just call me a man! Yuffie thought bitterly, grinding her teeth hard as a cat-like hiss escaped her mouth.
But before Yuffie could jump out and start cussing him out in her native Wutain tongue, the small petite lady slapped his shoulder with almost no force whatever. Yuffie just bit back a chuckle, did that woman really think that'd do anything?
"Squall Leeeeeoooonhart! "She slurred out. God. After witnessing this, Yuffie was most definitley not drinking. Who wanted to sluurrrr like you couldn't talk straight. That wouldn't keep her from getting Sora and Roxas drunk for a few hilarious reasons. One they were brothers. And two, Roxas had mistaken Sora for a girl on one too many occasions. Wait. Did that small lady just say something again-Speaking of which, what was her fathers OBSESSION with tiny women? I mean Gawd really-
Wait, Surprise?
"You ruiiined theeee surprissseeeee...And Yufffiiiiies a giiirl! Looooook."She giggled crazily, and Yuffie stared as the drunken mad woman swayed over to her and took her pale skinny arm lifting her up over the damn couch. What the HELL? This woman was like some dominating muscle bound chick! Yuffies small buttox and waist were exposed. Okay.
They felt exposed, even if they were covered with underwear, but was it REALLY necessary for the small woman to accidentally push her over the end of the couch causing Yuffie to face plant? Most definitley not. Holding her hand to her face, Yuffie made a mental note to not piss this woman off. Or get her drunk for that matter.
"I stand corrected."Squall said with a faint grin on his lips as he looked down. Ew. Okay. The man was a creep. She felt really exposed. "Could you be more modest next time, I'm not into Jail Bait."
Yuffie lifted her head, glaring at the man who was no longer looking at her but instead at Raine. Damn. He was tall. But she could SO take him! All she had to do was throw that woman at him...if she could get the girl up, and Squall'd be knocked out cold. Yeah. It was one thing to call her a boy, it was another to call her a little kid! She was seventeen damnit!
Slowly the dialogue from this entire event began to sink in. "WHAT THE HELL! SISTER? I AM SO NOT YOUR SISTER? THIS IS NOT YOUR HOUSE? WHAT DAMN SURPRISE? MY BIRTHDAY WAS LAST WEEK! OH MY GOD I AM SO CONFUSED!" Yuffie practically jumped to her feet screaming at everyone, as she held her nose in fear of it bleeding.
Gado just smiled at her giggling. OH hell. That was incredibly creepy. He. Giggled. "Yuuuufffiiieee, Raaaiiine is going to beeee your new mooother, and Squall is yourrrr steeeeeeep brooootheeeer..."
Shit. Why didnt' I notice the matching rings on their fingers? What the hell? He can't get married! That's totally dishonoring mom...this is SO a dream! AHA. Yes. Yes it is!
Yuffie smiled a bit crazily as the others, except for Squall, smiled at her sweetly. That was until Yuffie took her hand up and started biting it repeatedly.
That's just about when Yuffie's felt the world come crashing down, the reality she knew crumbling beneath her feet. Of course, she never thought that it'd just continue to get more complicated, no longer just living with a dominatrix like woman and a man she hated. Nothing can ever stay simple.
A/N: Okay. I absolutley loved writing this! So please, ;; No flames, okie? I love Reviews though! D Reviews equal more chapters! I have enough planned out. I need some feedback though! So please. Review. REVIEW BY GOD.