She didn't know what they were but she liked it.
She took more international flights and smiled more. The tiredness she had been feeling for years was suddenly lifted. She was a hybrid, she never should have been tired in the first place. But now she didn't worry about it. Now she took her daughter for weekend spa days and went shopping with Freya for things unrelated to faction life.
And maybe she fell asleep to the memory of Klaus's hands and lips and teeth on her skin, now too.
It was good.
They were in France.
She had been hesitant to come. She hadn't been sure that either of them could avoid bringing up the person they had lost. But Manosque was on the other side of France from Le Havre. So here they were, walking the halls of Musée Maison de l'Armateur. Hayley was laughing at Klaus' expression- disgust over a poorly restored piece of art. She knew he didn't really care about this museum. He had already told her that he was there to retrieve an item he had left behind nearly two hundred years ago.
She pretended not to see the way his lips turned up in a smile.
"Hayley."
Her heart stopped. She knew that voice. It was a voice that she associated with pain. The voice of a friend, a lover, a memory. She turned slowly, hand slipping from its place in Klaus' without even noticing. He looked the same. The suit and tie, the polished shoes, the perfect posture. And yet he seemed different to her now. Or maybe she was different. But the comfort she once gained from his smile was noticeably absent. And there was a lightness in his eyes that warned her to be careful.
He stepped toward her. She felt Klaus step back. She did neither- she couldn't. Then his hands were resting along the line of her jaw, gently caressing like nothing had changed between them. She moved by rote- her hands coming up to circle his wrists. But it was like she was seeing someone else move in her body. Then he was kissing her and she didn't know what to think or feel or do. She was drowning...but it wasn't warm and soft and good. This time it was all the terror of a dark, cold, unforgiving sea.
When he pulled back there was the same love in his eyes that had always been.
"Elijah..."
She brought him back to their apartment.
Klaus was there like she knew he would be. A maid was compelled to stand in silence as her blood poured into a tumbler. The painting he had been working on was shredded, the pieces curling from the heat of the fireplace. It was of the two of them. She'd loved it.
"Ah, the lovebirds have returned." She fought a wince at the bite in his tone. Still, Klaus must have notice her discomfort-he always did. "Don't worry, love, I'll be gone in a moment. You two can reacquaint yourselves." Her spine straightened at the innuendo even while her heart ached at the pain she could see behind the anger in his eyes.
And of course Elijah chose that moment to speak up.
"Really Niklaus, I had thought after all this time you would have learned to show the mother of your child a little more respect." She watched the way Klaus' eyes got that much darker, more menacing before his eyes left her to meet his brother's. "I know you have never cared for Hayley, but surely you can show a modicum of decorum." Elijah's hand came to rest at the small of her back and Hayley had to remind herself not to tense up.
She needed to say something. She needed to explain the change in her and Klaus' relationship. But her eyes were glued to his face and what she saw there. It was devastating. Anger- of course, he wouldn't be Klaus if he weren't angry. But there was also pain and sadness and maybe she was reading too much into it but... It was like he had expected this. Like he thought she could never truly choose him if Elijah was in the picture. Which was... not as crazy as she wanted it to be.
It had been Elijah from the start. She had loved him and fought for him for so long that a part of her was unsure of if she really should choose Klaus. But not even two hours ago there hadn't been a choice at all. Two hours ago Klaus was all she wanted and Elijah was a painful yet beautiful memory of a past life. But Klaus had seen that past. He had seen what loving Elijah and losing Elijah had done to her. And this thing they had started in Austria- this feeling they were finally letting themselves explore- it was so new.
Klaus stood from the chair he had been sitting in. Hayley instinctively took a step toward him. But then Elijah's grip tightened around her waist and she stilled. There was something heartbreaking in the smirk that played on Klaus' lips as he watched. He made his way to the door, slowing as he moved passed her. His voice dropped to the low rasp he used when he held her at night, "Enjoy your evening, Hayley." Then he was gone.
Elijah slid his arm up to pull her into him.
The maid bled onto the wood floor.
And Hayley...she wondered just how much her silence had cost her.
"How much do you remember?"
Elijah was sitting on the couch and she had taken the chair Klaus had been in. The scent of Elijah's cologne was pushing out the scent of the soap Klaus used. It was so representative of what Klaus must be feeling- as if Elijah was pushing him out of her heart. But he wasn't. Or at least she didn't think so. But then again maybe she was just feeling all of the things that she hadn't let herself feel since Elijah wiped his memories. There had been no point in loving a man who didn't know her- who didn't want to know her.
But he did know her...Somehow.
At some point he had regained enough of his memory to know who she was and to know who Klaus was. Somehow he had ended up here- in Le Havre- wandering the same museum that she and Klaus had found their way to. The orphan girl from the streets said nothing was coincidence. But she wasn't sure if that meant she and Elijah were supposed to be together or if something else was happening. The way this family was it was hard to tell.
Elijah leaned back casually, more relaxed than she had ever seen him before. He didn't slouch or anything, but he didn't hold himself as rigidly either. It was like something had been set loose inside of him and it showed. His words brought her back to the conversation at hand. "I had a witch undo the compulsion. I was having flashes of memory but they were so fleeting that it left me disoriented. For my own sanity I needed to find a way to remember everything."
Hayley weighed his words. She didn't think he was lying per se, but something about him made her think he was holding back parts of the story. Still, she nodded as if his explanation was enough. "How did you decide on Le Havre?" It was a lovely town to be sure, but Hayley didn't get the impression that it would be a place Elijah just showed up in for no reason.
"I called Rebekah. She told me Niklaus would be here. Given the volatile and reckless nature my brother has, I felt it might be necessary to reign him in." A searing anger burned through her, but Hayley kept quiet. It wasn't as if Klaus had been a saint during these last few years. But still, Elijah didn't understand why Klaus did what he did. He had no place to judge. "Then to see the two of you together… that was a welcome surprise. I'm glad you've been kind enough to give him updates on Hope. It must help keep him from completely falling into his usual murderous rages."
She should tell him. She should tell him right now. Because hearing him talk about Klaus that way was making her angry. And she knew that if she told him about how she hadn't come because of Hope- if she told him about the way Klaus fucked her against the wall five seconds after she got here from the airport- he would shut up. But she didn't because she knew it would hurt him, too. And no matter how angry she was, she didn't want to hurt Elijah.
So she kept quiet.
She kept quiet and waited for Klaus to come home.
He didn't come back that night.
Or the next, or the one after that. He didn't come home until the day her flight was scheduled to leave. And when he walked in he didn't even look at her. She had been worried the first night- about him, about innocent people around him. But then she reminded herself that he had changed for the better. So the worry went away and was replaced by anger. Because he was acting like she had already left him. He wasn't even giving her a chance to think or process anything. He was just jumping to conclusions that she hadn't made yet. But the anger lasted as long as the worry.
Then she was caught up in Elijah.
They talked about his time away. They spoke about Hope and Rebekah and Kol and Freya. She got to learn the ways that he had changed and he got to see the newer parts of her, too. It was nice. It was easy. Things had changed, but somehow they were still very much the same. He was unfailingly polite. Not that Klaus was really rude to her, because he wasn't. And Elijah was so ordered, following some internal schedule, like he always had. She and Klaus had an outline for their days, but nothing was carved in stone- they could adjust.
Either way it was good to have Elijah back. It was good to know that when she looked at him she was seeing him and he was seeing her. They didn't have to be strangers to each other anymore. He was tactile- leaving touches that would be meaningless if it weren't for the history between them. And he kissed her. Not in a sensual way or possessively. No, his kisses were casual little things, 'hellos', and 'good mornings'. She couldn't help how her heart sped up just that little bit each time. But it still felt like something was missing. And she couldn't pretend she didn't know what it was.
"Elijah, I know you have always needed to organize things to your own liking, but could you please remember that this apartment is mine. Things are as I wish them to be." It was the first time she had heard his voice in almost a week. He sounded normal. He sounded as if Elijah regaining his memory was nothing special and him disappearing for days was okay.
Coming to stand beside her, Elijah wrapped an arm around Hayley's waist. "Ah, yes Brother, how dare I try to add some semblance of order to the mess you have created. Don't worry, I shall be gone soon and you can resume your lifestyle of slovenly excess." Hayley bit her tongue. This was what they did. This was how they were with each other. She didn't need to defend Klaus- he could defend himself.
"If you don't mind, Brother, I would like a word alone with Hayley. We have things to discuss." Elijah was obviously surprised at the lack of anger coming from Klaus. To be honest, she was too. But not as surprised by his request to speak to her. She had been sure he would let her leave without them talking at all.
The grip on her waist tightened and Hayley sent Elijah a questioning look. But he ignored it. Instead he used the fact that she had turned to look at him to press a kiss to her lips. It was the first time since he had come back that he had kissed her on the mouth and she knew it was to annoy Klaus. She pulled away and walked to the other side of the room. No matter what was going on between the brothers she wasn't going to be used as a piece in their game.
Her eyes went to Klaus and she was surprised at the concern on his face as he watched her. She would have expected anger or that stupid smirk she hated. Then Elijah was picking up his suit jacket and Hayley let her eyes fall to the floor. "Very well, Niklaus. I will be at the café down the street. Hayley, feel free to join me when you are finished here."
Then he was gone and she was alone his Klaus.
"Where were you?"
The way Klaus' eyes narrowed tore something in her. They were past this. And she wouldn't let him send them back to that unhealthy place. So she got up and marched over to stand in front of him. Her hand came up to rest on his chest like it had so many times since they started this thing between them. "Klaus, tell me."
For a second his expression softened. For a moment she thought they could talk- really talk. Then he said, "Tell Hope that I will be resuming our visits again, if she would like." And she knew. He was ending this- whatever it was, he was stopping it. He would go back to being nothing more than Hope's father and she would be Hope's mother and that was all they would ever be to each other.
"Klaus…"
He pulled her hand from his chest and gently pushed her back a step. "It never changes, love. It will always be Elijah you want. And that's fine." His voice was so soft. No anger, no bitterness, just a sadness she had never heard from him before. "I've watched this story unfold for years. It was my fault for letting myself believe we could ever truly be more than what we are- the parents to a beautiful little girl."
Her mind was cracking, fracturing into pieces. This wasn't what she wanted. This wasn't how this trip was supposed to go. But things were so much more complicated than she had imagined. A laugh bubbled up and slipped out. Her entire time with the Mikaelsons had been completely insane and this was the thing she couldn't have imagined? Not witches sacrificing her baby, not an ancient spirit possessing her daughter, but this- losing Klaus because of Elijah.
"What's so funny, Little Wolf?"
But she just shook her head. Because it wasn't funny- not really. It was tearing her apart and she knew that if she didn't laugh she would break down and cry. "Do I get a say at all?" She tried not to cringe at the surprise that flashed in his eyes. "Because if you had just come back, if you had talked to me instead of running away, you'd know that I don't want Elijah." She turned where she was to watch as he brushed passed her.
"Klaus, stop." His back was rigid and his fists were clenched, but he didn't leave. "Did I miss Elijah? Yes, of course I did. He was a huge part of my life and I loved him so much. Did it hurt knowing he didn't remember me- our history? You know the answer to that because you know how that felt. But I meant what I said in Vienna. And these last few days have just made that more clear. Elijah isn't the person I want. And he isn't the person I need. I'm not the lost, scared, pregnant orphan anymore. The woman I am now needs more than what Elijah knows how to give and I want it from you."
Slowly, so slowly she watched as he turned back around. He looked so unsure, so hesitantly hopeful. And it somehow broke and mended her heart all at once. Because this was the Klaus that no one else got to see- not really. He was always hiding, always putting on an act. But this was the real him- the boy who wanted to love but was terrified to let anyone in.
The apartment door closing startled both of them.
Hayley spun around- hoping that it was a maid, knowing that it wasn't.
Hayley dropped her bag by the door.
She could hear Freya talking to Vincent in the kitchen. A part of her knew she should probably go say hi, but she was exhausted. Her flight home had been awful. The weather had turned disgusting as she was leaving the airport. And her mind kept replaying those last few hours in France.
'I always believed you to be happy with me, Hayley…'
She forced her feet to carry herself up the stairs to her room. But her hand froze over the handle. She could still remember the last time she had slept in here. Freya was out of town. Hope was at school. And Klaus was between her thighs, her hands gripping his curls and his pinning her hips to the bed to keep her still. She took a step away from the door. Hope's room would work for tonight.
She passed Elijah's room.
'Hayley, my brother may claim to care for you now, but he will always put his self-interest above your happiness. He cannot change…'
The headache she had gotten on the plane got that much worse. She needed to eat something or a blood bag. She wasn't sure which would be better. Not that she had the energy to go back downstairs for either option. She heard Vincent tell Freya about her bag by the door. She would probably come up in a while to ask about the trip. Hayley wasn't ready for that. Freya didn't know about what she and Klaus had been doing. And Hayley didn't think she should be the one to tell her about Elijah's memory being back.
She went into Hope's room and closed the door. The tension drained from her just by being in this room. Her daughter was the perfect mix of her parents. Sometimes Hayley wasn't sure how she and Klaus had created such a wonderful little person. The corner where Hope's art supplies were kept was meticulously organized- just like Klaus'. And the closet was a mess of clothes just like Hayley's closet. The bed was made, but the dresser was cluttered. The art on the walls was tasteful and classic, but her music selection was edgy and new.
'We made one perfect thing together Hayley. I don't want to risk hurting her by forcing something that was never meant to be in the first place…'
She kicked off her shoes and pulled off her jeans and shirt. She found one of her old t-shirts that Hope had borrowed and pulled it on. Crawling into the center of the bed, Hayley tried not to think about anything. There was no point. She couldn't do anything about the mess she found herself in.
'Elijah, I'm sorry…'
She squeezed her eyes shut tight. Like it would erase the image of his hurt expression.
'Klaus, please, don't do this…'
She held her breath.
She held it until her mind went blank.
There was a note on her pillow when she woke up.
-Little Wolf,
Ruysdaelstraat 54-56, 1071 XE Amsterdam, Thursday at 7:00 p.m.
K-
Her hands shook as she refolded the note and carried it to her room. Someone had brought her bag up and put it on her bed. She stared at it for a long moment. The clothes were clean, she hadn't unpacked, and Hope wasn't expecting her to visit for another two weeks.
She had just pulled up flights to Amsterdam when Freya walked in.
"Long flight?" Hayley turned and took in the woman in front of her. Freya had that look- the one that said she knew something but wasn't going to tell. Any other day Hayley might have tried to pry whatever it was out of her. But not today.
"Yeah. I was running late and almost missed it. Then I swear it was full of the worst humans possible. Noisy, couldn't keep still. I'm just glad it's over." And she was. She sincerely hoped the flight to Amsterdam was more peaceful.
"You have a letter. It showed up this morning. No return address." Hayley's brows furrowed as she tried to figure out if Freya meant the note or something else. Then Freya was pulling an envelope out of her back pocket and handing it over. "Seems mysterious…You have a new man you haven't told me about?"
Hayley almost smiled. If this trip went well, it wouldn't be a new man. And if it went the way she hoped it would, she wouldn't have to keep him a secret for much longer. She tore open the envelope and pulled out the small letter inside. The person who wrote the letter had not been the same person who addressed the envelope. Because if it had been, Freya would have known it was from Elijah. Hayley glanced over at the woman she considered a sister. "Can I have a minute?" She didn't miss the curiously concerned look Freya sent her, but she pretended she did. She waited until Freya closed the door behind her to unfold the letter.
-Dear Hayley,
I cannot tell you that this letter is written in good spirits. If I am honest, I had hoped that you would still be waiting for me when my memories were restored. Or that if you had moved on it would be with someone more worthy of you than my brother.
But now I am coming to realize that perhaps it is not my place to decide who is worthy enough for you. It should be you who makes that choice. And as I look back over our time together, especially taking into account the changes that have been forced upon this family, I realize that we have not suited each other for quite some time. I held you on a pedestal that I had no right to place you on. And you only ever wished to be independent and equal to those around you.
My love for you is too strong to fade quickly. In truth I am unsure if it will ever truly fade or if I want it to. But I cannot place the burden of my affection on you. You have no obligation to me. And I have only ever wanted your happiness in life. However, knowing your happiness comes from another, I must separate myself. To be near you and yet not be able to call you mine would be unfathomable for me at this time. So I choose to bow out of your life as gracefully as I can. Not forever, you are family and I have never wished to be apart from my family.
I do wish to leave you this warning: My brother will never truly cease to be the monster he has become. And while Hope has brought about a change in him I never expected, I do not believe it is enough or that it will be everlasting. So please, be on your guard. He never means to hurt those he loves, yet we have always been the ones to suffer the most at his hand.
You will always be in my heart. And I look upon our time together with joy and fondness. Those memories will not be tarnished by our parting. And I will always be here for you- in whatever capacity you need.
Most Sincerely,
Elijah Mikaelson-
There were tears on the cheeks when she finally folded the letter up and returned it to its envelope. She felt so many things. Sadness, hurt, pride, and even anger. But she also felt free. He was letting her go. He was giving her a chance to be happy without having to feel guilty for it. And she loved him for it. Too much had happened between them for her to ever be okay with losing him. She wanted Elijah in her life. But the love was different now and she was alright with that.
She placed the envelope in the box where she kept her other keepsakes. It sat next to the box of letters to Klaus- the ones that had been returned unopened. So many memories were locked inside those two boxes. So many feelings that she had tried to hold on to over the years. This time she wasn't holding on to a feeling, she was letting it go. She closed the box and turned back to her phone.
She booked her flight.
Then she grabbed her bag and walked out the door.
Hayley walked into the Restaurant Le Garage at 6:50 p.m.
She was ten minutes early, but she didn't mind. She had been in the city for an extra three days, visiting the sights and enjoying the history of the city. It was odd, being in a place like this without Klaus telling her about the way it had been before, or the trouble he had gotten into in this small town or around that corner. But she loved it all the same.
The hostess asked if she had a reservation and she faltered. She was sure Klaus made one, but she wanted to surprise him if she had gotten there before her. The woman looked at her questioningly and Hayley knew she probably looked like a crazy person standing there with her mouth open.
"Yes, she's with me. Mikaelson."
She tried to bite back her smile, but it was pointless. The hostess glanced between them curiously but quickly pasted on her brightest fake smile and led them to their table. Klaus' hand had come to rest at the small of her back right where the cutout of her dress ended. It was comforting and exciting at the same time. When she left France she hadn't been sure when she would feel his hands on her again- in any capacity. So this, as innocent as it was, made her heart beat that much faster.
He pulled out her seat for her and he poured the wine that was brought for them. They didn't speak, but Hayley was fine with that. She wasn't sure what she would have said anyway- at least not without making a fool of herself. So they ate their food in silence and pointed out the people or things they found interesting.
And she was happy.
He followed her to her hotel.
Her palms were sweating a little and her skin felt overheated, but she kept her composure. They needed to talk. And she knew they couldn't move forward until they did. But that didn't mean she couldn't be nervous. And the fact that Klaus seemed so…un-nervous was not helping Hayley at all.
She tossed her purse onto the table by the balcony window and kicked off her heels. She almost offered him something to drink, but decided not to. Alcohol wouldn't help this conversation. So instead she sat on the edge of the bed. She watched as he shrugged off his jacket and hung it over the back of a chair. She took in the way he moved to lean against the wall by the balcony- the way the moonlight touched half of him and kept the other half in shadow. It was like the two sides of him were both in play- the vampire and the wolf.
"Why did you come here, Hayley?"
He didn't look at her, but she understood why. Sometimes it's easier to be vulnerable when you don't have to face it fully. She twisted the skirt of her dress in her fingers for a moment, before deciding to just be honest. They couldn't play games with each other tonight. There was too much at stake… at least for her.
"Because I wanted to be with you. Because I miss you."
His eyes turned golden for a moment and it felt like she couldn't breathe. Then he turned to face the window fully. She could barely make out his face in the window's reflection. "I want to believe you. And maybe I do, but never has anyone chosen me over my brother. I find it hard to reconcile. Especially given the…past… you two share."
Her lips tipped up into a sad smile. That was what this was about. His fear of being left behind- again. She had always known he was insecure when it came to Elijah. She had known that part of why he acted out was to push people away before they could leave on their own. And it had worked- she had been ready to give up on Klaus more times than she could count. But not this time. This time things were different- they were different.
Hayley stood up and crossed to where he was. Her arms wrapped around him from behind as she rested her head between his shoulder blades. "If you had asked me while Marcel had you, I would have said nothing could make me choose you over Elijah. But if you had asked me during the whole mess with the Hollow, I wouldn't have been able to choose between you." She watched through the window's reflection as her words sunk in. And she knew he was remembering the day he had decided to sacrifice himself. She had fought him- not as hard as she would fight now, but more than she would have when she was pregnant. "But now I couldn't imagine losing you."
There was nothing else she could say. Nothing she could do that could convince him if he didn't want to be convinced. And they both knew it. He stayed quiet for the longest time and she let him. She wasn't going anywhere unless he told her to. And honestly probably not even then- she didn't take orders from anyone, especially not him.
He turned and one of his hands slid around to the small of her back- pulled her closer. The other came to rest against her neck. It reminded her of the day in the bayou when he told her he trusted her. It reminded her of the day he turned himself over to Marcel. Both times the memory of his touch had been bittersweet. But not this time.
He brought his forehead down to rest against hers.
Then his lips were on hers and she knew they would be alright.
She woke up wrapped in Klaus' arms.
Her mind took her back to the night before. It had been everything- gentle and slow and achingly sweet. If she had ever doubted how Klaus felt about her before she couldn't now. He had taken his time, touched every part of her. His kisses were scorching and soothing. His fingers were soft and possessive. He had taken hours building her up, taking her so close just to bring her back down. It had been infuriating and overwhelming and perfect. And when he finally got her there it was the strongest climax she had ever had.
A slow, satisfied smile spread across her face.
"Happy this morning, Little Wolf?"
She let her eyes open slowly. There he was- smug smirk on his face, eyes happy and teasing. It was a good way to wake up. "Maybe I am. Is that a problem?" His eyebrow quirked up and his grin turned just this side of feral. Although that was probably due to the fact that her hand was working its way down his abdomen.
"Careful, Hayley. I bite."
She couldn't hold in her laugh. It was so terrible she couldn't believe he let himself say it. But then again, it was so Klaus. He put on a show of being offended but she saw the smile in his eyes. His arms tightened around her and she let him pull her closer. "I really expected better from you. You've had a thousand years to come up with lines and threats and that's what you give me?"
The world tilted as he pulled her on top of him. Her hands went to his chest to keep her balance and his gripped her thighs to keep her still. "Shall I give you something else instead, love?" She rolled her eyes, but her smile ruined it a little. God, his ego- it was never gonna change. Then he was pulling her down so he could kiss her and she didn't care about his cheesy lines anymore.
Yeah, she was happy.