AN: I can't comprehend how excited I am about writing this. It's gonna take a really long time and a lot of dedication, but I think I'm going to get back into my "CAN'T. STOP. WRITIIINGGGUH." phase with this one. Hopefully.

Welcome, nerds, babies, and celery sticks from Narnia, to the first installment of the Insanity series, Beyond the Babel. A story of the downfall of mankind itself, told from the point of view of Black Star, the perfect assassin and slight eccentric.

The second book will be Brave of Bravado, from the point of view of Soul "Eater" Evans, a renowned pianist who secretly wishes to release his wild side.

Book three will be Balance Paranoia, from the point of view of Death the Kid, heir to the throne of insanity and extreme perfectionist.

And book four will be Black Blood Child, from the point of view of Chrona Gorgon, a neglected child forged from metal and bloodlust.

So there you have it. Get excited. Get REEEAAALLL excited.

And thus, I give you chapter one of Beyond the Babel!

Book I, Chapter I: Russian Omelets

Heartless, cruel, and bloodthirsty. The way to define an assassin in three words. I'm like a vampire, in a way. I have nothing inside of me except an enormous amount of pride, so I steal from others their right to feel… well, anything.

Their blood. That's what I'm after. Or supposed to be, anyway.

I run a finger down the blade of my short sword, Tsubaki. "So what, we just sit in the rafters until he walks in?" I ask, keeping me voice low so as to not attract unwanted attention. Though I'm not quite sure why, since this is an empty barn.

"Do I have to confirm that in order for you to know that the answer is yes?"

"Where's this sass comin' from, eh?" I chuckle, smirking and looking down at her. She appears in the blade and smiles sheepishly. "Sorry, it's just been a long day."

"Shh!" I say, silencing her. She complies and I peek over the side of the rafter beside me, down towards the hay-covered ground.

A fat, ugly man with an obvious overcomb and a disgustingly sweaty face walks in, along with two taller, slimmer men. The appear to be his bodyguards, as they both wear the same plain suit and sunglass.

"He was expecting us." I say, scowling and swinging my body over the splintered wood banister and dropping to the ground.

"Psh, sunglasses?" I say, taking deep pleasure in the terrified face of the man. "What kinda bodyguards wear those anymore…? Outside of the movies, that is."

"G-g-guards…!" The man stutters, pointing at me with a shaky finger. "Th-that's him, the one Donapide-sama told me about!" He commands. They look at each other and then at me. I hold up a finger and gesture for them to come at me.

"Come on. I dare ya."

The first man holds out his hand while the second becomes a silhouette of light, and takes the shape of a machine gun in the first's hands.

"Shuriken mode!" I shout. Tsubaki changes shape on my command, and I throw the star-shaped blade at the man before the second can fully transform, and it hits him in the chest, about three or four inches from his heart.

"Damn. Missed." I mutter as target shrieks and the second bodyguard transforms back to his regular form and runs at me, not even giving a single glance to the man I just killed.

"Tsubaki! Kusarigama, now!"

"Right!"

I duck as the man throws a punch. I elbow him in the stomach, causing him to spit all over me from the blow. Now it's my turn to shriek.

"Fuck!" I swear, frantically wiping all the slime off of me. "Oh Death, man! What the hell is wrong with you?!" I exclaim, kneeing him in the balls. Now he's shrieking.

"What's with all the goddamn shrieking, jeez." I mumble, standing over him. "Tsubaki, PinStar." I tell her. She looks up at me through the blade, confused.

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah. I hit 'im in the balls. Had my fun already."

"But-"

"Look, the less people I have to kill, the happier I'll be."

"Okay…" She pins him to the ground with the chain connecting her blades, the two blades digging into his shoulders. He cries out in pain, and I wince, but keep walking forward towards the man, narrowing down my options.

Doesn't have a belt, so I can't pull a Brain Buster and even if he did, he's still too heavy. Maybe a Pinned Drop-Kick would work… but that's boring. I could try a Half or Full Nelson. But that would put me behind him… and what if he pisses when he's scared?

"Hey old man, you don't piss when you're scared, do you?" I ask. The closer I get, the more terrified he looks. He starts backing away from me, but running wouldn't be smart since he's about four-thousand pounds heavier than me.

"L-leave me alone!"

"Sorry, but I don't have a choice in the matter. It ain't personal, just somebody wants you dead but doesn't wanna get their hands dirty." I tell him, still running down my list.

"Please! I have a wife and children! I have a life! Please, I'm begging you!

Russian Omelet. It'd work perfectly, his own weight will be the cause of his downfall.

"You like omelets, old man?" I say, crossing my arms. I stop approaching him and stand still, waiting for his last words. I place my weight on my left foot, so I can get at him quickly despite standing straight.

"Wh-whaa…?"

Jeez. How boring.

I burst off my back foot, lunging at him. Before he gets the chance to resist, I grab his legs and swing them upward, crossing them and folding them over his stomach. I force him to the ground with my weight, and land him hard on his back. This folds over and snaps his spine, but since the move isn't supposed to be down so strongly (you're only supposed to sit on his legs once you fold the over, not fall on them with all your weight), the skin on his back splits and his blood spews everywhere. I try my best to ignore it and give a comical angle.

"Ugh. Smells like cow shit in here. Wait is that him…?" I inhale deeper and gag. "It is, dammit…!" I force the swear through my coughing and hacking and stand up.

"Tsubaki, status!" I call out. She transforms back and nods. "Long dead. I pinned him too far in on his left… and hit too close to his neck." She says, as if it's something to be ashamed of.

"Let's just split. I don't want the cops to get here before we're out." I say, slipping my hands into my pockets. The moisture hanging in the fabric of my clothing makes me tense, though, so I quickly remove them.

"Black Star… you're covered in…" Tsubaki trails off, and I can feel her big midnight blue eyes staring me up and down.

"Yeah. I know." I say in a low voice, letting my hair fall over my eyes so she can't see the fear they display.

I rip my shirt off and ball it up in my fist. Red. The once white fabric is stained with a reminder that I just stole a man's life.

"Get his soul." I tell her, and round the corner.

AN: If you're confused about Black Star's sudden reluctance to kill, then you'll have to tune in next time~

By the way, all the methods I mentioned in this chapter are actual ways to kill a person. It's actually kinda funny, I searched up "ways to kill a person with bare hands." Hope my parents don't go through my internet history :/ But in case you're curious, I'll tell ya now:

BRAIN BUSTER – Bend enemy over towards you, placing him in a headlock. Grab the back of his belt, and haul him into the air, vertical, upside-down. Allow yourself to fall backward, landing on your enemy's head, which will absorb your combined weight. Most effective on concrete or gravel.

PINNED DROP KICK – Standing behind enemy, holding his arms straight back. A drop kick to the back without releasing arms may severe spine, causing death.

FULL NELSON – Stand behind the enemy, put your arms under his, and lock your hands behind his head. Bending the neck forward may either break neck, asphyxiate enemy, or cut of supply of spinal fluid to brain, causing brain damage or death.

HALF NELSON – Again, standing behind enemy, but one arm is used to pin one of enemy's arms.

RUSSIAN OMELET – Cross enemy's legs. Fold enemy by pinning his shoulders to ground upside-down and placing his legs above him. Sit on his legs, folding the bass of the spine. Fatal.

Don't get any funny ideas.

Later, losers!

-TRG