" The king has a secret. Of course he does. What man on earth could have power over him if he did not?" -"Were Owl" by Catharine Valiente

" Didn't you say that you were different? Didn't you?"

"I am..I am."

"Then please say you're not this person…SAY IT!"

"I am! I AM!"

"Then tell me how to act dad, what to think, tell me why..everything you've told me

Every word has been a lie!" -Shiloh/Nathan "Repo The Genetic Opera"

Note: I included these quotes because they were my inspiration. The first got me thinking about Uther's secrets and how they make him vulnerable, but also how they make him human.

Then I heard the next quote as part of a song between a Father and his Daughter who has just found out a terrible secret about him, one she thinks she cannot forgive. This musical conversation mixed in my head with Arthur and Uther's confrontation in the Merlin Episode " Sins of the father." So This fan fiction was born. Hope you like it.

" YOU ARE NOTHING BUT A HYPOCRITE AND A LIAR!"

Arthur could feel the hatred seething through his veins, the sheer loathing of the man whose life he held at the tip of his sword blade. His father.

Uther's voice was calm, but Arthur could hear the fear, smell it. It made his hatred rise.

" Arthur…son…please.."

"No!" Arthur felt the blood throbbing in his temples as he pressed the sword point just a bit harder, watching as his father winced and squirmed. " No more talking, no more lies. That's all you do ! To me..to the people…to..to my mother."

" Arthur what happened to your mother…"

"Should not have happened! You made it happen! You traded her life for your power and then you blamed ME!"

The king was near to weeping now, Arthur felt a sour taste in his mouth and his stomach clenched with guilt he fought it down. Uther spoke pleadingly.

"No..Arthur no..I never blamed you…it wasn't like that. I loved your mother. I could never have done anything to hurt her! I didn't know..please believe me."

Arthur glared at him. " Why should I believe you? Tell me that father, why should I believe a single thing you say!"

The king went silent his head drooping forward, " I'm your father."

" Oh how I wish it weren't so…perhaps my mother was the lucky one."

Arthur lowered his sword, sheathing it viciously, " Don't worry I won't kill you…I'm not the murderer here."

As he turned to go Uther suddenly flew to his feet, anger in his eyes. " Don't you ever say that to me you ungrateful boy! Don't you understand? I learned my lesson! Everything I did I did to protect you!"

Arthur turned on him again, " Another lie! Don't you dare blame me for what you've done. Everything you did was to protect yourself, to get rid of your guilt. Is that how you help me father? By killing innocent people? Then never help me again!"

" I am not a murderer!"

" No..you're a coward. That's worse." Arthur turned to go

Uther was trembling with rage, " Arthur, you're my son. God knows I love you, but if you go out that door you are no son of mine!"

Arthur put his hand on the latch, hatred seething in him. " Then good bye…MY KING."

" ARTHUR!" Uther's voice was panicked, " Arthur, please, think about what you're doing…your killing me."

Arthur looked at him coldly, tears pricking at his eyes. " I wish you would die, at least then I'd be rid of your lies for good!"

Arthur opened the door and Uther's voice followed him, " Arthur…please!"

Slam!

Arthur stood on the other side of the door his body pressed against the wood, his chest heaving. Now that his anger was cooling he felt his sanity returning and with it a certain remorse. He wanted so badly to blot it out, he wanted to hate his father , he had a right, after all he'd done didn't his father deserve his hatred? But the truth was, even after ever thing Uther had done, Arthur loved him. Cursing he put his hand on the door handle. " Father, I…"

There was the sound of something heavy falling and the metallic clang of metal hitting stone. Arthur opened the door confused. " Father?"

To Arthur's surprise the throne stood empty, his eyes swept the room searching for the king. He felt a strange forboding creeping over him. " Father?" he called again. Then his eyes fell upon the small stone platform before the king's throne. The kings crown lay there and beside it, crumpled against the throne lay Uther.

" Father!"

Immediately all anger left Arthur, all he saw was the father of his child hood lying there before him broken and still. It terrified him.

Arthur ran to the king's side, falling to his knees beside him. His hands shook as he took him in his arms. Uther groaned and muttered something Arthur could not understand.

"Father what is it? What's wrong?"

" Arthur…please ..please don't leave me."

Arthur felt his heart break. " I'm not going anywhere, father. Lie still."

" I can't move…my skull is splitting." He grasped Arthur's arm like a drowning man. Arthur put his own hand over it.

"I'll send for Gaius…you'll be all right. GAURDS!"

Instantly the door flew open and two gaurds came in they stopped in shock at what they saw.

" Get the physician…hurry! Tell him the king is ill…go, now!"

As they hurried away Arthur turned back to the king, to his shock Uther began to cry. Arthur felt his own tears welling and he swallowed them down. " Father, don't…I'm here…it will be allright."

"You were right…I did kill your mother…it was my fault…all my fault."

" Father, please…forget that now…"

"Can you ever forgive me?"

Arthur felt his lips trembling. " I can never forgive what you've done father…"

At those words the king gasped in pain, " I've failed you."

"Father…"

But it was too late, Uther's eyes closed and he went limp in Arthur's arms. Arthur looked on in horror and grabbed for a pulse. He sighed with relief as he found one. He put his hand on his father's face , the tears fell freely now. " Father…no…can you hear me? That wasn't what I meant…I can't forgive what you've done…but I can forgive you! Can you hear me? I forgive you!" There was no response.

At that moment the door burst open and Gaius came in. Pushed away in the ensuing panic, Arthur found himself outside. Assuming he was alone, he put his face in his hands and cried.

"Arthur…I'm sorry."

Arthur jumped and turned to find Merlin standing a few feet away from him.

" Go away, Merlin."

"What happened?"

" Go AWAY, Merlin!"

Merlin was never very good at listening, " Arthur," he said insistently, " What happened?"

Arthur groaned, " I don't know. I didn't stab him if that's what you're worried about…but I might as well have."

" I don't understand."

" That doesn't surprise me…Merlin, please just go away."

Merlin walked a ways away, then he spoke over his shoulder. " Gaius will help him, you know him."

Arthur nodded absently. But as Merlin began to walk away he called after him. Merlin turned, " Yes, my lord?"

Arthur bowed his head, " Never mind." Merlin shrugged and started back to Gaius's chambers, Arthur watched him go forlornly. " It's a terrible thing being a prince." He thought, " No one can be strong all the time."