Author: Okay…this is my first story so I'm warning you….IT WILL SUCK. The intro/first chapter is meant to be mysterious. If anyone will spare the time I'll suck in any advice you've got :) Thanks!

Warning: Rated M for foul language, future/past lemons, rape, abuse, violence, self-harming, and a lot of other messed up shit.

Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN NARUTO (that my dear friend..belongs to Masashi Kishimoto) but I do own this OC (which you'll learn more about later mwahaha)

P.S. The song is For Your Entertainment by Adam Lambert, this story was inspired by my boredom...and this lovely song

Chapter 1: Lemon Drops and Kamikazes

That's how it all started, with one song, one god damn twisted song. I whispered to no one in particular ,"This was our song, the day we first met."

"So hot
Out the box
Can we pick up the pace?
Turn it up,
Heat it up
I need to be entertained
Push the limit
Are you with it?
Baby, don't be afraid
I'ma hurt 'ya real good, baby"

I'm not sure what time it was, all I knew was that I was pretty miserable to be drowning myself with more rounds than I can count of lemon drops and kamikazes.

"Let's go
It's my show
Baby, do what I say
Don't trip off the glitz
That I'm gonna display
I told ya
I'ma hold ya down until you're amazed
Give it to ya 'til your screaming my name"

More, more and more. I couldn't really stop.

"No escaping when I start
Once I'm in I own your heart
There's no way you'll ring the alarm
So hold on until it's over"

Now I remembered, I was in a club—I think it was called Zero Gravity? No wait, Blurr, that's it. Blurr. That's ironic, cause my whole life's been a blur.

"Oh, do you know what you got into?
Can you handle what I'm 'bout to do?
'Cause it's about to get rough for you
I'm here for your entertainment"

My fingers were numb and my face was hot, though I've faced way worse.

"Oh, I bet you thought that I was soft and sweet
'Ya fallen angel swept ya off ya feet
Well I'm about to turn up the heat
I'm here for your entertainment"

My visions became more subtle and I realized how I became to this fanatic- drinking until I washed away all of the pain. It was my favorite club alright, I used to go here alot. Yeah, yeah I was really messed up.

"It's alright
You'll be fine
Baby, I'm in control
Take the pain
Take the pleasure
I'm the master of both
Close your eyes
Not your mind
Let me into your soul
I'ma work ya 'til your totally blown"

My jumbled thoughts turned into memories, -memories. Now I remember, why I was sitting alone in this club. Trying to block out everything that's happened to me, I wonder why I haven't killed myself yet. I wonder why? What's holding me back, oh wait I remember why…

"No escaping when I start
Once I'm in I own your heart
There's no way 'ta ring the alarm
So hold on until it's over"

Momentarily pausing I knotted my eyebrows together. I pursed my lips, wishing I could relive the days when I thought I was safe, that I was happy and free. And there was nothing to fear.

"Oh, do you know what you got into?
Can you handle what I'm 'bout to do?
'Cause it's about to get rough for you
I'm here for your entertainment"

Swishing my head back, I downed another shot. It's vile taste washing away in the back of my throat. I tried not to recall him. But my thoughts told me otherwise.

"Oh, I bet you thought that I was soft and sweet
'Ya fallen angel swept ya off your feet
Well I'm about to turn up the heat
I'm here for your entertainment"

His piercing eyes, smooth silk-like hair. I used to run my fingers through it when we layed it bed after a round.

"Oh oh…mmmm
Entertainment…
Oh oh…..Oh entertainment…
I'm here for your entertainment…"

The thing I loved the most was his smile-

"Oooohhh…..
Do you like what you see?
Wooooaaaahhhh…
Let me entertain ya 'till you screeaaam"

He rarely smiled but whenever we were together we'd purse our lips together in harmony and he'd smile and pull me closer, our grasp felt never ending.

"Oh, do you know what you got into?
Can you handle what I'm 'bout to do?
'Cause it's about to get rough for you
I'm here for your entertainment"

But somewhere deep inside of me I realized this feeling…this feeling felt way to good to be true, but I couldn't stop. I loved him too much to let go.

"Oh, I bet you thought that I was soft and sweet (bet ya thought)
'Ya fallen angel swept ya off your feet
Well I'm about to turn up the heat (turn up the heat)
I'm here for your entertainment"

He's gone now, forever. I closed my eyes, they were welting up with tears. Something I had not done since I was very young. "Nghhh," I grasped for my face with my cold hands, I didn't want to remember. No, wait. I did but it hurt too much. I taught myself to stay numb, love pain but when he showed up he opened my heart up to closed off feelings. I was head over heels for him, I felt like I wanted to spend the rest of eternity with him, but I was wrong, I was lead to a false security of hope. Of love.