Song belongs to Troye Sivan. I recommend listening to the song while reading. The song is called Ease.
Just a reminder: Percy and Annabeth just got back together and he doesn't want to ruin it for anything. So that is why he is so hesitant at sharing with her at first. He doesn't want her to think he is scared(even though he is).
DISCLAIMER : I DO NOT OWN PERCY JACKSON AND HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO INTENTION OF DOING SO.
I'm down to my skin and bone
And my mommy, she can't put down the phone
And stop asking, how I'm doing all alone
Alone
His mother couldn't stop asking Chiron too many times how her baby was doing on that big bad quest so alone and afraid. And every time Percy asked him to tell her, he was doing fine. Her baby was alright, he was alive and well. And he was not alone. For now.
But all this driving
Is driving, me crazy
And all this moving, is proving
To get the best of me
And I've been trying to hide it
But lately
Percy couldn't sleep. He wanted it all to be over with. He was just so tired. He just wanted to go home to mom and sleep next to her, cuddled up under warm blankets watching those cheesy old movies she liked so much. Just like they used to.
Every time I think I'm better
Picking my head up
Getting nowhere
"I want to go home." Is not something to be expected of the leader of an extremely dangerous quest. He wanted to tell Annabeth, of course. But, what if she would think him weak? That he had changed while with the Romans? He did not want her to think he was scared. If he was vulnerable, who would she lean on when she was scared?
He just wanted to talk to his mom. She would know exactly what to say. But, he didn't want her to worry. He needed her to be happy.
Take me back to the basics and the simple life
Tell me all of the things that make you feel at
Ease
Your touch, my comfort, and my lullaby
Holding on tight, sleeping at night
Holding on tight, sleeping at night
Percy just wanted to go home. He wanted to stay in his mother's arms while she told him stories about his father and him and a child. He wanted to feel at ease, instead of worrying about something every single moment.
Now I'm down to my skin and bones
My baby listens to me on the phone
But I can't help feeling like I'm all alone,
All alone
He decided he could trust Annabeth. She loved him. She accepted him. And his fears. When he told her why he didn't mention this to her before, she sighed and said, "Always so selfless, Percy."
The truth is, the stars are falling, babe
And I'd never ever thought that I would say
I'm afraid of the life that I've made,
I've made.
The stars were definitely falling. Everything was falling. He was falling, falling, falling. And yet, he didn't regret it. Annabeth was his anchor to sanity. He could not let her die, could not let her fall; At least not alone. He held her while falling, thinking about all his life decisions. Was it worth it? He thought. Was it worth leaving his mom for all of this? He had a choice when he found out what he was. He could have left Camp Half Blood. But he didn't. Because he thought he finally found home. What he didn't realize was, he already had one.
But all this driving
Is driving, me crazy
And all this moving, is proving
To get the best of me
And I've been trying to hide it
But lately
Every time I think better
Picking my head up
Getting nowhere
"Can I talk to my mom Chiron?"
"She's not here Percy, but you can leave a message."
-Hi Mom. I love you. Please don't worry about me. I promise I'm going to come home. How could I not, with those chocolate chip cookies you make. I love you. Bye.
He knew it was cryptic, but he couldn't risk it. He just didn't want her to worry.
He needed her to know it was worth it. He fell into Tartarus knowing the risks full well.
Take me back to the basics and the simple life
Tell me all of the things that make you feel at
Ease
Your touch, my comfort, and my lullaby
Holding on tight, sleeping at night
He wanted to go home and just hug her. He smiled at the thought that now he would be the one enveloping her in his warmth.
I've been lying to them all
I don't need it anymore
Don't you worry about me
I'll be fine if I can breathe
I've been out here for too long
Taking shit for how I'm wrong
How I'm wrong
Always wrong
He would be fine if he could breathe, but the trouble was that he couldn't. But he didn't want her to know that, he didn't want her to know anything. He didn't want her to worry.
Take me back to the basic and the simple life
Tell me all of the things that make you feel at
Ease
Your touch, my comfort, and my lullaby
Holding on tight, sleeping at night
Holding on tight, sleeping at night
He was coming home. He was fulfilling his promise. He was going to keep Sally Jackson – Blofis happy. And along the way, he would have some blue chocolate chip cookies.
Holding on tight, sleeping at night
Holding on tight, sleeping at night
(Take me back to the basics and the simple life)
He was finally in her arms, she was putting him to sleep. He was home.
Holding on tight, sleeping at night
(Tell me all of the things that make you feel, at, Ease)
Holding on tight, sleeping at night
(Your touch, my comfort, and my lullaby)
Holding on tight, sleeping at night
And he realized, home is where the heart is. He had way more than one home. And that was alright.
Just a reminder: Percy and Annabeth just got back together and he doesn't want to ruin it for anything. That is why he is so hesitant at sharing with her at first. He doesn't want her to think he is scared(even though he is).