A/N: New fic for all you CaptainSwan lovers! I think this has the potential for a lot, so let me know if you're in on this journey with me.

XOXO

THE CASE OF MISSING YOU

September of 2007

"Are you finally gonna ask her out? You've been making eyes all summer." Liam asked. He elbowed his brother as they walked down the school hallways, "Come on, it's my senior year; at least make it worth the while."

Killian shook his head, "I'm not sure if she's that much into me."

Her tall frame and slender body were like of a Victoria's secret model. Her green eyes had a small speck on silver shining in them. She had long, wavy blonde hair, so smooth and silky, almost as if it was tailored from gold fabric. She had a light pale skin which made her beautiful pink lips stick out. Her cheeks were rouged and she was dressed in a pair of black skinny jeans, a white shirt, and a red leather jacket.

He swallowed loudly as he stopped in the middle of the hallway, "I don't think I can do this."

"Grow a pair and be a man!" Liam said before shoving his brother in front of Emma Swan. She turned quickly, scared by the close space they were in. Her eyebrow raised confidently and a small smile began to form as Killian smiled.

"Hey, Emma."

He had rich chocolate hair that had tousled griminess which promised finesse. He had distinct cheekbones and an angular jaw, his pale skin made him look devilishly handsome. He had strong arched brows and eyelashes so thick, it could be illegal. And then his eyes - they were deep and catastrophic, a vivid dark blue as a great body of water that softly melted into a milky green. She paused with her mouth open, mesmerizing his delicious features before she spoke.

"Killian, hey, I haven't seen you since June. Where have you been?" Emma said, closing her locker and leaning against it.

He shrugged, "Just hanging out. Missed you."

She blushed, "Missed you too. Now, what did you need?"

"Are you free this Friday? I wanna go out," he stuttered, "With you."

"I thought you'd never ask." she smiled as she rubbed his shoulder, before the bell rang and they separated.

September of 2016

She shuffled through her notebooks, trying to find the notes she took on a past murder case. Even though she had organized her file cabinets twice a week, it was still somehow always messy and out of order. Emma pulled out the file for September of 2010, before rummaging through it and ripping out a crumpled up piece of yellow paper. She read her notes aloud to try and spark some memory, but nothing was working.

With an angry growl she threw the paper back in the file, then sighed. Then, she reached for it again, grabbing a handful of papers now, and pulled out a random piece of old, grey paper.

On it, was written a note by herself in November 2010. It read:

Dear Killian,

I'm writing this letter to possibly get rid of some of my grief. These past few months without you have been the worst of my entire life. I know this will never get to you and you will never read it, because I'm not sending it to you. But I needed to get my feelings down on paper so they wouldn't be stuck in my heart. Here goes nothing.

I've been looking for you again and still I cannot find you. My eyes wander off in the blue sea and in the silky mantel of the sky in search of a glimpse of your eyes, a glimpse of your much needed presence. Everything blue in this world reminds me of your sweet, deep eyes. I miss you more and more with every memory of you, at all times, but more so when I'm feeling lonely and distant. The love I feel for you is honest and true, in the exact same proportion as the sea is deep and the sky is infinite. And the immense, empty galactic space is the dimension of how much I miss you. I wish I were a God and I wish I could gather all the pleasures that I take from your presence. I wish I could gather in my soul all the affection with which you strengthen me and I wish you would never deprive me of your big smile and those amazing blue eyes of yours that always seem to have the ability to warm up and calm my heart. I need to see you again fast. I need our eyes to meet so I can see the magic, the truth and the affection reflected in those kind, beautiful eyes of yours.

I miss you.

Love,

Emma

Her mouth dropped at the sight of the letter. It brought back terrible memories.

November of 2010

"Hey Killian, ew no, that sounds disgusting," she sighed and crumpled up the piece of paper, "Killian, hey. That sounds even worse."

She threw the paper into the pile she had on the ground. A tear fell from her eye as she sighed again and took out another piece to write on.

"I still can't believe you're gone," she shook her head and tore the paper up fast, "That sounds like he's dead."

Quickly, she grabbed another piece of paper and started to write her feelings straight from her heart, "I miss you. I miss your eyes. I miss your laugh. I miss your corny and dirty jokes. I miss you slapping me when I go for an extra cookie. I miss your smile and the ways you make me smile. I miss how you dance at parties and how you make me dance with you. I miss you. I miss you, Killian."

Another tear fell down her cheek, "No."

In another second, the paper was crumpled and thrown to the ground, and another was set for her to write on.

She took in a deep breath and let out a shallow one, before she began to write, "Dear Killian, I've been looking for you again and still I cannot find you. My eyes wander off in the blue sea and in the silky mantel of the sky in search of a glimpse of your eyes, a glimpse of your much needed presence. Everything blue in this world reminds me of your sweet, deep eyes. I miss you more and more with every memory of you, at all times, but more so when I'm feeling lonely and distant. The love I feel for you is honest and true, in the exact same proportion as the sea is deep and the sky is infinite. And the immense, empty galactic space is the dimension of how much I miss you. I wish I were a God and I wish I could gather all the pleasures that I take from your presence. I wish I could gather in my soul all the affection with which you strengthen me and I wish you would never deprive me of your big smile and those amazing blue eyes of yours that always seem to have the ability to warm up and calm my heart. I need to see you again fast. I need our eyes to meet so I can see the magic, the truth and the affection reflected in those kind, beautiful eyes of yours."

The paper was wet by the time she finished writing. She missed him - him and everything about him.

April of 2017

Emma stepped down off the ladder after taking the last ornament off the tree. It had been four months since Christmas, and she had made no effort to take down any decorations. She had been too busy with work - the days at the station had been filled with murder investigations, robberies, suspect interrogations and just plain, boring paperwork, with her parents - who still bother her about only going to college for two years and becoming a policewoman, and with her personal issues - which include having no social, love or sex life. Not only had she been tied down with these ongoing altercations, but she also had her ex-boyfriend, Graham Humbert, up her ass trying to get back together. Her life was a mess.

She sighed as she packed the the box of glass ornaments away in a storage container, one of the many that still needed to get packed and put away in her storage unit. Christmas season wasn't always this miserable. Her past Christmases consisted of cookie making, tree shopping, family photo shoots, gift giving, and memories - not listening to jazzy blues while taking down the decorations four months later. Christmas was supposed to be a time of joy and happiness, family and friends, and love and festivities.

Yeah, right. Her Christmas was shit. Her parents refused to come down this year, because 'Neal needed to spend his first Christmas at home'. And Emma wasn't allowed to come visit because 'she'd probably ruin the spirit with her nasty attitude and Scrooge-like demeanor'.

With another sigh, she went on her tiptoes and pulled the wreath off her front door. She laughed to herself and remembered when she first got that wreath - she had handmade it with her friend in eighth grade and gave it to her mother as a gift. Her mother gifted it back to her as a going away gift when she moved to the city after college.

Living in the city made her life hard, too. Falling asleep every night at 3am - due to the cab honks, the ambulance sirens, and the voice of the city, sometimes not even getting home from work until midnight, had put a dent in her routine. She rarely ate the three important meals on time, got the required amount of sleep, or had any quiet time.

Guess that's what the cost was of living over 400 miles away from your parents.

Emma placed the old wreath down in a different storage box, bumping into a small red box that sparked memories in her brain.

December of 2009

"I thought we weren't getting each other gifts this year? I thought we agreed that we were saving for a trip after we graduate." she sighed as he placed a small red box in her palm.

"It's just a little something," he smiled, bending down to both of his knees, "No big deal."

She looked at his eyes, which were expressing his happiness. Her free hand nervously slid across her thick white sweater - which he had insisted she had worn rather than the red leather jacket she always had on - and she took a deep breath as she eyed the little box. His hand found her knee, it tightening around it as he shook her leg with anticipation.

"Just open it," he laughed, "Nothing to be scared about."

She picked the box up out of her palm and twisted it around her fingers for a few seconds - which made him appear even more anxious. Then, she paused and held it closer to her body, staring intensely at it and then eyeing him down. He sent her a reassuring smile before she nodded and flicked open the box, a moment that made her heart stop, her breath quicken, and her eyes widen.

"I'm not proposing." he said with a laugh.

Inside the box, in all its glory, was a silver ring - one of which he had kept sacred to him for the past few years. He had collected rings as representations of things that happened in his life, and he had never spoken of giving them away to anyone. One he had, represented the pain he felt when his mother died in middle school, another expressing his happiness for his older brother getting married. This one, the one in her hand, she had never seen before. She had never heard its story or seen it on any of his fingers.

"It's new," he simply said, "Want to hear its story?"

All she did was nod.

He stood and sat down next to her, wrapping one arm around her waist - which allowed her to lie her head in the crook of his neck. He sighed contently and looked at her, "It represents the love I have for you, everything we've shared, the hope I have for our future."

"It's beautiful." she finally spoke.

"It's yours."

She looked up at him, before he took the ring from her grasp and slid the ring onto one of her fingers.

"Merry Christmas, love."

"Merry Christmas."

May of 2017

Emma hung up her clean clothes in her closet, one by one. Her clothes were dull, full of blacks, blues, grays, and maroons. It was a daily reminder of her life - lonely, sad, and full of darkness. There was one item in her closet that was white, her graduation gown. She pushed through her large assortment of dark clothing, finding the crystal white graduation gown hidden all the way in the back of her closet. She instantly felt its thick linen material run through her fingers - a good memory of her graduation flashing before her eyes.

She took it off the hanger and pulled it over her shoulders, slowly zipping it shut and turning around in the mirror. With a small smile, she took in how good it felt to be a teenager again, when all her problems were nonexistent.

High school was the best time of her life. She had the highest grades - all A's in every AP class, had many friends - including Ruby, Mulan, and Belle, who all have left her for their own families, and had an amazing boyfriend - oh, Killian. Killian Jones, captain of the swimming team, straight A student, and her boyfriend for three and a half years. He was perfect for her, perhaps her soulmate. He helped her through the toughest parts of her life - including her grandmother's death, the car crash she was in, and even the bully, Regina Mills. He was there through thick and thin.

Until graduation.

May of 2010

"Killian, you coming to dinner at Granny's? To celebrate us graduating from high school?" Emma said as she grabbed his hand.

He sent her a sad look, one that she had never seen on his face except for the time he talked about his mother dying. Killian looked to the ground and squeezed her hand, "I'm afraid not, love."

"Why not?"

He looked up at her now, his eyes wet and his face full of fear. He led her to sit down on a bench outside of the school and sighed, "I've been hiding something for you. I didn't want to tell you because somehow saying it out loud makes it real."

She raised an eyebrow and caressed his cheek, him then looking to the ground and refusing to look up at her.

He shook his head, "I, well my father and I, have talked and decided it's best if I study abroad this summer. In Europe."

Her mouth dropped.

Killian looked up at her now, the tears were fighting to escape his eyes, and said, "We found this amazing school in Italy that gives an astounding education for my major. I tried changing the date of my enrollment, but things are really different in Europe; their schooling is different. The only enrollment date I could receive was June 1st."

"That's tomorrow, Killian."

"Which is why I can't go out and celebrate with you tonight." he said.

She took her hands from his, turning straight so that the side if her body faced him, "I thought we agreed with going to West Los Angeles College, and I would major in Law Enforcement and you in Oceanology. What happened to our dream?"

He reached for her hand again, taking it up to his lips and kissing her knuckles, "Europe has a better program, but please don't stop following your dream because of me. I'd hate to live with myself knowing I cost you your dream."

"Killian, this was our future. Do you just expect me to let you go like that?"

He paused, then turned her head to face him, their gazes finally meeting for the first time this whole conversation. Then, he spoke, "I hope you let go of me. Don't let me hold you back. You deserve happiness."

"But you are my happiness."

"I'm sorry, Emma, I really am," he sighed, "I'll be back someday, but until then, be happy. Goodbye and I love you."

Killian kissed her sweetly one last time, before standing and walking away without looking back. If he looked back, he'd never be able to leave for Europe.

June of 2017

Yeah, so she went on without him. She went to the school of her dreams and got her associates degree in Law Enforcement. Emma graduated from West Los Angeles College in 2012, then moved to the city to fulfill her dream of becoming a policewoman. The 24 months she spent in college were rough. She was on and off with with some guys like Neal, Walsh, and then Graham, but she never truly forgot Killian. He was forever stuck in her brain, or heart. Her relationship with Graham grew more serious when they moved to the city. They shared an apartment and both worked at the city's police department. He was promoted to being the sheriff, until the department discovered he was helping a convict escape from the county jail. This meant that Emma was being promoted.

So, she became sheriff. Her parents weren't too happy to begin with, considering that they expected her to 'go to college for something more important'. She cut off all ties with them until her mother gave birth to her younger brother, Neal, in late 2015.

Graham still is up her ass trying to get back together. He promised that he has changed and that he'd never pull any stunt like that with her. He said he'd never lie to her and never keep any secrets.

Secrets were terrible. Especially ones so big that you don't tell your girlfriend until the night before you're going away to Europe for four years.

The other day was Emma's 25th birthday. She had no one to celebrate it with: no friends, no family, and no boyfriend.

She woke up late that morning, around 11 or so. She stirred around in her bed until she heard her phone buzz crazily, before she picked it up and was being called in for an attempted hit and run on West 34th street. Emma hurriedly got dressed and threw her hair up into a ponytail, before making her way to the station to pick up a squad car. She made it to the scene not even fifteen minutes after the call. On the corner of the street, a man was sitting on the curb, late 20s, dark hair, cleaned up pretty well, and looked like a man of power. In the street across from him was a yellow taxi, with an infuriated driver standing outside of it, accompanied by her fellow officer, Leroy. She stuck her hands in her jean pockets before strolling over to the scene, over to Leroy first.

"What happened?"

Leroy looked at his notepad, "Man was crossing the street, light turned green and taxi flew through the intersection. Apparently he hit the man, but no terrible injuries that followed."

"Deal with him, I got the guy on the curb."

She shook her head as she crossed the street, walking over to the guy. Emma squatted down in front of him and said, "So, wanna tell me what happened or you wanna sit around and mope all day?"

"Hello, lass, what wonderful weather we're having. Yes, I'm fine, thanks for asking. No, there is no family you should call and notify." the man said.

"Quick with the tongue, I gather?"

The man rolled his eyes and stood from the ground, his black jeans unwrinkling and his white t shirt tightening in the process. His biceps emerged from the shirt's sleeves as he sighed. Emma squinted at him; for some odd reason, she was feeling weird.

He crossed his arms, which made his muscles flex and grow, "I was walking; the light was red for them. So I walked, sooner rather than later I get hit with a big, yellow vehicle-"

"A taxi." she interrupted.

"Yeah, a bloody taxi comes for me and almost kills me in broad daylight!" he said.

She tried seeing his face, but every time she leaned to, he turned even further away. She said, "Did you see it coming towards you?"

"If I saw the bloody monster coming towards me, do you think I would go ahead and continue walking?" he sassed.

"Listen up, pal. I'm the sheriff of this city and I don't care for your attitude. I am here trying to figure out the incident that just took place on my streets, and I'd really appreciate it if you'd cooperate with me for two seconds," she said, "Then I'll leave you alone with your sorrows."

He sighed and rubbed his head, "Sorry, you're right. It's just my first day back in the states in like seven years, so I'm still trying to get the hang of things. I walked and saw it coming, but I figured they'd stop since it was a red light."

She nodded as she took her hands out of her pockets, "Well, in New York, you can't expect taxi drivers to do anything. They've been here longer than most of us and they know exactly when the light is going to turn and exactly when they need to stop and go. I've learned that the hard way."

"Did you?" he said as he turned somewhat towards her but not enough to see his face.

"Yeah, first night on the job. I almost got hit by one; I was driving through a yellow light because I had to get to a robbery scene. The light turned while I was in the middle of the intersection and a taxi almost sacked me dry." she said.

"Is he going to jail or?"

Emma turned towards the frantic taxi driver, who was still talking to Leroy, "Probably just a ticket."

He nodded, "Right, well I should be on my way."

"To?"

"Looking for an old friend, must be around here somewhere." he replied.

She nodded, "Maybe I could help you out. You got a name or address?"

He turned completely towards her and nodded, "Yeah, Emma Swan-"

"No shit, you've got to be kidding me." Emma said, her mouth dropping.

He stepped back so his body was against the wall, "Emma?"

She brushed a piece of hair behind her ear and her eyes widened, "Killian?"

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