A/N: This is a new story I'm starting! It will be my first story featuring chapters! I will try to update frequently :) Hope you enjoy and special thanks to NeroAlmia for the ideas :D
Chapter 1: "Wretched Sands and the Reasons..."
The wind blew in the Haina Desert as the six walked through it. The wind wasn't cold, in fact it was burning hot, enough to make all of them near to evaporating,
"Pika pika piii!" Pikachu yelled, aggravated from the situation they were in,
"Shut up, bitch!" Jotaro answered Pikachu. Even though Pikachu wasn't a girl Jotaro felt the need to say 'bitch'.
They wouldn't have been here if it wasn't for that cursed man. Thinking about the incident made all of them sick, yet the passion of frustration helped them go on.
****Flashback****
"You shouldn't have done that." Happy Mask Saleman giggled at Shrek jumping in the mud, but Shrek paid no attention to his various banters. Jotaro and Barry sat together far from the swamp. Reason being Barry didn't want his wings getting dirty and wet and Jotaro didn't want the very mud that Shrek took a bath in on his clothes,
"You still need to pay for the chairs you're sitting on. I'm the one who owns them, fat asses." Tom Nook scowled at the bee and stand user,
"Get something better to do like collecting honey or some shit." Barry announced to Tom Nook who had no better things do to other than annoy the shit out of people.
"Pika pika pika pika? (How do you get your hair so luscious?)" Pikachu asked Star Platinum,
"Ora?" He replied back, not understanding,
"You have made a terrible mistake haven't you?" Happy Mask Salesman giggled,
"Ogres are like onions. Ain't they go an' make mistakes... LAdeh."
"Hee..hee..hee.." Happy Mask Salesman giggled some more.
Jotaro tipped his hat over and began to snore, Barry took it as his chance to throw mud on that narcissistic asshole. Just as he was about to a loud voice boomed,
"Gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang."
"Lil' Pump!" Shrek gasped, "Not you! Last time you came, you done ruined my ass!"
"Wait a second you guys had sex?!" Happy Mask Salesman's eyes opened as he began to shake Shrek, "He's my love! NOT YOUR'S! YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE FUCKING DONE THAT!"
"Oh my fuck. WOULD YOU SHUT UP BICTH!" J0tar0 yelled at Lil' PUmp you only screamed the lyrics louder,
"AAAHHH! THIS MUSIC IS SHIT! IT MAKES JAZZ-WHICH WAS ALREADY GOD-GOD'S GOD! FUCK!" Barry yelled,
"Picci gang picci gang picci gang x 1000000" Pikachu got mind controlled by Lil' Pump and began chanting along with him,
"Lil' Pump needs to pay for the tiger he purchased from me for his music video. That fucker." Tom Nook hissed,
"MY LADEHS!" Shrek yelled, "ONCE HE REACHES ONE MILLION, HE WILL BANISH US TO OTHER PLACE! BRACE YERSELFS!" Shrek yelled. Yet it was too late, he already had. And that's how the gang ended up in Haina Desert.
****END OF FLASHBACK****
"Okay Ladehs, huddle up." They all formed a circle, "We'll be stuck in this desert for as much ear wax I have, in other words a lot."
"Well you knew about how Lil' Pump could banish us, so do you know anything else?" Jotaro asked,
"Well Ladeh, I'm going to guess we have to counter attack with a song."
"How about some classic Take Five?" Barry asked,
"That's too soft, Ladeh."
"Link screaming?" Happy Mask Salesman asked,
"Too violent, Ladeh.."
"Nook Cranny?" Tom Nook inquired,
"Too dumb. ladeh.."
"Pika pika piii! (Minecraft Revenge!)" Pikachu yelled,
"What's this ladeh saying?" Shrek asked,
"Star Platinum said he can't understand him either, so that's out of the question.."
"So Ladehs... Think hard... An equally bad song.."
"PIKA PIKA PII! (MINECRAFT REVENGE!)"
"Seems like this rat is telling us some useful information. We should find a translator!" Barry yodelled,
"From where? My arse?" Shrek yodelled back,
"It's a fanfic anything can happen!" Barry whispered,
"WHAT?" Everyone yelled,
"Nothing just singing some jazz!"
- To Be Continued...
A/N: Hope you enjoyed it! And have a good day :)